Devious Revenge (17 page)

                                     Chapter 62

Air, I need air. I can’t breathe. I try to scream but no sounds will come out.

Thrashing around, I finally wake from the nightmare I was lost in.

“What the hell!” Screaming a little louder than needed, I look at Drew.

“What the hell are you doing, scaring me like that?” Reaching for the table, I flip the light on.

My heart is racing, but Drew doesn’t look like himself.

“I asked you about the dress. I wanted your opinion on it. That whole time I was asking you about the dress for my cousin, it’s the one she would wear to her funeral. The last dress she would ever have on.” The room spins around me as he speaks.

I start to open my mouth when he throws his hand in the air.

“I talked to Brian. I didn’t say anything, but yesterday I went with him to ID his brother, my cousin. Alan was stabbed multiple times. The strange thing about his body was, the way the stab wounds looked. They looked a lot like Robby’s.” Drew talks in a calmed tone but the devil is right behind his eyes, I can see him.

“I don’t understand.” Drew’s hands are stuffed in his pockets as he looks at me. My heart threatens to explode in my chest with the look I see in his eyes.

“Where’s my knife, Han?” Shaking my head, this isn’t possible.

“WHERE IS MY KNIFE, HANNAH!” Screaming louder, I jump before I reach into the bedside table.

Pulling his knife out, I hold it in my hands. Trying to pass it to him, he shakes his head.

“Look at the blade.” Looking at the blade closely, I see something I didn’t before. The finely carved cut outs along the blade are so minimal that you wouldn’t realize they were there.

“Oh God.” Drew huffs before he moves to take the knife from me.

I look up at him as he holds it in his hands, so lost and confused.

“What I saw on Alan was the same as Robby because someone used the same knife I used to kill Robby with, in turn to kill Alan. They left almost identical wounds. I had this knife custom designed when I came back to the states. I never felt safe anywhere without it.”  His eyes are haunted and unsure.

“I didn’t know. I swear to you I didn’t know that they were your cousins, Drew.” Shaking his head, I climb on my knees pressing my hands to his chest.

“They are the ones that did that to
you
? The other night?” Nodding my head, he swallows hard.

“What happened before that?” I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want to rehash the past to him, but now he has to know. I have no other choice right now.

He knows what happened to me, but he doesn’t know who played what parts. Now I have to replay it all over one last time.

My hands tremble as they lay against his chest.

“Fucking answer me right now! WHAT HAPPENED!”

                                  Chapter 63

“Lisa was a friend of mine. She was the only friend I had. She was so distant and gone that day. She asked me to go hang out and I said I would. We went to their house so we could change and get ready but when I got there, Brian and Alan were waiting for us.

Lisa helped hold me down while Brian raped me first. They took turns. Hands, fists, any object that was near them. They beat me with anything, and everything. I lay on their floor passed out for a full day. No one cared, they walked around me like I was a piece of trash.

I tried to live with it all but it was so hard. They labeled me the town whore and that’s who I’ve been ever since. I couldn’t get a job anywhere growing up. Everyone looked at me in disgust. My mom turned into a junkie, my sister was all I had.

When I got older, I started thinking about it all. I decided that if my life was ruined, then theirs should be too. I started working at the bar since they already knew who and what I was. I got back in with them in a way. I made them put at least a little trust in me, then I started planning.” Drew doesn’t move, but the muscle in his jaw clenches and jumps.

His hands hang at his sides before he steps back out of my reach. I can see his muscle’s corded so tightly. He’s going to lose it, but with who?

I let my arms fall to my sides as I watch him pace the room.

“They raped you. They beat you.” Nodding my head, I want to crawl in a hole and die. The look on his face, is killing me inside.

“I was a virgin before that. I didn’t want any of that.” Tears spill down my face as I let the emotions of what happened out all at once.

“You started cutting yourself to ease the pain?” Looking me in the eyes, I want to run to him. I want to throw myself into him and never let go.

“No. I didn’t feel anything after that. Nothing made me feel. I lost my heart and soul that day. I just wanted to be able to feel something, and the cutting made me feel. I’ve become so numb that even that doesn’t work anymore. I’m dead, Drew. The only time I feel alive is when I’m with you.” Drew watches me intently.

The whole horror of my life has been put on display for him. Every last detail has been laid out.

His face is a blank mask. There are no signs of understanding in those eyes of his, there is nothing.

“You killed them. One by one, you single handedly took their lives. Brian’s next?” Looking down, I can’t bear to see his face. The hurt, the confusion, it’s all too much for me.

I don’t look up but I can hear him moving closer to me. His hand gently brushes over my cheek before gripping my chin roughly, yanking it toward him.

When our eyes lock, my heart stops.

“Is Brian the next
one
?” Surprised at how calm his tone is, I nod my head.

“Do you know the deal I made with him?” Shaking my head, I have no idea what kind of deal they made.

“He asked me to help him find whoever is after our family. He asked me to track them down, and make them pay for what they’ve done.” A sob clogs my throat as he speaks.

“I told him,
no
, I promised him I would do just that. I’ve never broken a promise before, Han.”

                                     Chapter 64

I sit, dead still. I can’t move or breathe. His words hang in the air but his hand never leaves my face.

In the matter of seconds, I’ve realized just the kind of person I’m up against.

Drew is like me. He takes a life and has no regrets for doing it. I’m facing the mirror image of myself right now.

“What do we do
now
?” Forcing the words to leave my mouth was harder than I thought it would be.

“What do we do
now
?” Repeating what I said, his eyes flicker with fire.

For the first time in a long time, the fear I feel is real. The pit of my stomach knows that things are going to go south but how quickly is the question.

“If it came down to it, do you think you could kill me, Han?” Oh God. I never thought that one question could evoke so much fear.

The question is real. Could I kill him if it came down to that? In my mind I’d like to say I could, but the heart that’s been broken for so long, says I can’t.

“No.” One single word.

Drew’s eyes fill with tears but he tries to blink them away. He didn’t expect me to say that. He thought I was a killer all the way around but Drew isn’t like them.

“Look at me, Han. If it comes down to it, you kill me. Understand?” Shaking my head, I can’t, I won’t.

“No. I don’t care if you kill me first. I won’t kill you, Drew.” Releasing my face, he takes a step back running his hand through his hair.

“You don’t understand the kind of monster I am. If I lose myself, if I break and I will break one day, Han. You need to make me a promise, too. Promise me that if I break, you will kill me.” What is he even saying?

I’m so confused, but I know right now, that I won’t do it.

“I can’t promise you that, Drew.” He lets out a roar. So loud and fierce. It rips through the room before he slams his fist through the wall.

Climbing off the bed, I place my hands on his back. He feels as though he’s vibrating from the inside out.

“Why can’t you understand what I feel?” Crying as I speak, Drew turns to face me.

His eyes are wild, feral even. Gripping my face in his hands so gently, I try to lose myself in his warmth but to no avail.

“I understand what you feel. I feel it too. When I came home from overseas no one wanted me. I was ruined. I sheltered my heart from anyone that I thought could hurt it until I met
you
. I’ve broken every promise I’ve made to myself. In the end, death is all around us. I’m telling you now, that if it comes down to it, YOU KILL ME.” Drew leans in pressing his lips to mine.

So much pain floods me from his kiss. He’s so hurt and damaged.

Pulling away quickly, he looks around the room.

“Sleep in something sexy for me tonight.” With that, he turns and walks out of my room.

                                       Chapter 65

I lie in bed with my favorite black lingerie that I had planned to wear for Drew.

I knew he wasn’t coming back for me but the way he asked me to wear something sexy tugged at my heart.

For so long, I didn’t know what it felt like to have my heart beat for someone. Drew slowly changed all of that, and now I’m losing him.

Sleep doesn’t find me easily. When it does its visions of Drew that I see.

A smile draws across my face as I picture him standing behind me. The same dark mysterious look on his flawless face.

The twinkle of mischief in his eyes sends my heart soaring.

My life has come down to this now. I never saw it coming, and I don’t have a plan for it.

Brian was the last one on my list but how the hell do I add Drew into equation? He’s clearly not going anywhere, and if he made a promise, he wants to keep it.

With my eyes tightly closed, I can see my father as he walked down the driveway the day he left. All of a sudden, I wonder if he thinks about us. If he ever thought about how we were.

Reality can slam into you at times, this is one of them.

He never cared about us. If he did, he wouldn’t have left.

I find myself remembering my mom, too. The way her hair used to blow in the breeze when we would play outside. The smile that used to adorn her beautiful face before the drugs took over her.

She was a magnificent woman at one time in her life. Sadness ate away at her until she had nothing more to turn to.

I could blame my dad’s leaving for all the bad that’s happened to us in our lives, but that wouldn’t be fair.

I’ve created my own darkness and now I’m forced to live within it. As hard as it seems, in honesty, I’ve lived in it for years.

I’m the keeper of my own truth and if this life has taught me anything, it’s that the truth only needs to lie within yourself.

As I will myself to sleep, those visions of Drew return.

We were so close to being happy together.