Devoted (11 page)

CHAPTER 25

Bella

I have known fear. I’ve seen it up close and personal. Even experienced the torture firsthand. It can be debilitating and downright terrifying, but fear can’t destroy you, unless you allow it to.

Struggling against my restraints, I pull myself upright, my gaze falling on that of my mother. She is alone, seated at the small table centered in the room, staring out into nothingness.

A mother is many things. She gives you life and from that point on, you are the center of her universe. She nurtures, teaches you, and fights for you when everyone else has given up. Above all else, she loves you unconditionally.

Then the fantasy drifts away, leaving behind the cold, hard truth.

“Did you ever want me?” I ask in a raspy voice, the drugs she slipped me still coursing through my system. I need to keep her talking, prolong this for as long as possible, to bide myself more time.

When she turns, there is turmoil etching her face. “I wanted you from the moment I found out I was pregnant,” she whispers.

“I don’t understand,” I manage to choke out, tears filling my eyes. I want desperately to believe her, but actions speak louder than words. “You wanted me and then suddenly you didn’t?”

“It’s not that simple Bella,” she breathes, lowering her head.

“Then explain it to me!” I demand.

“You were never meant to be born!” she shouts, her eyes widening even as the words escape her lips. She draws in a deep breath and slowly releases it before she continues. “I was supposed to have an abortion.”

Her admission knocks the wind out of me even though I expected it.

“But I couldn’t go through with it. I just knew that if I gave Flame some time, he’d be as happy about you as I was. So I waited…” her voice cracks as she speaks, but it is the single tear that trails down her cheek that has me mesmerized, giving me a glimmer of hope that somehow we were all wrong about her. “If I hadn’t waited, Flame wouldn’t have gone to prison.”

“So you blame me?” There’s no disguising the disbelief and torment in my voice.

“No,” she shakes her head vehemently. “I blame myself.”

“Then why would you let him do this to me?”

“Because I love him,” she admits, looking away from me.

“You love him?” I seethe. “But I’m your fuckin’ daughter! Your flesh and blood!”

“Don’t you think I know that!” she snaps. Lifting her cold eyes to meet mine, I’m finally seeing the monster that has always resided there. “I need him, Bella! Maybe one day you’ll understand.”

“Oh I understand,” I rage, putting aside the hurt and allowing my anger to take hold. “It’s you who doesn’t understand! Do you have any idea what will happen to me the moment I leave this room?”

She says nothing, her eyes showing no remorse or pain for what she is putting me through.

“You do know,” I whisper, my bottom lip trembling. “You just don’t care.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” she says as she stands and heads for the door. “I do care. Just not about you,” she whispers before stepping out into the darkness, leaving me alone to absorb her words.

Inhaling sharply, I lean against the unforgiving brick wall, every single childhood moment spent with my mother becoming nothing more than a painful memory.

Just as quickly as the pain surfaces, it vanishes, being replaced by hatred and fury – all of it aimed at her.

CHAPTER 26

Blake

Slowly I release the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding when I catch sight of Shadow out of the corner of my eye. He is barely recognizable, dressed in a dark blue sport coat and matching pants, looking more like a businessman than a biker.

As he climbs the stairs, the front door to the abandoned mill suddenly opens and Flame steps out. Almost instinctively, I reach for my piece.

“Don’t be a fool,” dad whispers from behind me.

Clenching my teeth tightly together, I hesitantly release the hold on my pistol. Peering over my shoulder, I look at him in disbelief. “I could end this right now.”

“Or you could start a war. We don’t know what we’re dealing with yet,” he says in a hushed tone.

Letting out a defeated sigh, I nod and drop my hands to my side. My eyes remain locked on Shadow and Flame until they both disappear inside the decrepit building. “Now what are we supposed to do?”

“Now we wait,” he shrugs before dragging two crates up to the window and taking a seat on one.

Shaking my head, I return my focus to the task at hand. I asked to be a part of this and now I’m second guessing my decision. We should be making a move, not hiding in the shadows. “For what?” I mumble, not attempting to hide my frustration.

“What did you think was gonna happen? That we were gonna go in guns blazing like in some fucked up movie? This is real life shit, Blake. You want to get Bella out safe, then you have to be patient.”

“If it were Mom in there you wouldn’t be sittin’ on your ass,” I mutter under my breath, but my words don’t go unheard.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he murmurs, a blank expression on his face. “Careless mistakes cost lives. I fucked up once and learned my lesson. Won’t make that fuckin’ mistake again.”

“You’re talking about Mom?” I ask, taking a seat beside him.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Me taking out the Condemned Warriors was the right decision. The way I went about it wasn’t,” he begins, a grim look on his face. “I didn’t leave you and your Mom by choice. I fucked up and had to make the hardest decision of my life. And I did, because I had to protect you both.”

I think back to the day my father returned. After believing my father had died when I was a baby, I never asked any questions when he walked back into my life. I was just grateful to have him there. I can vaguely remember him telling me he had left to protect us and the club, but not much more.

“They put a hit out,” he continues. “On me… the club… and everything precious to me. As long as I was in the picture, everyone I cared for was in danger.”

“So you left?”

“No. Me leaving wasn’t enough. I had to die,” he whispers, lowering his head as he speaks. “And I planned on doing just that to protect your mom.”

“You were gonna off yourself?” I ask in disbelief.

“That wouldn’t have been enough. I had to suffer, so that was what I was gonna do. But if Tank found out, he would’ve waged a war against them. I couldn’t let that happen. This was on my shoulders, not his. My brother, Drake…” He pauses, lifting his eyes to meet mine and within them I see nothing but pain. “We traded places.”

“What?” I breathe, not understanding what he’s telling me.

“Me and Drake were identical in almost every way. It was the perfect plan. He was a recluse and wanted to stay that way, so no one had ever met him. The plan was that he’d just step into my shoes for a few short months. But then Drake got diagnosed. Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, stage four.” He exhales sharply, tears forming in his eyes. “I thought if I told your Mom I was sick, she’d get scared and run. But that’s not how it went down. The night I was gonna tell her, she told me she was pregnant with you and I about lost it. How could I leave the only woman I’ve ever loved when she needed me the most? So I did the only thing I could.”

Swallowing hard, I stare in disbelief at the single tear that trails down his cheek. He didn’t just walk away from her. He made her watch him suffer, or at least that’s how she probably saw it.

“I told her I was dying,” he whispers, not attempting to hide the emotions that consume him. “I didn’t know any other way.”

“Why didn’t you just take them out?”

“I did. It just took time.”

Shaking my head, I try to wrap my mind around everything he’s said. “Why didn’t you just tell her? You could’ve saved her and everyone else a lot of heartache.”

“Your mom is a lot of things, but a good actress isn’t one of them. She had to believe I was gone for it to work. And I was leaving her in good hands. I knew Shadow would be there for her and he was.”

“But we left Rockingham,” I point out the obvious.

“I watched her for months after Drake died, but I couldn’t keep tormenting myself. Every time I saw her, I was reminded of what I’d lost. I couldn’t keep torturing myself every single goddamn day.” I can see the torment in his expression. Leaving her still kills him to this very day. “But then one phone call changed everything and brought us back together.”

“Brandy.” It’s a name I will never forget. Shadow’s ex-wife had put a hit out on my mother. I was young at the time and not privy to that information, but when you spend enough time around the compound, you overhear things you shouldn’t. Brandy was a vile woman who took great pleasure in tormenting both my mother and sister.

“Yes,” he murmurs as he looks away, his eyes zoning in on the old mill across the street. “Don’t you see? I won’t let you fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to you like I almost did.”

“I get what you’re saying Dad, but this isn’t the same. I’m not leaving Bella, I’m trying to save her.”

“I didn’t think about the repercussions of my actions and that’s exactly what you’re doing. Barging in there not knowing what lies behind those doors could be a death sentence, for Bella or you. The decisions you make in this moment could destroy your future without you even realizing it. You have to trust me on this.”

Reluctantly I nod my head and turn my focus to the seemingly abandoned building across the street praying that I’m making the right decision.

CHAPTER 27

Bella

My eyes widen when the door opens, the fragile wood splintering on impact with the wall behind it. Flame steps into the doorway, a smug look on his face, but my eyes are drawn to the man standing behind him.

“Well, whataya think?”

I don’t even flinch as my eyes lock with Shadow’s. It takes everything I have not burst into tears. They came for me, just like they promised.

Shadow takes a step closer, looking down at me with a creased brow. “I’ll take her.”

“No can do,” Flame chuckles. “Money’s already exchanged hands and the buyer’ll be here within the hour.”

Narrowing his eyes, Shadow turns to face Flame. “Then why did you waste my fuckin’ time?” he spews, looming over Flame.

“It’s not a waste of time if we can work something else out. If you like what you see here, you’re gonna love what I have in the next room.” With a broad smile on his lips, Flame crosses the room and opens an adjacent door, disappearing behind it.

I say nothing, not wanting to give anything away. Looking up at Shadow with tear filled eyes, I silently thank him for doing this for me. He gives me a reassuring nod before turning his attention towards the door Flame left ajar, his brow furrowing at the whimpers coming from behind it.

“Please…”

My breathing catches at the sound of that voice, my eyes filling with tears when I see Flame reappear. “No,” I whisper, shaking my head in disbelief as he reappears, my mother at his side.

“I think you’ll be much happier with this one. Cherry still intact.” Tears spill from my eyes as I watch him shove the girl in front of him. She is terrified, trembling with unbridled fear as she falls to the ground. Just as Flame rips the blindfold from the young girl’s face, my eyes lock onto Shadow as she cries out, a mixture of pain and terror etching his face.

“Daddy?” Bethany sobs, looking up at her father.

I draw in a deep breath and hold it, my heart pounding in my chest, as Flame pulls out his piece and aims it at Shadow. “You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me,” he seethes, staring down Shadow like the madman he truly is.

When Shadow lifts his eyes, I can see nothing but fury within them. I try in vain to release myself from the ropes that bind my hands behind me, but the cord is bound too tight. I can feel my skin peeling away as I struggle to free myself, the need to help Bethany overpowering the pain I feel.

“You son of a bitch!” Shadow spits.

On the silver screen, scenes like this play out in slow motion. The good guy lunges towards the villain, knocking the gun from his hand. There is a struggle as they both reach for the gun, but in the end, the good guy always prevails. But this isn’t a movie. This is real life.

In the blink of an eye, Shadow lurches towards Flame and before I can even process what’s happening, I hear the gunshot ring out, echoing in the room. Bethany screams out in horror as she watches her father fall to the ground, gripping his chest tightly, blood seeping between his fingers.

And then there’s me, sitting there watching in disbelief, not wanting to believe everything I’ve just witnessed.

I will not cry,
I tell myself as I resume pulling against the restraints. Refusing to look at Shadow, I focus on Bethany’s uncontrollable sobs, the sound ripping apart my soul.

“Get her outta here!” Flame shouts, motioning towards Bethany.

My mother does as she’s told, gripping Bethany by the arm and pulling her to her feet and quickly ushering her from the room.

When we are alone, only then do I speak. “You just started a war,” I mutter, narrowing my eyes at Flame. “A war you’ll never win.”

“Shut the fuck up!” he spews, looking down at Shadow’s unmoving body. He swiftly kicks him in the side before rushing towards me with a look of pure hatred on his face. “You know him! Who is he?”

A smile threatens to form on my lips at the thought of what they will do to him. I’m not the naïve girl I once was. I know exactly what will happen to him and my mother, and I feel absolutely no sympathy for either of them. “You mean you don’t know?” I smirk, enjoying this moment far more than I should. “I told you, you started a war.”

It takes a moment for my words to sink in. “Rebel,” he whispers, his face turning ashen.

“What are we doing with him?” my mother asks as she reenters the room. There’s not an ounce of remorse written on her face as she looks down at Shadow’s seemingly lifeless body.

“You stupid fuckin’ bitch!” Flame roars, his fist connecting with my mother’s cheek. She cries out in pain as she collides with the floor, staring up at Flame in terror. “You brought a fuckin’ Rebel’s daughter here?!”

Turning his back on her, he quickly pulls out his knife and stalks towards me. Squeezing my eyes shut, I pray for a quick and painless end. Only when I feel Flame’s hand grasping my arm tightly do I realize he has cut me free. Jerking me to my feet, he drags me into the adjacent room, tossing me onto the floor beside Bethany.

As I lift myself up, my eyes lock onto the door just as it splinters open. There is a moment of peace when I see Blake charging forward, but it quickly dissipates when I feel the cold barrel of Flame’s pistol pressing tightly against my temple.

This is how it all will end
. I have no regrets. I have accomplished more in my life than I ever thought possible. Against all odds, I got out of hell, became part of a real family and found true love. All good things must come to an end. I just never expected it to end so soon.

Closing my eyes, I let out a ragged breath, waiting for the inevitable.