Diary of a Nerd King #2: The Complete 2nd Season - Episodes 1 to 8 (9 page)

The panic started to get worse.  These things can ruin your life!  If people see you with one of these, you can get stuck on the zit face list forever and ever! 

Once you’re on the zit face list, nobody talks to you anymore except a few of the other kids on the zit face list.  I feel sorry for them, but it’s like a total rule.  Somebody even told me that if you talk to someone on the zit face list, you’ll catch a zit from them and end up on the list yourself!

I started racking my brain to try and remember if I’d accidentally talked to somebody on the zit face list, but I couldn’t think of a single person. 

Why, oh why, was this happening to me?

I looked at the MONSTER in the mirror again and tried to think of the best way to deal with it.  My first impulse was to squeeze it, but everybody says that can make it worse.  It’s like you make them angry by squeezing them so they grow even bigger and redder.

OK, so squeezing it probably wasn’t a good idea.  What about toothpaste? 

I’d heard you could put toothpaste on them.  I know that sounds kinda weird, but apparently the toothpaste dries out on your skin, and when it does, it dries out the zit too, shrinking it and taking the red out in the process. 

I couldn’t think of anything else to try, so it was worth a shot.  Our toothpaste is mint flavor with tartar control.  As I squeezed a swirl onto my finger, I hoped the MONSTER liked mint.  I sure didn’t need him getting any bigger!

I held my breath and carefully dabbed the toothpaste onto the MONSTER, taking care to do it very gently so I didn’t make him mad.

It felt kinda funny at first.  The toothpaste was cool on my forehead, and I could smell the mint. 

I watched in the mirror, half-expecting the MONSTER to swell up and take over my whole forehead, but nothing happened. 

I wasn’t sure how long you’re supposed to leave the toothpaste on, but I figured I’d better leave it there at least until it dried out. 

Then I had a sudden thought.  I’d been in the bathroom for a while now.  What if Tabi wanted in to do her hair and other girl stuff to get ready for school?

I couldn’t let her see me like this!  She spread the word for sure and make certain I got on the zit face list!!!

I listened carefully at the door to see if I could hear her.  Nothing.  After a few seconds, I quietly inched the door opened, and seeing the hallway was clear, I dashed back to my room where I ran into my closet, shut the door, and slunk down into the corner.

I’m not sure how long I sat in there, but I know one thing, I’m either going throw out all my old sneakers or ask Mom to wash them.  With the closet door closed, the smell was so strong that I almost passed out!

I finally heard Tabi yell good-bye to Mom and then the sound of the front door closing, so I was pretty sure it was safe to come out. 

I opened the door to the closet and paused to take a big breath of fresh air before heading back into the bathroom to see if the MONSTER had shrunk at all.

Looking in the mirror, it was hard to tell because the MONSTER was hidden underneath the toothpaste.  Since the toothpaste looked pretty dried out, I decided to carefully wipe it off and see if my zit was still there, and sure enough, once I wiped off the toothpaste, the MONSTER was right there staring at me.

It did look a bit smaller though, and maybe not so red, so that was something anyways.  I decided I’d put a bit more toothpaste on it and then stick a bandage over top.  I couldn’t go to school with a zit on my forehead, and Mom wasn’t likely to let me stay home, so it seemed like the best option.

I figured as long as nobody found out I have under the bandage, I’d be fine.  Band-aids are no problem as far being cool goes.  In fact, having a bandage on is almost a positive thing, almost like having a really cool scar, but maybe not quite as good as that. 

(If you don’t know who Rambo is, you should really get the movie!  He was this wicked awesome special forces military guy who could take on thousands of bad guys at one time all by himself!)

I had to run all the way to school so I wasn’t late, and I knew Boogie was probably going to be mad at me for not showing up to walk to school with him.  Oh well.  It wasn’t like I had actually planned to adopt a MONSTER and let it live on my forehead!

I made it to school, got to my locker, and slid into my seat in first period with about 3 seconds to spare, but I was so out of breath from all that running that my breathing didn’t return to normal for another 10 minutes or so.