Discovering April (30 page)

“Back up, Doc. I’m going to see my boyfriend!”

“Ma’am, we can’t have you doing that!” He also tries to coax me back, putting his hands on my shoulders, twisting to steer me back towards the room.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion. I was telling you what I’m doing. Now, move out of my way or I will stab you!” I yell to every last nurse peeking their head up over the circular desk in the middle of the hall. The doctor moves back with his hands up and shakes his head before continuing his accelerated pace back down the hallway.

I take one more step before I realize I have no idea where he is. “Where is Jared Hoffman? Where is the guy I came in with?!” I turn to ask the nurses sitting at the desk. They pretend to ignore me, as if they think that will deter me. I laugh a creepy (maybe still drugged up) laugh.

“Okay, then. JARED!” I scream at the top of my lungs, “JARED!” As I continue to waddle down the corridor. I slip once and almost fall all the way to the floor, but I manage to pick myself back up. I then lean against the ledge on the wall and begin screaming louder now. It’s a laugh that makes me turn my head, only because I can tell she’s not laughing at
me
; she’s laughing at the situation.

“Girl!” She giggles, covering her mouth with her hand. “You are crazy! Here let me help,” she says, wheeling a wheel chair up behind me.

I squint my eyes at her apprehensively but she smiles back at me. “You don’t even know where you are going! Let me help, doll.”

I can tell from her dark eyes that she’s being genuine. I pause, taking in her dark curly hair, dark skin, big smile, and scrubs with little pink breast cancer ribbons all over them. I collapse maybe a little too hard into the wheelchair when I can’t find an ounce of deception behind her eyes.

“You got some fight in you, girl! I wish we saw more of that here,” she whispers into my ear.

“Do you know where Jared is?” I have a one-track mind.

“Relax, hon. I know where your boyfriend is. Don’t go stabbing me now!” She chuckles to herself.

I turn around to give her a stern look, but instead I can’t help but burst into laughter beside her. She strolls me down the hall and turns to the left. I’m memorizing the way so that I can take it back later. Jared’s door is the third on the right hand side. She pauses the wheelchair in front of the closed door and I spin around.

“How long have I been out?”

“Two days. We fixed your broken leg and you have a bruised rib. Otherwise, you’re good as gold.”

“And Jared?” I ask, bracing my hands on the armrests for support. I have a gut feeling, an ominous sense deep in my soul that I’m not going to like her answer.

“He went under surgery, too. He is stable.”

“Is that all?” She’s holding something back, thinking that maybe I’m too fragile to handle it.

“He hasn’t woken up from the surgery yet.”

“What?!” I say, a little too loudly. A nurse down the hall eyes me before scampering away.

“He’s in a coma. He hasn’t woken up, but all his vitals are promising.”

My heart drops, and I remember the huge gash in his forehead. “Any brain damage?”

“Not that we can tell. It didn’t break the skull, but we can’t perform functional testing until he’s awake.”

“Wheel me in!” I order her, maybe a little too harshly.

I open the door for her and she wheels me in beside his bed. He lays there with his eyes closed, a huge bandage wrapped around his head. The blanket around his legs is slightly higher on his left side. He has a cast like mine.
We will have matching scars
, I stupidly think to myself.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” the nurse whispers behind me.

“Wait, what’s your name?”

“Tammie,” she whispers before closing the door behind her.

I turn back to Jared. If his heart monitor wasn’t beeping I would think he was dead. His face is pale, his skin taunt, his eyes closed. I get this weird feeling in my stomach again. Using only my arms, I pull myself out of the chair. I put my good leg down first and then the cast, twisting so that I sit on the edge of his bed. It feels like hours I sit there, watching his chest rise and fall. It isn’t until Tammie comes back into the room to check his vitals that I finally snap out of it.

“Is there
any
brain activity?”

“There is always brain activity, but it doesn’t mean he will wake up, sweetheart. I’ve seen this a lot…”

“I know, I watch T.V. Some people in a coma even open their eyes, but it doesn’t mean they are mentally awake.”

She looks down as she takes his pulse. “You’re a smart girl, April.” When she’s done, she waits a few seconds before she asks, “Are you ready?”

Still staring at his limp body, I nod.

Before I scoot off the bed, I lean in to Jared’s ear. “Jared Hoffman, I love you. Do you hear me? I fucking love you. And you are a fighter! Don’t you dare fucking die on me! Don’t you dare fucking leave me!” I poke him in the chest before climbing off and twisting back into the wheel chair.

The ride back to my room is silent. Tammie wheels me back and helps me into bed before she speaks. “They say—”

“Save it Tammie,” I put my hand up to stop her. “What’s next? When am I going to be discharged?”

“You have to go to physical therapy for your leg, hun.”

“Can I do that here?”

“Of course.”

“Good. I’m not leaving him, Tammie.” My eyes search hers for understanding.

“I had a feeling.” She smirks at me before rolling my covers up to my chest and flicking something on the IV. Slowly, my eyes droop and her face becomes a blur.

THE NEXT DAY I think I’m alone in my room until I turn to face the blue eyes of none other than John Smith. I immediately snap my eyes shut, trying to pretend that I’m still asleep.

“April?”
Too late
.

“Officer Smith,” I respond, cold as ice.

“We are back to you calling me by my rank, I see.” He’s standing there in uniform, leaning his back against the wall behind my IV machine.

“As soon as you tricked me.” I turn my face away from him.

“You were practically hysterical. I was trying to help you.”

“My boyfriend has a gash the size of the Grand Canyon in his skull and you think I was being hysterical?!” My eyes twist and tear into him as I fantasize about punching him in the face.

“I thought you guys just ate donuts?”

“We did, back when I said it.”

“And now…?”

“Now, he is all that matters,” I respond, turning away from him.

“I see.” He sighs and pushes off the wall he was leaning against. “I should go then.”

“Maybe you should,” I mutter, barely audible. Keeping my head away from him, I hear his boots trace their way to the door and I hear it slide open.

“April, I’m glad you are okay,” he says softly before I hear his boots wander back into the hall as the door clicks closed.

I’M PRACTICALLY SWINGING down the hall with my crutches. Coming from physical therapy, I always feel cured. It’s a wonder, because I wanted to punch them the first time they laid hands on me, it hurt so bad. Now, they make me feel like I’m surpassing all their expectations. I wave to Tammie as I pass the nurses station, and she winks at me before barking orders to the other nurses.

“Ms. Holloway is complaining about her dressings. Can someone please redo them?”

I smirk.
That’s my girl
! I think as I continue swinging down the hallway on my crutches. I’ve memorized the way to Jared’s room. I think sometimes I sleepwalk here. I wake up with my hands smelling of his soap. I had someone bring it to me while I was here, just a little something from home. Jared’s home, to be exact. I wash his hands and face with it so he still smells like him. Placing my crutches against the doorframe, I reach out and swing the door open before slipping inside and scooting my way over to his bedside. Only this time, he doesn’t look to be alone.

“April!” Stacey calls. I freeze in the doorway. I must look like hell. I haven’t had a decent shower in days, the nurses tell me my face looks pale, and after physical therapy, I’m always sweating.

Stacey doesn’t seem to care. “I’m so glad to see you! I checked your room and they told me you weren’t there. They told me to stay with Jared and you would find me!”

“They know me so well!” I joke.

“That nurse, I think her name was Tammie, she’s a riot!”

“You’re telling me?” I shake my head. I should have known.

“She said you went ape shit when you woke up a few days ago!” Stacey burst into laughter at the thought.

“I recall it slightly different.” I use one crutch to stumble over to the edge of Jared’s bed.

“How’s he doing? Really...”

“Really? Like no nurse lingo, no b.s?” She nods and I sigh. “He’s still breathing, but he gets fed from a tube and hasn’t woken up since the accident. With each day that passes, I find the nurses won’t make eye contact with me. Probably afraid that they will give away some pity and I’ll rip them a new one.”

“Oh Apr—”

“No, not you, too… I need a friend, someone to tell me he’s going to wake up. I need him to wake up,” I whisper as the tears threaten to fall.

“He’s going to wake up!” Stacey sits on the bed beside me with her hand on my shoulder. “He has to.”

THE DAYS SEEM TO
fly by now. I go to physical therapy in the mornings and spend the rest of my days and nights sitting beside Jared in the hospital. Stacey stops by the house to feed Jinx and grab me some clothes, because I refuse to leave the hospital. They discharged me weeks ago, but I pretty much live in Jared’s room now. No one says anything. The nurses are afraid of me and the custodians have become something like friends to me. Late at night when I’m all alone, they come eat their dinner and play cards with me. Tammie is the only nurse that doesn’t seem to be afraid of me. She has been promoted to a managerial position and permanently moved to Jared’s wing because the other nurses almost refuse to enter the room. Maybe it’s because she’s the only one I haven’t threatened with bodily harm. She just gets it. She’s compassionate without having the pity behind her eyes every time we talk. I love the fact that she doesn’t sugar coat it. She will tell me exactly like it is and let me come to the decisions myself.

Hunter even came to visit me. Tammie got rid of him, for me she’s like my bodyguard. He won’t stop texting and calling me ever since the accident. Maybe he’s worried, but he should have thought about that before. Tammie calls him Mr. Grey, because she said he showed up in a suit and tie. It must be internship time. I’ve missed so much school that I emailed the dean and put it on hold for a while. It’s just a small price to pay to keep a promise:
never leave me
.

I won’t, not now.
Not ever
.

I come out of the shower dressed in purple scrubs Tammie brought for me. She had taken my bag of clothes home to wash them for me; she said I was starting to stink up the wing. It’s not like anyone would mind about my change of wardrobe, they all know me by now. I might as well have scrubs on. Today is different. I see Eric beside Jared’s bed this time. Jared hasn’t gotten many visitors; none, actually. My heart freezes in my chest. I haven’t seen Eric since the night at the club when he told me we would never work out, Jared and I. Now he has me alone, and he can do whatever he wants to me. He finally gets his wish— he can finally hurt me. There is nothing else this world can throw at me. I’m already at rock bottom.