dissonance. (a Böhme novel) (26 page)

“So tell me why you do it Blake? You just told me why your mom does; why do you?” she asked as she paused in front of one of our largest iguanas. He was almost five feet long.

“This is Tom Brokaw and before you ask, yes they are all named after news anchors,” I said with a pointed smile. “But I do it because I just love them. I’m not a fan of the snakes though, but the iguanas—the iguanas are the coolest. Everyone thinks they’re only reptiles and you can put them in a glass box and just feed them. But they are living beings, they have needs, and from what I’ve seen, they even have emotions—though others would disagree with me. I know the iguanas remember me and just wait for me to feed them. They’re my friends and they need to be saved and protected just like everyone else.”

“You really are a knight Blake,” she said with a smile.

“Ahh, I can’t have that label,” I said as I clenched my jaw. “I’m no knight. Knights always make sure to stand up for things, no matter what. At least that’s how they were in the stories,” I said as I took her hand. “Your gift is back this way,” I said, changing the subject.

We entered the woodshop and I looked back at her as she looked across the many shelves covered with various wood carvings.

“Did you do all of these?” she asked in awe.

I laughed softly. “No, most of these my grandpa did. These shelves are mine,” I said as I pointed to my work near the back of the room.

“Oh wow, so cute—and tiny!” she exclaimed as she looked at me.

“Those aren’t two things a man wants to hear come out of his woman’s mouth,” I said with a false frown and couldn’t hold it as I saw her expression.

“His woman’s mouth?” she asked as she smacked my arm.

I went and picked her present up from the other workbench as she had her back turned to me. I had put a bow around the neck of the elephant, so I was glad she wasn’t looking and I could just surprise her with it.

“Your woman,” she said under her breath as she turned to me, hands on her hips. Then she looked down at the elephant I held between my fingers.

She silently took it from me and turned it side to side to take in the detail. I had engraved a design on it as if it were wearing a saddle pad over its back. I still couldn’t believe I finished it in one night. My dad was right; it was one of my best works.

“You commented on Karl’s patience with painting before. I imagine it takes a shit ton of patience to carve this little guy,” she said with a questioning grin and rolled the elephant between her fingers.

“No, I said he would have to have the patience of a saint to paint that. I can’t paint intricately, but I can whittle some mean wood,” I said with a wag of my eyebrows.

“Oh my god, you’re a jackass,” she said with a backhand to my arm. “How long have you been working on it?” she asked without any touch of annoyance as she had before.

I put my hand over hers that held the elephant and pulled her back against my chest. I leaned down and looked at it with her. “I made it after the night of Karl’s exhibit.”

“How could you have made it for me? We only just met?” she asked.

“I saw your tattoo and I figured if you have a tattoo of an elephant behind your ear that must mean you like them. So I had been thinking about you, and the wood let that guy out of it.” I tried to mask how unsure I felt telling her this, but I knew I failed.

“You made it in one night? How?” she asked.

“It’s amazing what a man can do in one night with a little determination.” I laughed as I put my hands on her hips and rolled them toward me.

“So you were determined to make me this?” she asked with hesitation.

“Yes, I wish there was a word stronger than determination to describe how serious I was about finishing that for you. I didn’t know if I was going to get the opportunity to give it to you, but I did it anyway. I figured if our date sucked that next day, at least I would have got a great carving out of the deal.” I kissed the back of her hand that held the elephant. “Why did you choose an elephant?” I asked.

She sighed as she looked at the elephant figure.

“I’ve always been into symbolism. I guess I got it from my mom. She’s big into old world religion and symbolism. The elephant is an animal with deep social connection and they truly feel it when they lose one of their own. I miss my father greatly and that tattoo was in his honor. So I thank you for giving me this little guy. It means a lot,” she said as she danced the elephant by twisting his leg between her thumb and index finger.

“What do you think I should name him?” she asked.

“Hmm he looks like an…Instant Coffee,” I said with seriousness.

“Instant Coffee?  Did you just look around the room and pick something? Because I see the jar sitting right there,” she said, pointing to the jar.

“Yes, but why does that matter? I’ve been looking at that jar of coffee the last few minutes in my nervousness. You are so fucking beautiful and I still wonder if this is really happening. That jar of coffee reminds me that I’m not dreaming, because who the hell dreams about instant coffee?” I looked down my nose at her with my head tilted. “No one. That’s right, Brecken. No one. So that means that this is really happening.” I gave her what I hoped was a mocked serious face. It must have worked because she laughed at me as she rolled out from under my arm and took my hand.

“Well, thank you for the gift Blake. Let’s go grab something quick and take it to the bakery to eat while I make your cake.” She pulled my hand toward the door.

“You haven’t already made it?” I asked.

“I was going to, but I didn’t have the right pan for it. So I figured part of my gift to you would be allowing you to watch me bake,” she said with a laugh.

“Why I thank you in advance for the opportunity to see you in action,” I said as I traced my hand across her hip.

The writer painted the image of a teenage girl in her prom dress. There was a cloud above her, and rain washed over her causing streams of makeup to fall down her chin. Her flowers lay on the ground next to her.

Did you ever believe in happily ever afters, anyway?

I parked my car and looked at Blake. He wore a soft smile on his face and he let it drift into what he tried to project as his seriously sincere face. I saw him doing it all night, trying to show me something other than his smile. But in all honesty I only wanted to see his smile. He told me I was beautiful, but he was too. He was so fucking genuine and honest. In him I finally met the guy I could trust.

I climbed across the front seat and ran my hand through his hair before kissing his cheek and pulled him into a hug.

“Now that you finished your dinner, do you want some asparagus?” I asked in my sweetest voice.

“No. You promised me cake,” he said with a quiet, serious tone of his own. “Well, unless asparagus is some sexual term you use that I’m not familiar with, then yes I want that.” He sat back and gave me his best faux seductive grin.

“Come on,” I said as I put my hand on his door and we both climbed out the passenger side.

I entered the code to turn off the security and let Blake enter in front of me. “So I’m looking forward to this,” he said “My mom is the only person who has ever baked a cake for me,” he said as he looked in the display case.

“Does every one of these have vegetables in them or is that just a marketing scheme trying to convince people they are being healthy?” he asked.

I laughed. “No scheme, Blake. Every one of the items in the display case has at least one serving of vegetables,” I said as I leaned against the tall display case from behind the counter.

He smiled as he stood up and put his hand on mine. We stood that way for a moment, just staring at each other with stacks of vegetable cookies between us. He lifted my hand and put our palms together as he took my other hand and entwined his fingers with mine.

“Breck, Breck, Breck. Do you know what you do to me?” he asked as he pulled me gently to step closer to the case. I could barely reach over it; I was too short. But he was able to reach me as he stood against it. He pulled my hands to his lips and when he let go of them, I kept them on his face.

I let my thumb trace along the base of his jaw as he leaned as far as he could and kissed my cheekbones before lightly tracing my lips with his. Then he kissed me. It was a gentler, more patient kiss than any we had shared before. There was still lingering want held within it, but there wasn’t the usual desperation. This was earthier and it felt like he was sealing something between us.

I didn’t think of the age gap or fear of losing him in that moment—though those thoughts haunted me every time we were together. I didn’t think of the fact that I needed to wipe down the case after we let our hands touch it. No, I didn’t think of those things. I thought of Blake Lawson and his deep, meaningful eyes that held mine as tightly as his hand on the side of my face.

“Am I allowed to come behind the counter or is it just for employees?” he asked with his lips still pressed to mine.

“No, you have to stay over there. But you can come into the kitchen with me,” I said with a smile as I started to pull away from him.

He reluctantly released my hand and stepped back from the display case. “Well I can live with that. Lead the way,” he said with a wave of his hand.

I stepped from behind the counter and opened up the door leading to our kitchen. It is a big kitchen and people never realize it’s there as the door blends in with the wall.

I turned the light on and Blake laughed when he stepped in the room. “I can see Karl has been here,” he said, pointing at the ceiling and Karl’s painting of
The Last Supper
but with cartoon characters. “That reminds me of the painting he did at the Böhme.”

“Yes, he did that shortly after he did the one there. He’s a funny guy. So fucking talented too,” I said as I began to gather the ingredients. “So what is the one vegetable you can’t stand?” I asked.

“Brussels sprouts. I fucking hate Brussels sprouts,” he said as he took a seat on one of the stainless steel stools sitting against the wall.

“Okay, Brussels sprouts it is—now don’t get comfortable. You’re going to help me,” I said, patting the side of the table nearest me.

“Well, I guess I can do that, but I was expecting you to make it all, since it’s your gift to me. We could pretend you’re a school girl and this is your home economics class. I could be the star football player and you want to make me this cake to impress me.”

“Oh god no, I would never make a cake for the star football player. When I was in high school I was more into the skaters, the musicians, the guys with an opinion on the world around them. Those that didn’t want to fit in. Non conformity is sexy as hell,” I said with a smile and smack on his butt.

He grabbed the wrist of the hand I got him with and he pulled me into him. “Well, fortunately for us, we didn’t go to high school together. I would have pined for you and you would have ignored me, because I was none of those. I was just Blake.” As he spoke I saw a tiny drop of sadness for a moment. Then his genuine, free, smile formed in its place and he kissed the top of my head before smacking my ass like I had his.

“I don’t believe a word of that,” I said and he gave me a shake of his head. “No, I’m serious. I wouldn’t have ignored you and you wouldn’t have been just Blake to me.”

“No, we would have been that way, but that’s okay. We just weren’t meant to meet in high school. If we were, the universe would have made you either ten years younger or me ten years older. But if that were to have happened, we wouldn’t be who we are now and now wouldn’t have been the right time to meet,” he said with a seriously sincere face. There it was—I saw it. “We would’ve just passed by each other and not had what we have now.”

I threw my spoon down and stared at him, “Damn it Blake, why do you always do that?”

“Do what?” he asked with a laugh.

“You say the perfect thing at the perfect fucking moment. You are not just Blake and you aren’t an idiot either. I can see you think it though. The way you talk about everyone else’s talents and then just diminish anything about yourself—that’s what I’m talking about. You said you were just Blake as if there isn’t anything meaningful about you,” I said, waving my hand at him as he shook his head with a goofy grin as if I were crazy. “Well, there is something I see in you that others may not see—you are the most genuine and sincere person I have ever met. There are no walls with you. You have an extreme ability to show compassion. I see it in your eyes. Your empathy and depth is fucking heart breaking.”

“Wow, Breck, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” he said with sincerity but I could tell he didn’t want to believe it.

“Why do you do it Blake? Why do you sell yourself short?” I asked.

He sighed. “Okay, I will tell you, but you have to keep on working on that cake. I’m dying here.”

“Okay, deal, now talk,” I said as I picked up my spoon and grabbed a clean one.

“My friend Wynn,” I nodded for him to continue. “Well, I’ve been in a mood since I heard a song earlier tonight. It brought back memories,” he said.

“I could tell you were off tonight. Like I said earlier—you change when you talk about him,” I said.