Don't Tell (4 page)

Those intense blue eyes turned and focused on him, his features softening. “I don’t live an easy life but I probably don’t have to tell you that. You know what it’s like living a lie day in and day out. Most of the time you deal and then sometimes when you

aren’t looking it comes up and bites you on the ass. Today it bit me on the ass. More than today actually. I’ve been irritable and argumentative for weeks and a couple of days ago some of the guys in my unit got pissed and told me to go and get laid already.”

Finn grabbed onto Jeff’s hip, his fingers digging into the tense muscles of his thighs. He did need to relax.

“Do they know you’re gay?”

Jeff shook his head. “I haven’t had sex with anyone but myself in a really long time.” he whispered.

Finn slid his hand between Jeff’s legs and pulled them apart so he could work the tight muscles on the inside of his thighs. The man carried way too much stress.

Something he was all too familiar with.

“How long?” he asked absently.

“Eighteen months.”

“What? Why? Hell, no wonder you’re so wound up.”

“It’s bad enough I have to hide who I am, I don’t want to keep secrets and sneak around above and beyond that.”

“You planning on staying in the Corps?” Finn massaged his fingers deep into his tight muscles until they gave in under the pressure and relaxed a fraction.

“That was the plan.”

“And now?”

“I don’t know. It depends.”

“On?”

“Whether I find a reason not to. Although I can’t imagine starting over on a new career.”

“Give yourself some time, you’ll figure it out.”

Finn touched Jeff’s scrotum, lightly at first before increasing the pressure.

“Oh God, Finn, that feels so damn good. Keep that up and I’ll be out of my mind.”

“Which is the point.”

“But—ahhh…” Jeff’s eyes slid closed and his hands fisted into the blanket.

Finn’s fingers found their way from the scrotum to the tiny hole of his ass and pushed just the tip inside. He’d need the lube to go any farther. Speaking of… He grabbed the bottle from the pillow where he’d tossed it and one of the condoms as well.

He wiggled his finger until Jeff squirmed and his breath came in shallow pants.

Not to mention Jeff’s softened dick had hardened and swelled to its full length. Seeing his lover like this, writhing in pleasure at his mercy turned him on in ways he couldn’t begin to explain.

“I want to take you here, are you okay with that?”

“Yes.” Jeff panted.

Finn removed his finger, ripped open one of the condom squares and sheathed himself. His own touch against the already sensitized skin of his cock made him want to come.

“I don’t know about you but I enjoy fucking in to a tight ass as much as I like being filled.” He squirted lube onto his palm and forced a few long slow breaths in and out of his lungs before he fisted his erection, smoothing the cool gel along its length.

“Agreed.”

Jeff stared at his hand with a dazed and lustful look while his cock pulsed against his stomach. Oh yeah he was not far from overload as well. With slickened fingers Finn circled the puckered opening of Jeff’s ass before pushing both tips in a fraction of the way.

Finn leaned forward touching his mouth to the spongy crown of Jeff’s cock, licking over it and gathering the pre-cum on his tongue. That all male musky flavor drove his need higher as he pushed his fingers all the way inside Jeff, stretching and preparing him for his much larger dick about to tunnel inside.

Somehow the fact Jeff hadn’t had a lover in such a long time made this seem special. In a small way, he was demonstrating a trust in Finn to not only satisfy him sexually but to mentally give him the peace he needed from the lies he had to tell on a daily basis. The power and meaning of that was heady.

Unable to wait another minute to be inside his clenching ass, Finn withdrew his fingers and mouth and looped his arms underneath Jeff’s knees. When he pushed forward, his thighs lifted, giving him full access to what he wanted.

Looking at the heated expression in Jeff’s eyes he wondered if there was more to his story. Yes, the pressure the military put on your life became unbearable to many men but Jeff struck him as much stronger than most. Was there something else he didn’t want to reveal? Time would possibly tell but for some reason it mattered. The urge to be the one Jeff trusted with his secrets gripped his chest and turned him inside out.

To prolong the torture a fraction more, Finn rested his plump tip against Jeff’s glistening hole, loving the tense and anxious lines of his face. All serious thoughts slid from his mind as the ripples of pleasure washed over him as he pressed forward.

“I want to watch your face as I thrust inside you. See every reaction as your ass swallows my cock.”

“Oh yes.” Jeff’s lids lowered a fraction, the sensual carnality of their sex written all over his face.

“More?”

“Oh hell yes.”

Past the tight ring of muscle his cock slid easily to the half way mark. Sweat broke out across his body as he fought to stay in control. The heat of the snug fit threatened to burn him alive and make him blow his load before he was ready.

“Damn you feel incredible. Fucking tight.” Finn tunneled a little deeper as both their breathing sharpened. His arms tightened around Jeff’s legs as he pushed the last final step, seating himself fully.

“Ahhh.” Jeff’s head jerked from side to side.

“Too much?” he gritted out, his head spinning.

“No, not enough. Please don’t stop now.”

Finn eased out until just the tip remained. “Look at me.” Jeff’s head lifted and their gazes met. “I don’t think I can do this easy. I’m dying with the need to fuck, to rut inside you,” he managed through gritted teeth.

“Yes—it’s what I want. Not slow and easy. I need hard--fast.” Jeff fisted his own dick and pumped furiously. “Hurry.”

The sight of Jeff’s movements broke the final threads of his restraint and he powered forward in a long, dominant thrust. Balls deep, he groaned at the fire surrounding his dick, the squeezing contractions. Over and over he pulled and plunged praying he would last until Jeff came.

Pleasure overwhelmed him, vibrations shooting up his spine as the muscles of his legs quivered and shook when his balls drew up. Sweat and lube soaked flesh slapped together on every deep thrust until his limbs ached and Jeff’s grunts and moans filled his head.

Up on his toes, he angled his thrusts to rub against Jeff’s prostrate. The resulting loud moan told him he’d hit it just right.

“Yes! Hell yes!” Jeff yelled as he erupted into orgasm. Spurts of cum coated his belly and chest, the smell of desire and sexual satisfaction filling the air.

On a final deep plunge he came with a low, guttural groan. Never ending pulses filled Jeff’s ass while his body locked in place from the intensity of the pleasure shooting through him.

After the last shudder shook his shoulders, Jeff relaxed into the bed and Finn pulled away. He quickly disposed of the condom and collapsed next to Jeff on the bed.

The urge to crawl inside him and burrow close overcame him, a need to be connected he’d not felt in forever. For the first time in a very long time a sense of peace and relaxation blanketed him. No worries about the music, no regrets of the past, only this moment here and now mattered.

He listened to Jeff’s racing heartbeat begin to slow and eventually return to a deep, even breathing. He didn’t want to move but he couldn’t force him to stay like this.

“I’ll be right back.” His voice a hoarse whisper. Finn retrieved a warm cloth from the adjoining bath and returned to the bed. Sleepy eyes stared up at him, a ghost of a smile peeking at the corners of his mouth.

“If you need me to go, you should probably say something now.” Jeff’s eyes fluttered open and closed, the weariness evident.

What would happen if he let him stay? Earlier he’d thought about spending the entire weekend with this military hunk but things were moving fast and his head was getting way too involved. If he let Jeff stay he couldn’t guarantee he’d hold his emotions.

Something about Jeff threatened to crawl inside and not let go.

“No, you should stay.” The words popped out but in retrospect he meant them.

Why waste a perfectly good weekend. He relaxed into Jeff’s heat and let the long night get the best of him as he closed his eyes and settled in.

Besides, it was just sex and Jeff was in the military, it’s not as if he could stay for long.

Chapter Five

Jeff stirred, his legs stiff and arms curled around a pillow. His eyes opened to a nearly pitch dark room as he scrubbed the sleep from his face. He turned to the opposite side of the bed to find rumpled sheets and pillows strewn—but no Finn.

What time was it?

Heaving one leg over the edge of the bed and then the other, Jeff managed to pull himself to an upright position. He ached like he’d gone three rounds in a boxing ring. Despite the soreness he couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept so hard and given half the chance he’d probably sleep the day away.

Unfortunately nature called and he needed to get a bearing on how much of the day had disappeared. He plucked his jeans from the bedroom floor and fished in the side pocket for his cell phone. Thankful when his hands wrapped around the small gadget, he pulled it out and flipped open the top.

The bright digital display read : am. On a sigh of relief he hadn’t wasted his entire day in bed alone, he padded into the adjoining bathroom and relieved himself. He inhaled deeply, recognizing the subtle scent of Finn’s cologne and the even stronger smell of him. Fucking made him think of sex and long drawn out kisses that went straight to his head.

Back in the bedroom, which his eyes adjusted to after a few seconds, he noticed the heavy drapes covering the windows. Likely room darkening that protected the space from the blazing light of the desert sun. Perfect sense for a man who made a living in the middle of the night.

He slid into his pants, foregoing a shirt or shoes. With any luck he wouldn’t need them quite yet.

Now to find Finn.

Outside the dark interior of the master bedroom, Jeff had to shield his eyes from the flood of light. In the kitchen everything looked just as they’d left it last night and still no sign of Finn.

When the faint sound of guitar music drifted through the living room, he guessed where he’d find his missing lover. He followed the musical trail to the end of the hallway and gently eased into the room hoping not to disturb him.

Finn sat in a chair with his back facing the door and his bare feet propped in the window. From the naked toes tapping to the beat of the music to the tousled hair, Finn was a damned sexy man and he felt lucky to observe him here in his element like this.

Jeff noticed the guitar in his lap; add playing his own music to his long list of talents.

The low smoky voice tugged at his groin much as it had the night before. He leaned against the doorframe listening to the song about recovery. Specifically recovering from a lost love and finding out fate had a cruel hand but in the end things ended up just like they were supposed to. It served as a stark reminder that he didn’t know much about Finn and for some reason that bothered him. Suddenly he wanted to learn all there was to this fascinating man.

He’d never heard this tune before and wondered if Finn had written it himself, making the lyrics personal.

He could certainly identify.

Joining the military had seemed the perfect way to escape an oppressive life.

And for years it was. But like the saying goes, time does heal all wounds and when he’d grown past his early failures he’d discovered living a partial lie wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be. The song continued and the urge to gather Finn in his arms and kiss the man senseless overwhelmed him. Distract him from the day to day of life with a passion that shocked him.

They’d had a great time last night but Jeff wanted more before he had to leave and head back to base and the reality of his chosen path. A job he loved where he had to hide part of who he was. After a weekend all the guys would get together in one of the beer gardens and shoot the shit about who got laid and how.

Maybe he’d skip the ritual tonight and spend a few extra hours with Finn. Make more memories to hold him over until next time.

His heart stuttered in his chest. Next time. He wasn’t supposed to go there. Ever.

“Judging by the creases in your forehead, those must be some pretty heavy thoughts you’ve got going on.”

He jerked at the sound of Finn’s voice. So lost in thought he hadn’t even realized the music had stopped.

“Just enjoying the entertainment. That was a great song by the way. How come you didn’t play that one last night?”

Finn placed the guitar on the table next to him. “It’s a new one I’m saving for the recording.”

“Recording?”

“Yeah, as soon as our agent irons out a few more details, Jim and I will be setting in some new tracks for our new label.”