Doubting Thomas (Tarnished Saints Series) (15 page)

He took a deep breath, reached out and pulled back the paper. To his surprise and delight, inside the box sat a multi-meter, something he’d always wanted but never been frivolous enough to buy himself. He gave a long, deep whistle and held it up into the light for everyone to see.

“What is it?” asked Zeke, disappointment edging his words.

“It’s a calculator, you jerk,” said Jake.

“No it’s not,” said Josh. “It’s a radio.”

“You’re both wrong,” Dan butted in. “It’s a multi-meter for finding electrical problems and doing tune-ups on cars.” He looked over Thomas’s shoulder. “It’s got a volt, ohm, tach and dwell. Wow, is it a nice one.”

“That’s right, Dan,” he said, too choked up to say more.

“Well, do you like it?” Angel asked.

“It’s too expensive,” he grunted.

“That’s not what I asked. Gus at the gas station told me you have been eyeing this in his shop for quite some time. I thought that maybe . . . ”

“Well, you thought wrong.” He put the gift back in the box and closed the lid. “I won’t accept charity.” He pushed the box into her hands.

“It’s not charity, it’s a present.” She pushed it back onto his lap.

“I can’t accept presents, either.”

“Why not, Pa?” broke in Jake. “You let us keep our presents.”

“That’s different.” He put the box on Angel’s lap and stood.

“Really?” Angel threw the box on the couch and stood next to him, arms crossed. “How so?”

“Yeah, Pa,” said Sam. “How so?”

What was happening here? Ever since Angel came into the house, she’d turned his life upside-down. Now even his ever-obedient son, Sam was questioning his motives. It was something he would never had dared to do before.

“Because . . . ” he couldn’t think of an excuse that wouldn’t make him sound stupid. How could he tell them it was embarrassing to him to take such an expensive present from a woman? How could he tell them he felt like pond scum for not having a present to offer Angel on their wedding day, accepting her into her new family?

He hadn’t wanted to give her a present, he’d only wanted to kick her out of the house and off his land. But now, she’d made his children smile. She’d broken through barriers and gotten Eli to hold her hand, and even Jake to agree to play with her. He knew she was something special. So how could he ever prove it to her? He wanted to, desperately.

He wanted to give her a present more expensive than his. One she would really want. But he didn’t know her well enough to know what she liked. Plus, he didn’t have the money to buy one.

“Because I didn’t get her anything,” he finally admitted.

“I don’t want anything,” she told him.

“Well, neither do I,” he matched her.

“Okay,” she said finally, picking up the present, closing up the box, fiddling with it in her arms. “Then I won’t expect you to take this until you give me my present.”

“I don’t have one,” he blurted out. “And don’t intend to get one.”

His boys became quiet. The smile in her eyes faded.

“That’s fine,” she said. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I’m sorry.”

She walked off to the bedroom, and Thomas stood there feeling like the biggest idiot to walk the earth. Why had he said that? He never meant to sound so cruel. It was just his way. He wasn’t used to giving and receiving presents and it made him uncomfortable. Actually, to be honest it was painful trying to change. Angel was pushing buttons and forcing him to take a good, long look at himself, and he didn’t like what he saw.

“Have breakfast without me,” said Thomas, heading for the door.

“Where are you going, Pa?” asked Dan.

“I don’t know, but I’m taking the truck. I need to get away for awhile.”

“Will you be back later for my match with Angel?” asked Jake from the kitchen.

Jake had never asked for anything in his life, but now he was asking for nothing more than his father’s presence. He wanted to be there for Jake, but he felt uncomfortable knowing Angel would be there too.

“We’ll see,” was all he said, and headed out the door.

Chapter 15

Angel walked out to the barn with Gabby at her side. She’d picked up her daughter right after breakfast as promised, and told her they’d spend the whole day together.

“I missed you last night, Mommy,” said Gabby, just about breaking her heart.

“I know, sweetie. I missed you, too.”

“Why can’t I stay at the cabin overnight, too?”

Angel stopped and picked up her daughter, holding her tight to her chest.

“I thought you wanted to spend the night with your good friend, Stacy. Kind of like a sleep-over.”

“I did,” she said. “I was just hoping you could be there, too. When are we going to be going home?”

Angel hugged her daughter tighter, her mouth kissing the top of her blond little head. She had thought about this, and wasn’t sure of the answer. She had meant only to spend a few weeks on the lake, but then she’d quit her job. Her boss had phoned the Ainsleys last night, begging her to come back, but she declined. She couldn’t be mother to Thomas’s children and at the same time work with the agency who was trying to take his kids away.

“I don’t know, honey. I’m not sure what we’re going to do.”

“When you’re done playing mommy to the Taylor boys, maybe you can play mommy to some of my friends and we could live with them for awhile.”

“No, Gabby, I don’t think you understand.” She put the little girl down, and looked her in the eyes. “I’m not playing a game here. I married Thomas, for real. I’m the new mother to the boys and I can’t just up and leave them.”

“Then Thomas is my new dad, right?”

Her gut wrenched at the sound of the words. Brad was her dad and always would be. Nothing could take that from her or her child. She wondered now if this is how Thomas felt as well.

“He’s your step-father, Gabby. Your dad is dead, but he lives on in our hearts.”

“I know,” she said. “But I just wondered why the Taylor boys get to be with their new mom all night long, but I can’t be with my new dad.”

Thomas’s truck pulled up just then, the tires crunching over the gravel.

“You’re right,” she told the little girl. She was only trying to protect Gabby from a man and circumstances of which she knew little. But now she realized in the process, she’d been hurting her own daughter. “I’ll tell Tillie you’re going to stay with us tonight. And you can stay here whenever you want. But if you want to sleep over with Stacy while she’s here on vacation too, you just tell me.”

“Yay,” she said, jumping up and down and clapping her hands. Thomas walked up just then, confusion showing on his face.

“What’s all the excitement about?” he asked.

“Hi Daddy,” Gabby said, running up to him and throwing her arms around him. Thomas froze, arms stiff at his sides.

“Angie? What’s this all about?”

“Gabby is going to be staying with us from now on.”

“Here?” he asked, panic painting his tone.

“Well, she’s part of the family now, too. I don’t see why not.”

“Is that all right with you Daddy?” she asked, gazing up at him.

Angel held her breath, hoping to God he wouldn’t say no. If he did, she didn’t know what she’d do. She’d already promised Gabby, and by right she should be with them. But she knew the cabin was already overcrowded. She wasn’t sure where they’d sleep one more person, and she couldn’t blame Thomas for questioning this.

“Well . . . of course,” he finally answered. Then slowly and as if still contemplating his actions, he reached out and gave Gabby a small hug.

“Come on,” yelled Zeke from the field. “Jake is ready for the archery challenge.”

Gabby squealed and ran off toward her new brother.

“Thanks,” said Angel, flashing a smile. “That meant a lot to Gabby.”

“You don’t need to thank me. She’s my daughter now just as much as my boys are your sons. I wondered why you didn’t bring her here yesterday. The only reason I hesitated while answering is because I never had a daughter. I’m nervous about the whole thing. I don’t know much about little girls.”

“Well, you seem to know all about big girls,” she said, reaching out boldly and pecking him on the cheek.

His arms went to her shoulders and he didn’t let her retreat. “Is this teasing, Angie, or do you really mean it?”

She swallowed deeply. She never meant to tease him, and would have to be more aware of her actions.

“I’m not teasing,” she answered. “I’m your wife. I didn’t know I needed permission to kiss you.”

“Then the same should go for your husband, don’t you agree?”

Her heart beat rapidly inside her chest, knowing he wanted her permission to kiss her, yet did it in his own way. Not asking, but at the same time not forcing himself on her either.

“Yes,” she agreed. “I would say you have the right to kiss me whenever you want, but not fondle me in front of the children.”

He pulled her closer and pressed his lips against hers. Her eyes closed in the process and she felt herself melt in his arms. His lips were strong and firm, yet his kiss was tender and gentle. When he pulled away, she felt disappointed it had to end.

“I would never fondle you in front of the children, Angie, and you know it. When the time comes that we decide to make love, I’ll make sure the children are nowhere around.”

So he still wanted to make love to her. This thought pleased her. She laughed at his last comment and grabbed his hand to pull him toward the competition.

“Then we’ll both be waiting for a long, long time,” she said. “Because in this small cabin there is nowhere to go without having children around.”

Thomas had the best afternoon of his life. He’d given the kids the whole afternoon off from doing chores, and spent the day together with his boys, Angel and Gabby.

He’d watched as Jake beat Angel a dozen times in a row at archery. He’d kept upping the bets and Angel had foolishly accepted. She now was not only cleaning the stables for a week but also doing dishes.

She’d also lost a game of Frisbee to Josh, and barrel racing with Dan, taking on the chores of laundry and weeding the garden. He almost believed at first that she’d really been that bad at sports, but when she lost tic tac toe to Sam and taken on the household chores, then lost paper - scissors - rock with Zeke, therefore getting the responsibility of collecting the eggs and making supper, he knew she’d been doing it all on purpose.

“She is so sly,” he said, to himself, having stopped working on the car for the day and heading toward the stable. Finding the electrical problem on the Grand Marquis was taking him way too long. He would have had it done by now if he’d used the multi-meter Angel had bought him, but he was too proud to ask for it, and he hadn’t yet found a present suitable to give her.

He’d spent most the morning window-shopping in town, looking for some kind of present for his new wife. But the negligee he’d seen on the back rack at Winston’s Mercantile was just too much to be given so early in their relationship. He didn’t want to look like he was asking for sex. Actually, he’d thought about just coming out and asking several times, but instead had used his energy to chop wood or dig fence posts.

Next, he thought of giving her something more practical, like a kitchen appliance. But somehow a toaster wouldn’t match up to the gift she’d chosen for him. Nor would it suffice, since he’d already told her they lived simply and didn’t need frivolities. Gus had suggested he get her some jewelry, as his wife always liked that. But all the jewelry in town was expensive, and gaudy in his opinion. He’d never seen Angel wearing any jewelry besides his hoop earring on her finger. She just didn’t seem the kind to take to bangles, so he’d come home empty-handed.

He’d smiled when he’d seen the way little Gabby was getting along with the boys. Especially Zeke. She fit right in, and he liked her. Having a daughter was something he could get used to. Now, the hustle and bustle of the afternoon was quiet. He’d gone and hid his head under the hood of the car to escape his thoughts of Angel, and the kids had all gone off somewhere.

He approached the stable, hearing the shoveling from within, and walked up behind Angel cleaning out the stalls without her noticing him there.

He leaned an arm atop the stall and just watched her for a moment. “Don’t work so hard.”

She jumped and dropped the shovel, holding a hand to her chest. “You scared me.

She looked hot and tired and very dirty. She’d obviously never shoveled horse manure before, or she’d know how to do it without getting it on herself. It came with years of practice.

“Let me do this.” He picked up the shovel, and she tried to get it back.

“No, I lost the bet, I clean the stalls.”

“You’ve got dinner to prepare, or have you forgotten you lost that bet too?”

She blew a puff of air, and a loose strand of hair blew upward. She tried to regain her breath.

“I forgot about that.”

“You also forgot about laundry, but I’ll let you do that tomorrow. I’ll finish up the rest of the chores. Why don’t you go and take a shower?”

She didn’t fight him, and he knew it was because she was too tired.

“All right,” she said. “What did you want me to make for dinner?”

“I’ll give you a hand with that, too.”

She started away, but then came back. “Thank you Thomas for letting the children have the afternoon to play.”

He put the shovel to the side and stood up. “Thank you for showing me what a jerk I’ve been.”

“Well, I’m glad it worked,” she said. “It’s a good thing I’m no good at sports, or the kids would have had to cut their playtime short to do these chores.”

“Don’t think I don’t know you lost all those challenges on purpose.”

“I’m just not good at challenges, I guess.”

“Oh, right.” He secured the stable gate and stood next to her. “Where are the kids?”

“The little ones are at the tree house with Gabby,” she said. “Dan and Sam went fishing.”

“All right, then I’ll make you a little challenge as well.”

“Really?” She squinted, obviously wondering what he was up to.

“We’ll race to the house. First one there gets to use the shower, and the other one cooks dinner. What do you say?”

“Well . . . what’s wrong with the horse?” she asked, making him look the other way.

As soon as he heard her giggle, and the sound of her feet running out of the stable, he knew he’d been had.

“I don’t like cheaters,” he said, running after her.

He stayed on her heels, letting her win, and when she reached the cabin door, she leaned against it, panting for breath.

“Looks like I get the shower and you get to peel potatoes.” She smiled at him, her smile lighting up a dark spot in his heart. He hadn’t taken time to play either in life since Brianne’s death. It felt so good to laugh again. He swept her off her feet and she squealed playfully.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Carrying my bride over the threshold,” he said, leaning forward and smothering her with a kiss. He kicked open the door with his foot, then kicked it shut from inside, all the while continuing to kiss her as he carried her to the shower.

“Need help scrubbing your back?” he asked, putting her on her feet.

“I’ll scrub my back, you scrub your potatoes,” she said with a laugh and hurried inside the bathroom, closing the door in his face.

Angel never enjoyed a shower more in her life. Her body ached from shoveling out the stalls, and her skin was slightly burned from the hot summer sun. She was not used to being outdoors for such long hours at a time. The cool water splashing over her helped to take away the heat. Still, she knew she’d feel the sunburn dearly tonight.

She shut off the spray and stepped out, first noticing there wasn’t a towel. She’d rushed into the bathroom so quickly, trying to avoid Thomas’s offer to scrub her back, that she hadn’t thought to see if she had everything she needed.

She could hear Thomas out in the kitchen, clanking pots and pans and the sound of grease splattering atop the wood burning stove. She knocked lightly on the closed bathroom door, but he didn’t hear her. Then, she knocked a bit harder. 

“Angie?” she heard from the other side of the door. “Are you knocking to come out of the bathroom? You don’t need permission.”

“I need a towel.”

Silence. She could feel his wanting right through the door.

“So you mean to say you’re standing there totally naked?”

“That’s usually how I take a shower, don’t you?”

“Usually.” Silence again. “My potatoes are burning. The towels are in the bedroom. No one is here but me. Go on and run through and I promise not to look.”

“Why does that sound to me like the wolf in grandmother’s clothing saying to come a little closer?”

“Oh, all right,” he said. “Just a minute.”

He was gone for mere seconds, then she saw the doorknob turning. She would have used her dirty clothes to cover herself, but they smelled like manure, and she was clean. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest, and turned away from the door.