Do Not Disturb (20 page)

“How long will you have to do all this extra work,
Mom?”

Kelly rested her head in her arms on the kitchen
table opposite Allison, rolling a pencil back and forth a few inches from her
nose.

“Only a few more days, sweetie.”

Surely it wouldn’t last much longer. It had
already been three weeks and instead of projects ending, the new management
kept finding more for her to take on.

“Is the promotion that important to you?”

Of course it was important. It’s what I’ve been
working for, hoping for, Allison wanted to say. But instead, she slumped back
against her chair and watched her daughter. Kelly had always been so patient
about Allison’s time spent working and during graduate school, seemingly more
interested in being with her friends than what Allison was doing. But the last
few days Kelly had moped around the house alone. Was this really about
Allison’s work?

“I promise to take a break after Saturday. We’ll
go Christmas shopping and decorate on Sunday.” She reached over and covered
Kelly’s hand. “Can you give me just a few more days?”

“Sure,” Kelly said, her tone not convincing. She
raised her head and looked at her mother. “It just seems you’re working harder
than ever, but you aren’t very happy anymore.”

Allison clenched her teeth, then released her jaw
immediately at a shot of pain. Why did everyone think she was miserable? Even
Suzy kept asking her what was wrong.

“I’m just a little busier than usual right now,
that’s all.”

She couldn’t be unhappy when she was finally
getting what she wanted.

Kelly stood the pencil on its eraser, then flipped
it through her fingers. “Why don’t you see Mr. Tyler anymore? Did you have a
fight?”

The question Allison had been dreading. It had
only been a few days, but Brett’s absence was obvious. She straightened her
papers on the table as she snuck a glance at Kelly. Had she and Caroline talked
about it at school? What had Brett told Caroline? She lined up her pencils next
to her notepad. Well, there was no reason to delay the truth.

“Even though I won’t be seeing Mr. Tyler anymore,
it won’t affect your friendship with Caroline, sweetie.” She tried to keep her
voice even, as her throat began to close. “It’s just that sometimes people find
out they want different things in life. You’ll discover this as you start
dating.”

“But you were so happy around him.” Kelly
shrugged. “More relaxed.”

This kid was way too smart.

“Even Grandma and Grandpa said so.”

She couldn’t believe her parents were talking
about her to Kelly. “What did they say?” Allison asked, trying to act
nonchalant.

“Just that they liked Mr. Tyler and it was about
time you found someone to make you happy.”

“I’m happy,” Allison jumped out of her chair, her
blood pressure soaring. She clutched the edge of the counter. She was happy.
She was up for a promotion. Her daughter was doing well. The only problem she
had was solving the lawsuit with James’ parents.

And Michael assured her almost daily everything
would work out. He’d suggested they ask for an audit of the trust fund left by
James, a detailed accounting of how the money was being used.  He’d also
interviewed friends who knew James. Everyone backed up Allison’s story that
James was a proud father.

Although the lawsuit was groundless, she knew
James’ parents could drag it through the courts for a long time if Michael
couldn’t find some way to stop them.

The edge of the counter dug ridges into her
fingers, shooting pain up her arms. Once they settled the lawsuit, she’d be
back to normal. She let go and rubbed the indentations with her thumbs.

At least the rest of her life was back in order
now. She knew what she would do each day. She and Kelly were back on a
schedule.

No surprises.

No Brett.

No excitement disrupting their time.

No Brett.

Suddenly she didn’t feel like working anymore.

“Sorry, sweetie.” She turned back to Kelly. “I
didn’t mean to get upset.”

Kelly was sitting up in her chair, her eyes wide.
She’d never raised her voice around Kelly. What was wrong with her?

“I think I’ll get ready for bed. Maybe I need some
sleep. Why don’t you go to your room and I’ll come tuck you in after I take a
shower.”

Combing her hair fifteen minutes later, the tears
threatened again. Brett loved her hair down. Her hand fell to her bare leg, the
brush bristles digging into her thigh.

When would she stop thinking about him? They
hadn’t been together very long, but he’d permeated every part of her life.

She began pulling her hair back into a braid then
stopped. It didn’t look so bad on her shoulders. It did make her look a little
less...stiff.

Rifling through a drawer, she located a coated
band and jerked her hair into a ponytail. She did not need anything else
reminding her of Brett. And her hair looked just fine pulled back.

#

The Friday before Christmas Allison was sitting at
her desk staring out the window in an exhausted daze when Michael finally
called.

“It’s almost all over, Allison.”

She dropped her pen to her notebook.

“What?” was all she could squeak out.

“The audit revealed that James’ parents have been
taking money from the trust for their own use.”

“Stealing?” This couldn’t be true.

“It appears they’re having financial problems and
were using the paternity suit as a way to intimidate you and divert attention
away from the fund.”

“But they’re rich.” She remembered the Mercedes
they drove to Duke, the trips to Europe each summer and those outrageous checks
they sent to James each month.

“Not anymore.” She heard him shuffle some papers.
“I have the details, but the bottom line is you can prosecute for what they’ve
done and I’m sure we can make it stick.”

“Prosecute?” His parents were stealing from their
own grandchild? How desperate had they become? “If I don’t prosecute is it all
over?”

“Yes. The fund is Kelly’s.“

“I just want it finished.” The muscles in her body
relaxed inch by inch. “I don’t want to send them to jail.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that. I’ll wrap up all
the details and the money should be transferred over to you by the end of the
year. You’ll be in charge of it until Kelly is eighteen, but the money can only
be spent on her.”

“I understand.”

She sagged over her desk.

“Allison? You still there?”

“Yes. Oh, thank you so much, Michael. I’m so
relieved.”

“You’re welcome. Have a nice holiday and I’ll be
in touch with the final paperwork.”

She hung up. It was over.

Everything was solved but her promise to take
Kelly to see her father’s grave. She hadn’t had the courage to tell her that it
was impossible.

Allison picked up the photo of Kelly from her
credenza. Kelly had suffered enough with her father dying and Allison just
couldn’t find a way to explain James’ parents and their selfishness. But she
had come up with a way for Kelly to pay tribute to her father. Placing the
picture down, she smiled at her daughter. Something his parents couldn’t stop.

She rose from her chair and walked to the window.
It was a beautiful day. Clear blue skies and warm. A perfect day to go on a
boat. A perfect day to celebrate.

She pressed a hand over her heart.

Brett would tell her to leave work early. Take the
day off, pack a picnic, pick up the girls from school and go to the beach. Then
later tonight they would sneak out to the back deck, in the dark. Leave the
girls inside.

Brett always found a way for them to be alone and
sneak in an earth shattering kiss.

She wrapped her arms around her stomach. Cold
hands. Not warm and strong like Brett’s.

The beautiful day suddenly seemed empty. Blinking
her eyes rapidly, she cleared away the haze left by unshed tears.

She wouldn’t cry anymore.

She drifted back to her desk and opened a file.

She might as well work.

Allison rolled over in the tangled sheets and
stared at the clock. It was six on Saturday morning and she was wide awake. She
threw back the covers and fumbled her way to the bathroom in the dark, groping
for the light switch.

After squinting for a few seconds while her eyes
adjusted to the lights, she leaned into the mirror. The dark circles beneath
her eyes spoke the truth – she had slept very little. After hearing the news
from Michael yesterday, she thought she’d feel better.

Sliding her toothbrush and toothpaste out of the
drawer, she started her morning rituals.

She’d been counting on the resolution of the
lawsuit to lift her spirits and finally get some sleep. But she’d had crazy
dreams all night. Brett, James, her job, everything all jumbled up as she raced
from place to place trying to solve problems. Getting nowhere.

Slapping cold water on her face, she pushed the
dreams into her subconscious. She didn’t want to analyze them or what they
meant. It was probably just all the pressure of the last few weeks anyway.
Shoving her hair out of her face, she grabbed her robe and tip-toed to the
kitchen.

Ten minutes later she was sitting on the floor in
her family room with a cup of instant coffee and a shoebox.

“Ughhh.” She set the coffee on the carpet next to
her and tried not to think of Brett’s delicious brew. “Better get used to
instant again, Allison.” She folded her legs under her and lifted off the box
top.

The first picture was of Kelly and James about six
months earlier. Underneath was another photo of them at the beach last summer.
As she sifted through the contents, Allison reconstructed all the years Kelly
had spent with her father.

He had started taking pictures when she was small
and then gave her a camera when she was in first grade. They had chronicled
every visit, persuading strangers to take the pictures of them together.
Interspersed were clippings James had sent of his trips overseas on medical
missions.

Allison sat back and stared. It was hard to
remember him as her boyfriend. She closed her eyes and thought back to college.
Was he ever really like a boyfriend? He seldom held her hand, hugged her. Never
called her darling or honey like...

He was so different than Brett.

Was she different then? Why was she attracted to
James? Visions of them together rolled across her brain. Studying in the
library. Breaks in the cafeteria. Back in the library. Occasionally going to
bed.

She sat up straighter. How often did they actually
have sex anyway? Seemed like they spent more time studying than anything else.
And very little time talking. About the only thing they discussed was how to
meet their career goals. And the most efficient way to get there.

Did they ever do anything fun?

She leaned over the pictures and selected a few of
the best shots of James and Kelly through the years and then placed everything
else back in the box.

Holding the photo close, she stared again. She
admired him and what he wanted to do with his life and medicine, but she never
did love him, she was sure of that now. The only thing she felt when they broke
up was lonely, but not for him, just for the companionship.

Unlike now. She’d never ached like she did now.
That cold, hollow pain that stayed with her day and night.

She snatched the box and stood. Grabbing her
briefcase, she walked to the kitchen table. She removed a folder from her case
and dumped the contents on the table, spreading lists and photos of children in
front of her.

Kelly would be excited about this. Allison just
hoped it would help ease the pain of not being able to visit to her father’s
grave.

Through the medical society that planned James’
mission, Allison had obtained information on the children in the village where
James was working. They had even sent pictures and clothing sizes.

She and Kelly would buy them Christmas presents,
wrap them and write a letter explaining that Kelly was Dr. James’ daughter.
They would get duplicates of the photos of James and Kelly and send them along,
too.

This way Kelly could do something in honor of
James and carry on his work in a small way.

“Mom.”

Allison turned at Kelly’s voice.

“What are you doing?”

By the time Allison had explained the project,
Kelly was racing around the room ready to go to the mall.

“It’s too early Kelly.” Allison began stacking the
papers and pictures and dropping them into the folder.” Maybe we’ll eat
breakfast first.” She picked up a pen and pad of paper. “And then we can plan
what we need to buy and which stores we want to visit so we won’t get mixed up
in the crowds and---“

“No, mom.” Kelly grabbed the pad from Allison’s
hand. “Don’t make me plan Christmas shopping. We’ll just walk from store to
store.” She twirled around in a circle. “It will be great, just shopping and
shopping. We can stop where we want and...” She pushed her mother toward the back
of the house. “Hurry up and get dressed. I can’t wait.”

“But it will be a madhouse and we’ll never get
anything done if...”

She heard the water from Kelly’s bathroom and gave
up trying to talk to her daughter. Making a mental list of what they needed to
do, she visualized the shops in her head as she strolled to her bedroom.

They had to have some kind of plan.

Didn’t they?

#

“And by the time we got home, I could barely
move.” Allison shifted Ellen, Joan’s daughter, to her other arm.

“It sounds wonderful.” Joan finished nursing Eric,
Ellen’s twin brother and handed him to Allison. She dropped her nursing pad on
the floor next to her rocker. “It sounds like Kelly liked your idea about the
gifts.”

“She was thrilled.” Allison smiled as she observed
her friend surrounded by all the frippery of the babies’ nursery. Yellow ducks
waddled across the walls, bluebirds flew from a mobile and green frogs hopped
along the sides of matching bassinets and chests.

Certainly different than the board room at the
bank, but Joan looked contented. And she understood the feeling. “I was so
proud of her. She didn’t want to even talk about anything for herself. All she
could think about was those poor children James had worked with.” She rocked
the babies up and down as they drifted off to sleep. “She’s already talking
about what we’ll do for their birthdays.”

“You have a special daughter.”

“I do.” She shook her head. “Nothing like me, it
seems, but wonderful.”

“She has a lot of your qualities.” Joan buttoned
up her shirt. “Just maybe not some of your more obsessive ones.”

Allison’s head jerked up. “What do you mean?”

Joan leaned over and ran her finger down the
Ellen’s arm, then did the same for Eric while she continued talking. “Why did
you and Brett break up?”

“How do you know we broke up?”

Joan glanced up at her friend and then stood.
“Because you haven’t mentioned him and that dreamy look is gone from your
face.” She rolled the bassinets over to Allison and placed the babies in their
beds.

“I did not have a dreamy look.”

Joan sank back in the rocker across from Allison.
“You looked more relaxed and happier than I had ever seen you the weeks you were
dating Brett.” She pointed a finger. “And don’t even try to deny it. I’ve known
you too long.”

Allison sighed and dropped her head. “Am I too
controlling, Joan?”

Her friend hesitated before answering. “Did Brett
say you were?”

“Not exactly.” Allison twisted her watchband
around and around her wrist. “But he did talk about my trying to plan my
life...and how things can’t always be controlled.”

“Oh.”

“But I have to keep in control, Joan.” Allison
looked up. “Look what happened when I didn’t back in college.”

“You had a wonderful daughter that you can’t
imagine living without,” Joan said softly.

“Not fair.” Allison picked up a magazine from the
table next to her and flipped the pages through her fingers. “You know what I
mean.”

“I know you believe that horrible things will
happen to you if you don’t plan your life.”

“I need the control.” She rolled the magazine in
her hands and looked up. “I need it.”

“Then that’s the way you have to live, Allison.”
Joan moved forward and touched Allison’s knee. “But be sure that’s what you
need more than...” she grabbed the magazine and tapped Allison’s leg, “a little
surprise every once in a while, a kiss from Brett, his support...”

Joan sat back. “You know, Allison, we can always
learn from each other, change a little...and if you and Brett are really meant
to be,” she sighed. “in the end, you’ll both be happier.”

“Like you and Brad?”

“We are different you know.”

“But—“

“Just think about it, Allison, and make sure what
you’re keeping is worth more to you than what you’re giving up...and be sure
there’s not a way to have what you both need.”

“But—“

“And no, it’s not always easy,” she rapped
Allison’s leg again with the magazine. “But it is definitely worth it if you
love him.”

Allison narrowed her eyes. “I never said anything about
love.”

“I know you didn’t.” Joan grinned and nodded her
head.