Don't Make Me Beautiful (14 page)

“Are you sleeping there at the hospital?
 
What about work?”

“Yeah. I haven’t left except to get food from the cafeteria.
 
Work is fine.
 
I have a break in the schedule right now.”

“Ew.
 
Smell much?”

“Hank brought me some clothes and shaving stuff, and there’s a shower in her room.
 
I don’t stink.
 
Much.”

She laughs, her earlier sadness no longer in evidence.
 
“I’m happy to bring you stuff if you need it.”

“No, I’m good, but thanks.”

“Okay, I’m outta here.”

“Wait.
 
Helen?”

“Yeah?”

“Remind me why we’re divorced?”

“Because we can’t stand to be around each other for longer than a few hours at a time?
 
You’re a homebody and I’m a traveler?
 
You like country and I like rock-n-roll?”

“I like rock-n-roll.”

“Whatever.
 
You know what I mean.”

He smiles, feeling the warmth of their friendship fill his soul.
 
“Yeah, I know what you mean.
 
I’ll talk to you later.”

He hangs up the phone and goes back into the room, happy to see his charge awake, sitting up, and smiling.

Chapter Twenty

NICOLE WAITS UNTIL HE’S SEATED before she speaks.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said.”

“Oh yeah? Which thing? I’ve been pretty much carrying the conversation around here for days.
 
A couple times I even caught myself talking to your IV bag.”

She tries hard not to smile, but ends up doing it anyway, ignoring the pain in her mouth.
 
“Stop being charming.
 
I’m being serious.”

“Oooh, charming. I like that.
 
What if I can’t help it?”
 
He grins, obviously very happy with himself.

“Try.”

He puts on a mock serious face.
 
“Okay. Here we go.
 
Charming switch in the off position.”

“That’s better.”
 
She suddenly feels shy, embarrassed.
 
Having his full, non-smiling attention is sending butterflies into her stomach to have a dance party.
 
“Anyway, now that I’m getting kicked out of here and stuff, I was thinking that maybe … maybe … I could stay with you for just a few days until I’m able to get around on my own.
 
Like two days.
 
Or three, max.” Time to heal without John around to make things worse sounds like a dream, but it’s one she can’t let go of. Not yet.

“Sure.
 
Or you could just stay until you find somewhere safe to go.
 
However long that takes.”

“I’m sure it won’t be longer than three days.”

He shrugs.
 
“Fine.
 
Three days, then.”

She frowns. “Why are you being so cool about it?”
 
Her suspicions take over, making her go from feeling carefree and silly to very uneasy.

“Cool?
 
What do you mean?”

“Why aren’t you arguing for me to stay longer?”

“Do you want me to argue with you about it?”
 
He shrugs.
 
“If you want to stay longer, stay longer.”

She slaps her hand down on the sheets next to her.
 
“No! I just want you to do what comes natural!”

He smiles.
 
“Okay, then.”

It’s really hard to stay mad at him when he smiles like that.
 
“Okay then, what?”

“Okay then, I’ll act natural.
 
This is me, acting natural.”
 
He opens up his arms wide and leans back in his chair.

“You’re pissing me off
and
confusing me, I hope you know that.”

“You and Helen will have lots to talk about.”

That isn’t the response she’d been expecting.
 
“Who’s Helen?”

“She’s my ex-wife.
 
I just got off the phone with her.
 
She’s on board with you being at the house.”

“Does she live there?”

“No, but our son does, so I involved her in the decision-making process.”

“That’s very … fair of you.
 
And nice.”
 
He can’t possibly be for real. There’s a catch here somewhere, she just has to keep digging until she finds it. She almost feels like she won’t be able to relax or trust him until she discovers something awful about him.
 
So far, no such luck.

“That’s because I’m a fair and nice guy.”

“And … silly.”
 
This whole joking around thing is foreign to her.
 
It’s been too long since laughter and silliness has been a part of her life; it just feels foreign.
 
Uncomfortable, but not totally awful.
 
In a weird way, it feels risky to laugh and enjoy the moment so easily.
 
She’s waiting for the other foot to drop.
 
Like for John to burst through the door and drag her out by her hair.

Brian puts his hands over his face and talks through his fingers.
 
“Oh, man … you’ve figured me out.”
 
He drops his arms into his lap.
 
“Total cold shower, right?
 
Silly men aren’t sexy.
 
Helen tells me that all the time.”

Nicole wants to answer that she and Helen disagree very strongly on that point, but she says nothing of the sort.
 
“When am I leaving?
 
Did they tell you?”

“Friday.
 
You ready?”

“I’m ready right now.” She holds up the hand with the IV in it.
 
“As soon as they unhook me, I’m stealing a wheelchair and wheeling myself right out the front door.”

Brian shrugs.
 
“I’ll steal it for you if you want.”

A devilish gleam comes into her eyes and she feels like singing with happiness.
 
A kind of delirium takes over.
 
“Do it.”

He looks at her and then the door.
 
Suddenly he’s nervous. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.
 
The doc said he wants to keep an eye on you for another day or so.”

“Screw him.
 
I’ve lived through this stuff a hundred times.
 
I don’t need to be here.
 
Besides, what’s it costing me?
 
Ten grand a day?”

“More, actually.”

“Fine.
 
Let’s do this.”
 
Nicole grabs at her the tubes, trying to pull the tape off the needle embedded in her hand, the arm in the cast a serious impediment to coordinated movement.
 
She suddenly has a very desperate need to be out of this bed and out of this place.
 
Get it out!
 
Get it out of me!

Brian stands up and comes over to the side of her bed, taking hold of her hands and halting her frantic movements.

“Nicole, look at me.”

“My name’s Briana, remember?” she says, kicking the covers off, ignoring the pain it causes her ribs.

“Nicole,” he says more firmly.
 
“Look at me, please.”

She ceases her struggles with the sheets and looks at him, her heart pounding and sweat pouring out of her.
 
Is he going to hit her now?
 
Is this where the real Brian comes out to introduce himself?
 
She cringes as she waits for the pain.

“I think we should wait,” he says.
 
His muscles are not bunching up in preparation for delivering a punch, and his face doesn’t look angry.
 
It looks … sad.

“I need to get out of here,” she says, panic warring with confusion. Nothing makes sense anymore … this place, him, what’s happening to her with her thoughts being so disjointed, the fact that she feels safe with him and yet is absolutely sure he’s going to hurt her.

“Why do we need to go right this second?
 
Just tell me why first.”

“Because!”
 
She slaps at his hands, trying to get him away.
 
“What if he finds me!
 
What if he’s right down the hall!”

Brian takes a step back with his hands up in surrender, talking calmly.
 
“Then we’ll need a disguise, right?
 
You can’t just walk out of the hospital as Nicole.
 
You have to leave as Briana.”

Her blood pressure goes down a notch and she ceases her frantic movements.
 
He’s not telling her no, he’s just suggesting she have a shot at succeeding.
 
It sounds more like a careful plan instead of blind running.

She feels bad for slapping him away now and wishes he’d come close again and talk some more sense to her.
 
“What do you mean?”

“I’m going to buy you a disguise, just in case he’s hanging around.
 
What do you think?
 
Good idea?
 
Bad?
 
Stupid beyond belief?
 
Brilliantly diabolically genius, maybe?”
 
He steps forward and takes her hand gently, putting the tubes back in the right direction and pushing down on the edges of the tape.

She leans back in the bed, her hand sliding out from his.
 
“It’s a good idea,” she concedes, gently wiping the sweat off her upper lip.
 
“When can you do it?
 
Right now?”

“Later today, maybe when you’re having dinner.”

“But that’s a long time from now.”

Brian takes her hand again and turns it over, rubbing the palm with his thumbs.
 
“Listen, I know you’re feeling trapped right now and very vulnerable.”

“Sitting duck.
 
I’m a sitting duck with a goddamned bullseye on my chest.”

“I know you feel that way, and I’m not going to tell you that’s the wrong way to feel.
 
But I
am
going to tell you that I won’t let anything happen to you.
 
That evil asshole is going to have to go through me to get to you.
 
And as my ex likes to say, I’m built like a brick shithouse, so it’s not going to be easy for him to do that.”

“You are big,” she says, a ribbon of relief sliding around her and allowing her to relax just a little.
 
“But he’s big too.
 
And strong.”

“Check out these guns.”
 
Brian gives her a double bicep curl.

She laughs and then winces at the pain.
 
“Impressive.”
 
It’s more than impressive, but it makes her sad to realize that about him.
 
She doesn’t want to feel that way about her savior.
 
She wants to be able to walk away in three days and never look back.

“See?
 
All you gotta do is trust me.”
 
He lets her go and sits down, picking up his Kindle from the small, nearby table.

She finds, as he begins to read out loud from the science fiction novel on his e-reader, that the idea of trusting him is no longer outside the realm of possibility.

Chapter Twenty-One

SHE’S LYING IN THE BED, a wrinkled sheet covering most of her body. The IV lines have been removed and she’s no longer tethered to the hospital room in any way.
 
Beneath the blankets she’s fully dressed in a new outfit Brian bought for her at Target.
 
The bruises on her face have started turning green and the swelling has gone down significantly, but that doesn’t change the fact that she looks like a monster with one arm in a cast.
 
There’s nothing Brian can do about that.
 
Not yet, anyway.

“Are you ready?” he asks her, holding out a hand.

“As ready as I’m ever going to be.”
 
Nicole smiles at him tremulously, letting their fingers intertwine for a moment.
 
It seems to calm and steady her to feel his touch, and Brian never tires of sharing it with her.

One of the nurses comes to the door.
 
Her name is Tana and she’s always made a special effort for Nicole, never asking questions, but somehow always knowing what needs to be done before Brian does. “We’re ready for you.”

“Let’s do this,” says Brian.
 
“You sure you’re ready?” he asks Nicole.

She nods.
 
“Yes, I think so.
 
You’re going to be down there, right?”
 
She’s glad Brian was able to buy her clothes that would fit and not stick out as obviously as a hospital gown, but still, it’s not enough to make her feel safe.

“Yep.
 
I’ll park at the door so you won’t have far to go.”

“Okay,” she whispers.
 
Her face is a mask of fear.

“I promise, I’ll be there.
 
You’re going to be fine.”
 
He looks up at Tana who nods as she comes farther into the room.
 
It’s clear she realizes the importance of what they’re doing; her expression holds pity and determination.

Tana speaks directly to Nicole.
 
“I’m going to put the sheet up over your head now, okay, sweetie?
 
Don’t panic.
 
We just want to make sure no one recognizes you on the way down.”

Nicole looks at Brian one last time.
 
They both know who the nurse is referring to, even if the nurse herself doesn’t.
 
John
.

The sheet goes over Nicole’s face and she’s instantly transformed from the living, breathing monster who lives around the corner from Brian to the corpse who didn’t make it.
 
Faceless, nameless, invisible.
 
This will be her disguise. Brian hates that she has to play dead to be safe.
 
He pulls his hand away and smooths the sheet over her arm.