Disgrace and Desire (19 page)

‘Then you will marry me. Say it.’

‘Yes.’ Eloise lifted her head. ‘I will marry you.’

His triumphant look made her shudder. She watched him raise his hand, an innocuous gesture but immediately the shepherds and the pirate hovering behind the black domino melted away into the crowd.

‘I shall send a notice to the newspapers in the morning, announcing that the wedding will take place on Friday next.’ He held out his arm to her. ‘My lady?’

She stepped away from him.

‘If that is all you have to say to me I shall leave now.’ She fixed her eyes upon his face. ‘But be warned, sir. If anything happens to Major Clifton I promise you I shall cry off, do what you will with the journal!’

His hateful smile appeared.

‘My dear, I think you care for the major even more than your good name. But have you told him what is in that journal? No, I thought not.’ He leaned closer. ‘Do you suppose the honourable Major Clifton will want any connection with the Allyngham family once he knows the truth?’

‘That is none of your concern. I merely want your word that you will not harm him.’

‘As long as you stick to our bargain the major is safe, but his continued well-being depends upon you.’ He ran a finger down her arm. ‘Be a good wife to me and there is no reason why Major Clifton should not enjoy a long and peaceful existence.’ He gripped her arm and added, ‘If you prove troublesome, however, I will make sure that your precious major meets a very slow and painful death. There are ways, you see; methods that would have even Jack Clifton begging for it to end. Do you understand me, my lady?’

Eloise shook off his hand. She said in a low voice, ‘I understand you.’

‘Then everyone is happy.’ The smug note in his voice angered her but she said nothing and he continued. ‘I must
hold a party, to celebrate our betrothal. It is short notice, but I believe the
ton
will come, if only out of curiosity. What think you?’

She shrugged.

‘Do as you please.’

‘Oh, I will. It shall be next Tuesday, at my house in Wardle Street, and I expect you to be at my side. I shall be the envy of the
ton,
shall I not? The man who won the Glorious Allyngham.’

Eloise turned away. She felt slightly sick. Sir Ronald made no attempt to detain her and she hurried out of the ballroom. She was aware of the black domino shadowing her but she ignored him. She did not want to talk to anyone, least of all Jack. She retrieved her cloak and waited impatiently for her carriage to arrive at the door. The black domino had disappeared and her drooping spirits sank even lower. Did he think that now she was leaving she no longer needed his protection? Perhaps he considered his duty done, and had returned to the ballroom to while away the rest of the night with some pretty woman who made no demands upon him.

‘Your carriage, m’lady.’

The servant’s sonorous tones recalled her wandering thoughts and she went out into the busy street. Her own footman held open the carriage door and she climbed in, closing her eyes with relief as she fell back against the thickly padded seat.

‘Thank heaven you are out of there.’

Eloise screamed and opened her eyes. Jack Clifton was sitting in the far corner of the carriage, his black domino merging with the shadows to make him all but invisible.

‘I beg your pardon. I did not mean to startle you.’

‘How did you get in here?’ she demanded.

‘I jumped in,’ he said. ‘From the street side. I want to know what Deforge said to you.’

‘Sir Ronald knew you were present,’ she replied cautiously. ‘His people have been following you.’

‘I thought as much.’

‘You
knew?’

She saw a brief flash of white as he grinned.

‘That big oaf dressed as Blackbeard has been tailing me for days. His bulk makes him far too easy to spot.’

‘But tonight there were others, I saw them.’

‘The rustics? I saw them too—I had to throw them off my track before I climbed into your carriage.’ He untied the strings of his domino and shrugged it off. ‘They need not worry you, my dear.’

‘But they might have killed you!’

‘Not they! Trust me, they were never a threat to me. Only once have I been taken unawares, and that was by a beautiful woman on Hampstead Heath.’

There was a laugh in his voice but it awoke no response in her. He was far too reckless. If he would not protect himself then she must do so, even if it meant she would never see him again.

‘But enough of that,’ he said. ‘Tell me about Deforge. I didn’t like the way he kept leering at you.’

‘He is growing impatient,’ she responded quietly.

‘And?’

Eloise hesitated. Sir Ronald’s threats echoed uncomfortably in her head. At last she said, ‘He wants my decision soon.’

‘Hmm. Word is that he is rolled up and his creditors are pressing for payment. I thought he might have demanded you marry him at once.’

She forced herself to keep her eyes upon Jack. It was very
dark in the carriage, but she would take no chances that he would catch her out in the lie.

‘No. Not yet.’

‘Not ever!’ he growled. ‘We will find some way out of this coil that does not involve you giving yourself to that fiend, or marrying Mortimer.’

She blinked.

‘M-marrying Alex? How could you ever think I would do that?’

‘You said so, at Parham House.’

Eloise was silent. She had only the haziest recollection of what had happened after Jack had rescued her from Lord Berrow. She was afraid she had given herself away and admitted her true feelings: now it appeared that Jack had misunderstood her. He continued harshly, ‘If you must marry anyone for expediency, then you will marry me!’

‘M-marry you?’ she gasped, surprised. ‘What, what reason can you have for w-wanting to marry me?’

‘Reason!’ He gave a crack of laughter. ‘If you want reasons—’ He raised his hand and counted them off on his fingers. ‘Well, for one thing it would foil Deforge, and for another Tony was a good comrade: I owe him my life.’

‘That is very chivalrous, sir, but—’

He crossed the carriage to sit beside her. ‘Not chivalrous at all, my dear. I have my own plans for you.’

She did not pretend to misunderstand. She swallowed, trying to clear the sudden constriction in her throat. His arm was around her and she allowed herself to lean against him.

‘I thought you disapproved of me,’ she murmured

He took her hand in his.

‘I disapprove of the fact that you will not trust me with your secrets.’

‘They are not my secrets to share.’

‘Then I will not force them from you, but you must know that I am yours to command, now and always.’ He put a hand under her chin and tilted her face up. ‘I want you for my wife, Elle. My land isn’t in such good heart as Mortimer’s but with careful management and a little investment I know we can turn it around.’

We? The word made her heart give a little lurch. If only that were possible.

‘I could want nothing better,’ she whispered, sighing.

Jack kissed her and she clung to him, returning his kiss with such a passion that when he broke away they were both breathing heavily.

‘I have only the one estate, now, plus a few acres at Brighton where I plan to build houses. Little enough to bring you, I know—’

‘Do you think I care how wealthy you are?’ Her fingers crept up to touch his cheek. ‘Let us not talk of it now.’

He reached up and trapped her hand with his own.

‘No,’ he said thickly, ‘Let’s not talk.’

He slid his mouth over hers again and instantly she responded, her lips parting as his kiss deepened and she felt herself surrendering. She drove her hands through his thick hair, strong as silk between her gloved fingers. He unfastened her cloak and pushed it away, running his hands over her shoulders, his thumbs caressing her collar bones. Her skin was on fire beneath his touch. Her body remembered the delights of his lovemaking and she was overcome with an urgent need to repeat the experience. He planted a trail of feather-light kisses over her neck and she said, her voice not quite steady, ‘When we reach Dover Street, will…will you come in and take a glass of Madeira with me, Major Clifton?’

He lifted his head to look at her. Even in the darkness she
could see the gleam of desire in his eyes. He replied solemnly, ‘I would be delighted, my lady.’

She stifled the voice in her head that urged caution. Tomorrow the announcement would be in all the newspapers, everyone would know that she was going to marry Deforge, but tonight—she closed her eyes. Tonight she would enjoy one last night with Jack before he was lost to her for ever.

S
itting in the darkened carriage with Eloise in his arms, a quiet, joyous elation swept over Jack. She was his, every instinct told him so. Whatever hold Deforge might have on her they would fight it together. When the carriage pulled up in Dover Street he jumped down and handed her out of the carriage. It was as much as he could do not to sweep her up as if she was a new bride and carry her into the house, but instead he must walk quietly beside her, exchanging idle chit-chat while they handed their cloaks to the butler and she requested refreshments to be fetched. Jack prowled around the drawing room while they waited for the butler to return, knowing that if he came within arms’ reach of Eloise he would have to kiss her. He was almost painfully aroused, his body ached to hold her but he must go slowly, he must remember that she had little experience of love, despite her reputation. He watched her as she stood before the fire, pulling off her gloves. There was a solemn, almost melancholy cast to her countenance.

‘If you want me to leave—’

She glanced up and gave him a fleeting smile.

‘No, truly, I want you here.’ She turned away as Noyes came in and placed a heavy silver tray upon a table.

‘Thank you, you may go now. And, Noyes…’

‘Yes, m’lady?’

‘You may go to bed. Major Clifton will see himself out.’

‘But the bolts, my lady—’

She waved him away impatiently.

‘I am quite capable of dealing with those. Now go to bed, if you please. And on your way tell Alice I shall not need her again tonight.’

There was no mistaking the butler’s look of mingled shock and surprise. Eloise caught Jack’s eye and blushed. She poured two glasses of wine and carried them across the room. Jack watched her, noting the way the wide skirts of her costume swayed with the movement of her hips as she walked. A smile tugged at his mouth.

‘That gown suits you, but I do not like your hair to be so artificially contained.’

She stopped before him, a full wine glass in each hand but he made no move to take one from her. Instead he reached out and pulled off the headdress and tossed it aside.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Making you a little more like a king’s mistress.’

Deftly he removed the pins and the gold curls cascaded over his hands. He spread his fingers and eased them into her hair, coaxing it to fall like a golden curtain around her shoulders. He nodded approvingly.

‘Much better,’ he said.

A shy smile lit her eyes.

‘I do not believe Nell Gwyn ever appeared with her hair thus.’

‘Not in public, perhaps, but in private. For her lover.’

She blushed profusely. Jack took the glasses from her and put them down on a side table. Time for wine later.

She kept her eyes on his face as he began to unlace the bodice of her gown. Her breasts rose and fell, temptingly close to his fingers but he resisted the urge to run his hands over their soft swell. She stood statue-like while he undressed her. The heavy skirts sank to the floor with a whisper and he continued, slowly discarding her clothes until she stood before him wearing only her chemise and a pair of creamy embroidered stockings.

‘Now it is your turn,’ he told her, smiling.

Shyly she reached out and began to unbutton his waistcoat. Despite the layers of material between them, her touch sent little darts of heat through his body. He experienced a jolt of excitement when she began to unfasten his breeches and, unable to restrain himself, he pulled her to him, his mouth seeking her lips. They finished undressing by the light of the guttering candles and then he drew her down on to the daybed.

Jack gently pushed her back against the padded silk. She did not resist. She was so trusting he tried to put aside his own urgent desires and concentrate on pleasing her. His kiss was long and languorous and he felt her relaxing, responding to him. When at last he raised his head, his heart sang out at the message he read in her eyes. They were dark and luminous and as he sat up she reached for him, pulling him back down against her. She gave him back kiss for kiss, tangling her tongue with his. Then he released her mouth and began to explore her body with his hands while he trailed kisses over her breasts and down across her stomach. Her body arched beneath him, pliant and yielding, inviting his touch.

Eloise closed her eyes, giving herself up to the sweet pleasure of his caresses. The past and the future were as nothing,
she was aware only of the present: the crackling fire, the cool smooth daybed beneath her, Jack’s hard body above and the faint, masculine scent of his skin. There was such an excitement building within her, such a cresting wave of joy waiting to burst that she could not keep still. Her body moved of its own accord and her skin was sensitive to the lightest touch. Jack’s long fingers explored her, making her gasp with delight. At one point her body seized, and for one heady, heart-stopping moment she could not move, could not breath.

Jack stilled. He raised his head.

‘Love?’

‘No,’ she whispered urgently, ‘Go on, go on!’

She began to move against him, an instinctive, primal rhythm that she didn’t understand. She wrapped her arms about him, pulling him on top of her, gasping as they were united, their bodies moving as one, faster, harder, the excitement building until they cried out together as the wave finally burst and Eloise clung to Jack as they collapsed back on to the daybed, gasping and exhausted.

Lying snug in the circle of Jack’s arms, with his breath ruffling her hair, Eloise was aware of a sudden
tristesse.
The certainty she had felt earlier was gone, replaced by the thought that she should have sent him away. It would have been better not to know the wonder of being loved by Jack Clifton. She stirred. His hold tightened and he placed a soft, sleepy kiss on her cheek. She closed her eyes and pressed herself against him. No, she could not regret it. The memory of this night would be with her, a constant comfort in the bleak future that stretched ahead of her.

A cold, grey dawn was filling the London streets when Jack finally stepped out into Dover Street. His coat and waistcoat
hung open and his neckcloth was missing but he didn’t care. He felt alive and ready to take on the world. A sudden gust of wind reminded him that winter was on its way and he threw the black domino around his shoulders. Heaven knew what his friends would think if they saw him now. He grinned to himself. They would most likely think he had just left his mistress, and they would be right. Only she was more than his mistress. She was the woman he was going to marry.

When he reached King Street Jack ran up the stairs to his rooms, ignoring his man’s remonstrations as he opened the door to him.

‘Be done with your scolding, Robert,’ he said, throwing himself on to his bed. ‘I am going to sleep now, and I’d be obliged if you didn’t wake me until at least noon!’

It was in fact some time past midday when Jack eventually awoke, and some hours more before he was bathed and dressed and Robert considered him fit to be seen. Having missed his breakfast, he was extremely hungry and decided to go off to White’s to find something to eat.

As he turned into St James Street Jack spotted Sir Ronald Deforge descending the steps of the club. Jack frowned, the memory of the man’s dealings with Eloise darkening his mood. He wanted to force a quarrel upon him and put a bullet through his black heart, but the villain had her journal and until Jack knew just what it contained he must go carefully. And he had given her his word he would not force a quarrel. He was thankful that Deforge did not see him, and had strolled away up the road towards Piccadilly before Jack reached the entrance to White’s. There would be time enough to deal with Deforge later.

Jack found several acquaintances in the card room; they greeted him cheerfully and invited them to join him.

‘Thank you, but no,’ he said. ‘I need to eat first.’ He nodded towards a thin young man sitting by the window, his face as white as his neckcloth. ‘What is wrong with Tiverton? He looks as if he is about to cast up his accounts.’

‘Dished,’ declared Edward Graham, shaking his head. ‘He’s just lost ten thousand to Deforge.’

‘You have to admit the man’s luck is in,’ wheezed a portly gentleman in a grey bag-wig. ‘Last night poor Glaister lost everything he had to him.’

‘Well they say luck goes in threes, let’s hope he’s had his share.’ Mr Graham slapped him on the back. ‘But it’s put paid to your hopes, eh, Clifton?’

Jack smiled.

‘What’s that, Ned? I don’t understand you.’

‘The Glorious Allyngham.’ Mr Graham pointed to the newssheet lying upon the table. ‘Seems Deforge has beaten you to it, old man.’

Bewildered, Jack picked up the newspaper, which was opened to display a large announcement. He stared at it, the letters dancing before his eyes.

‘Aye,’ said Mr Graham, resuming his seat at the card table. ‘So Deforge is to marry Lady Allyngham next week. Damme if I’d have put money against his winning that trick! Waiter, bring me another pack of cards, will you?’

Slowly Jack folded the paper. Then, his appetite forgotten, he turned and walked out of the club.

‘Major Clifton, my lady.’

Noyes barely had time to finish his announcement before Jack burst into the morning room. Eloise put down her embroidery and folded her hands in her lap. She had been expecting him, but she was not prepared for the violence she saw in his
eyes. Her mouth went dry and she had to moisten her lips before she could speak.

‘Won’t you sit down, Major?’

He ignored her, and waited impatiently for the butler to close the door upon them before he spoke.

‘What the hell is all this about?’

‘All what?’ She feigned surprise.

‘This.’ He threw the newspaper into her lap. ‘The announcement of your marriage to Deforge. Will you tell me when that was agreed?’

She swallowed nervously and looked away from his furious glare.

‘Yesterday. At Lanchester House.’

“And why did you not tell me?’

‘Because I knew you would be angry.’

‘Hell and confound it, woman, of course I am angry! Even more so because of what happened here last night.’

She rose from her chair.

‘Pray lower your voice, sir. Would you have the whole world know our business?’

He laughed harshly.

‘Your blatant actions last night can have left your people in no doubt of
our business.’

She flushed and looked down at her hands. He came towards her and grasped her shoulders. She tensed herself for his tirade, but it did not come.

‘Why did you do it, Elle?’ His quiet tone flayed her even more than his anger. ‘I thought that we understood each other. I thought you loved me.’

Too much to marry you!

The words pounded, unspoken, in her head. She shrugged off his hands and turned away.

‘I…forgot myself.’

He pulled her round to face him.

‘You must not do this! Send another notice, refute this and announce that you are going to marry
me.’

Even as she raised her eyes to look at him in her mind she could see Deforge’s men closing in, daggers drawn.

‘I cannot. I gave him my word. Besides, there is the journal.’

‘Ah, yes, that blasted book.’ He let her go and took a hasty turn about the room. ‘What is it, Elle, what have you done that is so bad you cannot tell me?’

She turned to stare out of the window. It was a bleak day, matching her mood. She said quietly, ‘There are others involved: I cannot break faith with them, even for you.’

‘So you would give yourself to this, this monster to protect other people. Hand over your fortune to a man who spends most of his day at the card table! Damnation, woman, he has already lost his own fortune and that of his first wife—he may even have driven her to her death! I will not allow it.’

She turned quickly.

‘You cannot stop me.’

‘I could put a bullet in him!’

‘No!’ she cried, alarmed. ‘You gave me your word!’

‘Hah! What do I care for that now?’

Even through her unhappiness she smiled at that.

‘But you do,’ she said. ‘You are a man of honour.’

And I love you for it.

‘But I will fight for what is mine.’

She said impatiently, ‘Is that how you think of me, a chattel to be fought over and possessed?’

In two strides he was across the room and dragging her into his arms.

‘You know it isn’t. I think of you as my wife!’

She dug her nails into the palms of her hands to stop herself responding to him.

‘No.’ She forced out the words. ‘I am tired of fighting the inevitable. I am going to marry Sir Ronald. It is agreed and I will not go back on it.’

‘Not even for me?’

‘Not even for you.’

His arms dropped away from her and the leaden band about her heart squeezed even tighter.

‘I see.’ He turned away and walked to the fireplace. For a few moments he stared moodily down into the flames. ‘Does Mortimer know?’

‘Yes. I told him this morning.’

‘And he does not object?’

She hesitated, remembering the strong words that had passed between her and Alex. At last she said, ‘Of course he objects, but he is still too unwell to do anything to stop me.’ She raised her head and directed a look at him. Her heart was breaking but she met his eyes steadily, determined not to show him how much this was costing her. ‘I have made my decision, Major Clifton. I…enjoyed our brief liaison, but it is over. Now we must say goodbye.’

She held out her hand. Jack stared at it, scowling blackly, then, without a word, he turned on his heel and left.