Down to Ash (#Dirtysexygeeks Book 2) (7 page)

The barista chose that moment to bring him his plain coffee. “Thanks,” Victor said.

He took a long sip to give himself time to cool his temper and to answer Wade's probing question.

Apparently it was one second too long because Wade's gaze narrowed. “If it had nothing to do with Ash, you'd have said something by now.”

They all felt protective of her. She was two years younger than all of them combined. She grew up with them. No man was good enough. Victor would never be in the running. He'd killed men. He'd washed friends and colleagues from his bomb suits when shit went south. He still sometimes slept with a gun under his pillow. One of her favorite colors was pink, for God's sake. She didn't need a man like him to come home to.

Years and years had passed but sometimes he still couldn't shake that feeling of having a target on his back just for being an EOD tech. IEDs were still taking down soldiers even though the war had moved to another country.

Some days were harder than others. Some people he'd never feel safe to even sleep around. That was why he'd left Ash's place so early. She'd dozed, but he hadn’t trusted himself to do the same, and he couldn't have stayed without sleep digging at him.

Again, he'd been quiet for too long.

Victor said to break the thick silence, “She thinks I'm the same pimply-faced boy who came over to Porter's to play on his Sega.”

“And you're not?”

“You know I'm not.”

Wade cursed. “Yeah. I do.”

He didn't want to see that disappointed look pinned on him, so Victor walked out of the coffee shop. Too many people were crowding into the place anyway.

Wade followed close behind. “Victor...”

The short hold Victor had on his temper snapped. “God, Wade. You just don't let up, do you?”

His friend shrugged. “I prefer logic, and logic here states something happened with Ashley that put you on edge.”

“What logic told you that?”

“Since you came back, Ashley is the only thing that puts you on edge. And, friend, you're edging toward a cliff.”

Victor tilted his face to the sky. “You know what I wish for?” He didn't wait for a reply. “I wish a woman would come into your life and make you stupid. You're going to apply every mathematical theory you know to her, and she still won't make sense and you still won't walk away from her.”

Wade seemed to consider that. “I'll try not to blink and miss her.”

“Screw you, Wade, you arrogant bastard.”

His friend shook his head and started toward his car. “People say they want honesty, but when you give it to them, they get shitty about it.”

“Fuck. You. Wade.”

The other man laughed. “I won't tell Porter you're having wet dreams about his sister. He'll kill you. And he'd never let you take her home again if he knew.”

Victor's heart stopped. “Porter told you I drove her home?” His voice was low and tight.

“He did.”

Whatever had coiled inside Victor loosened. Wet dreams. Wade thought that was how far things had gone. He didn't know. Vic hated to lie, but Wade wasn't the only one who people-watched.

He took a sip of his coffee before saying, “And I won't tell Porter you have the same damn problem.”

A rush of color filled Wade's face. They got along because they were both darker than the rest of their friends.

And Ash was the light.

“Yeah,” Wade muttered. “You aren't the same man who left for war.”

“Six years in the service, what did you expect?”

Wade grinned, his gaze lit with amusement. “I miss the kid who pooped rainbows.”

Victor snorted at that bald-faced lie. “I was never that kid.”

But Victor, back before he’d done his training and his tours, would have been the kind of guy who would have detailed his every experience while in Iraq. He grew up in a middle class home, fourth generation American. His great-grandparents had wanted to assimilate. His parents hadn't known anything different.

Hell, from what they'd told him, they had clung tighter to the “just blend in” philosophy during the Korean War after seeing how America had treated anyone who looked remotely Asian amid World War II. They'd shucked anything about themselves that made them different to avoid discrimination.

Sure as shit didn't change the fact most people assumed Victor knew Mandarin, because he had to be Chinese and didn't Chinese people speak Mandarin? He was also, supposedly, a Kung Fu and Karate master. And more importantly, he must be related to Jackie Chan. Instant street cred.

Anything to make him stand out or that happened in his life that was extraordinary, he blabbed about it, but going to war was different. He’d entered basic training in Florida and had never spoken about any of it in great detail even to his friends.

He’d craved stories about home. All his friends had stayed in touch, but his anchors during his deployment had been Porter, Grady, and Ash. If not for them, he probably wouldn't have been able to piece himself back together when he got back home.

But he would never again be that pimply-faced boy who joined the military to fight for the country his great-grandparents had escaped to for a better life.

So he met his friend's gaze and asked, “Anything else you want to know?”

Wade tilted his head. “You make poking at you no fun.”

Victor shrugged, not feeling sorry about that at all. “Probably not. Still haven't answered why you came to Brew and Bagel.”

“Grady. He finally wanted to meet with some advisors so he can get started on his PhD. I called in some of our father's favors. It's too early in the morning. I needed sugar and coffee after kissing ass. Saw you and...” He shrugged.

They just stood there on the curb in a comfortable silence. Wade didn't push for anything more. He likely assumed the truth would come out eventually or that he knew it all. Knowing Wade, it was the latter.

Victor chugged down more coffee and felt a little more human. “So...”

Wade cut a glance at him. “No wonder I like you. You're a jackass.”

“Awww. Am I giving you warm and fuzzies?”

“Jerk.”

Victor’s mind went right to Ash and that she'd been watching
Supernatural
, so he took his insult inspiration from the show. “Bitch.”

Shit. His life was a fucking mess, again. He was a shit human being, again. At the first opportunity he had had, he'd pinned Porter's sister down and kissed her like her mouth was his very salvation. He'd fucked her and left her apartment like she could be forgettable. How could he confess that to any of his friends? Porter wouldn't be the only one to wring his neck.

He sighed and glanced at Wade. “Catch you later?”

“Probably at Grady's.” Wade's gaze went seeking again, likely reading the truth on Victor's face. “Or maybe not from the look of you.”

In the next hour or so, Victor would see Ash again. He knew how he should act. Knew what was right and wrong. He was avoiding Porter for a reason. Victor was convinced that Porter would take one look at his longtime friend and know.

“Later, then,” he said, moving toward his car.

He couldn't have Ash. He wasn't good enough. Not even close if he was willing to betray his friendship—hell, friendships. So, he'd pretend like nothing had happened between them. It was the only way, because he had a problem. The first step was admitting it.

*****

Ash's friend Iris breezed into the break room and said, “Either Friday night was really fantastic and, knowing you, filled with sex, or you're wishing the rapture would actually happen. What happened with the blind date?”

Offended, Ash glared at her friend. “I don't always sleep with men I date,” her tone turned sharp.

Iris winced. “You usually do when you disappear for a weekend.”

Well, that was correct, but still. “Sometimes I cuddle.”

“So you say.” Iris grinned and that softened the truth.

They both knew Ash might play it fast and loose, but a fair few of her relationships lasted long enough that the “L” word was dropped, and Ash always meant it. Didn't change the fact those relationships ended with a whimper. She'd never been the kind of woman to fall in love after a bout of great sex, and clearly she never would be. Might help ease her guilt if she were.

She sighed—back to frustration and physical longing then since she couldn't repeat her weekend with Vic.

“That whole wistful sigh—you really have to tell me about the date,” her friend pushed.

Ash held up one hand to forestall any more questions from the other woman and then dumped coffee grounds into the machine. “Wait until I take my first sip. I have muffins in the fridge if you're hungry.”

Iris took out two. After settling against the counter, Iris pushed up her glasses. The red rims complimented her dark brown eyes and skin. She looked sweet and approachable. Such a damn lie. Her friend was nosy, fun, and sometimes relentless.

And since Ash could also be all those things, depending on her mood, they got along well. Iris had been the one to hire her, and over time their work relationship turned into a friendship. Mostly due to Ash's shenanigans and Iris's nosy nature.

Ash prepped two cups and then gestured for her friend to follow her down to the office. Ash could practically feel Iris bristling with impatience. She smiled.

She took her time sitting behind her desk. Took an even longer moment to leisurely intake a mouthful of coffee.

And then finally, she said, “Richard stood me up.”

Iris hissed. “I thought he was a keeper.”

Ash shrugged at that since it was a moot detail. “When I pointed out to him in a text message how standing me up made him an inconsiderate dick, he called me a bitch. I was drunk at the time so I probably didn't say it that nicely, though.”

Iris frowned. “Why were you drunk?”

“I'm sitting in La Roue's—”

“Ah,” Iris said with a note of understanding. “No matter what time of day, the servers always stare at you if you're alone. You can feel the pity just washing over you.”

“Exactly.” Ash sipped. “From now on, I'm only going with friends.”

“Before I forget, Taylor contacted Victor Yang last night. Victor accepted the job. So, good rec. He should be here sometime today.”

Ash choked on her coffee, dribbling a little bit on the front of her shirt. “What? He actually took the job?”

Iris's brows furrowed. She worked in HR right under their boss. If there was a problem, she'd need to know. And there was a big, stinking problem.

“You didn't want us to hire him?” Iris asked.

Ash just stared at her friend for a moment, shock shutting down all internal thought. “No—that's—
shit
. I should have texted you Friday night.”

Vic hadn't talked to her since yesterday morning, not even to warn her he'd taken the job. Yeah, he'd told her he would if they called him, but the list of potentials had been long.

Her company was a temp agency for the technologically inclined. Her job was mostly admin. Every week, she filed the resumes of everyone who made it through their extensive vetting process, and even that list was a mile long. Out of all of the potentials, they’d chosen Vic, a man who’d never, not once, contracted for Temp To Tech.

“He's a veteran,” Iris said in her defense. “Of course he'd get to the top of the pile.”

“And that's what I told him. Shit.”

Ash set down her coffee so she wouldn't spill any more of it all over herself. She’d assumed she'd get a few days, maybe even weeks, to mentally sift through what had happened between them during the weekend. Apparently not.

Iris leaned forward as though she could sense that the real gossip session hadn't started yet. “What happened?”

Ash swallowed a laugh at that innocuous question. It might just have come out hysterical. Vic, at her job. Every day for the next month or two. How in the hell were they supposed to keep their hands to themselves? She believed him when he said he'd have to confess to her brother. He would do it, too, if they so much as breathed too hard on each other. That was fine with her if that's what he needed to do to sleep at night.

But Ash hadn't slept all that well. She’d been going over every moment they'd spent together—glutting on the memories, yearning for more. The only thing that had been clear was that she wanted to have her cake and eat it, too.

“Ash?”

She glanced up. Her friend's brows were up high.

Iris asked, “What the hell happened?”

I realized I'm a horrible person. Sex with my brother's best friend was the best sex of my life. I'm a horrible, terrible person, because I want to keep having sex with my brother's best friend even though I know it's going to break my brother's damn heart.

But to get to that, Ash had to spill the full story.

“So Richard stood me up. I got drunk and then I called my brother for a ride, because I'm cheap and didn't want to pay for a cab.”

“Okay,” her friend said slowly.

“Porter was at work. Victor came to the rescue.”

“Yeah. He's a longtime family friend, right? That's why you rec'd him.”

“One of my brother's best friends. Probably his closest friend.” The guilt kept digging in. Again and again. She shifted at the uncomfortable sensation it left behind. “He's great with computers.”

“Oh, right.” Iris's expression blanked. “Vic. The one you say makes you drool every now and again?”

This time, Ash couldn't fight her laugh, and it did sound just a smidgen hysterical. Iris had made the understatement of the century.

“Victor and Porter have been friends since the third grade. By the fifth, they added three more members to their clique.”

“So you practically grew up with five brothers.”

“Yeah.” Technically four, because she never considered Vic a brother. Ever. “It was both great and hellish. More so when I hit my teens and became acutely aware of boys.”

“Brothers—the ultimate cockblockers.”

Ash snorted, then laughed at the fact that she’d snorted. “You so get the struggle.”

But that wasn't the whole of it. She'd gone through crushes on Grady, who was solid, and the glue of the group. Wade, who was literally a genius. Then sweet Oliver, who would draw her comics when she bugged him.