Doira'Liim (The Beautiful Whisper of the Goddess Saga) (39 page)

     Arizira had done nothing to hurt her. She had only been doing what Talliea had asked. She had only been giving in to the feelings they both shared for one another. For her actions, for the expression of her emotions, she had been injured and placed into a tormenting dream of pain and fever.

     As Talliea had held her, and the day had found its end, she had made a promise to herself to explain why she had reacted the way she did. Looking into Arizira's pale and pained face, Talliea took a deep breath and let her mind come back to the present.

     "Ari, I am so sorry. You have to know that I would never -- will never -- hurt you. I care for you. So much."

     "I know," Arizira replied looking back into Talliea's eyes. "I know."

     Tears becoming heavier, Talliea blinked and let them fall down her cheeks. "You do not. You did nothing wrong. Your actions, Ari, were stoking a fire upon my body and within my spirit. It was not you that I reacted so harshly to."

     "I know," Arizira said again. Her eyelids were heavy and her speech came to Talliea's ears with a heavier accent. "It was him. The man who hurt you." Talliea's eyebrows drew together and she felt the air in her lungs become weighted. "What?"

     Arizira took a deep breath and fought the desire she felt to give in to the black void lurking just along the edges of her mind. She remembered her reality, her thoughts, blurring with Talliea's as she had seen Lao'dahn's body on top of her own. The panic, the fear and the revulsion, had all seemed as if they had been born of her own reactions. But they had been Talliea's. Somehow she had not only experienced her love's memory, she had been witness to it.

     She had been a part of it.

     His actions, though curious to her, had been forced upon Talliea to bring about suffering, trepidation, and uneasiness. As much as Talliea's violent reaction had hurt her, both physically and emotionally, Arizira understood why it had taken place.

     "I saw him, Tah-li, the man who placed his body over yours. I know what he did. I know how he sought to...defile your perfection." Tallie's throat felt dry and she knew her eyes were wide with an unknowing air. "H-how do you know this?"

     Eyes closing briefly, Arizira struggled to keep talking so she could explain herself. The desire to return to sleep was heavy, as was also the weight of her voice. "I have no answer, Tah-li. I f-felt your panic as though it were my own. I experienced your terror as he...I am not certain what his actions were. I do not understand your people or their habits. My mind tells me that his act was wrong and that he hurt you. That is all."

     Talliea's eyes lowered for a moment as she tried to understand the implications behind Arizira's words. How had she shared in Talliea's remembrance of the attack? It was not the first time Arizira had felt what she had, nor was she the only one among them to have experienced such a phenomenon. The knowledge that Arizira had seen what Lao'dahn had done to her left her feeling embarrassed and undesirable.

     Struggling to find her voice, she looked back up and noticed Arizira's eyes were staring back at her. There was no judgment in their depths, nor pity. "Is...i-is it common to share in this way when two people do as we were?" she asked feeling suddenly shy.

     Arizira, eyes half-lidded and breathing coming in slow even takes, shook her head slowly. "It is not."

     "You have never shared the experiences of another woman when you...were close?"

     "No."

     "It is not common," Talliea said, more to herself than to Arizira. Arizira smiled, the fingers she had on Talliea's wrist moving to connect their fingers. "Nothing about you is common,
failira
. I told you, we share a bond now. Everything I do with you is new, as if the first wind of spring."

     Talliea allowed Arizira's words to settle within her mind. She thought back to her own experiences wherein she had been able to divine Arizira's location without fully understanding how she had done such a thing. She recalled feeling Arizira's pain during the night and experiencing her indecision over whether or not she should give in to her desires.

     How were the two of them able to share emotions and thoughts and sensations? Originally, Talliea had been of the belief that what she was going through was common, that all people experienced similar situations such as she and Arizira. She had thought that when two people began to explore one another, it was only customary that an exchange of reflection and understanding would take place.

     Hearing Arizira, who had mated with two others before, inform her that such an occurrence was not commonplace made Talliea's mind swirl inside itself. What did everything mean?

     She let her eyes fall over Arizira's face. She could still see the furrow that was present near her love's lips and brows that indicated the level of pain currently being experienced. Arizira's fingers were entwined with her own, her eyes having closed once again, and Talliea smiled thinking that her presence was somehow helping the smaller woman. A thought came to her suddenly as her mind replayed their conversation.

     "Ari?" she asked, but Arizira did not reply.

     Talliea sighed upon realizing that she had fallen asleep again. Her hand was still supporting Arizira's neck while their fingers were still joined near her chest. Looking over her love's features, Talliea voiced the question she had desired an answer of for so long.

     "What does
failira
mean?"

             
                                                        *  *  *  *  *  *

     Three days later, being the fifth day since Arizira's accident, Talliea awoke much like she had the days before. She noticed Arizira had, some time during the night, rolled into her and was currently more on her back than her side.

     Silver hair was plastered to Arizira's neck and the sides of her face and Talliea surmised that her fever had broken. She gently extracted herself from Arizira and helped her into a more comfortable position. The Arniran woman slept without a hitch even as her body was moved.

     "I shall return, love," Talliea whispered, her words not fully registering in her mind. She ran her fingers over Arizira's wound, the other woman now lying on her left side, and noticed the swelling and discoloration had once again lessened.

     Attributing Arizira's recovery to the
dohethra
she'd been applying, Talliea quickly stood and made ready to leave the cave for her morning ablutions. She wrapped her cloak around her shoulders and grabbed both her dagger and one of Arizira's longer sabres. Strapping a pack with bathing essentials over her shoulder, she left as quietly as she had awakened.

     When she came to the hot spring, Talliea was immediately refreshed by the steam rising from the pool. The snow on the ground had melted being so close to the pool's heat and a wet, brownish-green, grass covered the land as it descended down the slope. Everything was quiet so early in the morning and Talliea found her mind full of wayward thoughts and jumbling questions.

     As she removed her clothing and slowly dipped her body into the warm waters of the spring, she could not help but think over everything that had so recently transpired in her life. Her thoughts took her back to when she'd first met Arizira and she remembered, even then, feeling a sense of attraction and a pull for connection. She recalled how magical Arizira had appeared to her and how, even after their first encounter, her mind had been unable to think upon anything or anyone else.

     Dunking her head under the water, Talliea soaked her thick raven locks completely before grabbing the cypress oil soap from its wooden container. She brought the soap to a lather and began to gingerly apply it through her hair.

     Her thoughts once again begged for attention. Had she always been meant to meet Arizira? Had her fate been decided long before her people had ever thought to travel to the Northlands? Often, when Arizira was asleep and Talliea's eyes would drink in the sight of her, it felt as if she was where she had always been destined to be. With her. With Arizira. Her love. In those moments, nothing else in the world mattered to Talliea. There was no Markahn. There was no Lao'dahn. The knowledge that she and Arizira were from two distinctly different peoples did not exist.

     Myth. Fact. Legend -- none of those things were of any importance to Talliea when she was so near to Arizira. All that mattered was the two of them. All that mattered was their feelings for one another.

     That was why she desired to bond with Arizira. She knew, without fully understanding how she knew, that the act would go far beyond just a physical expression of their emotions. She knew their coming together would finally sate her need for Arizira completely. It would unify them, and the thirst she held for the other woman would no longer feel so unobtainable.

     Again, how she knew such things was beyond her. When she thought over matters rationally, she felt silly for following something she had no experience in. As crazy as her actions and her thoughts may have appeared to some, Talliea was confident that she was doing what was best.

     Being with Arizira was for the best. Despite their respective peoples' history and stark differences, Talliea knew she would not change one moment of her time with Arizira. The Arniran woman had brought her joy and happiness. She had helped to nurture her personality and bring out the funny, smart, and caring woman that had been repressed for over twenty years.

     Rinsing the soap out of her hair, Talliea looked up above into the heavy and moving clouds. The sun was barely visible as it fought to pierce the earth beneath with its warming rays. The clouds were full and dark with an impending rain or snow and the wind blew lightly through the trees around the spring. Talliea sighed and once again her thoughts traveled to Arizira.

     She hoped she was doing the right thing in keeping Arizira with her. Would the other woman fare better amongst her own people? Was Talliea being selfish in keeping her out in the cold and snowy winter when she had been so severely injured?

     Even if she could get Arizira to agree to seeking out her people's aid, how was she to get her there alone in her condition? She knew she could carry Arizira for most of the way, but there would still be the weather to contend with and she did not know the land as well as her companion.

     If she somehow did manage to make it to Arizira's tribe, wherever it was, how was she to explain herself? Arizira had been in and out of consciousness. If she were lost to her delirium and her pain, she would not be able to speak for Talliea and translate her intentions.

     No, going to the Arnira for help was of no use. There were too many factors to consider and most of them held negative consequences. Talliea entertained the idea of seeking her own people's aid, more specifically Taetylona's, but quickly dismissed the notion as a fool's folly. There was no way her clan would aid a creature they all still believed to be a myth. They would sooner interrogate Arizira than offer their healing. Besides, there was no guarantee that Markahn would allow her to leave again if she returned to the settlement.

     She could not risk Arizira in that way, in any way.

     Still the voice in the back of her mind nagged: Was she doing the best by Arizira by keeping her by her side? She argued with herself that, yes, she was doing what was best. Arizira's wound was looking better. She had moved during the night and had not cried out in pain. She had been on her back without difficulty. Though she was sleeping more than Talliea liked, Arizira
was
healing.

     How exactly she was doing so was lost to Talliea. Like so many other things. Apart from applying the
dohethra
mixture twice a day and attempting to clean Arizira's wound, she was doing nothing special that could account for the rapid pace of healing taking place.

     She kept Arizira warm and when she was awake, she ensured she was fed and had plenty of water, but that was all she was doing. Maybe Arizira was healing herself? Did the Arnira have recuperative abilities? Arizira had not mentioned as much, but that did not mean such a thing was not so.

     Lathering the soap into a rich foam, Talliea proceeded to wash her body and try to slow the pace of her errant thoughts. She was thinking too much. Everything was going to be fine. Nothing was going to separate the two of them. Arizira had helped to ease her pain when she had been hurting. She had cared for Talliea and set out on their current journey.

     Talliea was determined to return the gesture. She was going to take care of Arizira and remove the pain she had brought to her body. Nothing else mattered. Only them. Only her.

                                                        Chapter 28: The Milestone

     Several long minutes passed as Talliea let her negative thoughts leave her mind. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on other matters. Matters pertaining to a beautiful, fair-skinned, and gentle Arniran woman.

     She smiled when she recalled their first kiss. It had been so innocent, yet so full of passion and hidden desire. She remembered how her lips had tingled -- how they still tingled -- with the addictive taste of mint, and how Arizira's lips had been so soft in comparison to Markahn's. Floating in the middle of the hot spring, her thoughts continued to drift.

     She remembered Arizira's hands on her body from only a few days before. She could still recall, in vivid detail, how dark Arizira's eyes had become when her jerkin had fallen away. The way her gaze had swept over Talliea's breasts, nothing but appreciation and adoration on her face, had set something off inside Talliea.

     Something primal and needy. Something deep.

     She had wanted Arizira in that moment like never before. She had wanted to feel her body and explore the sensations rushing over her senses. Everything had been so perfect. That is, until Lao'dahn's assault on her had resurfaced and she had hurt the woman she loved. She found herself wondering if she had shattered any future chances with Arizira. Did the other woman fear her now? Fear her touch?

     Had Talliea damaged more than just Arizira's body? Were they, too, now broken with no sure remedy in sight? The thought caused Talliea's chest to spasm painfully and hot tears burned behind her closed eyelids. Taking a deep breath, and calming herself in the process, she pushed such unwanted thoughts aside.

     Before she could focus on a possible happier future, a familiar feeling suddenly came over her. Like a heavy and welcome blanket, it settled around her senses and invaded her mind. Pleasant sensations began to course through her body and push aside her overwhelming and heavy thoughts of self loathing. She sat up in the water and turned to look around the edges of the spring.

     "Ari?" she called, recognizing the feeling as the one she experienced while in Arizira's presence. She was unable to reconcile why she was being rewarded with its effects when the two of them were so far apart.

     Her eyes fought a difficult battle in their search for Arizira. She squinted and traced her gaze over every rock and tree she could find. Why was she feeling what she was if Arizira was not nearby? Had something happened? Was Arizira somehow in more pain? Was that why she was experiencing what she was?

     No, no, that could not be right. Why would she feel a sense of peace if Arizira was in such a state? It felt as if the other woman was close, but how could she be? She was barely able to move. She had said as much.

     Swallowing her sudden bout of nerves, Talliea began to slowly swim to the edge of the spring where the water met drier land. "Ari? she tried again. "Ahmanae?"

     As she neared the bank of the water, movement caught her attention. She turned her head to the right and was stunned to see the object of her musings standing before her. Arizira had managed to get her jerkin around her shoulders and her cloak was held to the front of her chest with her left hand. She was leaning against a tree with a whitish-brown bark and Talliea could tell her trek to the spring had been taxing.

     "Ari, oh, what madness has brought you here? Your body has not given you leave to push yourself like this!" Talliea rushed toward her, not caring about her current nude appearance. Before she could clear the water, Arizira took a slow and steady breath and stopped her with a look. Talliea slowed, her lower half still hidden beneath the warm water.

     "I awoke to the day without you next to me. My pain was less," Arizira stated, her voice sounding tired but stronger than it had. "What have you done, Tah-li?" The question was posed with awe and disbelief.

     Talliea looked confused. "Done? What meaning hides behind your words, Ari?" Arizira took a step toward Talliea. Her movements were stiff and her eyes still carried the evidence of her pain. "No hidden meaning, Tah-li. Only truth. I am somewhat at a loss."