Don't Ever Stop: A BDSM Billionaire Romance (16 page)

I wasn’t sure where Mr. Cooper was standing, or if perhaps he’d walked away. The blood was pumping so hard in me now that I could hear my own heartbeat. My pulse was racing, and my ass was stinging. I felt my chest fishing and falling fast, but it was too contained by the ropes to breathe as hard as my lungs wanted to.

Eventually, though, my pulse slowed down, the stinging became sharper, more focused, so that I could feel the lines of exactly where the rod had hit me. I concentrated on the pain, weirdly enjoying the feeling of it. I had never felt this alive. So aware of my own mortality.

The more that my body relaxed, the safer I began to feel, until eventually, after a couple of minutes, it was as though I was enveloped in a cocoon, warm and cosy, listening to nothing but the sound of my own heartbeat and breathing, like I was floating through space, peaceful and dreamy.

And then, somewhere behind me, I heard the sound of his breath. Fast, and heavy. Growing faster. Heavier. Faster.

And then silence.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Healing

None of us had spoken for ten minutes. Not me, not Mr. Cooper, and not the chauffeur. We were driving back towards Mr. Cooper’s apartment, and none of us had said a word since getting in the limo. Mr. Cooper was staring out of he window as if in a daze.

I had felt so good while I had been tied up. So strangely free, like I had finally achieved something I’d been yearning for all my life, without even knowing it. I had felt safe too, and
wanted
. I had been almost euphoric. But now – he wasn’t even talking to me. Three hours had passed by, the most intense three hours of my life, and now it was as if we barely knew each other.

As the limo took us slowly through the busy New York streets, I felt broken. Back in the warehouse, I felt like I’d transformed into the most beautiful ornament, delicate and precious like a Chinese case, but now, it’s as if I’d slipped through Mr. Cooper’s hands, and I”d just smashed on the floor.

Did I do something wrong?

Is he angry with me?

I fidgeted in my seat, my buttocks red raw from the rod he’d whipped me with. I felt sure the skin had been broken. Perhaps I was even bleeding. I had no idea it was going to hurt so much. Getting spanked was one thing, but the stinging sensation that built up in me afterwards was another thing entirely. It was a constant reminder of what I’d put myself through. What Mr. Cooper had done to me.

Finally, after what felt like an absolute eternity, the limo reached Mr. Cooper’s place. As it stopped outside the entrance, he turned to me, and said the first words he’d spoken all journey. ‘Won’t you come inside, Rose?’ he said, his eyes looking through me, still in some kind of daze.

‘I don’t know…’ I mumbled, not sure if I was welcome, not sure what I wanted at all right now, if I was honest. I didn’t want to go into his apartment to be ignored, and I didn’t want to go back home to my parents either.

‘Please,’ he urged, more softly, looking straight at me now.

I didn’t know what else to do, so I nodded and got out of the car, wincing at the pain in my thighs and backside.

Mr. Cooper said a few words to the chauffeur, then got out and joined me, and we walked into the building together. The doorman, John, bowed at me again, and, like a fool, I bowed back.

In the elevator, Mr. Cooper remained silent. As we rose up higher and higher, I became aware of how drained I was. I was exhausted. I closed my eyes, feeling the rumble of the elevator between the soles of my feet. Then I felt a hand on my right shoulder, firmly pressing down on me. I almost started, not expecting to be touched, but immediately afterwards, felt another hand on my left shoulder. I looked at the elevator attendant, who remained standing facing the doors, and was unaware of the electricity I was feeling now my boss had placed his palms on me.

I felt Mr. Cooper’s breath on my cheek now. His lips against my ear lobe. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered into my ear.

The doors opened and we stepped out into the hallway. I noticed that Mr. Cooper’s hands were trembling as he undid the lock on his front door. ‘Go upstairs, Rose,’ he said. ‘I’ll be up in a minute.’ He disappeared through one of the three doors in the entrance hall, leaving me standing opposite the statue of the statue of Artemis.

So you’re the goddess of virginity, huh?
Her eyes pierced into me.
You protect young women from predators?

I looked at the arrow, clutched in her hand.
Don’t look at me like that, Artemis
, I thought, and shivered.

I climbed the stairs wearily, each step like climbing a mountain. When I got to the top, I was ready to collapse. I could barely walk across the floor to get to the sofa. I almost crumpled onto the ground, right where I was. Somehow, I managed to drag myself across the floor. Instead of falling onto the sofa, though, as I had intended, I found myself drawn to the window, looking out over the city. It looked different today. There was a breeze running through the trees. It was overcast. It was only half eight, and dusk was approaching. I saw people moving in groups, like ants, through Central Park. So many of people traveled through life together. It was so important to have someone. Everybody had to have
someone
.

Oh god, what have I done? I let Mr. Cooper come too close. I exposed myself. Made myself vulnerable. And for what?

Still feeling like that smashed vase, I fell to the floor of his apartment in pieces, and I began to sob. A deep, heavy sob, for everything I’d ever done. For the times I’d answered back to my mother, the times I’d bitten off more than I could chew, the times I’d wanted to be something better than I was, and failed.

As my cries became more plaintive, accompanied by huge gasps for air, with big, ugly sniffs and snorts as the tears fell, I began to feel something extraordinary. First, I felt all the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Then I felt a tingling sensation down my spine, and my ears burning. Soon, it was as though I could feel every droplet of the blood that was running through my veins. I felt hyper-aware, like my body was preparing itself for a ‘fight or flight’ scenario.

Then, I heard his voice. ‘Rose,’ he said. ‘Come with me.’

I turned around, and Mr. Cooper was there, looking fresh-faced and alert. More alert than I’d ever seen him, in fact. He held his hand out to me, and waited.

I got to my knees, swallowing away the sobs, and then took his hand. I had no idea where he was going to lead me, but I didn’t know where I was in any of this any more.
What’s happening to me?

He led me across the apartment floor, and I realized I’d only ever been in that one part of his apartment. There was so much more to see. In one corner, for instance, there was a library, packed full of multicolored book spines, tantalisingly bright and welcoming. There was a love-seat in the center of the library, and I knew that I could have lost myself in there among the literature for hours, given half the chance.

He opened the door to another room, and I suddenly became aware of the sound of running water. He was running a bath. The steam filled the air and he shut the door behind us, to keep the steam in. The bathtub was one of those beautiful free-standing ones, with ornate, cast iron feet. The type I’d seen in glossy ‘Ideal Home’ magazines and always dreamt of having, but had never had the opportunity to try one out. The walls were tiled, all except one, which was, in keeping with the rest of the apartment, made completely of glass. I assumed this one must be one-way glass

The elegant, gray slate floor felt warm under my feet, even with my shoes on.

‘Take off your shoes,’ said Mr. Cooper, noticing me looking down at the floor.

I remembered his voice earlier on today, when he’d told me to take off my shoes before entering the warehouse. I felt a small surge of shame rise up in me, the embarrassment coloring my cheeks. But I did as he said, and removed my shoes, and was delighted to feel the smooth, warm floor on the soles of my feet.

Mr. Cooper reached up to me, and wiping the tears off my cheeks, gently with his thumbs. ‘I owe you an apology,’ he said.

Another one?
I thought.
This is getting to be quite a habit with you, sir.

’This is all new to me, Rose,’ he said, his hands resting on my shoulders now. ‘What happened today… I’ve never done that before. I’ve never taken anyone to that warehouse. It’s something I’ve always dreamt of, but…’ He trailed off, visibly moved by the mention of what happened today. ‘I had no idea how powerful it was going to be.’ He ran his hands down my arms, and then placed them on my hips. ‘I should have spoken to you after we’d finished, on the ride home, but I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t speak. You’re amazing, Rose. What you did for me today…’

‘I didn’t just do it for you,’ I said quickly. ‘I wanted to do it for me, too.’ I was aware, the second I said this, of how silly it sounded.
I wanted to get tied up and whipped for my own good! It was a real breath of fresh air for me!

‘I understand that,’ he said sincerely, nodding. ‘I could tell it was what you wanted, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it. But you put your trust in me, and you let me go to a place I’ve only ever been in my wildest imagination.’ His eyes were burning with a passionate fire, and I could see the heat rising to his cheeks now too. His skin was glowing in the steam.

‘It’s my job now, though,’ he said, reaching for the hem of my t-shirt, ‘to give you what you need to complete the act that has passed between us.’

Was he talking about sex?

‘I’m going to undress you now,’ he said, and pulled at the t-shirt. I lifted my arms in the air, and he peeled it off me, so that I was topless in front of my boss once more. He looked at my breasts, plump and slightly swollen from being tied up in rope. ‘You’re beautiful, Rose.’

He took my breasts in his hand, running his fingers over the nipples, and I couldn’t help but let out a sigh.

‘I’ve never seen such perfect breasts,’ he said. ‘I couldn’t believe it when I saw you get out of the taxi. The way you turned up at the warehouse without a bra on, the shape of you so clearly visible through the material. I felt like a wild animal.’

I smiled, as his hands travelled down to my skirt. He took the waistband of the skirt gently between his fingers, then got down on his knees. He rolled down my skirt, and, at the same time, my panties, and stared longingly at my most sensitive parts. ‘The most wonderful creature I have ever seen.’ He leant forwards, his face just centimetres from me now, and then he brought his lips to my pubis, and kissed me. It was a long, moist, generous kiss. I felt myself twitching as his lips were on me, then my buttocks clenched as his hands travelled around to the back of me, pulling me closer to his mouth, like he wanted to eat me all up.

His fingers pressed into me a little hard, and I winced with pain where they touched the wound. He noticed my involuntary reaction, and he stopped kissing me. ‘Let me see,’ he said, looking up at me.

I turned around, facing the window, looking out at the lights, which were being switched on across the city, now that it was darkening outside. The lights twinkled like stars. I tried to imagine that I was looking out at constellations, rather than the lights of burger vans, diners, hotels, strip clubs, restaurants and office blocks. As I did so, I felt his fingertips, tracing the welts on my backside, like he was examining constellations of his own.

‘They must hurt,’ he said, seeing how I jumped each time his finger tips moved. ‘They’ll heal.’

‘I know they will,’ I said, exhaling. I felt more relaxed since I’d cried, and since Mr. Cooper had spoken with me. Perhaps this had all been part of the process. The beautiful China vase was already cracked. It had to be smashed, to enable it to be put together more strongly.

I heard Mr. Cooper switching off the bath taps behind me, and I turned around.

‘Are you getting in the bath too?’ I asked nervously, wondering if I was about to see my boss naked for the first time, if maybe, even, I was about to lose my virginity to him, right here, in this bathroom, right now.

He smiled. ‘This is just for you,’ he said. ‘I’ve put some melrose and tea tree oils in the water for you. Naturally antiseptic, and good for regenerating tissue.’ He dipped his hand into the water and looked up at me. ‘It’s a good temperature. Get in.’

I did as he said, feeling his eyes on me as I stepped in. The water was just right. I leant back, all the way in, washing my hair, my face, my neck my shoulders…

Mr. Cooper sat on the tiles beside me, and, with a soft sponge, much softer and cleaner than the one he’d had me washing my feet with at the warehouse, he began cleaning me. Each touch of the sponge was like a slow, soft caress, and I found myself moaning with pleasure as he did it. I even forget about the pain I was in. It was as if somehow, by being here beside me, he was healing me, with nothing more than his presence.

‘You’re very special, Rose,’ he said, as he ran the sponge over my stomach. ‘Very special indeed.’

He pushed the sponge between my legs, running it over my sensitive lips, applying just the slightest pressure, so that I could feel the strength of his hands. If it wasn’t for the soft sponge between us, I’d be able to feel his fingers, searching inside me. He pushed a little harder, and I arched my back and moaned.