Dolmarehn - Book Two of the Otherworld Trilogy (26 page)

I stood my ground as Drustan continued, “There were rumors she’d taken a Fomorian to her bed, now I can see the rumors were true.  And I let you touch me!”

Okay.  I hadn’t expected a reaction this bad, and after all I’d been through and after all my years of being made fun of, you’d think I’d be used to it.

Drustan turned violently and walked away, acting as if I had leprosy.  I allowed myself to fall against the alcove in the wall.  Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I tried to keep the tears from falling, but it was no use, especially when I glanced up to find Cade dancing with the stupid blond girl again.

I felt heart-broken and hopeless at the same time.  I thought I was finally escaping a world that had shunned me.  I imagined one day I’d be able to live in Eilé among my own people, to be normal for once in my life, but even in the Otherworld I wasn’t to be normal.

A wash of hot anger flooded me and I slammed my fist against the wall.  Wonderful, now my hand hurt and my tears fell faster.  To my immense relief, the alcove was tucked further into the hall where darkness reigned and the noise of the dancing, laughter and music drowned out the sound of my sobs.

I pulled myself deeper into the recessed space and wrapped my arms around my legs, dropping my head onto my knees.  I don’t know how much time passed, but at one point someone touched my shoulder.  I flinched and forgot about wanting to be left alone in my misery.  I glanced up, my face contorted in rage and self-pity, ready to yell at whoever came to bother me.

A pair of bright blue eyes framed by a mane of pale orange hair stopped me short.

“What’s the matter little Meghan?” the Dagda asked in a quiet voice.

Somehow, I heard his whispered words over the revelry in his dance hall.  My bottom lip quivered.  Despite my current mood, a sense of incredible happiness washed over me at the sight of him.  I didn’t know what it was about the Dagda that made me like him so much.  He was a promiscuous, loud giant of a man, but he had a gentleness and understanding way about him.  I guess this is what helped me trust him so easily.

I tried to open my mouth and tell him what had me so upset: Cade had found a new girl, my mother despised me, soon I’d be living in a strange world, separated from a family that actually loved me . . .  But at the moment all my sorrow came flooding out in one overwhelming wave of emotion.  I threw my arms around his neck and cried into his chest as he scooped me up.

“Hush now, little Faelorah, hush now,” he crooned as he carried me over to another room.

Once there, he set me down on a spacious couch next to a roaring fire.  The party still carried on in the other room, but the distant clamor didn’t drown out the sound of the whispering flames.

“Now,” the Dagda stated, picking up a pitcher and filling a small tankard with golden liquid, “you must tell me why the prettiest girl in my house is so upset on this, Beltaine Eve, of all nights.”

I grinned at his attempt to cheer me, but my tears still fell.

“I’m sorry Dagda,” I murmured, finally feeling a little ashamed of my behavior.  “I think, I think it’s just been so overwhelming.  Discovering I’m Faelorehn, being hunted by the Morrigan, learning I’m the illegitimate daughter of Eilé’s high queen.”

I let out a deep sigh, wiping my eyes with the handkerchief the Dagda had given me.

“Yes, and I’m sure witnessing your young Caedehn receive so much attention while keeping you at arms’ length isn’t helping.”

He grinned and I blushed.

“He isn’t my Caedehn,” I grumbled as I tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear.

“No?  Are you sure?” the Dagda said cheerily, as if speaking to a daft child who couldn’t grasp the obvious.

I blinked at him again, this time with some surprise.  His grin widened as he placed the tankard of mead in my hand.  The honey wine cooled my throat but warmed my stomach and as I savored it, I thought about his question.  No, I wasn’t sure.  That was the problem.  Well, okay, I had no doubts on my end, but not Cade’s.  Sometimes I was wholly convinced he returned my affections, but then he would do or say something to prove otherwise.  Like spending the whole evening with some other girl while I was left to dance with a cute boy who turned out to be a total ass.

I took a deep breath, then thought more about what Drustan had said to me.

“Drustan seemed to be appalled to learn I was the product of Danua’s affair.”

I stared the Dagda in the eye as the sadness welled up again.  “Do you treat me kindly only because I am half Fomorian?  Only because you feel sorry for me?”

The Dagda’s blue eyes hardened into ice and he frowned.  “Drustan o’Ceallaigh is an ignorant whelp.  What exactly did he say to you Meghan?”

The anger in his voice surprised me.

“When I told him about being Danua’s daughter, he went from being polite to acting as if I were something nasty he’d stepped in.”

The fire sputtered and almost went out, and the room vibrated with violence.  I set my mead down and cast the Dagda a worried glance.  He was angry; cold and angry.  Then the dark look passed.

“I’m sorry Meghan.  His behavior sickens me.”

I lifted a hand, glad to discover this god’s irritation had dissipated.

“It’s partly my fault.  I told him who I was without even considering what the repercussions might be.  I mean, I know my mother’s nobles weren’t too thrilled when she told them, but I didn’t think he would have reacted so, um, negatively to the truth.”

“And why did you tell him the truth?”

I frowned.  Yes, why had I . . . ?  Oh yeah, because he had made some comment about Cade.

“He said the younger girls didn’t realize what Cade was and if they found out, they’d be horrified.  It made me angry, so I got a little careless and told him I was Danua’s daughter.  I guess I did it to take his focus off of Cade.”  My own fear of what Drustan had insinuated, about Cade using me, I kept to myself.

The room grew cold again, the healthy fire nearly flickered out, and the cup of mead I held seemed to freeze in my hands.  Fear prickled my senses, and when I worked up enough nerve to glance at the Dagda, his face was blank and distant and his eyes appeared as dark as night.

Finally, he spoke, his voice low and cold, “And did he tell you, Meghan?  Did he tell you what Caedehn is?”

I set my icy tankard down with care and took a deep breath.

“No,” I said carefully, “I was too angry at the time to ask him.”  And too afraid.

The sigh coming from the Dagda might’ve been winter’s first icy breath.

I garnered my courage again.  “What is he, Dagda?”

My voice was a whisper, so I expected silence or more anger.  The sad hum that left the Dagda’s throat sounded like defeat; weariness even.  He ran his fingers through his hair, a motion that reminded me of his foster son, before letting his shoulders slump as he rested his chin on one hand.

“That, my dear girl, is Cade’s story to tell.  Don’t get me wrong, you deserve to know, but Caedehn should be the one to tell you.”

My own tension began to drain.  Yes, deep down I wished be told the entire truth.  For a long time I’d suspected Cade was more than what he seemed, but I could never figure it out.  I had always been too afraid to ask; terrified my terrible suspicions would prove true.  Cade had never opened up to me.  I think this is what hurt me the most, that he didn’t trust me enough to talk to me when he needed to.  And now I had people warning me to stay away from him.  I wanted to understand why.

“Your trust means a great deal to him, Meghan.  As secretive as he may seem, he would never betray it,” the Dagda whispered.

I jerked back on the couch, my eyes wide.  Had he read my mind?

“How’d you know that’s what I was thinking about?” I croaked.

The Dagda grinned, his pale blue eyes sparkling once again.  “It’s written all over your face darling.  For as long as I’ve lived, if I haven’t learned anything else, I’ve learned how to read a woman’s face.”

He winked, which made me laugh.

He sobered up again and took a deep breath.  “Promise me one thing Meghan, please?”

A hint of sorrow lingered in his words.  I gave him my full attention.

“When you do find out, please try to understand.  Please remember what he means to you and like you, he cannot help what he is.”

I shuddered.  That frightened me.  Could Cade’s secret really be so terrible?  Could it make me forget I loved him?

I took a long, steadying breath and answered, “I promise.  I would never betray his friendship.”

The Dagda nodded, the sadness still burning in his eyes, then clapped his hands together before standing.

“Now, let’s find something to help clean you up so we can return you to the festivities.  Midnight draws near, and you’ll not want to miss the show!”

I lifted my hands to my cheeks, wondering how awful I looked after blubbering half the night.

After washing my face and running my fingers through my hair, I rejoined the party.  Several couples were lined up in the center of the hall, laughing and kicking up their heels to a lively song.  I searched their faces and breathed a sigh of relief when I realized Cade wasn’t among them.

I focused on finding him then.  I felt pretty foolish about how I’d behaved earlier so I wanted to apologize if he had noticed.  I hoped he hadn’t seen how upset I’d been, but despite my embarrassment, I yearned to be with him for the rest of the night, especially after what Drustan had implied.  Perhaps Cade and I could be outcasts together.

My search of the room proved to be fruitless.  Just as I decided to give up and find a seat somewhere, I caught a glimpse of Drustan tucked away in another alcove, pressed up against the girl I’d seen Cade with earlier, whispering something in her ear.  She seemed to be listening intently to what he said, the distance across the hall doing nothing to hide the expression of horrified shock now taking the place of confusion on her pretty face.

Drustan’s grin revealed his malicious nature and the glint in his eye confirmed my suspicions.

I gritted my teeth. 
The Morrigan isn’t the only one capable of cruelty in this world
, I told myself.

Needing to cool my anger, I crossed the room, heading towards the entrance hall.  One of the Dagda’s guards eyed me with curiosity, but kindly stepped aside when I informed him I needed some air.  The night hinted of frost, despite the fact it was spring, and only a few people remained standing around the dwindling bonfire.

I wrapped my arms around myself and threw my head back, gazing up at the stars twinkling through the branches high above me.

“They can be overwhelming if you haven’t learned how to deal with them.”

Cade’s voice appearing out of the dark startled me a little.  I turned to glance at him and frowned.

“I didn’t display the best behavior in there myself,” I mumbled.

Cold anger seemed to flash across his face and disappear just as quickly.  “Drustan o’Ceallaigh had no right to treat you so callously.  If word got back to Danua-”

“How did you know?”  I cut him off, turning to gaze at him in the semi-dark with wide eyes.

Cade gave me a sad smile.  “The Dagda told me.”

“Oh.” I dearly hoped the Dagda hadn’t told him everything . . .

I sighed and cast my worry aside, focusing instead on what Cade had said about Danua.

“My mother wouldn’t care,” I grumbled as I turned to gaze back at the stars.

The gentle touch of Cade’s hands on my shoulders informed me he had moved closer.

“She cares Meghan, believe me, even though she doesn’t show it,” he murmured.  “In order to keep the balance of this world, she must not display emotion.  Someday she’ll be able to show you her true self.  Until then, you’ll just have to believe you have people here who,” Cade paused, as if he were giving careful consideration to his choice of words.  He released a tiny sigh and finished, “people who care for you.”

My face warmed.  A roughness tinged his voice, making my skin tingle, but I shook the sensation off.  I hoped he was right, about having true friends here in the Otherworld.  If, for some unforeseen reason things didn’t work out with Cade and me, I had others to help me with my new life.  The Dagda, for one, had made it clear I was welcome to stay with him, but I would worry about the details later.  Time to change the subject.

I turned my head and peered up at Cade.  He was watching me, making sure I didn’t bolt.

“How can you stand those people talking behind your back and treating you with scorn?” I whispered, my tone harsh.  “How do you tolerate their constant judgment and ridicule?”

“I learned to ignore them long ago.”

“How long ago?  How long does it take to get used to being an outsider?”

I really did want to know.  If I was assured that someday the harsh and spiteful words and actions of others would cease to bother me, perhaps I could tough it out for now.

Cade only grinned, the light of the bonfire cutting a fierce shadow across his face.

“That all depends on the person.  When you finally understand who you are, really understand, then their indifference won’t seem so bad.  Trust me.”