Destiny's Bride (29 page)

When she didn’t respond, he looked up at the people gathered around for an explanation. No one knew why she suddenly collapsed. With little effort, he scooped up her slender form and hurried away to seek the medicine woman’s help.

“Rain Woman, are you here?”  He stood outside her lodge.  His heartbeat thundered in his ears. “Something has happened to Green Eyes.”

The old grandmother peered out then threw open the flap.

Rain Woman motioned, “Bring her inside and lay her on the bed.”

He placed her on the blankets, sat beside her, and grasped her hand. “Green Eyes, wake up! Please wake up.” He gazed up at Rain Woman. “What has happened to my wife? Please do something.”

Concern crinkled the old woman’s leathery brow as she knelt beside Cecile. The crackling of Rain Woman’s brittle bones evidenced her advanced years. She waved a pungent herb under Green Eyes’ nose. “Breathe deeply, little one.”

Green Eyes blinked and pushed the obnoxious plant aside. She gazed up into their faces with a bewildered look. “What happened?”

She tried to sit. Lone Eagle pushed her back. “You must lie down.”

***

The memory flashed back, sending panic washing over her again.  She sensed the color draining from her face.

“You look like you’ve seen a spirit, my wife,” Lone Eagle said. “What happened to frighten you so?”

She had to explain, but where did she start? Did she really understand what she saw? She started to talk, but her voice choked with emotion. “The buckle... he was wearing the buckle.”

Lone Eagle shook his head. “I do not understand this word ‘buckle.’ What is it?”

Rain Woman nodded, indicating she, too, didn’t recognize the word.

Cecile calmed herself and gathered her thoughts. “When I got to where the crowd stood, I saw a man like me...a white man.”  She lowered her face into her palms. “Oh, how can I explain so that you understand?” She scrunched her eyes shut and fished through her memory.  “Belt…upi yake.”

“Ah ha. A belt is something worn around the waist, right? Like a sash.” Lone Eagle answered.

“That’s right.” She paused for a moment, taking a deep composing breath. “I saw the buckle he wore—the adornment that fastens the ends of the belt together.” Her bottom lip quivered. “It was Walt’s buckle. The one he wore the day we met.”

Lone Eagle’s eyes widened. “Surely this man is not your white husband. He’s nothing more than a scavenger, not fit for someone as beautiful as you.”

“No, he’s not. But how did he get Walt’s buckle? I’d know it anywhere.”

Her husband breathed a sigh of relief and stood. “I’ll try to find out for you. You rest.”

He bent, kissed her on the forehead and then left. Rain Woman helped Cecile sit and gave her a cup of herbal tea to sip while they waited for his return.

***

Bright Star brought Two Clouds to Rain Woman’s lodge to be fed. As her child nursed, Cecile wondered what kept Lone Eagle. Curiosity overwhelmed her but she dared not go anywhere near that disgusting white man again. His ogling stare still burned her flesh.

Rain Woman was one of only a few who knew the story about Cecile’s first husband. Cecile had shared her entire life with the woman who seemed more like a mother than just another friend and knew her story was safe. She looked fondly at the old woman who dozed with her chin resting on her chest. When Lone Eagle entered the lodge, she awoke with a start.  Her wide eyes and wispy white hair looked comical, but there was nothing amusing about Lone Eagle’s stance.

His hard set jaw showed stifled anger. “The man has left the village.”

Cecile was reluctant to press her husband for information.

He helped her to her feet. “Let us discuss this in private.”

Leaving Two Clouds in Rain Woman’s care, they returned to their lodge. Cecile was still shaking, fearing the news she might have to face.

***

Lone Eagle’s emotions ran high. Unsure of what he felt, he had to tell Green Eyes what he had learned. While she sat, he paced, pondering how much he wanted to share. His heart pounded each time he started to speak.  What he said to his wife could change his life forever.

“Lone Eagle, please, please tell me what’s wrong,” she begged. “I can’t stand not knowing another minute.”

He wanted to change the story, but telling the truth was the honorable thing to do.  He cleared the clumping nervousness from this throat. “If I could choose, I wouldn’t tell you because when you know, you must make a decision.” He took a deep breath. “This man is called Trader Luke. I tried to barter my hunting knife for the buckle, but he refused. He said it was special to him. When I asked where he got it, he said it was a gift from a man he helped.”

“Did he say who the man was?”

“He didn’t remember, but he told me he came across a man on the prairie who was badly injured. Luke tended to him until the stranger was strong enough to travel, then took him to a doctor in a town called Castroville.”

Green Eyes gasped, holding her chest as if the sudden inhalation pained her.

“The man gave the buckle to Trader Luke in gratitude for saving his life.”

***

Cecile released her pent-up breath.  Could Walt still be alive? She’d become the wife of another whom she loved dearly, and now she was hearing it was possible Walt survived. She didn’t know what to say to Lone Eagle.  She stood and crossed to her husband. Looking up into his pained expression, she grasped his hand. “Maybe he’s wrong. Maybe it wasn’t Walt.”  She rubbed her brow. “Oh, I’m so confused.”  She wanted Walt to be alive, but...

Lone Eagle gathered her into his arms and held her as if he feared she would vanish. “My Green Eyes, I do not want to lose you. You are my life.” His voice was thick with emotion.

Tears rimmed her eyes. “I don’t want to lose you either.”

Lone Eagle released her and started to pace. “My heart says to hold you captive, but my head says what you do must be your decision. Trader Luke told me how to travel to this place called Castroville. If you decide to go and find this man called Walt, I will take you there, if that is your wish.”

Her wish? She wished this was all a bad dream and she would wake up.

Her husband pulled her up into his arms. He tilted her chin to access her lips, pressed his mouth against hers in a searing kiss, then turned and left. Had he just bid her goodbye or enticed her to stay?

Cecile felt so alone and confused.

Chapter Thirty-three

The sun had dropped beyond the horizon, and Cecile sat in the darkness of the tepee, trying to assess her feelings. She didn’t have the strength or desire to build a fire.

She thought back to her time with Walt, fleeting though it was, and focused on the fact that Walt was Two Clouds’ true father. Her thoughts bounced back and forth from past to present like the pendulum of the grandfather clock in her parents’ parlor. She reminisced about her folks and what it would be like to see them after all this time. Her dresses, her furniture, Aunt May, civilization... it all flooded her mind.

Her thoughts became so jumbled she couldn’t stand it. She stepped outside, hoping to clear her mind and find some answers. The evening air was warm and the camp quiet. Since she needed to think things through, she was glad no one was around.

Pictures of Walt, with his bright smile, kept invading her mind, only to be replaced by Lone Eagle’s strong and handsome face. She conjured images of all the others in the village she’d come to love: Rain Woman, Singing Sparrow, Broken Feather, and Bright Star. Then there were all the others who had welcomed her into their midst. Tears cascaded down her face. Happy, sad, confused...how could she feel so many emotions at once?

Cecile walked to the riverbank. The aroma of evening meals wafted through the air, and inside the brightly lit lodges she overheard muffled conversation and children laughing.

There really isn’t any difference between Indian and White. She’d found love in both worlds and now she had to choose where she truly belonged. How could God put such a burden on her?

She sat on a cool carpet of grass and dangled her hand in the water. The rising moon cast a beautiful reflection on the rippling waters. She tried to savor the beauty, but a maze of faces kept passing through her mind. Cecile thought about Singing Sparrow, her mother-in-law.

You taught me all the things I needed to know to be a good wife and mother. My own mother just pampered me, but maybe she didn’t know better.

Thoughts of Singing Sparrow brought back the memory of the pride she felt about the parfleche she painstakingly worked on as a gift for Lone Eagle—the intricate beadwork she’d accomplished on her own. She’d never realized she could be so proud of the simple things she learned from these people, nor had she ever had such a deep appreciation for all that surrounded her. Again, her mind shifted to the luxuries of her other life: an indoor pump, furniture, china cups and saucers, doors with locks, windows to look out to see the beauty of the day. Her two worlds were similar, yet vastly different.

The painful fullness of her breasts reminded her Two Clouds must be ready to eat. As she rose from her seat on the riverbank, her decision suddenly became as clear as the star-lit evening sky.

Cecile searched for Lone Eagle. In her heart, she knew she made the right choice. The hard part would be telling him. Her decision would cause great sadness in those she loved, but her prayers for help in deciding had been answered and her destiny was clear in her mind. But why then did her heart ache so?

She saw Lone Eagle coming out of Rain Woman’s tepee with Two Clouds in his arms. She swallowed hard. “Lone Eagle, we need to talk.”  She had trouble getting his name past the emotion lumped in her throat.

The look of dread on his face showed clearly as she took Two Clouds from him and hugged her baby tightly. Her decision was going to affect her little one, too. Still, she felt certain this was the best, and only, decision to make. The silence was deafening as they entered their lodge.

Her husband stumbled in the darkness, making his way to light the fire. Cecile sat on the pallet of furs and nursed her hungry child. Words jumped in and out of her mind as she rephrased a hundred times what she had to say. Flames leapt to life and lit the tepee—the simple home she’d miss so much.

Lone Eagle sat next to her and stroked Two Clouds’ head as he fell asleep. Cecile made sure he was dry, then put him down for the night. Pacing, she tried to put her thoughts into the right words. The tension hung thick in the air.

She and Lone Eagle both began to speak at the same moment. With a motion of his hand, he indicated she should go first. He stood and brushed away the tears that trickled down her cheek.

“Walt was the first love of my life. I had never before known a man in that way, and he showed me what love was truly about. With him I was able to see that there was much more to life than luxury and having everything come easily. I learned to see the beauty in things that at first were ugly.” She reflected on the first day they drove up to his old run-down shack, and how his appreciation for that place became contagious.

She stroked Lone Eagle’s cheek, feeling the rigidity from his clenched teeth and seeing tears brimming in his dark eyes. “But then you came into my life,” she continued. “You taught me even more about appreciating life’s simple things, and with your people I learned to value all God’s creations and the love you all share as one big family. With you, I found a different joy and lasting love. I want that feeling for my child, for our child.”  She lowered her hand and began pacing.

“You mean…?”  His glazed eyes fixed on her.

“This evening, while I sat by the river and enjoyed the peacefulness of the prairie, I realized I have an obligation. I considered Walt dead. In my heart, my love for him was replaced with a love for you. My adoration has grown so much, when I look at you my heart feels like it will explode within my chest. But, I cannot forget Walt and what he meant to me.” 

She stopped and peered up into Lone Eagle’s eyes. “What did ‘my then’ husband think when he came home and found me gone? Surely, he went to my parents—my loving parents. They must all think I’m dead. But I’m not and I cannot forget those people love me, too. I’ve pushed them into the back of my mind for long enough, and I cannot continue to live with myself if I don’t let them know I’m alive and well. I have to go back.”

Cecile sobbed, relieved at having made the decision, but devastated she’d have to abide by it. Controlling her tears, she gazed up into the face she loved with all her heart. “I’m so sorry, Lone Eagle. Please understand.” She hiccupped in between words.

Lone Eagle pulled her close and petted her like a helpless, wounded animal. “Although my heart is breaking at the thought of losing you, I do understand. You are a woman of honor and I respect your decision.” His soothing words of love and consolation calmed her but did nothing to ease her pain.

They spent the remainder of the night discussing plans for the trip to Castroville. Lone Eagle looked sadder than Cecile had ever seen him look. Not even when Two Clouds was missing had such anguish and pain shown on his face. Through tear-filled eyes, she gazed at her sleeping son and knew she was doing the right thing. Sioux life was his true destiny. Even though he was still young enough to learn the language and ways of the whites, it pained her to take him away from those who helped bring him into the world and loved him as their own.