Diary of a Nerd King #2: The Complete 2nd Season - Episodes 1 to 8 (11 page)

While I can see his point, he doesn’t have a girlfriend and I do, so he doesn’t really have any experience in understanding women.  Then again, I have a girlfriend, and I still don’t understand women any better than I did before I had one, so maybe he’s right after all.  Who knows?

Thursday

Glee club started today. 

I was pretty nervous about it all day at school.  I kept thinking about my dream of me being a girl and singing a duet with Jordan, and I was worried that somehow somebody at Glee club was going to find out.    

It turned out OK though.  Since it was the first meeting, we didn’t even have to sing, so that was a bonus.  Mostly Ms. Winsome just talked to us about how we were going to do things and stuff like that.

I think it’s going to be pretty fun after all.  Ms. Winsome is so cool that it’s hard not to have fun when she’s in charge.  She’s really pretty too.  Maybe not as pretty as Oprah, but then who is?

“Demons, Dollars, and Alien Babies”

Season 2 – Episode 205

Written and Illustrated by

Matt Ballard

© Copyright Matt Ballard 2012

All rights reserved.

http://www.diaryofanerdking.com

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Friday

When I woke up this morning, Monster was gone.  He’d been getting smaller each day, but he was still there last night when I went to bed. 

This morning, nothing.  It’s kinda weird how one minute you can have this big, angry red zit on your forehead, and then boom… you wake up and it’s vanished without a trace.

Where do zits go anyways? 

Do they just move on to the next poor kid and make themselves at home on his or her face? 

Or is there like a zit heaven where good zits go after they’ve done a really good job of being a successful zit?  Do you they only get into zit heaven if they get popped? 

What about zits like mine that get waited out like I did? Do they have to go to the other place? 

Is there a zit hell that’s really hot with fire and flames and a big angry zit monster with horns and a pitchfork that’s in charge?

Wherever they go, I have to say, I’m more than a little bit relieved that Monster is finally gone. 

While I’m pleased with myself for coming up with the band-aid thing and not getting myself put on the zit face list, it’s still a big relief to have my old, zit-less forehead back.  I may lose a bit of my cool status that I got from having a bandage on my head, but it actually probably wasn’t a whole lot anyways, and I’d rather just have no zits.

When I got downstairs and was heading into the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal for breakfast, Tabi was already at the table eating a bowl herself.  She looked up at me and screamed.

It was one of those girlie screams that are really high pitched and make your insides twist a bit like when somebody rakes their nails down a chalkboard. 

I have to admit I jumped a bit when I heard her scream.  I was still half-asleep and totally wasn’t expecting her to scream when she saw me. 

Then I saw it, and a HUGE smile spread across my face as I watched Tabi duck her down and try to hide her face with her hand, but it was too late.  I had seen it.  I now had my answer for where Monster went in the middle of the night.

He must’ve crept down the hall and into Tabi’s room, because there he was, smack dab in the middle of Tabi’s forehead, looking just as red and angry as ever.  Maybe even redder and angrier if that was actually possible. 

Tabi brushed by me as she fled out of the kitchen and raced back upstairs.  I heard the bathroom door slam as I got myself a bowl out of the cupboard and sat down at the table to pour some cereal. 

I think this is what Mrs. Fizzerwinch means in English class when she says something that happens is poetic justice.  If Tabi had known I had a zit, she would’ve gleefully blabbed it all over the school and made sure I got on the zit face list.  Now, not only does she have a zit, but it’s the very same one that I had! 

Now that I think about it, I can’t remember if that’s actually poetic justice or irony.  I get the two confused a lot, like a lot of other complicated terms that Mrs. Fizzerwinch uses that have no practical use in the real world.  Either way, it sure is funny!

Thinking about poetic justice just made me remember a funny Simpsons episode.  I think it was called "Boy Scoutz N the Hood." 

Bart comes home from a Junior Campers meeting, and Homer asks him "How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs?"

Then the chair that Homer is sitting on breaks and he falls on the floor and yells "D'oh! Stupid poetic justice."  LOL!  It’s a classic!  I should tell Mrs. Fizzerwinch about it next time she brings up poetic justice.

On the way to school, Boogie and I talked some more about our YouTube show and the next video we were gonna do.  I don’t remember a lot of the conversation because I had a sudden thought about the whole zit thing that I was debating in my head all the way to school.

I have to admit, when I first saw Monster perched angrily on Tabi’s forehead this morning, I was planning on doing exactly what she would’ve done to me… tell everyone I knew about it and get her on the zit face list.

But as I was meeting up with Boogie to walk to school, it occurred to me that maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to do after all.  I mean sure, it would be really satisfying to get Tabi on the zit face list and pay her back for all the stuff she’d done to me lately like the whole Max as a girl drawing on my door thing, but what if my sister being on the zit face list rubbed off on me?