Destined (5 page)

“What about Rafael?” she asked. “You said you met him when you were exploring the archive?”

“A very long time ago, that. Over two centuries back. But I stil remember it to the day. Both of us were outcasts, wandering without a pack or a permanent home. In our own ways, we both ended up on the path to the archive.”

“And what did you find there?” Laura asked.

Alexander smiled slyly. “Not enough. But I am hoping this time it wil be different.”

“Why would it be?”

“A lot has changed since those days,” he explained. “The hierarchy within our race has shown cracks. Oh, those at the top deny it completely – they deny it vehemently – but in truth, they are scared. Scared to lose their position of power, and their position of influence. That is why I think they took such interest in you.”

“In me?” Laura stopped to regard Alexander curiously. “What could I have ever done to threaten their power?”

“It is not what you have done,” Alexander said,

“but what you have the potential to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“You do not know it yet, Laura, but hidden in the
Vassiz
creed there is mention of a prophecy. A fleeting few words, overlooked by nearly al . But I do not believe the elders to be foolish enough to overlook it. I suspect in my heart that your arrival in the dream world may have triggered some of their memories of that prophecy.”

“
My
arrival?” Laura was shocked. “What kind of prophecy are you talking about? Not like a…

destiny?”

“Perhaps,” he answered obliquely. “Or perhaps not. We wil find more answers in the archives when we arrive.”

“Just what
do
you expect to find there this time?”

she asked again.

“Answers. But, in al likelihood, more questions.”

They walked silently for a few minutes, each with their own thoughts. Then something occurred to Laura.

“Why did you say you trust my word last night?”

she asked. “Madison certainly did not.”

“I… saw something about you,” he admitted. Then he shrugged. “It’s a gift I have. Sometimes, I can see things about people – about the
Vassiz
– that others cannot. And I know them to be true entirely.”

“A gift? You mean your
ability
?”

“Yes, some might cal it that,” Alexander replied.

“Most would not be so easy to share theirs with others, though.”

“Logan told me that already,” Laura said. “But he never explained
why
.”

Alexander spread his hands as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “The
Vassiz
are not the most trusting of species. When you live for as long as we do, you start seeing the same patterns, the same ways of the world, over and over again. You grow cold, and suspicious of others, because you know of how often they have let you down. And when your only partners on the journey are those with the same suspicions… wel , let’s just say it doesn’t hurt to hold one ace close to the sleeve.”

Laura frowned. That sounded very bleak. “Do…

al of you live in suspicion, like that?”

“I wouldn’t say that we live
in
suspicion, real y,” he replied. “Rather, it has become deeply ingrained within us. We do not know how to survive in any other way. It is who we were born as, and who we have grown to be. It is the only way most know.”

“That sounds awful y depressing,” Laura said.

“It can be, sometimes. That is why it is worthwhile to find at least one other you can trust. Another you might take on your journey.”

“A spouse?” Laura asked.

Alexander laughed. “No, we do not marry. A…

lover
would be more accurate.”

“Hmm.” Is that what she and Logan were destined to become? Mere
lovers
? “Is Madison, then, your… err, I mean, is she…” Laura cleared her throat, “…uh…”

Alexander laughed again. “She and I have journeyed far together, yes. Sometimes our paths lead to different destinations, but we always seem reconvene. I have known her for very long, almost as long as I have been alive.”

“So there is… romance between you two?”

Alexander nodded. “A blunt way of putting it, but yes.”

Laura was impressed. Alexander had told her he had known Madison for nearly
six hundred
years, and despite everything that surely must have happened, they were stil together. Together in spite of the suspicions apparently deeply rooted into every vampire. She looked up ahead at Logan, who was stil talking to Madison. She wouldn’t mind, she realized dreamily, spending that much time with him. If only the stupid man would stop being so distant.

~Disagreement~

When they made camp later that night, Laura’s state of affairs with Madison hadn’t gotten any better. Neither had she been able to get a single word in with Logan. Gray had diverted her attention, somewhat, though, and having him by her side made her feel a little better. Stil , once Alexander had gone back up to walk with Madison and Logan, Laura fel in al alone in the back.

She had no idea what prompted Logan’s

sudden, inexplicable distance. But she knew it al started last night, when they met Alexander and Madison.

Alexander seemed wel -meaning enough, so she

couldn’t pin the blame on him. He had taken the time to actual y talk to her today, unlike Madison. And he said he trusted her.

No, Madison was where her problems lay. She

was the one who was so disapproving of what Laura did. Or, worse yet, completely ignoring what Laura did – and getting the others to do so as wel . A strange turn of events after the respect that Laura had felt for her when they met less than 24 hours ago. By the time night came, Laura was starting to despise Madison. She knew it was premature, and that she should at least
try
to remedy things between them, but, at the same time, she didn’t like the way she was being treated. And to be honest, Laura
had
tried to get a word in with Madison while they journeyed that day, but none of it did any good. She wasn’t just a
child
, no matter what Madison thought, and she
could
control herself – she had proven as much with the hunter. She doubted Madison could have held on like that during her first feeding. She sat down on the hard ground at the base of a tree. Gray was with her. Not far away, Logan was talking to Madison, who had her back turned to Laura. Alexander had gone to get firewood for the night. Laura was determined to speak to Logan,
tonight
, to find out what was going on. Although it had only been a day, she hadn’t felt this alienated from him… ever.

He glanced back at her over Madison’s shoulder, and their eyes met. Laura made a gesture showing she wanted to talk, and Logan nodded in understanding. He excused himself from Madison’s company and walked over to her.

“What’s going on?” he asked lightly, as if everything was completely normal.

“What’s going on,” Laura started determinedly,

“is that you’ve been spending entirely too much time with…
her
.” She said the last word venomously.

“Who, Madison?” Logan asked innocently.

“Yes, Madison,” Laura repeated. “Ever since we met the pair of them, you’ve done nothing but whispering secrets in each other’s ear.”

“Secrets? I have nothing to hide.”

“Then why have you been so distant? We haven’t spoken once al day!”

“Real y?” He sounded confused. He paused for a deliberate second. “…no, you’re wrong. We spoke this morning about Gray.”

Laura stared at him in disbelief. “Wel , that hardly counts!”

Logan rol ed his eyes at her. “If you say one thing, and I prove you wrong, then you backtrack and say you didn’t mean it that way…” he shrugged, “… I can hardly be expected to keep up with you.”

“
What
?”

“Maybe,” he said more slowly, and a bit more harshly, “you should try to be
more clear
in what you say.” And he started to turn away.

“Wait!” Laura exclaimed, “where are you going?”

“Back to where I was before you cal ed me into this frivolous conversation.”
Frivolous
conversation?

That’s al he had to say to her?

“With who,” Laura contended, “Madison?”

“Yes,
Madison
,” Logan emphasized. “And I think if you knew what was good for you, you would apologize to her.”

Laura was flabbergasted. “Apologize to her?

Apologize for
what
?”

“For the way you’ve been acting al day,” Logan said harshly. “It’s not like her concern about you had been a trivial one, and for her to agree this morning to come along… it takes character.
You’d
better start showing her that she made the right decision.”

Showing
Madison? Laura wasn’t some kind of subservient dol to be sucking up to the woman who so clearly despised her!

“What are you talking about…?” Laura began angrily, but Logan cut her off.

“And while you’re at it, you should thank Alexander. It had been nearly impossible to convince Madison to come along, but Alexander managed to do so after speaking on your behalf. I don’t know what gave him half the confidence to believe in you so much, but it is only thanks to him that we are al journeying together. You need to show more respect. If we hadn’t met them, we’d stil be wondering the woods without a place to go!”

“Are you blind and deaf?” Laura snapped.

“There’s nothing that I’ve done wrong! It’s al been
her
, and she’s poisoning your mind with whatever she’s tel ing you.”

“No.” Logan shook his head. “You do not understand. She is one of only two others we can trust. If you were smart, you would put aside your differences and see that it is the only way.” And he turned and walked back to Madison, who was now standing and looking out into the forest.

Laura had to blink a few times to get a hold on herself. She realized her eyes were watery, and angrily wiped at them with the back of her hand. What had prompted Logan to speak to her like that? He had been so… harsh. So uncompromising. He hadn’t even
tried
to listen to what she had to say!

For the first time since they met, she felt angry at him. And she thought she deserved the right. After ignoring her al day, he had the nerve to tel her to start
kissing up
to Madison? That’s what he real y meant by al that. Laura hadn’t done
anything
to deserve such treatment, from him
or
from Madison. She started to get up, to go after him and demand an apology, but realized that Gray was growling beside her. He must have picked up on her mood. She looked at him… and sat back down. If Logan wanted to behave like a complete jerk, then let him. She didn’t have to fawn after him like a ditzy girl, and if he wanted to push her away right now, so be it. She would
wait
for him to apologize to her. She knew he would come around to it eventual y.

Pul ing Gray close to her, she started stroking his back. The cub relaxed at her touch, and lay down beside her. She would wait until Logan saw that he was in the wrong.

~Leave-takings~

Laura woke that night to the sound of hushed whispers. She opened her eyes groggily. Gray had fal en asleep in her arms, and she could feel the warmth radiating through his fur. She looked over to the source of the noise.

Away from her, Alexander and Madison stood huddled together. Laura squinted to make out their shapes against the stil -burning fire, and realized that their body language was stiff. Angry. At one moment, Alexander was gesturing to Madison with his hands, and the next Madison was saying something and stamping her feet. Laura wondered what it was al about.

She started to get up, when she caught Logan’s shape beside them. He was standing right in the middle of them, just further away, looking at his feet. Laura wondered what the disagreement was about. Suddenly she realized she could make out the whispered voices. Strange, as she hadn’t been able to before. But this time she listened careful y. She didn’t think she was meant to hear.

“…just go, then!” Alexander said angrily. “If that’s what how you feel, you shouldn’t be here.”

“Go?” Madison laughed. “That had been my plan al along. What I didn’t know is that it would be without you.”

“You’ve made your choice, then,” he said gravely. “Him over me.” Laura’s heart dropped. “Him over me”? He couldn’t mean…
Logan
, could he?

“Or perhaps he has chosen me over the

newborn,” she said triumphantly. “She is naïve and inexperienced, while I know what I am about. I’m not one to get in the way, like her.”

“Hah!” Alexander barked a crude laugh. “You have no idea what is good for you. And without me there… think! Over the years, how many times would you have fal en into a pit you could not climb out of were it not for me?”

“Or perhaps without you,” she answered roughly,

“I would not have fal en at al .”

He grunted in reply. “This is truly what you want, then?”

“Yes.”

“It is a foolish choice. But if you have made the decision… I wil not interfere.”

“Nor would I expect you to. But I wil give you once chance to reconsider. Come with us, and leave the girl.”

“Leave the girl?” Alexander said angrily. “She is alone and being chased by an army of our kind, and you suggest for me to just
leave her
?”

“Alone?” Again, Madison laughed. “She has that bear. A despicable habit, taking in strays like that. But that is who you chose to attach yourself to, were you to stay.”

“I am not leaving.”

“You’ve made your choice, then,” she spat.

“Come, Logan, let us go.” Wait.
Logan
? Laura saw Madison turn towards Logan. She couldn’t be…

leaving with him
?

“Wait!” Laura yel ed out. Instantly, al three heads whipped to her.

“She’s up,” Madison sneered derisively. “Fine. It is good for her to see this.”

“You should not treat her so,” Alexander warned, but it was Logan who started towards her. Logan who she needed to speak to.

He walked closer, and squatted down beside her. “What did you hear?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Laura said, her voice quivering. She had to be mistaken, right? He couldn’t just be…

leaving
her? “I heard noises, and I woke up, and I heard an argument…” she cut off mid-sentence as her voice cracked. She couldn’t understand what was going on. “Tel me I heard wrong,” she pleaded. “Tel me you’re not real y going!”

He regarded her through unreadable eyes. For a long moment, he just looked right at her. Laura felt al the emotions that she had gone through with him at once: fear and uncertainty, remorse and sadness, delight and despair. What was he hiding from her?

What was he thinking behind those dark eyes? Then he sighed. “It is time for me to leave, Laura.”

Laura felt like she had been stabbed in the stomach. Her whole world crashed down around her, and she could feel her chest tighten. After what they’ve been through, after coming so close to death more than once, after finding happiness in each other’s arms… he was just leaving? Just like that?

Was is the way she talked to him earlier that night that pushed him away? Was it something else she did that she didn’t know? She had a mil ion different questions, al begging to be answered, but settled on just one: “Why?”

“Because it is the right time,” he repeated.

Laura shook her head angrily. “No!” she said.

“You can’t just… leave me! What about everything we’ve been through? What about
us
?”

“Us?” Logan looked her up and down again, and his expression did not change. “I am sorry if you got the wrong impression, Laura. But there is no ‘us’. There never was, and never wil be.”

“What?” Laura couldn’t believe her ears. “What about everything we’ve been through? Everything you’ve shown me?”

“I did not promise you anything, Laura,” he said sternly. “And I’m afraid your imagination got the better of you. It has come time for me to leave.”

He got up and turned around. In that one brief conversation, Laura felt completely annihilated. Like everything she had ever believe in had turned out to be built on a base of sand. Her eyes were wet, and she didn’t care.

“Wait!” He stopped, and turned slowly. “I…”

Laura swal owed. She was painful y aware of Madison’s eyes on her. “I want you to stay.”

To her complete shock, Logan barked a laugh.

“You want me to stay?” he repeated mockingly. “You do not know what you want, Laura.” Then his words became sharp.
Cutting
. “The only reason you think you want me to stay is because I transformed you.”

Devastating
. “It is the only reason you think you feel something for me at al .” Each word cut deeper than the last, wounded her until she was completely maimed. “It is al in your imagination, Laura, and you have made up a grand fairytale to fit your new life. I have fulfil ed my obligation to you. I have saved your life, as I promised, in the caves, and now it is time for us to part.” Laura stared in complete shock, unable to utter a single word in protest. “I have told you I have broken many parts of the
Vassiz
creed. Staying with you after the transformation was the biggest one so far. You have become smitten by imagined feelings to the point of being unable to think straight.” He looked just slightly above her head, now, not meeting her eye. “Forget whatever feelings you harbor for me, Laura, for I hold none for you.”

Laura watched, perfectly stil , as Logan came up to Madison and took her arm. She watched as they walked deliberately into the forest, directly away from her. She watched as they started to run together, blurring in the darkness, and running impossibly fast through the tress. And then, when she was certain they were gone, she cried.