Doira'Liim (The Beautiful Whisper of the Goddess Saga) (11 page)

     "Do you?" he demanded. Talliea nodded, her eyes closing, as her tears slipped past her closed lids. "Good. Esuval will allow you a second chance to remember your place. Waste not that chance on whimsical ideals."

     Lao'dahn stood and left without another word. Rolling over, Talliea brought her knees up to her chest and cried.

             
                                                        *  *  *  *  *  *

     Several hours later saw the break of the sun upon the horizon of the world. Life began anew for the Esu clan, and fires were soon surrounded by small groups talking, cooking, and sharing stories. Talliea walked around the settlement with her head down. Small progress had been achieved on the stone houses the Esu men were working to complete, and winter crops could be seen on the plains beyond. A group of women worked to treat several rough animal hides while another group peeled a variety of vegetables.

     Talliea walked over to a lone fire and sat herself beside it. A brisk early morning wind blew through her hair. Around her shoulders, her cloak was wrapped and she nuzzled into it further to block herself from the blowing chill of wind.

     Markahn walked up to her and came to stand beside her. "Talliea," he said in an even tone. Shoulders hunched and eyes downcast, Talliea responded, "Yes, Markahn?"

     "Look at me," he said and she did as he told her. "You have two seasons left to you before we join or you are banished." She nodded. "Yes."

     "I would greatly desire that you be happy when we are mated." Talliea could say nothing in return. She knew happiness would be ever elusive to her. What would make her happy would be to become her own person. To love who she wished. To be valued and appreciated. There was nothing Markahn could say or do that would ensure her happiness when they joined. She wondered if he would be rough with her like Lao'dahn had been. Would he move against her in so harsh a way that her back would be covered in bruises like it currently was? Where was the happiness in that existence?

     "Of course, Markahn," she said and hoped it would be enough to send him on his way. After last night's events, she wished she could disappear and never be looked at by another person again. Markahn glanced around the camp and saw his friend, Lao'dahn, coming toward them. He smiled and called out to the man. "Lao'dahn, a moment. I would have you bear witness to these words."

     Talliea, upon hearing Lao'dahn's name, jerked her head up in a wild panic and looked over her shoulder. She watched as the man smiled crookedly at her and came to join them. "Markahn," he greeted warmly before allowing his gaze to land on her. "Talliea."

     "I have words that Talliea will greatly wish to hear," Markahn said. Talliea looked back down and kept her eyes cast upon the fire. She could feel Lao'dahn's eyes on her back and his presence brought to her mind the night before. Whatever Markahn's words were, she wished he would say them quickly so she could get away from Lao'dahn.

     "Talliea, you have two seasons left to you," Markahn said again. "I give you those two seasons to do with your life as you please." Looking up suddenly, Talliea met his eyes. She heard Lao'dahn's gasp of disapproval behind her. "Markahn, you can not speak truly. You are giving Talliea complete freedom? After her actions?"

     Markahn nodded and smiled at his betrothed. "Yes, I am. She is, from this point forward, until such a time as we join, free to come and go as she so desires. None will stop you, Talliea, but know this: once you leave the borders of our camp, you leave also our protection. It is my hope that you will sate your wanderlust so that other lusts can then fill your mind."

     Talliea could do nothing more than stare up at Markahn in complete bafflement. He was giving her freedom? She no longer had to worry about getting caught? She could meet Arizira anytime she chose and have not the worry of time? She could get away from Lao'dahn?

     At the thought, the man stepped around her and moved to Markahn's side. "This is a mistake. She will bring only trouble!" Markahn dismissed his friend's words. "Then trouble she will bring, but only to herself. It is the risk she must take if her freedom she desires so greatly. Mayhap it will show her the value of our clan and of her place within it."

     Though he spoke to Lao'dahn, his eyes remained locked on Talliea's. "I am without the bonds of my position?" Talliea asked and Markahn nodded. "When?" she asked.

     "As of right now. I will speak of my decision to the rest of the clan. Lao'dahn has borne witness to my words and so their truth is verified. Go as you please when you please." Talliea stood up on shaky legs and started into Markahn's grey eyes. His generosity unnerved her. He was granting her free reign over her own life? For two seasons, she had only herself to answer to? Looking into his eyes, she wondered if perhaps she could grow to love him. He was not without kindness and he was so very different from Lao'dahn.

     Thinking of him caused her to turn her gaze upon the man. Lao'dahn eyed her with open contempt and disgust. She fought the extreme urge to laugh at him and instead stepped around the two men. "Then I choose to depart now," she said.

      "Then go," Markahn replied before turning around and taking Lao'dahn with him. As promised, none tried to stop her when she crossed the borders of the camp, just as none followed her once she was safely among the towering trees of the forest.

             
                                                        * * * * * *

     She moved through the forest for many strides. Time became lost to her as she stepped over stones and passed through tangles of vines and fallen leaves. She headed in the general direction of the glade she'd first discovered, but soon turned her feet farther north. The glade was too close to her camp. It was too close to Lao'dahn.

     Moving along the northern edge of tall trees that housed the glade nearby, Talliea noticed a small stream of water that most likely stemmed from the pond in the clearing. Following it, she soon came upon a wide and very open area. Rock formations, silvery-grey and white, rose high towards the sky and reflected the shadows from the tall pines around them. She stepped down a small incline thick with pine needles, and walked further into the secluded section.

     All she desired was to put as much space between herself and Lao'dahn as possible. She did not desire to give him an opportunity to follow her. His actions, the way he had moved on top of her, were still too vivid in her mind. She was cold and her feet ached from so much walking, but still she kept moving. Despite being hungry, she moved deeper into the forest and the secluded section she'd stumbled across.

     Far in the distance, rising above the horizon's rim, Talliea noticed a great peak capped with fine white snow. As she came fully into the area, she realized that at its center was a huge body of steaming water. Flat rocks broke the surface of the pool in a strange pattern, and the heat coming from the pool enticed her closer. She bent down once at the water's edge and gingerly dipped her fingers into the steaming spring.

     It was hot but not overly so. She'd discovered a thermal spring! Shedding herself of her clothing, Talliea quickly submerged herself into the inviting heat. She did not stop to think on her actions. She felt the warmth of the water mix with the rising steam and nearly all of her sorrows melted around her. Dipping her head under the water, she scrubbed at her face and neck until she felt confident that Lao'dahn was no longer on her skin.

     As she looked up at the trees and rocks keeping guard over her, she sighed and smiled happily to herself. She was free to remain as long as she wished. No one was looking for her and there was no worry of having to sneak back into the camp later on. Her feelings of anguish from the night before seemed so far removed that she could almost convince herself the experience had never happened. When her skin began to burn slightly with the heat of the spring, Talliea waded back to the edge of the water but stopped.

     Her clothing was missing. Had some animal come amongst her while she'd allowed her mind to drift? Perhaps Lao'dahn had followed her? The thought left a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Scanning her eyes around the spring, she held her breath as near silence met her ears. Apart from the gentle lap of water and the songs of birds, there was nothing else to help her understand what had become of her clothing. Though the spring was warm, she knew once she was on dry land again, the chill of winter would have her.

     "Missing something, Tah-li?" A voice startled her from behind causing her to jump in the water. Turning around, she looked up and saw Arizira sitting on a low tree branch that extended over the spring. In her hand were Talliea's missing articles of clothing. The other woman was smiling down at her with a playful expression, and over her shoulder was a white fur cloak or blanket of some kind.

     Talliea briefly wondered how it was that Arizira seemed always to know where she was. Her thoughts drifted for a time until she realized she was completely naked. How long had Arizira been watching her? "Give me my clothes," she demanded, keeping her body under the water.

     Arizira turned her head to the side, unsure what to make of Talliea's tone. All playful mischief drained from her face and she lightly let herself fall from the branch and onto a flat and smooth rock above the water's surface. "Of course, Tah-li. I was merely having fun and meant no insult." She left Talliea's clothing on the rock and jumped to the land around the spring in one easy motion. Keeping her back turned, she waited for Talliea to dress.

     No sounds of movement met her ears and she turned back around to find the other woman in the same spot, her eyes still looking in her direction with suspicion. "Tah-li?" she asked. Talliea looked from where her clothes were to where Arizira stood. "What are you doing here? Have you been following me?" she asked in a cold and accusatory tone.

     Again, Arizira shrank back from Talliea's blunt response. She could not understand why the Esu woman was so upset with her. She had not been following Talliea. No, she had set out the day before, once her tribe was fast asleep, and wandered through the forest in deep thought. She'd grabbed the blanket she made for Talliea just in the hopes she would stumble across her.

     As she'd been walking, a sudden feeling washed over her. The feeling was the same one she'd experienced ever since meeting Talliea. Somehow, when Talliea was in the forest, Arizira knew about it and was always able to find her without difficulty. She could not explain how she did so.

     "No, Tah-li, I have not shadowed your steps," she said cautiously. "I have just let my feet lead me where they may. Was chance that brought me to you." Talliea was silent for a moment while she digested the other woman's words. Arizira's eyes spoke of honesty, and her body language told Talliea that she was not sure how to handle her strong words. Relaxing slightly, she moved toward the rock where her clothes were.

     Arizira turned her back again, sensing her friend's desire for privacy, but spoke over her shoulder. "Use your cloak to dry yourself, Tah-li, so your remaining clothes do not keep water. I have something that will aid in your warmth." Talliea did as Arizira suggested and soon found herself fairly dry. She dressed in her skirts and blouse and met the Arniran woman on dry land.

     Arizira turned around and smiled shyly before presenting the blanket over her shoulder. "I made this for you," she said. "It will keep you warm while the winter holds the land." Talliea took the item and felt guilt consume her. She'd been rude to Arizira and spoken rashly. Her words had not truly been directed at the other woman, but with recent events, the idea that yet another person was choosing to violate her and her privacy had been too much.

     "I'm sorry," she whispered and looked up into Arizira's eyes. With the sun so bright in the sky, the Arniran's eyes were a vibrant shade of blue. "Thank-you." Arizira smiled and nodded. Her eyes moved over Talliea's face. It had been ten days since they'd last seen one another and Arizira had missed Talliea greatly. More so than she believed she should. A darker spot along the Esu woman's neck caught Arizira's attention and she raised her hand before thinking. Her fingers softly grazed across Talliea's skin and instantly she was assaulted with a strong influx of emotions.

      Panic.

      Fear.

     Desperation.

     The emotions were not her own; that much she knew. They were Talliea's, or at least they had been. She heard Talliea gasp and her body tensed beneath her touch.

     "Someone hurt you," Arizira said. Though her eyes were open, they did not look at Talliea. They seemed to look through her. She continued to move her fingers across the other woman's skin while the feelings relentlessly fell upon her. What was she experiencing?  Reaching up with her right hand, Arizira pushed Talliea's collar aside and brushed her fingers along the top of her breast. The touch was not sexual, but exploratory.

     Somehow, through touching Talliea, Arizira was experiencing the feelings she had experienced when she'd received the marks on her skin; when someone had brought her pain. "Someone hurt you," she said again, hands moving in a search for answers. "They put these bruises upon her body."

     Arizira's words were frantic and rushed. Her accent was heavier. She felt sick and saddened, but was unsure if the emotions belonged to her or to Talliea. "Who hurt you? Who hurt you?" she asked over and over again. Her fingers continued to brush across the bluish and black bruises of Talliea's neck and chest.