Dragon Apocalypse (The Berserker and the Pedant Book 2) (22 page)

“You’ve heard the story of Goldilocks and the three bears, haven’t you?” Pellonia asked.

“I generally know what you’re thinking,” said the Pellonia with the axe.

“But we’ve no idea where you’re going with this,” said the Pellonia with the bracelet.

“A little girl came upon a house in the forest,” Pellonia said.
 
“Inside were three beds.
 
She lay down in the first bed…”

The Pellonia with the hammer charged.
 
Pellonia waited for the last possible moment, then stepped toward her.
 
The hammer missed, but Pellonia took an elbow to the face and the two tumbled to the ground.

The two Pellonias grappled over the hammer.
 
Neither struck the other, presumably because the hammer was enchanted to cause anyone striking the bearer of the hammer to freeze.
 
Instead, they stood there tugging back and forth, trying to wrench the hammer out of the other’s hand.

“It’s no good, Pellonia,” said Pellonia. “We have a telepathic connection.
 
You won’t trick them into thinking you’re me.”

“We’re not even dressed alike! They hardly need telepathy to figure it out,” said Pellonia.
 
Pellonia gave a hard tug on the shaft of the hammer, then she let go, sending Pellonia sprawling.
 
The Pellonia still standing wiped blood from her eyes from the earlier elbow strike.

“The first bed was too hard,” she said, grinning.

Maximina ducked the oncoming Phage and rummaged around in the magic sack some more.
 
“There’s got to be something useful in here somewhere…”
 

A Phage latched onto the head of Apocalypse.
 
Apocalypse cried out, jerking his head from side to side, a pillar of flame shooting from his mouth toward the ceiling.
 
A tentacle was crammed down his gullet, flames sputtering out the sides.

“Aha!”
 
Maximina yanked a chain out of the magic sack.
 
“Catena fulgur!”
 
The chain became a bolt of lightning and blasted out of her hands at the Phage.
 
It struck one, incinerating it, and leapt on to another, and another, and another.
 
Another fell over dead, a sizzling pile of flesh, then another and another; the next was a blackened and scorched corpse.
 
Then another, and on and on.
 
The smell of fried calamari filled the room.

Then the bolt struck the wall of tentacles.
 
The tentacles froze in place, erect, as their muscles pulled taut. Then they all sagged, falling limp.
 
The bolt shot out one last time, streaking across the air and striking Apocalypse.
 
Apocalypse jerked, falling to the ground and spasming as the lightning coursed through him.
 
He fell.
 
Silent.
 
Unmoving.

The Pellonia with the axe growled. “You won’t trick me the same way,” she said.
 
She walked towards Pellonia, slowly, so as not to trip or become entangled.

Pellonia glanced behind her at the Pellonia with the bracelet, then looked back toward the one with the axe.
 
The Pellonia with the hammer stood up as the one with the axe passed her by, and advanced slowly along with her.

“The second bed was too lumpy,” Pellonia said, backing up.

Maximina ran over to Apocalypse.
 
He wasn’t moving.

“What have I done?” she asked.
 
She lifted his head and jostled it.
 
Nothing.
 
She bent over and listened for a heartbeat.
 
Still, nothing.

“Come on, little guy, wake up!”
 
She pounded on his chest with a fist.
 
Thump, thump, thump.

An elven steel-colored scale fell to the ground.
 
Maximina watched it fall; time seemed to slow as the scale twirled to the ground.
 
It struck with a metallic clang and bounced a few times before coming to a rest.
 
All of the scales fell off Apocalypse, rolling to the ground in a heap.

Underneath was a small winged lizard.
 
Dead.

“Yeah, yeah,” said the Pellonia with the bracelet.
 
“The third bed was…”

“Just right!” Pellonia exclaimed, turning and running toward her and away from the other two Pellonias.
 
The Pellonia with the bracelet was surprised — some would even say stunned — seeing as she didn’t move as Pellonia sped towards her. Pellonia grabbed her by the hair, yanked her head down, and brought up a knee into her face.
 
Blood spurted down Pellonia’s leg as her nose broke from the impact.

“Owwww,” yelped the Pellonia with the bracelet, covering her broken nose with her hands.
 
Pellonia caught the arm with the bracelet and twirled her around, twisting the arm behind her back.
 
Realizing what was about to happen, the other Pellonias broke into a sprint.

Pellonia ripped off the bracelet and kicked Pellonia into the oncoming Pellonias. They stumbled, falling into a small pile of Pellonias.
 
The Pellonia formerly wearing the bracelet collided with the Pellonia with the hammer, freezing into a solid chunk of ice when she struck, her momentum carrying her to the side, sliding her out of the way.

Pellonia set the bracelet over her wrist, looked at the two Pellonias and said, “I know why you’re confused. I’m a Pellonia, I’d be confused too.
 
Allow me to explain.
 
It’s confusing because there are three of you and only one of me, but in this metaphor you three are Goldilocks and I’m the bears.”
 
Snap.
 
The bracelet latched onto her wrist and Pellonia no longer felt the chill in the air.
 

“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed.
 
I’m going to eat them all up.”

Maximina was quite the sight.
 
She sat on the ground, cradling the tiny Apocalypse in her arms, surrounded by elven steel scales, which were in turn surrounded by dismembered tentacles, legs of ants, scorch marks, brains of the fallen Phage, zombified ant corpses gnashing at the air, and finally, a wall of limp, slightly crispy tentacles.

She looked up in time to watch as Pellonia closed on the other Pellonias.
 
The Pellonias seemed to agree with that plan, as they ran towards her as well, weapons at the ready.
 
Pellonia squeezed between them, and with the nimbleness renowned of the elves, slipped under a swing of the hammer, pivoted, and as the axe flew by her, grabbed the handle and redirected it towards the Pellonia with the hammer.

As the axe struck the Pellonia with the hammer in the arm, all three gifts of the frost giants flashed a brilliant ultramarine.
 

The axe, Sjekira, imbued with the power to freeze whoever it struck in combat, froze the Pellonia with the hammer as the redirected blow landed.
 

The hammer, Cekic, enchanted to freeze whoever struck its wielder, acted to encase in ice both the Pellonia currently wearing the bracelet and the Pellonia with the axe.

The bracelet, Narukvica, which conferred an immunity to cold, prevented Pellonia from freezing.

Pellonia admired the three solid clumps of ice.
 
She gave one a shove and it slid across the floor toward Maximina.
 
The hammer and the axe were encased in the blocks of ice along with the Pellonias.
 
She pushed the other Pellonia ice blocks over as well.

The beholder loomed over Pellonia from behind and an arctic blast launched from its eye orb.
 
Pellonia smiled and turned toward the beast.
 
It looked confused as she calmly walked over to it, stared into its eye from inches away, and slapped its cheek.

Its pupil enlarged and the creature roared, blasting her with cold once more.
 
Her hair fluttered in the freezing gale, but Narukvica protected her from the cold.
 
She slapped the beholder’s other cheek and waggled a finger at it.
 
It made a confused growling sound.
 
Pellonia took a bit of salted cod from her pouch and tossed it in the beholder’s mouth.