Don't Read in the Closet volume one (82 page)

When Jonah had approached him and said he needed some
advice, Laurie had been perfectly willing to lend an ear. He figured as a gay
teenager, the kid probably didn’t have very many people to talk to about safe
sex or boyfriends or relationships in general. And since he and Jonah’s older
brother, Marcus, had been friends practically since birth, it made sense that
Jonah would come to him. Jonah had been trailing after them since he was old
enough to walk, always underfoot and wanting to be involved in whatever he and
Marc were doing. Over the years Laurie had started to think of him as just
another pesky little brother to add to the brood that constantly annoyed him
when he was at home.

Until Jonah’s seventeenth birthday party when Laurie
had caught Jonah making out with one his classmates in the basement. One of his
male
classmates.

That day, Laurie had learned he and Jonah had one very
big thing in common. And he would’ve been lying if he said his perception of
Jonah hadn’t changed after that. He started to notice things, like how Jonah’s
skin was the perfect shade of pale gold, and his smile sort of took Laurie’s
breath away, and how his tight little body was the type wet dreams were made
of. But the more he’d noticed the harder Laurie had fought to keep Jonah locked
away in the platonic, no-sexual-feelings-allowed section of his mind. If
sometimes he failed and his thoughts wandered into fantasy territory at the
sight of Jonah without a shirt, well, that was between him and his traitorous
brain. No one else would ever have to know.
 

So, Laurie had listened to Jonah’s story about the guy
he’d been dating toward the end of his senior year. The guy who had cheated on
Jonah and then broken up with him because he wasn’t willing to waste his time
on a “frigid little shit
who
wouldn’t put out.”
Jonah’s eyes were shining with tears as he told that part and Laurie’s stomach
had clenched with anger and sympathy. But Jonah didn’t need a guy like that and
Laurie had told him so. There would be other guys. Better guys. Someone like
that wasn’t worth tears. Might as well save the waterworks for when it really
counted, and being dumped by some high school douchebag with an overinflated
sense of self-importance
so
didn’t
make that cut.

Jonah had nodded and agreed. Then, not five minutes
later, those words had come out of his mouth. Words that Laurie still wasn’t
sure he’d heard right. People didn’t just burst out with things like that over
French fries and milkshakes in crowded, greasy spoon diners. Not when the
bubblegum-chomping waitress could swing by at any second to ask if they wanted
some apple pie for dessert. Talk about awkward.

“I want you to take my virginity,” Jonah repeated.

Laurie blinked at him. Okay. So those words
hadn’
t actually been some sort of
warped, sugar-induced auditory hallucination. “I thought that’s what you said.”

“Just…just hear me out before you answer, okay,
Laurie?”

“Look, I don’t think this is the best place for this
conversation.” Laurie inclined his head toward the family of five seated at a
round table a few feet away from them. One of the three towheaded boys was
staring their way, his eyes magnified to double their size by thick-lensed
glasses.

Jonah glanced over at the table and nodded. “Yeah, I
guess you’re right. But can we talk about it on the ride back?”

Laurie sighed and raked his fingers through his hair.
Jonah’s virginity was not a topic he wanted to discuss, especially when it
pertained to him being the one to divest Jonah of said virginity. But he and
Jonah had a twenty minute drive back to Beckett’s Adventure Company and it
wasn’t like he could gag Jonah to keep him from talking on the way there. “Fine.
We’ll talk about it in the car.”

“Great,” Jonah said with a grin. And then he calmly
went back to his food as if he hadn’t dropped a bombshell on Laurie’s head a
few minutes before.

Laurie, however, found that his appetite was gone.
Looked like he would be taking that burger home after all.

****

Once they were in the car—and his takeout container
had been dumped unceremoniously onto the backseat—Laurie started up the engine
and sent up a quick prayer that Jonah had forgotten about the conversation they
were supposed to be having in the time it had taken him to finish his meal and
pay the bill.

No such luck. Laurie no sooner turned out of the
parking lot than Jonah was shifting nervously in his seat and clearing his
throat. “So…”

Laurie wasn’t about to make it easy for him. “So?” he
said idly as he pulled to a stop at a red light. He could feel Jonah’s gaze on
the side of his face, but he kept his eyes straight ahead.

Jonah sighed. “You’re going to make me say it again?”

“No. But I am going to make you explain why you said
it in the first place.”

“Well, ever since Dirk broke up with me, I’ve been—”

“Dirk?” Laurie gave him a skeptical look. “Seriously?”

“Yes,
Laurie
.
Seriously.”

Laurie rolled his eyes and turned back to the steering
wheel. The kid had a point there, but who could blame him for using a nickname
when his parents had saddled him with a name like George Laurence? No one born
after 1950 should be stuck with such a stodgy old name.

“So, anyway, ever since he broke up with me, I’ve been
thinking, and…well, I don’t want to go to college a virgin. The guys there,
they’re going to be experienced and I’m not going to know what I’m doing, and
I’m probably going to make a fool of myself or something. I don’t want to be
embarrassed. I—”

“That’s part of the whole process,” Laurie
interrupted, keeping his eyes on the road as he merged onto the highway that
would take them back to Jonah’s grandfather’s shop. “Sometimes sex is awkward.
You find the right person, and there won’t be any need to be embarrassed.”

“Yeah, and I want
you
to be that person. I want to learn about it from someone I trust. Someone I
know won’t laugh at me, or dump me if there are certain things I’m not
comfortable doing.”

Laurie’s eyes narrowed and he risked a quick glance at
Jonah. “Is that what happened? Did he try to force you into something?”

Jonah shook his head. “No.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I said no. He didn’t try to force me. He just wasn’t
happy about it.”

Laurie sighed. “Jonah, look, there’s no need to be
impatient about these things. There is no shame, absolutely
no
shame, in waiting until you find the
right person. I know that sounds trite, but eventually someone worthy will come
along. Trust me.”

“You’re the right person, Laurie.
You.
”

“No.” Laurie shook his head, his fingers tightening on
the wheel. “I can’t agree to this. You’re asking for all the wrong reasons,
and, besides, what do you think Marc would have to say about this? You think
he’d be cool with us having sex?”

“Why does it matter what he thinks?”

“It matters because he’s been my best friend for
almost twenty years. And
you
are his
baby brother. It’s like a rule in the best friend handbook or something.”

“Are you not attracted to me?” Jonah asked
,
his voice edged with hurt. “Is that why you won’t do it?”

Laurie bit back another sigh. “Did you really miss the
point of everything I just said, or are you deliberately being obtuse?”

“So that’s it? That’s your answer?”

“That’s my answer.”

Jonah huffed. Out of the corner of his eye, Laurie saw
him cross his arms over his chest. “Fine. I’ll ask someone else then.”

That time Laurie couldn’t hold back the sigh, but he
gritted his teeth to stop himself from saying anything more. Unless it was
“yes, I’ll pop your cherry” (and,
God
,
there was a big part of him that would love to say just that), he knew Jonah
probably wouldn’t want to hear it. Did that make him feel a little bitter? Yes,
sir. But he couldn’t do what Jonah had asked. He just couldn’t. So he held his
tongue.

By the time they arrived at Beckett’s Adventure
Company, his jaw ached.

****

Jonah sighed, flipped his book closed, and glanced
around the shop. Two more hours before his shift ended, and he’d already swept,
mopped, and straightened everything he could. The aisles of fishing poles,
reels, and other related outdoor gear were in pristine order. There was nothing
for him to do but be bored out of his skull, when all he really wanted was to
go back to the lake house and curl up in bed so he could lick his wounds and
try to stop feeling so pathetic and miserable.

He’d thought it would be easy. He’d never even
contemplated the idea that Laurie might say no to his request. But Laurie was,
well,
Laurie
. Always considerate.
Always calm and rational and kind. Everything Laurie said made sense. Perfect
sense. He’d said and done what any respectable guy would. And that was exactly
the reason why Jonah wanted him so badly. Laurie wasn’t the type of guy who
would take advantage. But Jonah had thought his sob story about Dirk would have
been enough to sway Laurie over into his way of thinking.

Dirk.
Snort.
Why couldn’t I
come up with something more believable?
He’d reached for a name and the
first to come to mind was Dirk Nowitzki, player for the Dallas Mavericks. Why,
he couldn’t even say since basketball season was still months away. He was
surprised Laurie hadn’t called bullshit on him right then and there. Well,
Laurie might have, if he’d been the type to assume the worst about people. He
wasn’t, though, and he had no reason to suspect Jonah was lying. The thought
that Jonah made the entire story up from start to finish would never even cross
Laurie’s mind. But there was no ex-boyfriend named Dirk. There were no exes at
all. Jonah had saved himself all throughout high school…for Laurie. He just
didn’t know how to get Laurie to stop looking at him like some irritating
little tagalong and start seeing him as a man instead.

Jonah glanced up when the chime above the door went
off. It swung open, letting in a gust of muggy air and Travis, the dark-haired
hottie who worked at the mechanic shop next door. He was wearing dirty
coveralls and there was grease smudged on one of his high cheekbones, but
somehow it worked for him. And he knew it, too. He gave Jonah a cocky grin as
he crossed the linoleum to the counter and leaned into Jonah’s personal space.

“Hey, gorgeous. Your grandpa in?”

Jonah shook his head. “Nope. He and MawMaw took a ride
into the city. What did you need, Trav?”

Travis’s smile widened. “Nothing at all. I just wanted
to know if we were alone.”

“And why would you want to be alone with me?” Jonah
asked with a soft laugh. Travis always laid it on extra thick, but he was fun
to flirt with and he stopped in periodically to help Jonah pass the time while
everyone else was out of the shop. Without Travis’s occasional visits, Jonah was
sure he would’ve gone stir-crazy already. He’d decided that when he came down
to work for his grandpa next summer, he was going to insist on being allowed to
lead some of the kayak tours or at least act as a fly-fishing guide. He was
tired of being stuck behind the counter ringing up people’s bait and tackle and
answering phone calls all day.

Travis reached out to trail one long finger along the
back of Jonah’s hand. “Oh, I could think of a few reasons…”

Jonah smirked. “Could you now? Care to share some of
those with me?”

Travis licked his lips and crooked a finger to gesture
Jonah closer. “C’mere.”

Jonah played along, leaning forward until he could
feel the rasp of Travis’s stubble on his cheek and the wash of warm breath over
his ear. He expected Travis to whisper something suggestive, but instead Travis
nipped at the lobe, just hard enough to sting. Jonah shuddered slightly and
started to pull away, but Travis’s hand came up to grip the back of his head
and hold him in place.

“I could suck you off,” Travis murmured, his
fingertips toying with the short hair at Jonah’s nape. “We could go into the
backroom. I’d get down on my
knees,
take you in my
mouth…”

Jonah trembled. He’d never even gone as far as a
handjob with anyone. The idea of Travis kneeling in front of him with that
arrogant mouth wrapped around his dick was sexy as hell, especially when he
envisioned it happening in the back of the shop as the threat of discovery
loomed near. Still, it was nothing when compared to all of the extravagant
fantasies he’d dreamed up about Laurie over the years. He had enough of those
to fill a book the size of
War and Peace
.
And if he took that mental picture of Travis and replaced it with Laurie—holy
shit. Now
that
was so beyond hot he
wasn’t even sure there was a word for it.