Double Jeopardy (16 page)

Ben, too, was different, although he probably had a fast car, and for sure he had money; everybody knew plastic surgeons made tons of money. But he had a depth that all the men she’d dated in the past had lacked.

Except Jack, and he didn’t really count.

She’d fallen in love a couple of times before, but never as with Ben; none of the men had ever been this romantic. She’d thought for a while Raymond was romantic, but she’d been so mistaken. Raymond was the loser she’d married. He’d bought her flowers and perfume, and she’d believed he was strong and capable, someone who could handle her, someone who saw past her fast mouth and wild ways to the insecure kid she hid so well from the world. Instead, he’d been a world-class liar and a con artist, and in the end a coward, as well. He’d smacked her around once.

Only once. Gemma had called her dad, who’d put the fear of death into Raymond and then spent a fortune on a lawyer who got an order to keep him from coming near her ever again. She’d never told Sera about that, and she’d begged her dad not to tell either Mama or Sera.

He’d given her a lecture, but when it was over Papa had promised, and Aldo always kept his promises.

“I was thinking about you and Raymond the other day, how you met him and got married within a month.”

Gemma’s whole body tensed. Sometimes having a twin was both uncanny and dangerous. It felt at times like this that Sera was actually reading her mind, and in a way she was. They picked up stuff from each other; they always had.

‘‘I remember envying you so much when you got married,” Sera was saying. “I know it didn’t work out, but still, you tried it. Marriage, I mean. I’d never have the guts to just go ahead and get married.”

Not guts, Gemma wanted to say. Not brains, either.

Blind stupidity was more like it.

Sera was way too smart to get herself into a mess like Raymond. And imagine St. Sera envying Gemma anything.

The truth was, it was always she who’d envied Sera. Her sister had a stability that she herself lacked, an ability to zero in on what she wanted and go after it, follow it through and make it work for her. There was a core of integrity in Sera that Gemma had always known was missing in her personality, no matter how much alike they were in other ways. It was as if nature had slipped up; instead of giving them exactly the same personalities, Sera had received the best of the deal.

Good twin, bad twin. It didn’t take a genius to figure out which was which in the Cardano family.

“Think you’ll ever try marriage again?” Sera turned to look at her sister, waiting for a response.

Gemma hesitated and then she nodded. She would; of course she would. She’d marry Ben in a minute if the time came. It would be such a relief to belong to someone like him, to just relax and be taken care of, not to have to chase affection or try to prove she was worthy.

“Maisie’s talking about buying an apartment or a condo in Vancouver,” Sera said next. “I guess it started me thinking about settling down someday.”

Gemma felt the familiar surge of jealousy and betrayal she always experienced when Sera talked about Maisie. Weren’t the two of them, Sera and Gemma, supposed to be each other’s best friends?

Nature had intended it that way; why else had they been born identical twins? But Sera had gone away since they’d grown up, not just physically, but emotionally, as well. And she’d given the intimacy that rightfully belonged to Gemma to a stranger. The one positive thing about getting smashed in the face was that it had brought her and Sera close again.

“I don’t know if I could do a good job of being married,” Sera was saying thoughtfully. “I’ve always figured marriage meant having to give up a big part of yourself. I felt sorry for Mama when we were growing up. She seemed to always put everybody else’s needs first, especially Papa’s. And he expects it.”

Gemma didn’t think that way at all. She’d spent more time with her mother and father lately than she had since early childhood. She’d done more listening and watching than ever before, and she’d noticed things about her parents.

Getting smashed had done that to her, made her notice stuff she’d been too busy to look at before.

Maria and Aldo cared about each other on all sorts of different levels, and somehow they’d managed to use their differences to make their union interesting and strong. She didn’t think Mama did anything she didn’t want to do. Sure, Papa was old fashioned and had definite ideas about how everybody should act, but Mama had a way of making him see reason.

But then, Sera had always been closer to their mother than Gemma. Maybe Mama had told Sera things she hadn’t told Gemma.

Maria had always been able to see Gemma’s bad side, and that had caused lots of tension between them. Aldo had been Gemma’s confidant She’d always known that whatever mess she got into, her papa would be there for her. He might rant and rave, but in the end he always helped.

“I went to a barbecue last weekend, mostly married couples with little kids. The guys did as much diapering and cooking as the women did. That’s the sort of relationship I want,” Sera was saying. “If I ever find the right guy.”

At that moment, Gemma desperately wanted to tell Sera that she thought she had met the right guy, but she didn’t have a damned pen or paper with her. She touched Sera’s shoulder and turned around, even though they’d gone only a few blocks.

Besides wanting to confide in her sister about Ben, Gemma knew Jack was coming over in a little while. He’d offered to teach her how to use the Internet and he was bringing over his laptop computer. She’d never been interested in computers before, but having Ben explain how he’d used computer imaging to fix her face intrigued her. She wanted to learn all she could about Ben’s work so she’d have something to talk to him about. When she could talk again.

“I happened to see Dr. Halsey yesterday afternoon,” Sera said offhandedly. “He told me you’d been in his office in the morning. He said he’s really pleased with how you’re healing. You do look great, Em. Not much longer now, and your jaw will be healed, too, and we can really talk again. This one sided conversation is a royal pain.”

Gemma was instantly on guard. Instead of confiding in Sera, when they got home she found a pen and paper and scribbled,
How did you happen to see Dr. Ben yesterday
?

“Oh, he dropped by the set. He wanted to see how a television sitcom was made.”

Alarms went off in Gemma’s head and heart.

Sera liked him. Gemma knew immediately, despite her sister’s attempt at sounding ultracasual. In big, scrawling letters she printed
Hands off on Ben, Sera. I really go for him, and I’m pretty sure he feels the same.

Sera took a long time to reply. Her head was bent over the paper, so Gemma couldn’t see her expression.

At last she looked up, straight into Gemma’s eyes. She looked for a long time and then she nodded.

Gemma knew her smile wasn’t genuine, though.

“Okay, Gemma. We’re not gonna disagree over a man.” There was a tiny catch in her voice, and Gemma cursed the wires in her jaw. It was so hard for her to communicate through writing.

While she was trying to figure out how much else to tell Sera, the doorbell rang and Jack arrived.

Sera talked to him for a brief moment about the computer he’d brought and then, with a goodbye that Gemma knew Sera intended to be light and cheerful, she left.

Jack was an excellent teacher, and Gemma quickly became engrossed in the workings of the computer. Within a few moments, excited by learning a new skill, she’d forgotten the awkward episode with her sister.

Sera drove blindly to a small park not far from her parents’ house. She turned off the motor and let her shoulders slump, as she struggled with the conflicting feelings that coursed through her.

In spite of the sickness in her gut, the overwhelming sense of unfairness, she had to make sense of what had just occurred.

She forced herself to deal with just the facts, to put aside her raw and painful emotions. Gemma was attracted to Ben, perhaps as powerfully as Sera herself was.

Her sister had been severely injured, in a fashion that every woman shuddered even to imagine. Gemma’s self esteem was at an all time low. Was Ben attracted to Gemma? Sera thought not, but how could she be certain? Something more than just her sister’s imagination must be involved here. Injured or not, Gemma was no fool, certainly not where men were concerned. She wouldn’t have a thing for Ben unless he’d given her some encouragement, would she?

That Ben could have shown her sister some of the same affection he was showing her hurt most of all.

And this wasn’t really about Ben, Sera reminded herself sternly. It was about her and her sister. It was about the genetic cell deep similarity that doomed them to fall in love with the same men. She stared blindly out for a long time, at kids on the play equipment, at soccer players madly chasing a ball, at young moms pushing their strollers. Gradually, the light faded and the park emptied. The street lamps came on, and the warmth of the summer day began to fade as night settled on the city.

It was after ten when at last she started the car, backed up and pulled into traffic, knowing exactly what she would do, what she had to do.

As she’d told her sister earlier, she wouldn’t compete with her over a man.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Maisie’s apartment had character but no elevator. After ten minutes, Sera was still breathing heavily from the three sets of stairs she’d climbed to reach it.

“It’s not the bloody set I’m concerned about, luv. It’s you,” Maisie declared. “There’s not much left to do. I can handle it fine. If you want to leave a couple days early, it’s not a big deal. The filming’s nearly done anyway. But what’s the hurry?”

Maisie scowled at Sera and wrapped the voluminous terry robe tighter around her middle. She’d been in the bathtub when Sera rang to say she needed to see her right away. There was a trail of wet footprints on the rug leading from the bathroom to the door.

Ordinarily, Sera would never have barged in with a scant ten minutes’ notice this late at night. But she had to settle this before she lost her nerve.

“You’re running away from this Halsey guy, aren’t you?” Maisie narrowed her eyes at Sera. “What’s that bastard done to you?”

“Nothing. I just need to go back to Los Angeles.”

“He get too close? You start to care more than you want to?” Maisie wasn’t going to drop the matter, and Sera was too heartsick to put up much of a defense.

“Something like that.”

Maisie shook her head. “Damned men, they really screw up a gal’s life. And her career. You’re walking away from the chance to do the sets for those movies, remember. Now, there’s a cool career move if ever I saw one.”

Sera knew. It hurt her to think about it. “I’m sure I can find something in L.A.”

“Maybe yes, maybe no. Come in and sit down. We’ll have a cup of tea and figure this out.” Maisie led the way into the kitchen and put the kettle on.

“I know this producer in San Diego, Pasquale Young. We had a thing together once in another lifetime. We keep in touch. He called me a couple weeks ago. He’s planning a pilot for a television drama set in the twenties and he thought maybe I’d like to do the sets. I would, too, if it didn’t mean working with him. We fight all the time when we’re not screwing our brains out. I can’t take it anymore. It’s too exhausting. He might have hired someone else by now, but if not, would you mind working in San Diego instead of L.A.?” She filled two mugs with hot water and dunked tea bags, then handed one cup to Sera.

“Are you kidding? Of course I wouldn’t mind.” The farther she was from Vancouver the better.

“It’ll be lots of responsibility and not much money. He’s working on a shoestring, what else is new. But it’ll be good on your resume, and in my opinion you’re more than ready to do a big project on your own. Look, I’ll give him a call early in the morning. I’ll tell him he’s damned lucky if he gets you. He’s a good guy, Pasquale. It’s just him and me together that doesn’t work.”

“Thanks, Maisie.” Tears threatened. “By rights you oughta just leave me in the lurch for walking out on you this way.”

“
If this was the beginning of filming instead of the end, I would.” Maisie was matter-of-fact. “I wouldn’t have any choice. I just wish you’d level with me about what’s really going on with you. Yesterday the hunky doctor comes by the set, takes you out to lunch, everything looks like hearts and flowers. Today you’re leaving.” She sipped her tea, her blue eyes trained on Sera. “Does he know you’re skipping town?”