Doing The Apocalypse Shuffle: Southern Prepper Adventure Fiction of Survival Grid Down (Old Preppers Die Hard Book 2) (8 page)

“That’s it, well I take that back, I got an old police model .38 special I will take $300 dollars for, it ain`t much to look at but it shoots and has lots of service left in it. It’s a Smith and Wesson round handle.” Barnett said reaching under the counter and pulling it out for Farley’s inspection.

“I mean this ain`t much to look at, that ugly thing looks like it was carried by a swamp game warden and never cleaned since it was taken out of service.” Farley said making Frazier snicker at his comment as Barnett attempted to wipe off with a rag some of the more obvious grime that was mixed in with tiny flecks of rust.

“Ok now, no more dickering I will take six hundred for the two pistols but that’s my final price Farley, take it or leave it.” Barnett declared.

Farley stared at the two pistols for awhile pondering the deal and finally agreed to the price but he hadn’t decided yet exactly in his own mind just how much cash and barter he wanted to do to trade on them yet.

“Let me look around a minute, Barnett, and see what all else I might need before we settle up accounts. I got the cash on me but I think that I might want to barter some; folding money is hard to come by these days.” Farley said dismissively contemplating how he might better come out ahead in this transaction.

“Oh take your time and have a look around, I will trade with you some maybe, make me an offer when you’re ready.” Barnett said hoping for some more silver coins or bullion.

“Hey I bumped into who maybe might be a friend of yours the other day, said he was a sales rep for I think it was South Bend fishing tackle, he asked me if I wanted to buy a fishing pole.” Farley said chuckling.

“Old guy? Reddish kind of hair?” Barnett asked.

“No, he looked like some kind of oriental. He had a whole truck full of fishing gear he said he would sell.” Farley said nonchalantly.

“Don’t ring a bell, we usually catalog order all our stuff from the warehouse, though. Where did you see him at?” Barnett said looking to Frazier for confirmation that they didn’t know who Farley was talking about.

“Oh down by the turn off to the horseshoe bar, he was parked in their lot and I pulled in hoping the place was open. It wasn’t, the door was busted in and he said he was just parked reading a map and trying to get directions. I showed him roughly where on the map he was and got him turned around. He said he had himself a place on up the cove a bit.” Farley said doing the usual not mentioning this lake had a bunch of coves but not specifying the one you was actually talking about.

“You see him again you be sure to send him my way and maybe I will do some business with him. You would think fish poles wouldn’t sell to folks on the lake but people seem to be wanting to buy them these days along with the rest of the paraphernalia except for them over-priced tournament lures that usually don’t sell no way.” Barnett declared.

“He is lucky Dump Truck didn’t run him off, you be careful around that place, Farley. It might be busted in but the owners are still watching the place, why I don’t know because there is nothing in there to get except maybe some tables or bar napkins.” Frazier said.

“Yea, whoever broke in there evidently didn’t believe the sign Connors put up in the window saying “I took the booze with me, so leave this place alone or get shot.” Barnett said in raspy voice full of mirth.

“I guess not, the door doesn’t have a bit of glass left in it now.  They have some two by fours nailed across the opening here and there with a hand drawn “trespassers will be shot and shot again” sign that kind of freaked me out though when I pulled in. That big sign has somebody’s half ass rendition of a skull and cross bones on it also with two bullet holes in it.” Farley said describing how the building was now secured.

“Shit that skull and bones is meaningful. Connors has been known to want to shoot at people before.” Frazier warned.

“Thanks for the heads up guys. I only pulled in there because I saw the fishing supply truck sitting in the lot and hoped that the bar might possibly be open for business like you all were.” Farley declared.

“I would avoid that place entirely if I were you, Farley, just like Frazier said for you to do. However Connors says that he might reopen that place someday again if he can find some more booze. Even if he does you won’t catch me in there with that squirrelly son of a bitch, though.” Barnett said.

“I take it Dump Truck used to be the bouncer there or maybe he will be again?” Farley asked.

“You must have been there before yourself, Farley, do you know old Dump?” Frazier asked.

“No, it’s been several years since I stopped in there during the day time for a beer and I think it was Margaret’s then. I used to go in a Bar in Bessemer and they had themselves a bouncer named Dump Truck so I just put two and two together.” Farley said with a smile.

“He stays back in them woods somewhere over there; he rides an old Harley and has a full beard if you happen to see him. Pretty nice guy most of the time, kind of runs the show and performs everything from doorman to bartender to manager for Connors. Anyway until you see an open sign back on the place, avoid it.” Frazier said.

“Ok, I will try and track down that fishing equipment guy for you. I could go look him up I think. I have a general idea where he was going so I might go have a look see if you were maybe willing to offer a small commission or finder’s fee.” Farley said with a slight grin.

“I might be able to give you something small like $25 for a referral if you want that and he actually shows.” Barnett offered.

“Hell, it might just cost me that much in gas to track him down. Speaking of gas, I got four boat cans full the boys on my end of the lake chipped in for trading purposes, that is if I could find me some guns or chickens for barter or exchange. Barnett, you willing to do some price adjustments or barter for those gas cans?” Farley asked

“You got all the guns I had on hand for trade today, but they come in and out the door fairly regular and I can use all the gas I can get. As for chickens now that’s a specialty item, I know chickens used to be not worth very much but a good laying hen these days is worth more than the meat on the bone, it’s days of eggs or more chickens if you’re lucky but for a can of gas now my friend we might could make us some arrangements.” Barnett said.

“Ok, 4 cans of gas and some cash against guns and chickens, Damn is there something wrong with that statement?” Farley said with a grin enjoying the banter.

“You get that gas by regular trading or by borrowing?” Barnett asked spoiling the moment.

“Told you, me and some friends started us up a little enclave, kind of a screwed up situation if you ask me but we sort of tribed ourselves up and are sharing what we got for the common good amongst us all.  We had us 5 boats with gas cans or tanks, 8 cars and we said hell, with a little bit of ingenuity we can fill some gaps with those resources. So everyone got together and pooled their gas resources to possibly trade for some guns or chickens. Who the hell needs a gas sucking 250 Mercury Cruiser these days if you can run a trolling motor and go fishing better?” Farley declared.

“How are you going to charge them engines marine batteries once they go dry?” Frazier asked.

“Oh I always been one of them nuts that thought solar power was cool and have a portable 120 watt set of solar panels that can be used to take care of some of those needs. We have got us a retired fourth grade science teacher living over there that says we can build us some wind turbines, too. We are all going to try to get by this disaster by all rowing in unison, if you know what I mean.” Farley said laying on the BULLSHIT pretty deep.

“Seems like you got yourselves a pretty good plan going, folks sure do need to think more about how to cooperate these days. I wouldn’t mind finding out more about that solar stuff myself, hell if we got anything we have got plenty of sunshine these days.” Frazier exclaimed.

“It is basically simple, hell I can even understand it when that science teacher talks about it. He already did a good thing for them folks over there before the disaster and had a couple people that nominally invested in some 10-15 watt solar panels that can charge a trolling motor or a car battery, my big rig can do the job quicker and better and handle more of a load so we are studying up on how to pump water or fix something to make ice with.” Farley declared and didn’t miss for a second that his standing in this little outpost of commerce had gone up three notches from the time he first came in the store.

“Ice? Seriously? You all got a way to make ice over there?” Barnett said incredulously.

“Well not quite yet, Smitty, that’s the insurance salesman that everybody bitches at cause they bought insurance from him that is pretty worthless now and the fact that he seems to have less than the rest of us when it comes to basic poor man or lake living skills, he has a portable icemaker that doesn’t work any more and I am going to try to either fix it and get it producing again or figure out how many batteries it takes to run one of those on a refrigerator. It’s a huge experiment with half remembered things by me and the truth is I don’t remember much when it comes to electronics math. The schoolteacher is trying to figure it out for me but we will get it done one day.” Farley declared enjoying the fix it or invent it talk all men sometimes enjoy.

“If you ever manage to get ice then you sure got yourself something special there, boy.” Barnett told Farley.

“Don’t you know it? Hopefully it wont be too long until I get it all worked out. Ha! I bet you lower your price on beer to me if I could trade you back with cold ones!” Farley said laughing.

“How much ice can one of them things, I think you said a portable maker, produce in a day, Farley?” Frazier asked and for once since the first time Farley had seen him put his rifle down and forgot about it as he engaged in this conversation.

“That one Smitty has got said it was rated at 30 lbs. of ice per day, so that’s about 3 good bags of ice. We can do it, I figure, because all those boats don’t have to be water ready and just like pooling the gas we are all dedicated to the cause. Everyone agreed the marine batteries off the boats that chipped in on the gas could go towards making us a communal battery bank to try for lights or running water. We plan on just keeping one motor boat up and running and the rest can sit at the docks or run off of trolling motors.” Farley said weaving his elaborate ruse on the fly that he was somehow settled in and living with several lakefront households.

“Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.”
― Sun Tzu,
The Art of War

“You work that ice maker thing out, Farley, and then you come back and visit again real soon. Let’s see now, you said you got 20 gallons of gas for trading.” Barnett began.

“No cans included because the owners want them back.” Farley declared.

“Ah hell, go find something to put that gas in Frazier.” Barnett told him.

“How about I pour it in my car? Ok Barnett, I was just kidding, I am on it.” Frazier said and then set about finding something after Barnett raised his eyebrows at him about his joke.

“My current selling gas price when I can get it is $20.00 a gallon, might go up to $25 soon enough. I will give you $10.00 a gallon, man has got to make himself a profit.” Barnett said.

“Yea this man also has to make a profit, how about that, you give me $15, Barnett.” Farley said.

“I will see you in the middle at $12.50.” Barnett said offering his hand.

“Not so fast, Barnett, you are probably going to jack your selling price to $25 probably the very second I get out the door and besides if you don’t, $5 a gallon is more than a decent profit for you to make on gas. Hell, before this crap hit service stations were lucky to make a nickel or a dime off of it.” Farley declared.

“Well, I ain`t no service station. Take the $12.50, Farley, and I will throw in one chicken.” Barnett said with a grin.

“Holding out with a chicken, you are a piece of work. Barnett. Ok. deal.” Farley said shaking hands.             

“That’s $300, in your favor and you get your cans back. That leaves you owing me $300 more, you want to dicker some more or do you want to pay cash.” Barnett said still hoping for some silver.