Destined (7 page)

“Now, I believe you can control the feeding urge –

and you have proven that already. But you have not used your vampire abilities for an extended period of time. What I am afraid of, since you haven’t taken human blood yet, is that if we make use of those abilities for too long, or too intensely, the vampire part of you wil lash out. It wil demand to be released. And you might lose yourself forever.”

Despite herself, Laura shivered. She did not like the ominous way in which Alexander had said that last sentence. In the face of everything that’s happened to her, Laura stil felt very much
human
in her mind. She stil felt like she had the same mind as before undergoing the transformation… stil felt like she was the same person. But if what Alexander was saying was true – no, there was no “if,” it
was
true – she could potential lose that part of herself? That, she admitted unsteadily, would be a fate not far from death. And she felt a spate of anger at Logan for not tel ing her about it earlier.

“So what do we do?” Laura asked.

“We start out slowly, at first, and then depending on how you handle it, go faster. We wil take breaks in our travel today, and go at half-speed. I believe that wil keep you safe.”

“Good,” Laura said.

“Although,” Alexander smiled, “it wil stil be significantly faster than you’ve journeyed yet.”

~Gray~

By the end of the day, Laura felt exhausted. This was the first time she could think of she actual y felt
tired
since undergoing the vampire transformation. They had run al day, and run fast. The only other time Laura did something similar was in the dream world with Logan, when they were exploring her new powers together. Except there, she felt none of the physical exhaustion she was experiencing now. They had covered lots of ground, no doubt. Laura thought it could have been up to one hundred miles. But at the same time, like Alexander had said, they took breaks. And slowed down when it suited them. In fact, Gray had kept pace most of the time, running alongside them. But running for the better part of an entire day, no matter your physical condition, was exhausting.

It was kind of embarrassing, real y. Alexander had gone the entire day without looking like he was exerting any effort, while Laura was struggling heavily by the end. She was a vampire now, part of the
Vassiz
, and she knew her body could do better than that.
Not yet, though
, she admitted begrudgingly.

“You did wel today,” Alexander said as he squatted easily beside Laura. He was a graceful runner, and Laura wondered how long it would take her to achieve that easy elegance. She definitely didn’t have it today.

“Not as wel as I thought,” Laura mumbled.

“Nonsense. You did better than I could have ever expected.” Laura looked up at him, and he was smiling reassuringly at her. Although she was almost entirely sure she was lying, the compliment made her feel a little better.

“I’l do better tomorrow,” Laura promised. Alexander started to laugh.

“You see?” he said, stil chuckling. “You have a steely resolve. Just like I told you earlier today.”

“Very perceptive,” Laura said drily.

Alexander smiled. “It’s good to be perceptive. Those who survive the longest are those who can see their surroundings most clearly.”

“And what are our surrounding, then?” Laura asked.

“Ours?” Alexander stepped back. “We are at a place where we can behold some of the greatest landscapes in the world. There is wilderness on al sides, and the air is ripe with a sense of adventure.”

His voice became dramatic. “Our surroundings take us to a place where destiny may yet await, where we can learn the truth of our own race. Where secrets that have lain dormant for thousands of years may be discovered.” He began gesturing grandly, and his discovered.” He began gesturing grandly, and his voice started to boom. “Our surroundings give us the backdrop to our journey, on our quest to find truth and good in a time of great uncertainty. To discover the mysteries of the
Vassiz
, to uncover the elders’

spectacular rise to power!” He looked at Laura, his head held high. “We journey onwards, not to find a relic of the past, but to pave the way for a new order, and usher in the age of a paradigmatic shift of the power hierarchies of the
Vassiz
. We journey onwards, to find truth, and honor!” He looked at her, his chest held high, and stood frozen in place for a long moment… and then burst out laughing.

Laura looked at him in confusion. “What did you mean by al that?”

Alexander, stil laughing, answered her. “Lighten up girl, come on, I’m only having some fun.”

“Oh!” She was relieved. And a bit surprised too. “…But…?” Then it al set in. He was mocking their journey! Just poking fun at where they were going and at the question she asked. She didn’t know why it took that long for everything to make sense. She must be
very
tired not to have understood it right away. Alexander was stil laughing, though, and Laura started to as wel . Although it was a bit of an uncomfortable laugh.

“So,” Alexander said final y, motioning with his head to Gray, “you never did tel me the story about the bear.”

“Gray?”

“Yes. He’s an unusual companion for you.”

“He likes me,” Laura said while motioning Gray over. The cub came and sat by Laura, pawing at his nose. Laura scrubbed his neck. “His mother as kil ed by hunters that… Logan… and I met in the woods.”

Even the memory of that, not so very long ago, threatened to stir up some put aside feelings, but Laura pushed them down. “If we left Gray, he would have died. So, I took him with me.”

“Strange,” Alexander mused, “that you would care for another animal so.”

“Is it?” Laura asked. “I’ve liked animals my whole life, and I couldn’t just let this one die.”

“Yes, your whole life as a human. But since you’ve become a vampire, certain things tend to change.”

“I’m stil
me
,” Laura defended. “I stil like the things I liked, stil care about the things I cared about.”

“Right,” Alexander agreed, “most newborns would say similar things. But that bear truly is interesting.”

“Why?”

“Animals and vampires don’t tend to mix wel . I think it is because they sense something about us, something…
foul
. Something different than from humans.”

“Logan told me that,” Laura said quietly.

“Right. I have known women who were

transformed, most long ago, who claimed they loved animals when they were humans. But as soon as the transformation takes hold, they lose anything they’ve ever felt for the creatures. It is the same with al of the
Vassiz
. Our eyes tend to just… glaze over… other animals. It’s nothing you can control, but you just don’t
sense
that they’re there. You pay no attention to them, and they to you. No more than you would to, say, the feel of your knee, on a regular day. But that seems not to be the case with you.”

“No,” Laura replied thoughtful y. “It is not.”

“That is why I made the comment on the bear only now. Truth be told, I hadn’t even noticed you had him until mid-day today.”

“Real y?” Laura was surprised. Gray was
always
right there beside her. To not notice him would be…

like being blind.

“Real y. Like I said, something about being a vampire makes you lose your affinity to animals. It’s almost like they don’t exist. That is what this was like for me.”

“Then how did you notice him? Just out of curiosity. And can you see him now?”

“Now,” Alexander laughed, “I can see him easily. It’s like I explained just now, it’s not like bear is
invisible
to me. He’s just not… conspicuous. Nothing he does real y warrants my attention, and my mind just blanks him out. As with al other animals. When I finally
did
notice him, however, I see him whenever I want.”

“Because your attention was brought to him?”

“That’s right. It’s like the blue elephant.”

“Blue elephant?” Laura asked, confused.

“What’s that?”

“A psychological trick.”

“How does it work?”

“Easy. I sit you down and tel you that you are free to think about anything in the world
except
blue elephants. Go on, try it out. Think about anything you want, as long as it’s not a blue elephant. Now, I’ve told you what you can and cannot think about, and yet… right now, what are you thinking about?”

Laura squinted at him. “…A blue elephant,” she said reluctantly.

“Exactly. It’s a psychological process where if you try to suppress particular thoughts, they actual y become stronger. So, with the blue elephant – the concept of it was always in your mind, just tucked away in a corner somewhere. And me tel ing you to
not
think about it brings it right into focus. Earlier today, when we were running through the woods, you weren’t thinking about it. Yet right now, you can’t get it out of your head.”

“That’s true,” Laura said, feeling oddly frustrated that she could fal so easily to such a simple trick.

“It’s the same thing with the bear. Now that I’ve seen him, I’m aware he’s there. And thinking back, I realize that he’s always been. But before I noticed him for the first time, he was al but invisible to me.”

“That’s… fascinating,” Laura said.

“It’s like that with al the
Vassiz
. You are the first I know of who doesn’t share that trait.”

“Hmm,” Laura said, again in thought. “I wonder why.”

“I couldn’t tel you. It’s something you have to figure out on your own. But I have a feeling it’s not mere coincidence that you’ve picked Gray up on your journey.”

“What do you mean?”

“Some things, Laura, are meant to be… more so than others. And sometimes, gifts can come from the most unexpected of places. Fate lays our lives out before us, and al we do is traverse the course as best we can.”

“You think that Gray has a part in my…
fate
?”

“I think he might have a bigger part than you and I yet realize,” Alexander said. “What that might be, of course, I don’t pretend to know.” He paused, and smiled. “Then again, he might not have a part to play at al .”

“I guess we’l see eventual y,” Laura said. Something about what Alexander about Gray’s role in her life said resonated with her because it sounded so familiar. So… similar to what she’s heard before. Then she remembered that Logan had told her nearly the same thing, when she first picked Gray up. She looked down at the bear, who stared back at her sleepily.

“His fur is also an unusual color,” Alexander continued. “I don’t think there are many bears alive like that one today.”

“That’s why I intend to
keep
him alive,” Laura said with unexpected determinedness. Alexander spread his hands.

“I meant no offense, Laura. Simply curious.”

Laura shook her head. She didn’t know what brought such strength in her last words. Certainly Alexander hadn’t said anything that offended her.

“None taken,” she told him.

“Anyway,” Alexander said, stretching his arms,

“you’l want to get a good night’s sleep tonight. We’ve got a long, hard day ahead of us tomorrow, and we’l be nearing the vil age, where the archive sits.”

“So we travel ed as far as you had planned today?” Laura asked somewhat proudly.

“Further,” Alexander told her. Then he paused thoughtful y, holding a finger to his lips. “You know,”

he started, “it has been a long time since I have last been there. It wil be interesting to see how the years have changed the place.”

Laura went to sleep deliberating what Alexander told her. That her affinity with Gray was not the normal way of being for the
Vassiz
. She wondered if it had anything to do with the latent ability that she had gained during the transformation… the one that she hadn’t realized yet.

When she dreamt that night, Gray was in her dreams, and he warded off al her nightmares.

~The Run~

“Ready to go?”

Laura was woken up by Alexander’s voice, along with a gentle nudge on her shoulder. She opened her eyes, and saw that it was just past dawn.

“Already?” she mumbled. It was the first night she’d slept without nightmares, but despite that she felt like she barely had any rest.

“Already,” Alexander smiled, and helped her up.

“We should be able to get to the town by nightfal .”

“What’s it cal ed, anyway?” Laura asked, realizing for the first time that she didn’t know the name of their destination.

“Nakusp. Natives have lived there for hundreds of years, but it was only settled by Europeans at the turn of the last century. They came and made it a mining town, before realizing there weren’t many minerals to be found. So, most abandoned it. But the people who stayed stil safeguard the archive. Most are aboriginals, now.”

“And the archive… do you know when it was established?”

“A few hundred years ago, at least,” Alexander replied. “Beyond that, I couldn’t tel you. But come; we’l find more when we get there.”

“Alright,” Laura said, stretching her arms out wide in an effort to more ful y wake up. “I’m ready to go.”

“Good,” Alexander smiled. “Make sure Gray feeds enough this morning, because the path ahead is going to be harder than yesterday’s.”

Laura looked at Alexander. “I didn’t think you’d care enough about him to mention that.”

Alexander frowned. “Just because I tend not to notice animals, Laura, does not mean I can’t see what’s important to you. Gray is, and he’s our third companion. We al need to be ready for today’s trek.”

“Alright,” Laura said. She knelt down to shake Gray up. He looked at her drowsily, and yawned widely. “Come on,” she told him, “we’ve got to get going. Go see if you can find some berries in the woods.” To her surprise, almost immediately on those words, Gray scrambled up and ran off. She had been training him, yes, but she did not think he would respond so wel so quickly.

“Impressive,” Alexander noted, “how wel he listens to you.”

“He’s more intel igent than other cubs,” Laura said, standing up. “He’s learned everything I’ve taught him on only the first or second go.”

“And I don’t believe bears are natural y domesticated animals,” Alexander offered, “which makes what you can do al the more astounding.”

“It’s not so much me, I don’t think, but more
him
.”

“Either way, it’s something I haven’t seen before.” In spite of herself, Laura smiled. To have impressed Alexander, who had lived through more than six centuries already, must real y take something. As if she had said it out loud, Alexander laughed.

“What?” Laura defended, feeling her cheeks grow hot.

“Nothing,” Alexander said with an amused smile. Then he looked back. “Alright, come on. I can hear him coming.”

Laura listened, and realized that she could hear rusting noises getting closer, too, from the direction that Gray first ran off. He must have stumbled on a ful berry bush to come back so quickly. When Gray emerged from the trees, mouth stained with berry juice, Alexander took off. Motioning to Gray with one hand, Laura fol owed.

They ran through the trees at an easy pace, at first. Laura knew she could go much faster, especial y after running al day yesterday, and despite stil feeling slightly groggy from sleep, her legs felt fresh. She ducked around heavy tree trunks and under low-hanging branches. Alexander led the way in front of her, just as he had before, and she suspected he picked out the easiest paths for them to take. Stil , every once in a while Laura caught herself just short of tripping over the uneven ground.

As she ran, her thoughts turned to Logan. Logan, and who he real y was; what his character real y was. She had known him so briefly, but in the short period of time, that little bit of something that she felt… it must have been real. But what
was
it that she even felt for him? A schoolyard crush? Nothing more than that, most likely, but even now, thinking of him… it made her slightly unsteady.

She jumped to narrowly avoid an old fal en tree, already heavily rotted and thick with fungus, and landed softly on her feet. She kept running. Why did Logan take her away, try so hard to protect her, only to throw it al away? Could it just have been due to a sense of obligation? Obligation to her, for getting her into the entire mess? Did it mean he was always planning to leave as soon as he thought he had sufficiently helped her out of it al ? A pretty mess it was, for her to be in. But despite al that, despite those facts, something inside Laura stil stirred when she thought of Logan. Could she have even known him long enough for that
something
to build up and blossom… into love?

Laura curved hard to the right, fol owing Alexander’s path. The ground became more rocky, but less solid. It felt like it should be more difficult to be able to balance yourself, but Laura managed it without problem.

So. Now she was with Alexander, and had Gray by her side. Alexander was like… a father. Or maybe an older brother. That’s the way he spoke to her, and that’s the way he looked at her. He had given her advice, when she needed it, and stuck with her when Logan would not. Logan, who she thought at one point would be by her side forever. It was a stupid, naïve thought, of course.

She ran, a little faster as Alexander picked up speed. The trees were less dense, here, and it made for an easier run.

Laura wondered what the place they were going would hold. She wondered what they would find there. Alexander seemed to think it was something big. And he had been there before. Together with Rafael, he said. But if there real y were secrets to be uncovered there, why wouldn’t more people – err, more of the
Vassiz
, she meant – try to get there already? Maybe they just didn’t know about it?

A smal creek ran beside them, and Gray lapped through it happily as he trailed them. Alexander looked back, to make sure Laura wasn’t too far behind, and when he was satisfied that she wasn’t, continued to lead.

She wondered what Rafael’s fate real y was. She hoped he survived, but despite Alexander’s conviction he had, she wasn’t so sure. Alexander seemed to be unshaken by the news of what happened, and had that unflappable belief believed Rafael survived. Then again, so did Madison. Laura ran, enjoying the feeling of the wind in her hair, and the feeling of being absolutely connected to nature. The air was pristine, and the only sounds she could hear were Gray’s footsteps and the odd birds singing in the distance.

What Rafael had done for her had been nothing less than a sacrifice. He sacrificed himself completely for her to survive. Her and
Logan
, actual y. She felt indebted to him for that, but knew she could never pay it back.

A wild fox appeared beside them, running alongside Laura. Laura surprised herself by noticing it – it blended extraordinarily wel with the surroundings. Gray barked at it, and it ran off. Something didn’t make sense in Laura’s mind. She had avoided thinking about it so far, but… why had Logan shown her the world of dreams if he knew it was forbidden? If he knew it would get him in trouble, and if he knew it was breaking the creed, how did doing it make any sense? He
had
been surprised that they were noticed, but if it was real y such a crime, would he have taken that chance in the first place?

Up ahead, Alexander laughed and picked up speed. Laura kept up easily. She was zipping amongst the trees, now, and racing through the wild tangles of the forest with nary a stumble. She felt surefooted, and graceful.

A sudden pang of guilt overtook Laura by surprise. Al this while, she realized she had avoided thinking about probably the most important thing of al : her family. They were probably worried sick. They didn’t know where she was. They didn’t hear from her since she’d left. The whole community must be searching for her.

And then there were al her friends. This was the longest time she’d gone without seeing any of them. Could she… maybe cal her family to say she was ok? Once they got to Natsuk, or Naksup, or whatever the town was cal ed. It would be her first opportunity to do so since al this began. But then again… deep down, she knew she could never go back. She knew that going back was impossible. A clean break from her former life, as much as it pained her to admit, was probably for the best. She didn’t want to endanger her family
or
her friends by making contact with them. With the
Vassiz
after her, there was no point in risking turning their attention to her old town.

Gray was clambering behind them, and Laura noted he was getting faster, too. And bigger. His silver fur coat was almost ful y in. A little hint of brown, remaining just above the shoulders, gave it graceful elegance. She felt a bond to him already, but he was more than just a pet. Alexander had put it best. A
companion
. Gray listened to her; he knew his name and could behave. Laura wondered what she would do with him later. She shook her head at that thought. What did she mean, “later”? The only choice, real y, since she adopted him, was to care for him… for life. But what kind of life it would be, Laura had no idea. No idea what kind of life it would be for him, or for her.

She ran, and spotted an overturned log up ahead. It was wide, and looked to be precariously balanced between two boulders. She could just go around, but… she felt strong, and more in tune with her body and with what she could do. She jumped…

and nimbly landed on top of the log, running across edge of the without once feeling like she would lose her balance.

She laughed in delight. This reminded her a lot of when she was in the dream with Log— she stopped herself. She didn’t like how her thoughts kept leading back to him. He had left her, after taking her away from her family, after saying that he was

“protecting her.” But now she saw the truth of how much that protection real y offered.

It was better to have never met him. None of this

– any of it! – would be happening were it not for him. It was al so confusing. And crazy. She wanted desperately to push him out of her mind, but she just… couldn’t. She knew she should be angry with him for ripping her away from her life, and then just forgetting her, nearly al alone, in the middle of nowhere… but the anger didn’t come. Al she felt was an emptiness, maybe tinged with a hint of a sadness, at his absence.

Laura shook her head and ran, trailing after Alexander as he paved the away. She was going fast, now, and so was he. Abruptly, she realized that she had been lost in her thoughts. She was going
too
fast. She looked back – and Gray was nowhere to be seen.

“Hold on!” she yel ed out to Alexander, coming to a stop. Alexander turned back, and, seeing that she stopped running, stopped as wel .

“What is it?” he yel ed across to her.

“Gray,” she explained. “We went too fast, and left him behind!”

“Oh.” Alexander was by her side almost instantly. “I must have forgotten myself.”

“I don’t think he’s too far back,” Laura said. “But maybe I should go and find him, just in case he—” she cut off as she caught a dark blur streaking towards her face.

Before she could turn and react to it, Alexander crashed his body into her side, knocking her over. They fel heavily onto Laura’s shoulder, but it was Alexander who cried out in pain.

She looked – and saw a long wooden shaft, maybe as long as her arm, pierced through Alexander’s shoulder. It went straight through, and on the other side was fitted a sharp metal point.
An
arrow
.

Laura’s senses were instantly alert. She looked al around her, searching for movement. Seeing none, she strained her ears – trying to hear anything that would give her attackers away. There was no noise except for Alexander’s labored breathing. Alexander grunted suddenly, and she turned her attention to him – while stil being very alert for anything else that might come from the forest around them. He had broken the shaft, and pul ed it out of his shoulder. The part of his shirt right around the wound was stained with blood. Regular, red blood, but it surprised her nonetheless – she thought vampires were strong, and had no idea how the arrow went through.

“Are you ok?” Laura asked anxiously. She was stil looking around her alertly – and nervously.

“I’m fine,” Alexander said with a grimace.

“You’re hurt,” Laura said. “Is it bad?”

“The wound wil heal.” It looked like he should be in great pain, but his voice had become steady.

“How did the arrow go through?”

“I don’t know. But that’s not our biggest worry. The arrow was directed at you.”

Before Laura could speak, she heard movement

behind her. She spun around, instinctively shielding Alexander. What she saw made her wish she never left home.