Don't Turn Back (Coming Home Book 1) (28 page)

“Thank you doctor.” I don’t really know much else to say to him.

“If you don’t have any questions for me, I’ll give you two a moment. I’ll send my nurse in with your shot and you can be on your way.”

The doctor shuts the door behind him, the sound echoing in the silence that has taken over the room. I really don’t know what to say.

Suddenly, Jennifer reaches to cover her face with her hands. I can see she is about to become upset. I stand up to walk to her side just as she immediately bursts into tears. The only thing I know to do is wrap my arms around her, and just hold her. But she senses my nearness and cuts her eyes over to me, as if to indicate I need not come any closer to her. The frustration between us just keeps building.

“Baby, I don’t know what to say.” These are the only words that I can manage.

When she pulls her hands away, her face is drenched in tears. Her eyes are red, and I wish I knew something to say or do to comfort her. My first reaction is to punch the wall, mad at myself for being so irresponsible, but I remain calm for her sake and mine. I don’t need to cause a scene, especially here at the hospital, or to upset her more.

Through her sobs, she manages to say, “I can’t believe this is happening.” 

I stand there helplessly, as close as I possibly can, without upsetting her further.  I do all I can to choke back my own tears. I don’t want her to see me cry. There is a knock on the door, and the nurse walks in holding a shot and the release papers for Jennifer.

“Here you go. This is going to sting a little, but it should start to help you feel better right away. Make sure you get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluids. By the way, congratulations to you both.” The nurse has no idea about the impact that the news is having on us right now. She sees Jennifer’s tears, but mistakes them for tears of happiness instead of tears of sadness that now plague her body.

When the nurse leaves, I step out into the hallway to allow Jennifer a chance to change into her regular clothes, and to have a moment to herself. I walk out to the lobby, and it feels like everyone is staring at me, like they somehow all know how careless I’ve been. I know this is just my own imagination, but this is, by far, the biggest obstacle I have ever had to face. Nothing in my past comes close to what I’m staring at now.

I look back and see Jennifer walk through the doorway. I hand over her coat and tell her to wait inside the lobby area while I pull the car to the front.

The entire ride back to her apartment is silent. She stares blankly out the window, no tears and no conversation. I want to say something, but I’m uncertain how she will respond. We get back to the apartment and I walk around to open the car door for her. She allows me to help her inside, and I put away her purse and coat. 

“Here, let me help you.” She slides off her shoes and props the pillow up on the arm of the couch. I reach for the blanket and spread it over her.

“Thank you.” She manages to say in the softest voice.

I look through the refrigerator and notice how very little she has to drink. I pour a glass of water for her and return it to the living room. She takes a sip and places it on the table next to the couch.

I go out on a limb and ask, “Jennifer, can I run down to the store and pick up a few things for you?” I’m not ready to leave her side just yet. I want to take care of her.

“I don’t want to put you through any trouble. You were kind enough to take me to the hospital, and for that, I’m thankful.” It pains me to hear her distant, emotionless tone.

“I want to help you. Please, just let me do this for you.” I plead with her.

“Fine, if it will make you feel better.”

“Jenn, I know you’re upset. I’m begging you to let me help.”

“Bring my purse will you.” She says as she finally gives in to me.

I grab her purse from the bedroom and hand it over. She pulls a few bills from her wallet and hands them to me. 

At first, I am hesitant to take them. I don’t have any money to buy the things she needs, but I don’t want her to know this. If I don’t take the money, I am screwed, for her sake. After a few long moments, I take the money from her and tuck it into my pocket.

“I know you don’t have any money, so you might as well just take it.” She says this too with little to no emotion at all.

I don’t know how to respond, so I walk over to the patio door and stand there in silence. How did she find out and how much does she know?

I may be tired and weak at the moment, but I’ve got Brian in a corner now. He has no choice but to come clean. He turns to face me from where he is standing at the patio door. 

“I guess you know, huh?” He ducks his head and won’t look me in the eye.

“Yes, I know about your job. Look at me Brian.” I pull my strength from deep within and hold my own with him. “How could you lie to me?”

“I didn’t exactly lie.”

“Cut the crap, Brian. You didn’t exactly tell the truth either.”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you. I’ve had no luck my entire life. Here, I think I have a good thing going, but then it blows up in my face. It wasn’t a job I was proud to have, but it was getting me through ‘til something better came along.”

“What happened? Jared wouldn’t go into details with me, but I know he was disappointed.” I’m doing my best to remain calm. Thankfully the medicine has eased the nausea, and even though I’m feeling a little better, arguing with Brian is not what I am in the mood to do. 

He walks over to the couch and sits on the edge next to me. “I’m sorry. Apparently some money went missing from a customer’s car, and I got blamed for it. I swear to you, I did not take it. I don’t know who did, but I swear, it wasn’t me.”

I want nothing more than to believe him. I really do.

“Jared caught me by surprise when he accused me, and I had no way to defend myself.”

“Did you tell him the truth?” I ask.

“Yes, I told him that I had nothing to do with it, but his decision was already made. I was so ashamed. Here it was Christmas, and I was jobless, again. Jennifer, it’s been like this my entire life. Just when I think I have something decent happening, it all blows up in my face, and I experience a major setback.”

I try my hardest to stay strong. I want to be angry with him because he wasn’t honest with me, yet I think he deserves better than the constant scrutiny he’s always been under.

“Have you been able to find something else?” I would really feel better about the situation if I at least knew he was making an attempt to make things right.

He runs his hands through his hair, and I can see by the expression on his face that he’s either not tried or has had no luck. I’m not sure I want to know the answer.

“I looked around, but everyone was only looking for temporary help through the holidays. It became very discouraging, and eventually I gave up. You’ve got to believe me when I tell you I want to do better. I want to be able to provide for you, for us. Especially us, now that ……” His words break off and he stands to walk out the door.

“Brian! Wait.” It’s no good. He’s out of the door, slamming it behind him.

I sit on the couch not knowing what to do next.
How could everything that felt so right a month ago, be so wrong now?
Maybe it had never been right at all.

I try to relax, but everything floods my mind. I toss back and forth. I think back to last weekend; I was so happy with everything in my life. Now, I’m left dealing with a jobless boyfriend (yes, for now I’m still calling him my boyfriend) and an unexpected pregnancy. For once, I’m thankful for my parents being on the road and not here.
How would I be able to explain it all to them?

I must have eventually dozed off, because I’m awakened by a new aroma wafting throughout my apartment. The television is on, but the volume is muted. I look around, but don’t see anyone. I carefully stand, knowing I’m still weak from earlier. I’ve been free of the nausea since returning from the hospital, and now there’s a slight hungry sensation taking over my stomach. 

Stomach
. Reality suddenly reminds me there’s also something else going on with my stomach. I never expected to be pregnant at twenty-one years old.

I hear a noise from the bathroom and realize that it’s water running. Brian must be in the shower. I walk over to the kitchen and see a basket of something covered on the stovetop. I lift the towel that’s draped over it, and inside are golden brown crescent rolls. They smell heavenly.

“I hope I didn’t wake you.” He says from the hallway.

I’m startled, not expecting anyone to walk in the room. I turn to see Brian standing in the doorway wearing nothing but his boxers. For a moment, I have a flashback to just a week ago when everything was right with us. So much has happened in such a short period of time.

“No, I woke up on my own.” I see there are several flavors of sports drinks on the countertop and quickly add, “Thanks for going to the store for me. You ran out so quickly, I didn’t know if you would go or not.”

“I apologize for earlier. I’m just shocked, and not sure what to make of everything that I’m suddenly having to face.” He actually sounds like he’s serious. “I wasn’t sure what flavors you would like, so I grabbed a couple of each.”

“I’m not picky. Looks like you were also in the mood to bake.” I point in the direction of the croissants. “They smell delicious.”

As I look over at him standing in the doorway, I resist the urge to walk over to him. My sick heart and body could really stand to use a hug from him right now. I am almost willing to give in to him and wrap my arms around him, enjoying the sensation I feel from him every time we are near, but I hold back. I’m still not ready to push everything aside yet knowing there is still the situation involving Rebecca that neither of us have bothered to mention.

“I picked up some potato soup from the deli.” He walks over to a container sitting on the countertop. “Can I warm some up for you? You look like you are feeling better and your color has returned.”

“That sounds good. I hope you got enough for both of us.” I’m willing to give him a chance to explain, starting with what happened with Rebecca last week.

I return to the couch and wait for Brian to heat the soup. He brings over a bowl for each of us and places the basket of rolls on the table. I immediately take one from the basket and it melts on my tongue.

“These are wonderful.” I pass one over to him, and my hand brushes his. There is a brief sizzle that runs through my veins.

“I thought you might like them. Jenn, I’m trying. You’ve got to give me a chance. I need to have a second chance to make things right with you. Please. I’m begging you.”

In all my life, I’ve never had someone beg for my forgiveness like Brian is doing now.

“First, can we talk about what happened with Rebecca?” I pause before saying more. It’s obvious that just from the sound of her name, he’s just as bothered as I am. “I’m willing to be more understanding about losing the job, but I’m not so sure I can so easily move past what I walked in on last weekend. Talk about having your heart ripped into shreds.”

“Have you spoken with her since then?” He asks curiously.

“No, not at all. It hurts me tremendously, but I need answers.” I try not to get upset. “We’ve practically ignored each other at work this week, to the point you would think we were enemies.”

“I know it’s got to hurt. I wish I could take the pain away, but…” I put my hand up, signaling him not to say more.

“And to make matters worse,” I struggle to remain calm. “I get sick from all this mess.”

Brian just stares at me, probably afraid that anything he says will be the wrong thing.

“Can you just tell me why I walked in the room to see you and my best friend making out? Just tell me!” I plead with him.

“Jennifer, you know we all had way too much to drink that night.” Brian says. “You were completely wasted. I got some things for her from the hall closet, and all she wanted to do was talk. She was lonely, and she kept mentioning Greg. Then, to make matters worse, she wouldn’t stop drinking.”