Disgrace and Desire (17 page)

‘I must go. I am promised to attend Parham House this evening.’

‘But I thought you did not like Lady Parham above half.’

Eloise gave a little shrug. ‘I do not, but I have hopes that I might be able to settle the question of Ainsley Wood this evening, so you see I must attend. I shall call upon you again tomorrow, Alex.’

Jack put down his glass.

‘It is growing dark. I will escort you to your door, my lady.’

‘Aye, please do, Jack,’ said Alex, before Eloise could refuse. ‘I’d rather not have her walking alone. It is only a step and you can be back in ten minutes.’ He scowled. ‘Do not argue with me, madam. Bad enough that you should risk your reputation by coming here!’

Jack grinned.

‘I think we should humour him, my lady: opposition could render him feverish.’ He held out his arm. ‘Shall we go?’

Silently, Eloise allowed him to escort her out on to the street. The chill autumn night was already setting in and she was glad to push her hands deep into the large muff she was carrying.

‘You said you were walking with Lord Berrow this afternoon,’ said Jack, matching his step to hers. ‘Was Lady Berrow with you, too?’

‘No, she was not.’

‘But she knows of your outing?’

Eloise shrugged. ‘I presume so, Major. Why do you ask?’

‘I think you should have a care, that is all.’

‘Lord Berrow’s estates border my own. We are neighbours. It is only natural that we should discuss matters together.’

‘The gentleman may not see it in quite that way.’

She stiffened.

‘Do not measure all men by your own standards, sir!’

‘I do not,’ he retorted. ‘That is why I urge caution.’

She stopped and turned to face him.

‘Major Clifton, allow me to know my own business,’ she said angrily. ‘I am perfectly capable of looking after myself.’

‘I very much doubt that.’

She drew herself up.

‘In case you have forgotten, sir, my husband was a military man and often absent. I am quite capable of running my own affairs and have been doing so for years!’

‘No, I have not forgotten your husband, madam, which is why I am trying to protect you!’

She gave him an icy look and turned to walk on. He fell into step beside her, saying, ‘While Mortimer is tied to his bed I would urge you to be more careful. You cannot deny that you are inexperienced in the ways of men.’

They had reached her house and she ran quickly up the steps. As the door opened to admit her she turned towards him and said in a low, shaking voice,

‘During the past few weeks I have learned as much about men as I ever want to know!’

A
quiet dinner alone did much to restore Eloise’s good humour and by the time she set out for Parham House she was feeling quite optimistic. Alex was safe and recovering well, and although she was angry with Jack Clifton, she had to admit that it was very pleasant to have someone so concerned for her welfare that they were prepared to argue with her. Tony had been a kind and considerate husband, and Alex was a good friend, but neither had ever shown themselves quite so fiercely protective as Jack Clifton. She could almost believe he cared for her—but that was because he did not know the truth: he was far too honest to approve of the web of deceit she had woven with Tony and Alex. She leaned her head against the luxurious padding of her carriage and allowed herself to dream of what her future could be, if she could only destroy the journal and free herself from Deforge’s clutches. Perhaps, once the secrets of her past were safely hidden she could start again; make a new life for herself that was not built on lies and deceit. And perhaps then Jack might be able to love her. It would not be easy, and escaping from Sir Ronald’s clutches would be both difficult and dangerous, especially with Alex
injured and unable to help, but she decided it was a future worth fighting for.

Parham House was hot, noisy and crowded. Eloise summoned up her society smile and wondered just how soon she would be able to get away. She took a glass of wine and scanned the room for Lord Berrow. During their walk that afternoon he had asked her most specific questions about her plans for the foundling hospital, and she had been encouraged to suggest he reconsider selling her the land at Ainsley Wood. When they parted he had hinted most strongly that if she attended the rout this evening he would give her his decision, so she had changed her walking dress for an evening gown of rose-coloured silk, secured the Allyngham diamonds about her neck and sallied forth to brave Lady Parham’s barbed wit.

Despite her bold words to Jack Clifton, Eloise did not enjoy going about alone in town. She was used to turning off the gentlemen’s flirtatious banter with a laugh and a witty rejoinder, but without Alex at her side she found their attentions a little more pressing, and it was necessary to give an occasional set down in order to keep the gentlemen at a distance. She could not be said to be enjoying herself at Parham House. The time dragged while she waited for Lord Berrow to arrive. She took a second glass of wine, then a glass of champagne, anything to occupy her. At last she was relieved to see the Earl approaching her, and she held out her hand to him, smiling.

‘My lord, I am very pleased you are here! Such a squeeze. All the world and his wife must be present.’

Lord Berrow raised her fingers to his lips.

‘My dear Lady Allyngham. You are radiant, as ever!’

‘Thank you.’ She looked past him. ‘Is Lady Berrow with you?’

He chuckled.

‘My wife is indisposed this evening, but even if she were not, we would not want her here upon this occasion, now would we?’

She realised he was still holding her fingers and gently but firmly pulled them away.

‘No, I suppose not, if we are discussing business.’

‘Business! Ha ha, well, if that is what you wish to call it.’

Her eyes slid away from him and as a distraction she beckoned to a passing waiter.

‘Shall we take a glass of wine, sir?’

The room was very hot and the wine did little to cool her. Eloise wished she had sent the waiter to fetch her some lemonade instead. Lord Berrow seemed content to talk of trivial matters but she was impatient to get away.

‘My lord, you said you would give me your decision on Ainsley Wood. Will you allow me to buy the land from you?’

‘My dear ma’am, I shall be delighted to sell you anything your heart desires!’

‘That is very gracious of you, sir, but it is only a small portion of land that is required.’

‘Then it is yours.’

‘I am so pleased. I shall instruct my lawyers to—’

Lord Berrow put up a hand.

‘Yes, yes, of course, but there are a few little details I should like to talk over.’ He held out his arm. ‘Allow me to escort you out of this crush.’

She placed her fingers on his sleeve and was happy for him to precede her, his substantial bulk carving a path for her through the crowd. The double doors of the main reception rooms had been thrown open and Lord Berrow led her into the salon beyond. This room was just as crowded, but her partner carried on to a small corridor at one end.

‘You appear to know the house very well, my lord.’

Eloise gave a nervous little laugh as he ushered her into a small, book-lined study and closed the door upon the noisy throng. A single branched candlestick and the glow from the fire provided the only lighting in the room, adding to her unease.

He tapped his nose, beaming at her.

‘The advantage of spending years in town, one learns where one may be, ah, private in even the busiest houses.’

‘But is this necessary, Lord Berrow? Would it not be better to discuss these things at your house, or even with my lawyer in the City?’

‘Oh I don’t see the need to involve the lawyers for this,’ he said, drawing her down on to a sofa placed before a crackling fire. ‘At least, not yet.’

He sat down beside her. She edged away a little, suddenly suspicious.

‘My lord, I thought you had agreed to sell me Ainsley Wood.’

‘I have indeed.’ He moved closer ‘But there are a few little details we must discuss.’

‘Must we?’

‘But of course. You know that I was not at all in favour of having a foundling hospital located so near to me.’

‘So near? My dear sir, your house is quite five miles away from Ainsley Wood, and I have already said I would offer you a very good price to buy the land from you.’

‘I am sure you would, my dear, and I am very happy to sell you the wood, but I think we need to discuss terms.’

‘T-terms?’

‘Oh, yes.’ He was smiling at her, so close that she could see the tiny, broken veins in his cheeks. ‘We are neighbours, after all, and it would be very pleasant to know that whenever I stayed in the area I should be welcome at Allyngham.’

‘You and Lady Berrow may call at any time, my lord. Of course I did not receive visitors when I was in mourning, but—’

‘You misunderstand me,’ he murmured, his voice thickening. ‘I shall call upon you
alone,
to enjoy those charms that you display so lavishly. Now let us seal our little bargain with a kiss, shall we…’

His arm slid around her waist and he pulled her to him. She turned her head and felt his hot breath on her ear. She pushed ineffectually at his chest.

‘My lord, let me go! This is not what I intended!’

He chuckled, his mouth pressed against her skin. She felt his teeth nibbling at her neck. Her flesh began to crawl.

‘How dare you. Leave me alone!’

‘No need to be coy, my love, I have said you may have Ainsley Wood, and I will not object to you building your hospital, but you must give me something in return…’

He was forcing her back upon the sofa, his knee pushing between her legs and one hand firmly fixed upon her breast. She began to panic as she felt his weight pressing her down, pinning her beneath him. His hot, rasping breath was warm on her face. She closed her eyes and tried to scream, but she could not get her breath and given the noise in the main salons she doubted if anyone would hear her.

Then, miraculously, she was free. The suffocating weight was lifted from her body and she opened her eyes in time to see Jack Clifton delivering a crashing blow to Lord Berrow’s whiskery jaw. Gasping for breath, Eloise sat up and straightened her gown.

Lord Berrow spluttered and struggled to his feet.

‘Damn you, sir, how dare you assault me!’

Jack stood over him, scowling blackly. ‘From what I could see,
you
were assaulting the lady.’

‘Not I,’ blustered Lord Berrow, moving out of range of Jack’s clenched fist. ‘Lady Allyngham and I have an arrangement!’

‘That is not how I perceived it.’

‘Then ask her! She will tell you she came here willingly.’

Jack looked at Eloise. ‘What do you say, madam?’

She crossed her arms over her breast, her whole body shaking.

‘Please, make him go,’ she croaked.

‘Well, sir. You heard the lady.’ Jack took a step forwards. ‘You had best be off with you.’

Lord Berrow straightened his coat and cast an angry glance towards Eloise. She shuddered and looked away.

‘Very well, madam,’ he said coldly. ‘It would appear I misunderstood you. I beg your pardon.’

With a stiff bow he turned and stalked to the door. There was a sudden burst of sound as he left the room, then the door closed again and relative silence settled over them. Eloise glanced up. Jack was still scowling, his black brows drawn together. She said in a small voice, ‘I suppose you will say now that you told me so.’

The heavy frown vanished.

‘I shall say nothing so ill mannered.’ He walked to a side table and filled a glass from one of the decanters. ‘Here,’ he said, sitting down beside her. ‘Drink this.’

She eyed the golden liquid doubtfully.

‘What is it?’

‘Brandy.’

He put the glass into her hand. Cautiously she took a sip.

She grimaced as the pungent aroma stung her senses. She held the glass away but Jack pushed it back.

‘Drink it. It will put heart into you.’

Obediently she lifted the glass to her lips again. The brandy
burned as she swallowed it but gradually its warmth seemed to spread through her body. The horror of the past few minutes faded and she no longer felt faint.

‘It would seem I am in your debt again.’ Her eyes flickered over his face. ‘Did…did you hear me cry out?’

‘No, I came looking for you. Over dinner I questioned Alex about your interest in Lord Berrow. He told me that you had been trying to persuade Berrow to sell you some land.’

‘Yes. I came here tonight because I thought…I thought he was going to agree to the sale.’ She put her hands to her cheeks. ‘But he wanted…’

‘Hardly surprising.’ Jack’s hard tone heightened her remorse and she hung her head as he continued. ‘When a beautiful woman seeks out a man to flatter and cajole him, is it any wonder if he thinks he can ask for certain favours? You have gone out of your way to give the impression that you are a woman of the world. No wonder Berrow thought you were his for the asking.’

‘Well, I am not. I am not his or any man’s!’ She swallowed and said dejectedly, ‘I do not suppose he will sell me that land now.’

‘Was it so very important to you?’

Jack put his arm around her shoulders. She quickly damped the flicker of pleasure she felt at his touch. It was a gesture of comfort, nothing more.

‘Yes. Did Alex tell you of my plans for a hospital?’

‘A very little.’

‘I want to build a foundling hospital, in memory of my husband.’ His shoulder looked so inviting that she leaned against him. ‘Tony knew there could be no children from our marriage. And I would have liked children, very much.’

‘You are young, madam. There is still time.’

His words cut at her heart. She knew now that there was
only one man she wanted to be the father of her children. He was sitting beside her now, his arm about her shoulders, having rescued her from another foolish scrape.

‘Tony and I had talked about setting up a charitable foundation,’ she said. ‘When he died last year I thought it would be a suitable tribute to him. As an orphan myself I know what it is like to be alone. I was fortunate that Lord and Lady Allyngham took me in and raised me in comfort and luxury but I know that most do not have that advantage, and it is even worse for those poor babes born out of wedlock, or those whose mothers are too poor, or too ill to look after them. The children are left in church doorways, or worse, left to perish at the roadside. We have a good doctor in Allyngham who is very keen to help the poor. He sees the injustice of leaving these children to suffer. We have already financed a small school in the town but I want to do more. I have discussed with him my idea of a foundling hospital and there is some support from the church: we have set up a trust and agreed on a site to build the hospital, a piece of land from my estate, but it is a long circuitous route from the town, unless we can drive a road through Ainsley Wood.’ She handed him the empty glass and gave a large sigh. ‘Well, there is no help for it now. We will have to improve the existing lane.’

‘No need to worry about that now.’ He gently drew her head down on to his shoulder.

‘No. I have been such a fool.’

‘A regular little ninnyhammer,’ he agreed, resting his cheek against her hair.

‘I suppose I should go home, but I do not want to walk out, through all those people. I do not want everyone staring at me.’

‘We do not need to leave just yet.’ Jack leaned back against the sofa, pulling her with him.

‘You will stay here?’

‘As long as you need me.’

She sighed, murmuring, ‘You are a very good friend to me, Major Clifton.’

Eloise closed her eyes. She was so very comfortable. The dim light, which had unsettled her when she had entered the study with Lord Berrow, now gave the room a cosy air. She felt safe, lying with Jack’s arm about her and her cheek resting on his chest. The folds of his freshly laundered neckcloth tickled her nose. A strange inertia had invaded her mind and her body. Perhaps it had not been wise to take quite so much wine.

‘I should not be here with you,’ she murmured, snuggling even closer.

‘You should not be here with anyone.’

She shook her head slightly.

‘No, but definitely not with you. You are dangerous.’

‘Not to you, my dear.’

She smiled as his fingers gently brushed a stray curl from her cheek.

‘Oh, but you are.’

‘I only want to protect you.’

The words rumbled against her cheek.

‘How delightful that sounds.’

‘It
is
delightful. Let me protect you from Deforge.’

‘How could you do that?’

‘I could force a quarrel on him. He is reluctant to meet me, but—’