Read Dirty South Drug Wars Online
Authors: Jae Hood
Nana pulled away with a scowl. “Oh, pretty dead. How’s things down at the whorehouse?” Nana quipped with an evil smile, her slightly wrinkled face alight in amusement.
“Everything’s pretty awesome at the whorehouse. Although the weather has been pretty
wet
and
slippery
. It makes for some pretty
long
and
hard
times. Hopefully, everything will
come
together …
in the end
,” Josie said in a serious tone.
They stared at one another, serious expressions on their faces, before they both burst into fits of laughter.
“Why wasn’t I born into a normal family?” I shook my head in disgust, although I couldn’t hide the smile that played on my lips.
Josie laughed and left the room to return to her cake decorating. Her long blonde hair swished from side to side as she walked away.
“Oh, being normal is so overrated,” Nana said. She grabbed a pan and dried it with a clean dishtowel. “And uninteresting. Who wants to be boring and uninteresting? Not me, that’s for sure.”
“I think it’d be nice to know what normal feels like.” I dried my hands after handing her the last pan.
“Honey, you’re my favorite grandchild,” she said in a hushed tone. “You’re smart and you’ll make it far in this life, but you’re too uptight. I also know you don’t read between the lines or take hints very well, so I’m just gonna lay it all on the table. Rue, you need to get laid. And you need to do it soon.”
My cheeks heated up at her words.
Gah!
If only the people in this town knew how Nana Monroe spoke behind closed doors. She certainly wasn’t the ideal Christian woman everyone made her out to be.
“I hear you, Nana,” Josie called over her shoulder from the other room. “You tell all of us we’re your favorite grandchild, so don’t go pulling that crap on Rue. Plus, Rue’s never gonna get laid. She’s waiting on Mr. Right.” She snorted and placed the icing bag on the rack above her head.
“I’m not looking for Mr. Right,” I argued while I followed Nana to where Josie stood washing the confectioners’ sugar from her hands. “And I’m not uptight. I like having fun just as much as anybody.”
Nana and I followed Josie to the cash register where Lucy had just finished with another customer. The woman exited the store and left us to our own devices. I shoved Lucy from the stool and stole her spot. She glared at me, disappeared into the back, and returned with another stool. With her head high, she plopped down on it and ignored the devious smile I shot her.
The bell above the door rang. Brodie trumped in wearing one of his stupid zombie shirts. Today his shirt read “Brains, Nom, Nom, Nom” and had a poorly-drawn picture of a zombie holding gobs of brains in his tattered hands, the vile pink matter oozing from the zombie’s mouth. I shook my head at the mere sight of my cousin.
“Oh, it’s my favorite grandchild!” Nana shuffled around the counter to hug my giant cousin.
She pinched his cheeks and peppered them with kisses. Brodie grinned, eating up the attention as we all groaned. Nana called us a herd of jealous hussies before she plopped down at the small table that held photo albums full of cake photographs. She flipped lazily through pages and pages of cakes we’d decorated over the years.
“What were y’all just talking about?” Brodie asked. “Y’all had these weird expressions on your faces when I walked inside.”
Brodie made his way around the glass display case, pulled it open, and picked up an orange petit four. He removed the wrapper from the bottom and tossed the confection in his mouth, closing his eyes and moaning in pleasure. His thick lashes fluttered dramatically.
“We were just discussing how Rue never gets laid.” Josie laughed. She flinched as I jabbed her in the ribs with my elbow. “I swear we need to find a party out of town. I’m needing a release, if you know what I mean.”
“I do know what you mean.” Brodie grabbed a cookie and licked the icing from the top. “I’m tired of screwing the same five whores.”
“Me too,” I joked, shocking everyone as they stared at me. “Thumbelina and her four sisters.” I wiggled my fingers.
“Ew!” Lucy gagged and shoved me off the stool.
I laughed just as the bell jangled over the door again. We straightened up and gave our new customers dazzling, innocent smiles. Brodie grinned at one of the slightly overweight teenagers, who blushed at his assessment. We all acted like the normal people we weren’t. I bagged cookies for the girls and Lucy rang up their order. They gave Brodie one last red-faced grin. They giggled to one another and vanished through the door. We all visibly relaxed in our own company.
“That’s what I need,” Brodie announced. “I need a thick girl. Thick girls are freaks in the sack. And you know that girl knows how to cook. I’ll be back.”
Brodie trotted out of the store. His smooth, masculine voice hollered out to the two girls down the sidewalk in the old downtown area where our family cake shop was located.
Business picked up somewhat after that. It was a Friday, after all, and one of the busiest days for cake pickups. I busied myself passing out cakes and bagging confections. Customers continued to pour in while the sun set outside.
Lucy kept grumbling and moaning that her creative spirit was crushed by her inability to decorate for a few more days. It was Nana’s idea to punish her for the birthday cake incident, and I was sure she’d learned her lesson for once.
We were closing shop when Josie trotted in from the back room with an evil grin. She grabbed me and pulled me into the bathroom while Lucy had her back turned.
“There’s a party tonight in Birchwood.” She waved her cell phone in indication.
“So? We’re not allowed in Birchwood.” I gave an exaggerated eye-roll and wondered why she was trying to keep this a secret from Lucy.
“Rue, those rules don’t apply anymore.” Josie crossed her arms. “You of all people should know that.”
I raised an eyebrow at her insinuation. “I know they don’t apply.” I tossed my hair over one shoulder, pissed she’d even brought that day up. “But that happened almost two years ago. And no one has seen a Montgomery in Mayhaw since your daddy caught Davis at our house. I’m willing to bet the rest of the Montgomerys don’t even know what went down that day. It’s as if it never even happened. If we cross that bridge and get caught, we’ll start a war.”
“We’re not gonna get caught,” Josie said. “Listen, we won’t tell anyone. It’s just Mandy and Cassie tonight.”
She beamed a toothy, white grin as she said our aliases.
“We’ll sneak out after Lucy goes to sleep. That way you won’t be stuck babysitting her crazy ass at another party,” Josie added. “Doesn’t that sound like fun, Rue? Let’s be someone else tonight. Please? Pretty please?”
Josie knew I’d cave. I always did when she used those sad, puppy dog eyes. With a heavy sigh, I agreed, and she squealed. She grabbed my hands and jumped up and down like a pogo stick. I joined her, looking like a moron, but suddenly extremely excited.
“There’s only one problem,” I whispered. “Lucy never sleeps.”
Josie gave me an evil grin. “Just leave that to me.”
She opened the door and peeked out. After she designated the coast was clear, we shuffled out of the bathroom and tried to avoid a suspicious-looking Lucy who was cleaning the glass display case.
“What’s up?” Lucy threw the damp cloth over one shoulder and propped a hand on her hip. “Why are y’all hiding out in the bathroom?”
“Oh, we weren’t hiding out,” Josie told her breezily as she slid past her. “Rue just had a wart-looking thing she wanted me to look at, for a second opinion and all.”
My face turned red. Lucy barked in laughter.
“Josie’s the one with the wart,” I whispered once Josie rounded the corner, out of earshot.
After an awkward shrug, I passed my sister and followed Josie into the back room. I removed my pink apron and tossed it in the washing machine, right after I smacked her on the back of her stupid, blonde head. Josie chuckled and threw her apron in as well. Nana disappeared through the back door of the bakery, tossing a halfhearted wave at our mutual goodbyes.
“Hey, Lucy. Rue and I were thinking about having a slumber party, like when we were kids. You, me, Rue, and Olivia. What do you think?” Josie asked, her voice loud enough to carry through the shop. She gave me a lopsided, evil grin. Her red lips stretched over her shiny white teeth.
Lucy let out an excited squeal, and she ran into the room and hopped around on the balls of her feet.
I frowned at her enthusiasm and began to close the shop, deadbolting the back door. We walked to the front and flipped off lights. The light pink walls became coated in darkness.
“Yay. I love slumber parties! Oh, let me text Liv right now,” Lucy sang in an annoyingly peppy voice.
I pulled the glass door behind us, dug out my keys, and locked it in place. Lucy tapped away at her phone, furiously texting. The three of us leaned against my Jeep while Lucy talked to Olivia. Streetlights popped on, casting storefront after storefront in a yellow glow.
Downtown Mayhaw was filled with buildings constructed in the early nineteen hundreds. They all were brick, some different colors than others. Most of them were adjoined, but some, like Monroe’s Sweet Confections, had an alley that ran alongside it, which helped with loading cakes into the shop van when deliveries needed to be made.
“Okay, she’s on her way.” Lucy danced in place, swinging her hips. “We need some party refreshments, and I’m not talking about chips and dip, girls.”
“I’ll take care of that.” Josie grinned. “I’ll meet y’all at your house in about an hour. Okay?” Josie directed the last question to me, and I nodded.
We parted ways with Josie. She pulled herself into her maroon pickup truck. A sticker of a buck was spread across the back glass, making it look more fit for a man than a ninety-eight-pound girl. She fired it up, pulled out of her parking space, and peeled down the road.
Lucy and I jumped into the Jeep and drove home. She bounced the entire time, and I twirled a lock of hair around one finger.
After we arrived home, Lucy ran around like crazy. She pulled out bags of chips and flipped through our movie and CD collection. It was sad how excited she was at the prospect of a slumber party, and I wondered how Josie planned on getting us out of this whole mess.
Olivia showed up a few minutes later. She was the same age as Lucy but resembled me more than my own sister did with her waist-length red hair and deep, sea-green eyes. Liv always held a bored expression on her face, making people think she was completely uninterested in the things they said to her. The truth was she was simply high all the time. And that night was no exception.
“What’s up, party people?” Liv yawned and flopped on the couch.
Lucy fluttered around her, ignoring the way Liv halfway glared at her cousin.
“Get off your fat ass and help me pick out a movie.” Lucy grabbed her arm and yanked her from the couch.
Olivia fell off the couch onto her ass, moaning as her bony bottom hit the floor.
“Help me find my nail polish. Let’s paint our nails,” Lucy squealed.
Lucy continued to pull Olivia’s arm, forcing her up the stairway. Josie arrived while they were gone. The pink Monroe’s Sweet Confections shirt had been replaced with a sparkly silver tank. She wore dark-wash skinny jeans and brown leather ankle boots. Her face was a sexy, smoky mess with her long lashes curled and blood-red lipstick perfectly painted on.
“I come bearing gifts,” she whispered.
Josie pulled a baggie from her tank where it had been tucked neatly in her bra. The rolled-up bag unraveled as she held it up. I stared incredulously at the weed.
“Is that Purp?” I asked, shaking my head in shock at the purple-tinged weed.
She grinned and shrugged. “Why, yes, yes it is. A few hits of this and Lucy will pass smooth out. Olivia too, at least after the initial effects wear off. You want some?”
“Uh, negative. I wanna have a good time, not die. I’ll stick with Reggie,” I said. “That stuff’s not gonna hurt Lucy or Olivia, is it?”
“Marijuana never killed anyone.” Josie laughed. “Besides, Lucy and Olivia can eat ten pounds of rat poison
apiece
and it won’t faze them. Sit your simple ass over there, hit the dro, and leave the grown folks’ stuff to me.”
She lowered herself in front of the coffee table, crossing her legs underneath her as she began rolling a fatty. I sat beside her and removed my own blunt from the King Edward box hidden in a drawer under the table. I lit up and took a deep drag, closing my eyes as I held it in.
I’d turned into a recreational pothead from the very first day Lucy encouraged me to smoke, breaking one of many promises I’d made to myself over the years. It helped me relax and forget things, even if just for a little while. I smoked the entire thing before Lucy and Olivia even made it downstairs.
“Wow, thanks for waiting on us.” Lucy huffed sarcastically, depositing her large makeup bag on the coffee table. “I thought we’d give each other makeovers.”
Olivia landed beside her and groaned at Lucy’s enthusiasm. Josie lit her blunt, and they passed it around. Josie took very small drags and did her best to avoid bringing attention to that fact.