Doira'Liim (The Beautiful Whisper of the Goddess Saga) (36 page)

      Her heart was beating frantically as Arizira lowered herself even more until her weight was resting against her body. The added pressure sent Talliea to another place. Another time. Before Arizira could proceed any farther, a strong sense of panic assaulted her insides. Arizira looked down at Talliea and cocked her head to the side. "Tah-li?" she asked in a concerned voice.

"You're a beautiful woman, Talliea. I'll give you that. It is your mouth that gives you trouble. You use it too often. I won't allow you to continue to defy Esuval. You need to be reminded of your place."

     Talliea closed her eyes and tried to force herself back into the present. Arizira was not Lao'dahn. She did not touch her the way he had and yet...

     Lao'dahn had been the last person to lean over her. He had made her feel trapped and scared. His weight had been a burden to her, a reminder of the power she did not hold. Struggling to breathe, she vaguely registered Arizira's sweet and concerned voice before she was once again lost to the past.

  
  "Y-you can not do this. Markahn will have you banished."

     Lao'dahn's voice and her encounter with him sounded inside her head over and over again.

    
"You feel that? That is the power of Esuval, whore. It lives in us. In men! As a woman, you can not fully appreciate that power, even when we mate with you. But, I'll show you."

     She remembered him rubbing his large hands over her breasts roughly and the way his erection had felt being thrust against her through her clothing. He had held her down and used her body for his own desires. She had cried and she had begged and those actions had only seemed to drive him on.

     "Tah-li?" Arizira's voice came to her mind again and she blinked a few times in an effort to leave Lao'dahn and his cruel act behind. Arizira's face came into her view and she started to laugh happily upon realizing where she was and who she was with, only to have the laugh turn into a sob.

    
"Don't think about calling for help."

    
He was too close to her. She could not breathe, could not move.

  
  "You will keep your eyes fast upon me. Do you understand?"

     Over and over, his words echoed in her ears while the visions associated with those words assaulted her mind. She could remember the way he had grabbed his erection and thrust it nearly into her face. He had moved on top of her so forcefully he had caused the rocks beneath her to become buried in her back.

     She had been bruised and she had bled and she had hurt and Lao'dahn had continued to abuse her.

  
  "This is Esuval. This brings life into the world. You are only the vessel. You carry our seed. That is all."

     "N-no...no...n-n-no," the words left her lips as she argued with the memory of Lao'dahn. He was too close to her. He was restricting her movements and making her feel trapped. He was too close.

     He was too close. She had to get away from him. She had to get him off of her before he raped her, before he hurt her anymore. She was afraid. She could not escape him.

     "Tah-li? Are you well?
Failira?
Focus on me."

     Arizira's voice, her sweet and gentle voice, failed to reach Talliea. She was far too panicked. In her mind, the body on top of her was Lao'dahn. He was hurting her. Humiliating her. She had to fight back. She had to get away. He was too close.

     He was too close.

     Pushing up against the body above her own, Talliea shoved with all her might. Esu strength surged through her limbs as she, in her mind, fought off her attacker. She heard the surprised gasp that came with the action and was about to smile in triumph until she came back to herself and her surroundings.

Her dugout changed to a cave.  The grunt that came to her ears was not that belonging to a man, but a woman. She was not with Lao'dahn. She was with...

     Arizira.

     Looking over to where she had heard the painful grunt, Talliea was horrified to notice Arizira's body huddled on the ground near the flat-faced rock she'd sat upon earlier. Her shoulders were hunched and she appeared to be unable to move.

     "Ahmanae?" she ventured in a meek tone. Arizira did not respond. She continued to breathe slowly and deeply as she kept her head down. "A-Ari?" Talliea asked again, sitting up and reaching for her top. What had she done?

     She had not meant to hurt Arizira and the possibility that she could have shattered her. How had matters become so twisted? How had they ended up here instead rejoicing in one another?

     Lao'dahn had taken something precious away from her. From them. His actions still haunted her, Talliea came to understand, just as Arizira had said they did. Because of him and his treatment of her, she had possibly injured the person who mattered most to her. The images her mind had produced had seemed so real and vivid. She had truly believed Lao'dahn was abusing her. She had heard him. Seen him. Smelled him.

But, it had not been him. It had been Arizira. Wrapping her jerkin around her shoulders, Talliea quickly crossed the short distance that kept her from Arizira. "Ahmanae? I-I am sorry. Please, are you hurt? Did I hurt you?" she asked, bending down to inspect the suddenly small body of her love.

     Arizira raised her head slowly and Talliea was stricken to see the pain coloring their depths. "It is okay, Tah-li. We should not have," she hissed in pain before repeating, "We should not have."

     Talliea swallowed her guilt and closed her eyes. Arizira was correct. She had told her that she was not ready and still, Talliea had not wanted to listen. She had not entertained the possibility that Lao'dahn's attack still haunted her.

     Was that it then? Was she always going to be plagued by his disrespectful act? Was she cursed, doomed to never experience another side to a person's touch? To Arizira's touch? She refused to believe that. Their encounter had come about quickly and heatedly and she had not been prepared for everything. That was all. She knew Arizira would not hurt her. She knew her touch would not--did not--bring her pain.

     "Are you hurt? Can you sit up?" she asked, her voice trembling.

     Arizira attempted to offer her a cocky smile, but the pain in her back turned the smile into a grimace. When Talliea had pushed her, her back had collided with the flat rock behind her and fractured one of her shoulder blades while severely bruising the other. She had felt her breath knocked from her lungs while the hard stone impacted her upper back.

     Arizira could feel the warmth of her blood as it stained her jerkin and knew that the accident had broken her skin. She chastised herself for her weakness, for giving into Talliea when she had known the other woman was not ready. She had herself to thank for her current discomfort.

     It had just felt so good to give into Talliea. She had felt at peace and at home and the desire to continue had been too powerful to ignore. Talliea had felt incredibly wonderful beneath her fingers. Her sounds, her reactions, her body -- they had all fascinated Arizira immensely.

     She had craved more and that had been wrong. They had rushed. That, too, had been wrong. "I am okay," she lied not wanting to upset Talliea, though the weariness and strain in her voice belied the statement.

     Talliea shook her head and finally noticed the red mark between Arizira's shoulder blades. That was why she would not sit up. She was unable. Tears sprang to her eyes and she felt her throat tighten in distress. "Oh, Ari. I am so sorry. Please forgive me."

     Arizira nodded at her and looked up. "The fault is my own,
failira
. I should have stopped us. I am sorry I did not."  Shaking her head, the act causing her tears to fall, Talliea placed her hand near the blood on Arizira's back. "I will take care of you. Okay? I will take care of you."

     Arizira smiled and nodded before the effort to remain sitting up became too much. She allowed herself to collapse into Talliea's embrace while her pain washed over her. She felt Talliea lean over her and was reminded of the time she had found the other woman by the thermal spring so long ago.

     That had been the day she discovered someone had hurt Talliea. As Talliea leaned over her and tentatively kissed the back of her neck, her last thought before the pain became too much was that Talliea was
incredibly
strong.

                                                        Chapter 25: Mending

     Arizira groaned and attempted to roll over onto her back. Something rough stopped her as the pain between her shoulders alerted her to her position. She was on her side, facing the mouth of the cave. Talliea's blanket was draped over her chest and shoulders and she realized she was topless. Opening her eyes slowly, she tried to concentrate through the blurry images dancing in her field of vision. A steady and deep throbbing sensation was causing the space between her shoulders to feel as if it were on fire.

     Any small movement she made with her arms trailed back to add to the pressure she felt behind her, and the intensity from the wound caused her eyes to water. Opening her eyes fully and allowing her surroundings to come into focus, she tried to recall her last memory.

     "Ari?" Talliea's voice came to her ears before her face swam into view from above. "How do you fare, Ahmanae?"

     Arizira lowered her brows and tried to recall how she had come to be half-naked next to the fire. The last thing she remembered was trying to calm Talliea. The Esu woman had panicked when the two of them were...

     Her mind clouded over with a myriad amount of convoluted images. She remembered Talliea kissing her and asking for her touch in a raspy whisper. She remembered the way Talliea's body had felt so close to her own. She could still taste the other woman’s lips and her fingers still tingled from the smooth perfection of Talliea's skin.

     She had given into her desire. That much was not lost to her. Talliea had been so lustful. Her actions had both surprised and aroused Arizira. The way Talliea had touched her. The sounds she had made...

     Arizira licked her dry lips and closed her eyes as she tried to piece together the fragments of her broken memory. What had happened? Had she and Talliea bonded? If that were so, it would explain her current state of dress…or, lack thereof. She felt soft fingers brush away the hair resting on the side of her face and the action caused her to open her eyes again.

     "Ari?" Talliea called.

     Glancing up, Arizira winced when a sharp pain shot between her shoulders. Talliea had shoved her. She remembered now. Before the two of them could have gone any further, Talliea had panicked and, in the process, injured her. Everything came back to Arizira at once and with her memories, the pain she felt grew.

     "Tah-li?" she said in a small voice tinged with pain. "I am here," Talliea responded from behind her. Struggling to turn over so that she could properly look into Talliea's face, Arizira gasped in pain when the action sent white hot tendrils of discomfort into her back.

     "Do not try to move, Ahmanae. I have you on your side to keep you off of your back." Arizira swallowed the cry she could feel wishing to be free from her throat and settled down once more. Her heart was beating rather erratically and she could not remember ever feeling so restricted. She realized the rough object she had noticed earlier was one of their cloaks rolled up to keep her on her side.

     Taking a deep and slow breath, she tried to calm herself and ignore the steady and frightening pain located in her upper back. "What happened?" she asked roughly.

     Talliea's face contorted as she tried in vain to keep her tears from falling. Running her fingers through Arizira's fine hair, she replied, "I hurt you. I am so sorry." Arizira shook her head and let her eyes become focused on the fire dancing not far away. "It was an accident," she said quietly.

     She felt Talliea lift the blanket covering her back, and a moment later fingers were brushing over the area responsible for her discomfort. Though the touch was light, her skin reacted and she jerked slightly intensifying her pain. The wound was extremely sensitive.

     "I do not have any skill in healing, Ari. I washed your wound and tried to give you comfort from its pain, but I do not know how to make you whole."

     Arizira's insides knotted as she listened to the sad and broken voice of her love. She could hear how lost Talliea was and it pained her to know she had suffered alone while she had slept. "Describe it to me," she said, trying to give her mind something else upon which to think.

     Talliea sniffed and cleared her throat, her tears continuing to fall down her face, before looking down at Arizira's injury. "It is dark, Ari. The wound is a shadow upon your skin. It is as if your very blood cries beneath the surface. The rock scratched you when you...w-when you fell. The area is swollen. I thought to apply
dohethra
, but I knew not how to mix the paste."

     "It will not ease this, Tah-li," Arizira interrupted. Talliea came up short with her reply and exhaled sharply. How could it not help? The mixture had eased her own pain when Arizira had applied it. It could do so again. It had to. "It can," she insisted " Just tell me how to--"