Don't Turn Back (Coming Home Book 1) (26 page)

I really don’t know what else to say to her, if anything at all. 

I begin to walk towards her, thinking maybe if I could hold her hand or embrace her, everything will be all right.
It was all just a bad dream, right?
 

“Don’t touch me!” Her words are bitter, and they shake me awake.

“Look, I’m sorry. Can we at least talk about this?” I hope she notices the hurt in my eyes. I am truly sorry for my behavior, and I feel like shit.

“I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuses, or hers for that matter. The two people I care for the most have completely betrayed me.”

“Please…” I just want to forget this nightmare. “Please give me a chance to explain.”

“Just get out. I don’t want you here.”

She turns to walk away, and I’m left standing alone. She closes the bedroom door again, and I can barely make out her sobbing on the other side.
How could I have been so freaking stupid?

I really don’t care about the way that I look right now, I just need fresh air to clear my head. I grab the keys off the table and head out the front door. I figure the best thing for me to do right now is give her some time to calm down.

The room is dark when I wake up. I feel like I’ve been run over by a bus as I rub my face with the palms of my hands. I glance over at the clock and see it’s almost nine o’clock. 

“Shit!” 

I’ve got less than an hour to shower and get ready for work. I think about calling in sick, but not only is that not in my nature, I have already taken a fair amount of time off in the last two weeks. It wouldn’t be right this late at night to try to find someone to cover my shift. I can’t get over how I have slept the entire day away.

Brian is nowhere to be found in the apartment.
Good. I’m not in the mood to see him.
He knows how much the situation with him and Rebecca really pissed me off.

There’s simply not enough time, so I don’t bother washing my hair. I pull it up in a ponytail and throw on the slightest bit of makeup, enough to make me look presentable. Hopefully there won’t be many guests checking in tonight to witness my weak attempt at looking decent.

I leave the lamp on like always and walk to my car. The parking space next to mine is empty, just like the space in my heart right now.

I realize I’ve not eaten all day, so I pull through the drive-thru at McDonald’s and order some fries and a large Coke. I don’t think my stomach can handle much else, and hopefully the drink will settle the nausea that still lingers in the pit of my stomach.

I pull in to work and see Rebecca standing behind the counter, her purse already on her shoulder, ready to leave. I’m not sure what to say to her, if anything. Right now, I’m really not ready to have a conversation with her about the events of last night, because I’m sure I will most likely say something I’ll regret later. I suddenly see a flashback of her and Brian locked in their kiss, which ignites my anger all over again.

I put my things away, and within seconds she is gone, not bothering to say goodbye or covering anything I might need to know pertaining to work.
I wonder, is she even sorry, or proud of what I walked in on? I wonder who initiated the kiss first? How far would things have gone between the two of them had I not interrupted their kiss?
Just thinking about it sickens me.

I try to eat some of my fries, but end up tossing them in the trash. It’s going to be a very long night.

I am so relieved to see Sylvia the next morning. 

“Sweetie, you feeling okay?” she asks me.

“Not really, but I’ll be fine. I just need some rest.” Even though I slept all of the previous day, I still feel as though by body needs time to recuperate. I don’t feel like sharing any more information with her, even though she has been like a second mother to me since my parents started traveling. 

“Why don’t you go ahead and head out? I’ll cover the front until someone gets here.” 

“Oh Sylvia, you’re an angel. I owe you.” I walk over and give her a hug.

I’m barely able to keep my eyes open as I drive home. I find myself glancing around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Brian. I pull into the parking lot at the apartment, and there’s still no sign of Brian’s car. I can’t allow myself to worry about him right now.

Walking into the apartment, I get the feeling that someone has been here. I walk into the bathroom, and see there are still water droplets on the shower door. 

Brian, knowing I would be at work, must have come by to shower before heading out to work. He knew how much time he could take before I showed up. I can’t lie; I miss seeing him, but my heart can’t take the pain right now. I’m just not ready to face him or listen to his lame excuses.

I climb into bed and fall asleep instantly. I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep, but suddenly, I sit up and realize I was having a bad dream. I could clearly see Rebecca and Brian, dancing together, his arms holding her close. Together, they move as one across the dance floor. No, no, NO! In the nightmare, I’m nowhere in the picture.

The next few days go by in a haze. It’s the same routine: I go to work and replace Rebecca each night. She still will not look or speak to me. It’s killing me, this awkward behavior that exists between us. We can’t continue going on like this forever. I still have not seen or heard anything from Brian, either. I wonder where he is staying; I’ve noticed he isn’t coming by the apartment anymore. I’m curious if Rebecca knows of his whereabouts, but I’m also nervous to ask her about it. I think back to the text messages that were mysteriously coming through Brian’s phone and wonder could it have been Rebecca instead of some unknown caller like he led me to believe.

On Friday morning, my dad calls just as I’m getting home from work. It’s comforting to hear his voice, since I’ve had such a hellish week, but I don’t bother to tell my dad of my troubles. We chat for a few minutes, and then he tells me that he’s called and already made an appointment for me to have my car serviced. My dad is always on top of things like that for me. But great, I would rather crawl under a rock than have to face Brian at work. I think about taking my car somewhere else to avoid him, but I know my dad wouldn’t be happy if he found out.  He is a loyal customer to Jared. 

I bite the bullet and get ready to head out for a few errands and my service appointment. I’m so thankful that after tonight’s shift I will be off the next two nights. The anger and frustration has really stressed me out all week, and I haven’t been able to get much rest.

I pull into the parking lot at the oil lube shop and glance around for Brian’s car. Funny, I don’t see it, so I start to wonder if maybe he’s off for the day. Jared walks out to meet my car, and he recognizes me as I let my window down. “Hi Jennifer. Haven’t seen you in a while. How were your holidays?”

“Everything was very nice. My parents came home for two weeks and stayed at my brother’s house. It was nice spending time with them.”

“I sure miss having your dad stop by. He’s always been so meticulous about things, but I love that man. Maybe next time they are passing through for a visit, he could stop by? I would enjoy seeing him again. It was great talking to him on the phone when he called earlier to make your appointment.”

“I will definitely send him by to see you. He was so persistent about my coming to the shop today. You know him; he follows every service reminder like clockwork. By the way, I didn’t see Brian’s car here. Is he off today?” I try to keep a calm expression on my face as I question Jared about Brian’s whereabouts.

I can tell by the expression on Jared’s face that I’ve put him on the spot. “Jennifer, Brian doesn’t work here anymore.”

“What?” I am suddenly taken off guard.

“He didn’t tell you?”

There is a burning sensation in my gut, and I think I may be sick.

“What are you talking about? When did this happen?” For a moment, I think it must have been within the last day or so, because I haven’t noticed Brian being in the apartment like I did towards the beginning of the week.

“He’s been gone since before Christmas.” Jared hesitates before continuing. “We had an incident happen here at the shop, and I had to make the decision to let him go. It’s a shame because I really liked the guy.”

“I had no idea, Jared. He didn’t bother to tell me.” I am fighting off the urge to throw up. “Jared, can you point me in the direction of the bathroom please? I’m suddenly not feeling very well.” 

I run from the car and barely make it inside to the courtesy area. Thankfully there was no one occupying the single bathroom. I lock the door behind me, just as everything comes up. I reach over and turn on the water from the sink because I’m embarrassed for anyone to hear me. I have not been able to eat very much this week because of my nerves, so I’m mostly dry heaving. I cough slightly and walk to the sink when I feel it’s safe to leave the toilet. 

I look up in the mirror and barely recognize my own reflection. My face is pale, and my eyes are swollen, thanks to the strain from the vomiting. I splash cold water on my face and pat it dry with a paper towel. 

I breathe a sigh of relief when I open the door and notice the waiting area is empty.
Thank goodness
. I see a vending machine off to the side and fumble through my purse for some change. I select a Sprite, hoping it will settle my stomach. 

Jared walks in and notices by my appearance that I’m really not feeling well. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine. Must be a bug or something.” I tell him, struggling to keep my head up. “Do you mind if I come back next week for my car’s service? I really need to get home and lie down.” 

“Can I call someone to come and get you?” Jared offers.

“No, I think I can make it home. My apartment is not too far from here. Thank you for asking.” 

“Sure thing. You be careful driving, and get yourself some rest. Oh, and tell Brian I asked about him, will ya’?” Jared definitely seems like a sincere gentleman.

Right now, I’m completely focused on just getting home. I don’t want to concern myself with Brian and all the lies he’s been coming up with. Now knowing that this has been going on since before Christmas only sickens me more. For weeks, he has had me believing he’s been going to work
. How did I never catch on to his lies?
And where the hell has he been going since I’m home during the day?
I never suspected a thing.
How stupid could I be? Is it possible he was with Rebecca?