Authors: Catherine Coulter
“I feel as though I am dying.” He lifted his fingers an instant and she cried out as though in pain. She felt her body as liquid, molten sensation, and when he began to caress and stroke her again, she could not control the shimmering surges of pleasure that ripped through her. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, tangled in his thick hair. Then she was beyond herself.
Kamal felt the intensity of her climax, and he kissed her, smothering her cries of pleasure in his mouth. He raised his head and she arched upward, screaming.
“Arabella,” he whispered. “I can’t wait any longer.” He thrust his finger deeply into her, easing her for his entrance. She was so tight, so very small. He felt her muscles convulse, and he fought for control as he reared over her. He felt her tense at his probing finger,
and realized vaguely that he was hurting her. But that was not possible. Then suddenly his finger butted against her maidenhead.
He froze, all feeling suspended. Very carefully he withdrew his finger and eased himself down on top of her. He cupped her face between his hands. “Arabella, look at me.”
She opened her eyes and he saw her tears.
He drew a deep breath. Many things became clear to him in that instant. She was offering herself to him because of her parents, not because she wanted to pleasure herself with another man. No wonder her fear and embarrassment at seeing him naked, at feeling his man’s body against hers.
He cursed in Arabic, and rolled off her, over onto his back, trying to still the raging need of his body.
“You are a virgin, damn you.”
She smiled sadly at the frustration of his voice. Slowly she placed her hand on his chest and felt the pounding of his heart.
“Don’t touch me, if you wish to remain a virgin.”
Her hand stilled. If he didn’t take her, she would have nothing to bargain with. She had lost her innocence all because he hadn’t believed her. And, she knew, it was too late now; he had shattered her, had plunged her into the depths of feelings that she had never known existed. The unbelievable passion she had felt was fading, but she knew she had given him nothing. His pleasure was found, she assumed, in thrusting himself into her. Slowly, as if she were watching someone else, she stroked her hand down his chest to his belly. She felt him shuddering, felt his eyes upon her face.
“Arabella?”
She knew he was asking her, knew that he wouldn’t force her.
“Please, Kamal.” She leaned over him and kissed him on his mouth. Her fingers found him, and tentatively, innocently, she touched him. The feel of him both alarmed and excited her. A man, so different from her.
He lurched up and tossed her onto her back. She felt her thighs parted, felt him probing against her. She stiffened, waiting for the pain. Suddenly he seemed to gain control of himself. He entered her slowly, then stopped.
“I will try not to hurt you.”
He paused, watching her closely. When her eyes cleared, he gently eased more deeply into her until he was pressing against her maidenhead. “Arabella.” His voice was a sharp command and she looked deep into his eyes.
He thrust forward suddenly, tearing through the thin barrier. She screamed and tried to throw him off her. Her fingernails digging into his arms brought him a measure of reason. “Hush, hold still. We will wait a moment until you become used to me and there is no more pain.”
He closed his eyes, not wanting her to see the naked feelings in his. He felt her arms about his neck and she began to relax beneath him. She had absorbed the sensation of him. Slowly he eased more deeply. She tensed in pain, and he stilled immediately, waiting.
“Do you know how you feel to me, Arabella? How warm you are? How tightly you are holding me inside you?”
“The way I feel—it pleases you?” She moved slightly beneath him, inadvertently drawing him deeper inside her.
“I cannot,” he gasped. He groaned, throwing his
head back, and Arabella felt her body explode in pain as he thrust his full length into her. He was surging inside her, beyond himself. Vaguely, through the pain, she realized that if he felt as she had at the height of her pleasure, he would not, could not stop himself. She hugged him to her, biting her lips to keep the cries to herself. She felt him suddenly tense over her; then she felt him flooding her, filling her with his seed.
His head was beside hers on the pillow. She could feel the fierce pounding of his heart against her breast. The tremors that had shaken his body began to subside and he quieted. It suddenly occured to her that she now understood passion. She felt him raise himself slowly on his elbows and gaze down into her face.
“I’m sorry I hurt you.”
She studied his face. “The first part was nice. But you are so large. I didn’t like the pain.”
“Arabella, the next time I enter you, there will be no pain. All will be pleasure, you will see.”
She read the questions in his eyes, and turned her face inward, against his shoulder. She began shaking at the intimacy they had shared.
“Arabella?”
His voice was gentle, and she felt his hand smoothing back the tangled hair from her face. “You were inside of my body. I never before imagined—”
Surprisingly, he didn’t push her to continue. He moved slowly from her and rose to stand beside the bed. She looked up at him questioningly, and rose to her elbows. His voice stopped her.
“Lie still.”
He brought a soft cloth and a basin of water, and sat down beside her.
“No. You cannot.”
He laughed, a deep, rich sound. “Of course I can. Now, close your mouth and your eyes and lie still.”
She felt the damp cloth move between her thighs, and grew rigid.
Kamal frowned at the splotches of blood smeared on her thighs, remembering her cries of pain. Gently he bathed her, then pressed the wet cloth against her to ease her soreness. He knew he must talk to her, but his eyes traveled over her, and no words came to his mind. Her legs were beautifully shaped, long and straight. He felt himself grow hard again. He leaned over her, unable to help himself, and gently began to caress her.
At the touch of his mouth, Arabella jumped, trying to pull away from him. “You cannot. Please, Kamal.”
He heard the panic in her voice. He drew up to lie beside her. “In time, Arabella,” he said, drawing her against him, “in a little while, I will love you as you are meant to be loved. My mouth will give you greater pleasure than my fingers, and your pleasure, Arabella, gives me pleasure.”
He pressed his fingertips against her lips. “Hush. Sleep now.”
He gently held her against him, stroking his hand down her back to calm her and soothe her. Arabella sighed deeply, and nestled closer to him, unwilling at the moment to question what had happened to her.
A
rabella kept her eyes tightly closed, even as she arched upward to deepen the pressure of his caressing tongue against her breast.
“I know you are awake, Arabella,” she heard him say, laughter lurking in his voice. “Your body won’t let you hide from me any longer.”
“I’m embarrassed,” she said, her eyes still firmly closed.
“I know, but it will pass quickly.” His hand moved over her ribs and waist to knead her belly.
She still fought to hold herself away from him, but his fingers moved lower and she couldn’t swallow the gasp of sharp pleasure.
Her eyes flew open and it took her a few moments to make out his face above hers in the darkness. She knew she should talk to him, make it clear to him that she came to him only because of her parents. She had to bargain with him. She had to—She moaned and she vaguely heard him draw in his breath at the sound.
He moved on top of her, and she felt the heat of him, felt him hard against her closed legs.
She felt his thighs press against hers, easing her legs open, until he lay between them. She knew but a
moment of fear before he drew her with him into a world of raw sensation. She whispered his name, as if to taste the sound of his name on her lips.
She sighed deeply, and he felt her surrender. The sweetness of it made him wild with desire to possess her, to make her cry out his name at the moment of her climax.
When he moved down her body, he felt her tense but a moment, then she was open to him, her hips arching upward to meet his mouth. The softness of her, the heat of her flesh, made him tremble with pleasure. He felt her hands digging into his shoulders, and the innocence of her touch made him slow, taking exquisite care with her so she would know the full sweetness he could give her. He felt her legs stiffen as she neared her release.
He left her, and without pause moved over her and eased himself into her. He pulled her close to him and kissed her deeply. He felt her stretching to hold him, but he could feel no tensing of pain, no resistance in her. Slowly, with extreme care, he pushed his full length into her. He raised himself until his belly was pressed against hers, heightening her pleasure, and he began to move slowly.
“Is there any pain?” he asked, watching the shadows on her face.
Arabella could find no words. She shook her head against his throat, her arms clutching his back. When he eased his hand between them to caress her, her climax was so powerful she thought she would die.
He felt her muscles squeezing him, felt her stiffen beneath him. He let himself take his own pleasure, her cries mixing with his.
“We’re sweating.”
He raised his head to smile into her dazed eyes. “Yes,” he said. Just the sound of her voice made him want her again. He shook his head, wondering at himself. He felt a surge of protectiveness so powerful that he sucked in his breath. “No,” he said.
“No what?”
He started, unaware that he had spoken aloud. He didn’t reply, feeling her sliding away from him into sleep. He rolled onto his back, bringing her with him, and pulled up the light cover over them.
The gentle pink sunlight of dawn flickered into the chamber. Arabella stirred, felt Kamal’s arms tighten about her, and snuggled against him.
But sleep didn’t come again. She breathed in the salty male scent of him, and felt intense satisfaction. Then she realized exactly what she had done, what a fool she’d been. She didn’t know how she would face him in the light of day, seeing in his eyes his triumph over her.
Oddly enough, it wasn’t her offering of herself that brought her shame. Indeed, she felt oddly philosophical about the loss of her virginity. She would do it again, if it would save her parents. No, she thought, it was her own passion, feelings unknown to her until Kamal, that made her want to die of shame. She was a lady; surely a lady wasn’t supposed to feel so
consumed.
Twice she had given herself to him. Twice. He had known her for a virgin. Surely now he had good reason to question the story his mother had told him. She felt him turn more closely against her in his sleep.
Slowly she tried to pull away from him. She felt a nagging soreness between her legs. It occurred to her for the first time that she had lost what her husband—that vague, mysterious man who was somewhere in her future—would expect on their wedding night.
“Arabella?”
Quickly she turned her face away, unable to face him. She felt his warm breath against her temple. “No, do not touch me.”
Kamal came fully awake. He could not recall ever having felt so complete, so very satisfied before, until her voice broke through.
“What is the matter?” His fingers tangled through her hair and gently kneading the back of her neck. He heard her swallow a sob and raised himself on one elbow over her.
“Arabella, look at me.”
She turned her face toward him, and he saw the desolation in her eyes. “I must talk to you,” she said.
He felt a cold knot begin to grow in his belly, and anger at himself, at her, at the miserable situation that had forced them together. He laid his hand lightly on her breast.
“No, you cannot touch me, not again.” She rolled to the side of the wide bed and came up to her knees, drawing the cover upward to cover herself.
“I see,” Kamal said, his voice utterly controlled. “What you mean is that I cannot touch you until I have agreed to your terms.”
Had she been so wretchedly obvious? She got a grip on herself and forced her eyes to his face. It was impassive, and she did not know what was in his mind. “Yes,” she said. “What I did, I did for my parents.
Surely now you cannot carry through your mother’s revenge.”
“Why not?”
She felt the force of his anger, but refused to back down. She raised her chin. “You know that she lied to you, at least about me.”
“Yes,” he said. “You were a virgin. Look at the sheet. It is stained with your virgin’s blood.”
Inadvertently her eyes fell to the dark splotches against the white sheet. “Please,” she said, “you must stop this insane plot.”
“So,” he said finally, sitting up, oblivious to his nakedness, “you sold your body like a common whore.”
Did a common whore feel such pleasure? she wondered blankly. “I wished to bargain with you and I had naught else.”
He understood her, and although he would never admit it, he admired her courage, admired her for the irrevocable step she had taken. Still, to hear her speak so coldly about bargaining with him with her body roused fury in him. “A woman’s weapon. How very naturally you came by your talent.”
“What do you mean?”
“Perhaps,” he said, “my mother was not so very wrong about you, my lady. Perhaps she observed you teasing gentlemen, and came to a not unreasonable conclusion. You showed me great promise, Arabella. In the past, have you allowed the gentlemen who desired you to go only so far? Perhaps caress you and fondle you? Did you play with them, but not allow them to have you?”
“No.” The import of his words infuriated her. “Only one man tried to kiss me before, and I kicked him.”
“But your passion. I could caress you right now and soon, very soon, I know you would yield to me yet again.”
“Damn you, you will not touch me again. I will not allow it. I felt nothing for you, do you hear? Nothing.”
He knew of course that she was lying, but it angered him so that he wanted only to wound her. “So it was all an act?”
“Yes.”
Kamal reached out, grasped her upper arm, and jerked her toward him. “Listen well, Arabella. What I decide to do about your parents has nothing to do with what occurred between us last night. I can have you whenever it pleases me. You are my slave, my high-and-mighty lady, here for my pleasure. If I wished to spread your legs right now, I could do so.”
She threw back her head and said with deadly calm, “If you do, I will fight you. I will not act again to make you feel the marvelous lover.” She felt his fingers tighten painfully on her arm and thought vaguely that she would bear bruises. “Are you such a savage that you must prove to me that you are the stronger?”
He shoved her arm away from him and rose from the bed to stare down at her. “It would appear you are the fool, my lady. How could you expect honor from a savage? Why did you not attempt to seal your bargain before you lost your maidenhead?”
She stared at him dumbly.
“You no longer have anything unusual to offer, Arabella.”
“I was a fool, wasn’t I, ever to believe that I could expect anything from you but an animal’s savagery?”
Kamal turned quickly away from her and rang the bell beside his bed. “When next you decide to use pretense to gain your ends, my lady, take care who your victim is. Not all men are weak fools to be manipulated by a woman.”
Ali appeared in the doorway.
Kamal did not look at her, merely waved his arm toward her. “Assist the lady back to the harem, Ali, though I doubt she can successfully use her wiles on Raj.”
God, what a fool she had been. All for naught—all for naught. She pulled the sheet around her and rose from the bed.
“You will pay for your dishonor, you miserable barbarian.” She ignored Ali’s gasp and marched from Kamal’s chamber, chin high, the white sheet trailing after her.
Kamal threw himself back down on the bed and pillowed his head on his crossed arms. Had she truly expected him to yield to her wishes, besotted by her beauty and her body? He realized that her actions had been clumsily innocent and free of guile. She had not had the experience to bind him to her, to make her demands so that he could gracefully succumb to her. She was a woman of extremes, he thought, and she knew no middle ground. His eyes fell to the bloodstains on the sheet. He had been a fool to take her. Indeed, when he had realized she was a virgin, he had not wanted to harm her. It had been she who had seduced him, all for her own ends. He dismissed from his mind his own
angry words hurled at her, and slowly allowed his fury at her to build as he remembered her insults.
Lella found Arabella curled up like a hurt child on her narrow bed. She knew, as did every other woman in Kamal’s harem, that Arabella had spent the night in Kamal’s bed. She had also heard of her return just after dawn, not in Kamal’s company, but in Ali’s.
“It gained you nothing,” she said.
“No,” she said finally, still burrowed against the wall, “it gained me less than nothing.”
“So what will you do? Stay hidden from the world and mourn the loss of your virginity? That is a coward’s way.”
Arabella turned slowly, stung by Lella’s harsh words. “I would that you leave me alone,” she said dully.
“Why? So you can sulk in private? How, Arabella, could you have been such a fool?”
Tears glistened in Arabella’s eyes, and she angrily dashed them away with the back of her hand. “I was a woman—he made me so, and thus, I suppose, a fool. A weak, pliable fool until morning brought me reason. Then it was too late and I had not the talent to bargain with him.”
“I gather you angered him?”
“I have but to open my mouth and he is angered. I have not the wit, as I said, to pretend, to say honeyed things, and gain my way.”
Lella closed her fingers around Arabella’s hand. “Well, it will do you no good to remain in hiding. Elena is busy proclaiming in that smug way of hers that Kamal was displeased with you. Surely you do
not wish—” Lella broke off. “You startled me, Raj.” She smiled at the eunuch, who stood in the open doorway. “What is the matter? Why do you look so grim?”
Raj drew a deep breath. “His highness,” he said slowly, his eyes upon Arabella, “has decided on his revenge.”
Arabella only stared at him.
“What do you mean, Raj?” Lella asked.
“His highness has ordered me to have all his women present for his inspection. He has informed me that he wishes to select his mate for this night.”
“But he has never done that before,” Lella said, pulling herself clumsily to her feet.
“No,” Raj said slowly, “he hasn’t. I can only assume that what passed between Lady Arabella and him last night has brought this to pass.”
“He is a barbarian,” Arabella said. “It is disgusting.”
“No, it is your punishment, my lady,” Raj said.
“Punishment.” She shot a hard look at Lella. “He is a savage, no matter what you say. I will not be a part of this, Raj. I care not what he does.”
Raj slowly plucked a speck of lint from the wide sleeve of his blue robe. “His highness expected that you would refuse, my lady. He informed me that you would be present, even if I had to have you bound and dragged before him.”
“Does he have the conceit to believe that I care if he selects a woman for his bed as a man would select a mare to ride?”
“I do not know what is in his mind, my lady.”
Lella said gently, “You will not refuse, Arabella. You will face him, but not in bonds.”
“I suppose,” she said finally, her voice infinitely
weary, “that if I do not have honor and pride, I have nothing. If you would excuse me now, I wish to prepare myself.”
Raj wished he could comfort her, say something to ease the pain he saw in her, but he didn’t know what Kamal intended. When Raj had come before him, Kamal had appeared very calm, but his instructions were issued in such a cold voice that Raj could feel his anger hot and thick just beneath the surface. He realized that he didn’t want to know what Arabella had done to evoke such rage in him. He watched her as she ran her fingers through her disheveled hair.