Down to Ash (#Dirtysexygeeks Book 2) (10 page)

Knowing her, she wasn't entirely joking. If he weren’t careful, he'd find himself the owner of a fucking ferret. In camo. “I thought we were gaming,” he said. “This is starting to feel like talking.”

She chuckled. “Fine. I challenge you to a
duel
. Dun duh dun!”

Victor shook his head, amused. “Smack talk, really?”

“I've seen you play on the PS3 and PS4. You're serviceable.”

He cracked a smile at his phone. “Suit up.”

For the next forty minutes of their lunch hour, she kicked his ass in at least three duels. She had skills, but it didn't surprise him she'd played WoW for only a year.

“Why do I need to know what DPS means?” she asked, “Or is it DDPS? If you're a Tank, do your job. If you're Damage, hit all your buttons. That's the universal rule for any game. Push all the damn buttons.”

He glanced at his phone and could only shake his head. “Never say that to anyone but me. Assholes troll the chat.” Assholes he would hunt down and break in half if they did more than say shitty things to her.

“I learned that pretty quickly. Most folks are nice. Some fit the stereotype of woman-hating men...who live in their mother's basements,” she said, and then added, “I need a snack.”

“You're on your lunch.” He couldn't help but laugh.

“I know,” her tone turned a little prim, “but you don't want to ravish me so I had to give you an ass spanking in the only way you'll let me. Eating wasn't a priority.”

Right. His parting shot about them never having sex again had rankled. Victor still wasn't sure if he'd thrown it out just to see how she'd react.

He sighed at himself and the situation. “You could, maybe, let someone else have the last word.”

She sucked her teeth. “Where's the fun in that?”

He checked the time and logged out of the game. “What's the point in getting the last word?”

Ash huffed, likely when she noticed he'd left WoW. “You started this.”

“No, you did.” And then he heard how petulant that sounded. “We're devolving.”

“I didn’t seek you out.”

Exasperated, he glared at his phone. “I'm trying to be normal around you.”

“God, you are the most hardheaded person I've ever met.”

“Ditto,” he said, and then added, “brat.”

“Stick in the mud.” She went quiet on the other line, and then she said, “I know it's not just about my brother.”

His gut clenched at her words. This is why he didn't do nice with her. She was too smart and never left shit alone. Yeah, something he admired. He liked that about her... when it wasn't directed at him.

He asked, “What else could there be?”

“It could be me. I'm not exactly the settling down type.”

That thought had crossed his mind. If they were in a relationship, her past might even be a niggling worry. How long would she stay with him? Not for the first time, he wondered how much her father's actions had hurt her. Vic knew how it had changed Porter.

“Have you ever cheated on a boy toy?” he asked.

“You wouldn't be one, and no. I don't cheat. Doing something like that strips away pieces of a person.”

He believed her. She may have been wild and sometimes reckless, but he knew for her, infidelity was a line she wouldn’t cross. “Moot point, anyway.”

“You haven't been the same since you came back.” Her hesitation was subtle, but the waver in her voice came through clearly.

From
where
he’d come back from hadn’t needed to be stated. He closed down his laptop, not liking how close to the truth she was hitting. He’d come home with nightmares and scars. The physical ones were superficial and could be covered with ink, but the ones on his psyche were too deep.

Even if Grady had never hovered, she would have guessed. Six years of letters sent back and forth, he'd finally come home. She'd come by with Porter. Ash had hugged him and he'd felt something give inside him. He did what he always did when she got too close.

He swallowed. “Stop making me out to be this tortured hero you have to save.”

“You wouldn't want that,” she whispered. “Not from me.”

Not just that. He may have never looked at her as a sister, but he still wanted to protect her. That included from himself. When he was younger she would have been a conquest. When he’d come back from Iraq, no one was safe around him.

Now...Ash didn't need his shit. His world was too dark. He could pretend otherwise in public, but pretending didn't help late at night when sleep came for him. The sooner she understood and accepted he was dangerous, the better.

“This is what I can offer you, Ash. We can game together.”

She was quiet for a moment. “And not say so much as a 'hi' to me when we're face to face?”

Only she would try to negotiate his level of disgruntlement. “I can do 'hi' after a couple cups of coffee.”

“I just saw you less than an hour ago. Not a single hello, and I counted.”

He tilted his head back and smiled. She would have been pleased if she’d seen it. What did it mean he wanted to smile more for her? Again, too damn much.

“I saw Wade this morning. Blame him for not getting a ‘hi.’”

She laughed. “I love Wade. He's such an ass.”

Jealousy reared its head and Victor leaned closer to his phone to see if he could hear a hint of anything but platonic adoration in her tone. “He can be.” He said the words with care.

Oblivious to the green-eyed monster on the other end of the line, she said, “Anyway, I have to get back to work. If I'm in the mood to teach you how to really play, I'll poke you tomorrow.”

She ended the call without giving him time to agree or disagree. And that was Ash.

What the hell are you doing flirting and talking with her?

There weren't any excuses he could bring up. He'd liked being in her bed. Liked being with her when they weren't in it. He liked Ash, period.

In short, he didn't fucking know what he was doing, but standing in her office, taking in her scent again, he hadn’t wanted to be a dick to her. Damn sure couldn't ignore her. There had to be a middle ground.

He put his head in his hands. “This is going to be a shit show.”

~Gamer Truth: You're only as good as your joystick.~

At exactly five o'clock, Ash walked out of the office. Her steps slowed when she spotted the man leaning against her car. He was little more than a foot taller than her and about twice her size. A few more steps and she could see his kind brown eyes.

Porter wore a short-sleeved shirt that showed off the tattoos on
his forearms. A big, black man with tats, most people would have assumed he was a former football player, but the truth was he'd been a nerd all his life.

He'd excelled in science and math, even scoring a handful of scholarships for college. He'd bulked up in his teens to stay away from the “gangly geek” stereotype. By then, he was already building battle bots. Being a skinny nerd had just been too much. He hadn’t wanted to get his ass kicked every day, so something had to give.

He was an unapologetic geek, and a big overly protective brother. Maybe her actions didn't always show it, but Ash loved him.

“Porter!” She ran the rest of the way and leaped at him.

He caught her with ease before putting her into a semi-headlock and ruffling her hair. “You haven't called me since Friday.”

She easily broke the hold and then ran her fingers through her hair. “So you came up to my job? Really?”

“Haven't heard from Victor, either. Just checking on him.”

Which was interesting and kind of made her heart kick. “Why do you need to check on him?” she asked. “And how did you know he was here if you haven't talked to him?”

“Wade.” His gaze swept over her and then he glanced over to her right side. She sucked in a breath, scared—so scared that she was about to break her brother’s heart.

“What?” she asked, her voice shaky.

“I'm
not
going to ask you where you got those love bites. None of my business what you did with the asshole who stood you up.”

She released her breath in a whoosh. Porter’s friend and his sister had disappeared for a weekend, and the possibility of Vic putting the marks there apparently hadn’t crossed Porter's mind. Maybe it never would. Before Friday, neither she nor Vic had ever crossed that line in the sand.

Guilt dug its way deeper into her gut. No one deserved to be lied to, and she couldn't call her omission anything but a lie. She could and did believe it was none of her brother's business who she fucked. Didn't and wouldn't change the fact he'd be hurt.

Ash rolled her shoulders as though that could shift weight of her sins.
Don't think about them.

“You're right,” she said finally. “It's none of your business. And, honestly, what kind of woman do you think I am?” Letting irritation replace her guilt, she threw at him, “Or is that your way of saying I date shitty men?”

He put up his hands in surrender. “I'm back out of your business.”

Not willing to let it go, she pushed at a different button. “So Mom texted me last night.” Non-guilty Ash would talk like this, act like this.

“Yeah.” Her brother winced. “Me, too. The new boyfriend.”

“I think she's going to marry this one.”

“I hope not. He's a dick.”

“You think everyone’s a dick when it comes to Mom and me.” Even their father, but Ash agreed with him on that point.

After Raymond had slept with their mother's best friend, their father had taken their anger toward him and used that as an excuse to only contact them on holidays and birthdays. He paid his child support on time but never bothered to be a father.

A dick.

“And I doubt it,” she added. “Unlike you, I can see him for what he is—a boy toy for mom.” She laughed when Porter made a gagging noise. Now they were even. “You make teasing you so easy.”

He sobered, his handsome face serious. “Don't let Dad do this to you–make you think you have to settle.”

She blinked at that. “He didn't.”

Porter didn't look convinced. She sighed. They had an understanding about their dad. They rarely talked about him. Porter had walked away from the experience believing honesty was the only way to go, and that rules should be followed to the letter. She felt rules were made to be broken. Life sucked, anyway, so she figured she might as well have fun.

Surprise, surprise most of her actions drove him up the wall, but she couldn't live her life just to make him comfortable. Maybe that was selfish. She'd copped to that, but just like him, she'd protect him from the uglier truths if doing so meant his heart was never broken again.

She put her hands on his cheeks and lowered his head so they were eye-to-eye. “I didn't sleep with that guy. Take comfort in the fact you don't have to kill him.”

Again, her brother cringed.

She laughed. “Hey, you started this conversation, you control freak. You could have just left it alone, but noooo, not Porter.” She dropped her hands only to punch him in the shoulder. “Also, take heart. I had a good example of how a man should treat a woman. And that I can own my sexuality without shame.” She paused for effect. “Remind me to thank Grady the next time I see him.”

Porter gave her a blank stare. “Cute.”

She wanted to lay her head on his shoulder, but that was the guilt. “And don't think you're slick. You didn't answer my question. Why do you have to check on Vic?”

Her brother crossed his arms and leaned against her car. “Because I do.”

She crossed her arms, narrowing her gaze. “So you're not going to answer me?”

“Nope.”

Ash bit her lower lip, then harder when she thought of the perfect taunt. “I mean, no one is going to think less of you two if you just admit you
love
each other.”

Porter barked out a short laugh. “You make me want to push you into the middle of traffic.”

“Ditto.” Her sisterly duty of being a pain in his ass was complete. She pulled her keys from her laptop bag.

He straightened from the car, a smile still lingering. “I'm headed to Grady's after this. To show I'm not a control freak, you're welcome to come.”

If Porter was going, that meant Vic would likely head to Grady's too. Her joining them was a bad idea.

“For the record, giving me permission is...” She waved her hand to indicate he should finish the thought for himself.

He shrugged. “Are you coming or not?”

It was still a stupid idea. “I—”

“Hey,” came from behind her.

Her skin prickled from the deep timbre. Vic. Yeah. It was a very bad idea to be around him
with an audience
. She started to make tracks to her car door but Porter's brows furrowed and his easy-going demeanor disappeared. She frowned and glanced back at Vic. He wore his soldier expression like he was facing down enemy fire.

“You good?” her brother asked. The weight of the question settled on the air around them.

Vic cast a look in her direction and then his gaze focused on the pavement. “Didn't sleep well, but I'll be fine.”

“You sure?” Porter asked.

“Yeah. Grady's?”

Her brother didn't speak for what felt like the longest pause in history. What the hell did that mean? “Meet you there,” he finally said to Victor. “Ashley, you coming?”

Vic's head popped up, his expression still unreadable.

What would guilt-free Ash do?

Porter added, “I think Eva's going to be there.”

Shit.

Guilt-free Ash would go just to meet the woman who had Grady head over heels in love.

Dammit.

“I keep missing her,” Ash said. “She needs to know there's life outside the sausage fest that happens at Grady's house almost every day of the week.”

Porter snorted. “Yeah. I think you'd like her and vice versa.”

She said, “See you there, then.”

“Come on, Victor. We have to beat her there. Just because.”

“Sure thing.” Although he’d been speaking to Porter, Vic’s gaze was on her.

She couldn't tell if lust or murder glinted in his eyes. Knowing him, probably both. Because habits were hard to break, she grinned at him, and to her surprise, he just shook his head before chuckling.