Double Jeopardy (14 page)

One assessing glance confirmed that he looked even better half naked than he did clothed. His broad chest was matted with hair, his body trim and well muscled. He waved when she appeared after getting into her swimsuit in the change room adjacent to the pool. She walked past him and slid quickly into the water, self-conscious about her untanned skin.

They swam for a while and then rested, cool water lapping at their shoulders.

“Isn’t this great? I’ll bet you missed the pool when you moved out of this house,” Sera said.

“Yup. But now I get to use it whenever I like without the headache of upkeep. Although Stanley usually comes in with me, and trying to keep him from drowning sort of balances out not having to clean the pool, so Greg got the best of the deal after all. That kid has no fear. His favorite trick is to walk straight to the deep end, holler ‘
Watch me, Uncle Ben’
and jump in before I can get down there. He knows how to hold his breath, but it still scares me half to death. A couple of occasions I’ve had to leap straight in with my glasses on.”

This was the first time Sera had seen Ben without his glasses. He looked different—just as handsome but less professional. A little vulnerable, which Sera found sexy.

“Have you always worn glasses?” She clung to the edge of the pool, stretching her legs, enjoying the heat of the sun on her back. He pulled himself smoothly out of the water and sat on the edge, reaching a hand to haul her up beside him.

“Since I was in college. They’re a damned nuisance.”

“They really are,” she agreed heartily. “Gemma and I were both myopic. We must have been born that way. I had laser surgery four years ago to correct my eyesight and Gemma had her eyes done shortly afterward. Being able to see without glasses or contacts is a miracle. Ever think of having the surgery?”

“Never.” His response and the certainty in his tone surprised her.

“Why’s that?” She slipped on the sunglasses she’d remembered to bring. “You’re a surgeon, you’re aware it’s a really simple operation.”

“Umm.” He nodded. “I just wouldn’t ever undergo any sort of elective surgery,” he admitted with an abashed grin. “Having one of my colleagues operate on me at my request is my worst nightmare.”

She thought at first he was joking, but when she turned and looked at him, she realized he was absolutely serious.

A surgeon with a dread of surgery? Ben Halsey was a fascinating, complicated man. Sitting beside him in the sunshine, their bare, sun-warmed shoulders touching, thighs brushing, feet side by side gently sloshing the water, Sera realized she wanted to know much more about him. She wanted to know everything about him.

She was also certain she wanted to make love with him. Not today, but at some point in the not too distant future. He took her hand in his, and the physical connection intensified the electricity between them.

Ben was aware of it. She could tell by the way his breathing became uneven when their skin made contact. She could tell by the intense expression in his eyes each time he looked at her. Strange, she thought dreamily, how bodies knew long before minds admitted the truth.

She did her best to overlook the silent, sensual messages and concentrate instead on what they were talking about.

“How can you have a thing about surgery, Ben? You’re a surgeon yourself.”

“I’m totally irrational. I admit it. See, doctors make the worst patients. Any nurse will tell you that. You oughta ask Lily what Greg was like after his accident.”

Ben blew out a breath and shook his head. “He was so ornery he even made me want to punch him out, and he’s my best buddy. The nurses agreed he was the worst patient they’d ever seen. They gave him a certificate attesting to that. Quite a few reached the point where they wouldn’t even deal with him. There were only two nurses who weren’t intimidated by him.”

“Lily, and who else?”

Ben shook his head. “Nope, Lily wasn’t doing his nursing care. The Krupps twins were the ones who whipped him into shape.” In hilarious detail he described for her two militant nurses who’d managed to intimidate Greg.

Sera laughed at his story and thought of the man she’d met that day, the loving husband, the doting father, the entertaining, generous, charming host. He was easygoing, reasonable. “You’re exaggerating.”

Ben shook his wet head and pressed a hand to his bare, hairy chest. “God’s truth, I swear. He was way beyond obnoxious. Most doctors are if we land in hospital. I guess it’s because we know how many things can go wrong. And we’re inclined to be egotists. We figure nobody could possibly do anything as well as we’d do it ourselves. Which is at the bottom of my phobia about letting anybody cut into me.

“But that doesn’t make sense.” “I know. So I’m not always a sensible man, so what?” He grinned and in one lithe motion levered off the edge and into the water, sending it cascading over her. “C’mon back in. I’ll race you to the end.”

It was no contest. Sera was more than a competent swimmer, but Ben had raw power and a killer instinct for competition. She liked the fact that he didn’t hold back or pretend to let her win; he threw himself into the game as if his reputation depended on it.

They found a ball and tossed it back and forth, tested their ability to swim underwater from one end of the pool to the other and then back and finally stretched out side by side on chaises longues, catching their breath and drying off in the sunshine.

“So, Ben Halsey, besides being irrational, clearly you don’t like to lose,” Sera commented. “Did you grow up with a pile of brothers?”

“Only one. David’s three years older than I am. He’s a lawyer in Toronto. We were pretty competitive, all right. I guess we still are in some ways. He’s married to a lawyer. They’re partners in the same firm.” He grimaced. “Now, there’s competition for you, marrying somebody who does the exact same job you do.”

“I can’t imagine living with another set designer. That would be a recipe for disaster. And look at actors. Their track records are pretty dismal.” She remembered that Ben had been married at some point. “What did your wife do?”

“Vera was a nurse.” His voice changed when he talked about his marriage. The bantering was gone. “She worked on maternity at St. Joe’s.”

“So you were both in medicine. I guess that would cause problems.”

“I caused problems.” There was wry humor in his tone, but Sera could tell that beneath it he was totally sincere. “We married during my final year of internship, after knowing each other all of six weeks. It only took six more for me to realize I’d made a terrible mistake. I wasn’t ready for marriage, and I don’t think she was, either.”

“How long did it last?”

“Ten months. I had a chance to go to India and work extensively on burn patients. She didn’t want to go. Our relationship was falling apart, so I started divorce proceedings before I left.”

"At least you were both mature enough to realize the marriage was a mistake. And you didn’t have kids to complicate matters.” Sera wondered what Vera was like, where she was now.

“Vera miscarried in her fourth month.”

“Oh, Ben, I’m sorry. That must have been heartbreaking for you.” She’d seen today how he adored Stanley.

“I was relieved.” She hadn’t heard such harshness before in his voice. “See, I hadn’t planned on a baby. Vera got pregnant deliberately when the India thing came up, and I felt trapped and mad, because I knew it was her way of keeping me here, tied to her.” He turned toward her and lifted his sunglasses so she could see his green eyes. They held no laughter, only an old bitterness. “It was a big relief to me when she lost our baby. I told her I wanted a divorce and then I took off for India, feeling as if I’d solved a tough problem.”

Sera wondered why he was telling her all this. It obviously wasn’t something he brought up in casual conversation.

“Within a month, Vera attempted suicide. I’d suspected she was mentally unstable right after we married, but I hadn’t realized how seriously.”

Sera could only shake her head in horror.

“She survived, just barely.” He was silent for a while, and Sera didn’t know what to say.

At last he sighed and added, “It was a long while ago. I’ve never seen her since. I was in India when she was in the psych ward, and when I got back she’d moved in with her parents. I tried to call her a couple of times, but they made it pretty plain I wasn’t to have any contact with her. Time passed, and I never really tried anymore.”

“Where is she now?”

“North Vancouver. According to the hospital grapevine, she never fully recovered. She’s never worked again as a nurse or remarried. Her parents are dead now. Apparently she lives with her sister and works in a bakery. I feel bad about that, because she was well liked at St. Joe’s, really good at her job. Her family still blames me.”

“How long ago was all this?”

“Twelve years.”

“Seems to me that’s time enough for everyone to get over it. Maybe she needs counseling.” But even as she said it, Sera knew there were things you just didn’t get over. Look at her and Gemma; she’d never gotten over their differences. Who was she to judge Vera? And it was all too clear that Ben still felt guilty.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she offered. That was all she could think of to say.

“Not entirely, maybe. But I certainly wasn’t innocent, either.” He drew in a long breath. “I did a lot of soul searching and decided I was a selfish bastard who shouldn’t involve himself in serious relationships ever again.” He added in a deliberate tone, “I’ve stuck to that, Sera. I don’t see marriage or babies in my future.”

It took a minute, but then it dawned on her he was giving her a blatantly clear message. She was suddenly insulted and furious with him. How dare he assume she needed warning? How dare he assume he was irresistible to her? Even though he was.

“Are you telling me not to fall for you, Ben?” She said it quietly, but there was ice in her tone. “Because if you are, don’t flatter yourself.”

He looked disconcerted. “I guess I just want you to know all about me, good, bad, awful.” He was watching her with that intensity she found both arousing and disturbing, and now she resented the way he made her feel.

“But you’re warning me, as well,” she insisted.

He frowned. “I’m trying to be honest with you is all. I’m telling you right up front what kind of guy I am, so there’s no misunderstandings between us.”

Your Dr. Halsey is a love-’em-and-leave-’em sort of guy
. Sera could hear Maisie’s voice in her head. Why was she so outraged that he’d spelled it out for her? She wasn’t about to propose to him, for cripes sake.

All the same, she was angry. “What makes you think-“

Before Sera could continue, Greg leaned over the deck railing and hollered, “I’ve been slaving away over a fiery barbecue and the food’s ready. Stanley’ll escort you both to dinner.”

A second later, the little boy made his way carefully down the stairs toward them.

“Daddy says we gotta eat now, Uncle Ben.” He took Ben’s hand with one of his and waited until Sera got to her feet to put his small, damp fingers shyly in hers.

“Where’s Grendel gotten to, Stanley?” Sera did her best to subdue her exasperation with Ben.

“He’s hiding under the steps. He won’t play with me. He don’t like playing dinosaur. Why I couldn’t go swimming with you, Uncle Ben? Can I go next time?”

“Next time for sure, partner.”

They walked up the stairs with the boy chattering between them, and when they reached the top Greg handed them each a laden plate.

Although the food was delicious and everyone else laughed a lot, the shine had gone out of the afternoon for Sera. She was relieved when Ben suggested they leave soon after they’d eaten. On the drive back to her apartment neither of them said much. When he stopped the truck, he asked if she wanted him to take another look at the color samples.

She refused, understanding that it was his way of asking whether he could come up. “I sort of promised Mom and Dad I’d keep Gemma company tonight,” she improvised, reaching for the door handle.

“Sera.” He grabbed her wrist. “If I sounded like an arrogant SOB back there, I’m sorry.” His voice softened. “The fact is, I’m very attracted to you, and I want absolute honesty between us, so we know exactly where we stand.”

“And where do you think that is, Ben?” She glared at him, aware at the same time that Grendel had his nose pressed tight against the window, eyeing her with utter devotion.