Dragon Apocalypse (The Berserker and the Pedant Book 2) (17 page)

“Yes, I’ve seen the axe.
 
As impressive as it is, I’m afraid it’s not a pass.
 
No pass, no entry.
 
Good day.” The wooden panel slid back over the barred window.
 
Gurken walked back over to the group.

“Maybe I should talk with him,” Pellonia said.

“Won’t do any good, unless… do you have a pass?” Gurken replied.
 
Clem lumbered over to the door.

“I’m afraid not, but perhaps I can reason with him,” Pellonia suggested. Clem looked at the door and took hold of the bars in the window, one in each hand.

“He doesn’t seem like the sort of fellow one can reason with,” Gurken said.
 
Clem pulled and strained at the door.

“Bribe?”

Clem jerked on the door.

Gurken shrugged.
 
“We can give it a try.”
 
He turned back to the door just in time to see Clem rip it off its enormous iron hinges.
 
Wood splintered and iron groaned as he tore the door off and threw it aside.

“Clem no need pass, tiny dwarf!” Clem shouted.
 
Then, in a more polite voice said, “I do not need a pass. Please stand aside.”

The dwarf hissed at Clem, a tentacle sticking out of his mouth.
 
“Get away, foul beast, you do not belong here.”
 
The dwarf stabbed a spear deep into Clem’s chest.
 
Clem swung a meaty fist down on the dwarf’s head. There was a sickening crunch as the dwarf’s helmet crushed into his skull.
 
The dwarf fell over, dead.
 
Clem broke off the spear, tip still in his chest, and threw it aside.
 
He wandered back over to the group.

“Clem open door,” Clem said.
 
“Door open.
 
I have opened the door for us.
 
The way is clear.”

“Is this really the best strategy?” Gurken asked.

“Absolutely,” Maximina said.
 
“Pellonia is our rogue, so she walks ten feet ahead of us checking for traps; that way we don’t wander into them.
 
If she’s beset upon by any monster, we are close enough to help out.
 
The only way it could get any better is if she was better at hiding.”

Pellonia walked silently along the wall, ten feet in front of them.
 
They weren’t using any torches, since they could all see well enough in the dim glow emanating from Maximina’s green eyes.
 
Pellonia made exaggerated movements, trying to hide in the shadows of the wall, but failed miserably.
 
Everyone could see her.
 
She had, however, been successful so far, in that the party had not yet fallen prey to any traps.
 
She had not yet discovered any traps either.

Pellonia raised one hand and everyone stopped.
 
She motioned for Maximina to approach.

“Look at this,” Pellonia said.
 
“A bunch of holes in the wall here, about an inch across.
 
I don’t see any trip wires, but there could be a pressure plate in the floor.
 
I think poisoned darts will shoot out of these holes when they’re triggered.”

Pellonia picked up some rocks and lodged them in the holes.
 
“There!
 
Trap disabled.”
 
She took a step forward, slowed, and began to float.
 
She waved her arms about frantically, looking as if she was trying to swim.
 
Maximina reached out and her arm plunged into a cold, moist substance.
 
It latched onto her arm and started to suck her in.

“Help!”
 
Maximina shouted.

Gurken ran over and tugged on her arm, but Maximina didn’t budge.
 
She stuck a foot against the substance, trying to leverage her way out, but the substance latched onto her foot.
 
Maximina slid into the stuff.
 
Pellonia stopped moving forward after about five feet, but she kept waving around, trying to grab something.

Clem trudged over and yanked Maximina.
 
She pulled out with a sucking pop sound.
 
Sssslll-pop!
 
Pellonia frantically continued to swim.
 

Maximina rummaged through her magic sack and pulled out the mystic rope.
 
She handed one end to Clem and threw the other towards Pellonia and shouted “Liga Illam!”
 
The rope plunged into the substance and wrapped around Pellonia.

“Pull, Clem!” Maximina shouted.

Clem pulled.
 
The rope pulled taut.
 
He strained and Pellonia seemed to inch toward them.
 
Finally, as if the substance grew tired, she spurted the rest of the way out.
 
She gasped for breath.

“Thank… you… that… was close,” she said.

Maximina lit a torch, and the orange light reflected off a solid wall of transparent goop.
 
It didn’t ooze along the ground; it blocked the entire passage.
 
Maximina poked it with a finger. It adhered and tugged at it, sucking at her finger like an infant on a teat.
 
She pulled her finger away with a small pop.
 
The wall moved slowly towards them.

“I wonder what it could be?” Maximina asked, taking a step back.

“I’ve never heard of such a thing,” Gurken proclaimed.

“Me neither,” said Pellonia.
 
“But we’ll have to get by here somehow.”

“It’s too bad Ohm’s not here,” Maximina said.
 
“Bards know all sorts of useless things.
 
Lore they’ve collected along the way.”

“He hasn’t been a bard long,” Pellonia said.

“True, but he makes up for it by being a dragon.
 
Dragons know quite a lot too.”

Pellonia said, “I have an idea.”
 
She took the torch from Maximina and held it next to the cube.
 
The cube stopped advancing and bent inwards, away from the flame.
 
Pellonia smiled and said, “Kitty, torch it!”

Apocalypse sucked in an enormous breath and let out a jet of flame, engulfing the gelatinous thing.
 
It sizzled and steamed, quivering as the fire took hold.
 
It retreated, but soon the flames were everywhere and it shook and began to melt.
 
Everyone backed away from the flames, waiting for them to subside.
 
When it had, they noticed from the wet marks along the walls that the creature had been exactly as deep as it had been tall and wide.

“It’s a Gelatinous Cube!” Gurken said.

Pellonia shook her head.
 
“That’s a terrible name.
 
We should name monsters based on their weakness instead of how they look, that way anyone that finds one will know how to defeat it.
 
How about… Flammable Jelly Monster?”

Maximina shrugged.
 
“Works for me.”

Gurken thought about it for a moment, then said, “By that logic, wouldn’t
 
goblins be called Everything Goblins?”

Maximina and Pellonia stared at Gurken.
 
Gurken said, “You know, because everything kills them?”

They continued down the hall for some time, Pellonia ranging ahead and, at Maximina’s suggestion, holding a ten-foot pole out in front of her, dragging the tip along the ground.
 
They did not find any more Flammable Jelly Monsters, but they did discover a hidden pit with some sort of greenish slime covering the bottom of it and set off a tripwire that caused a boulder to drop from the ceiling, splintering the end of the pole.

The loud snap of the pole breaking and the sound of falling rocks echoed through the tunnels.
 
They held their breath and listened.
 
They could hear the sound, slowly, faintly at first, then with increasing speed, frequency, and volume.
 
Slurp…pop.
 
Slurp… pop. Slurp. Pop. Slurp pop. Slurpop. Slurpopop. Several brains with tentacles growing out of them strode into view.
 
Phage. The Phage stopped, as if to take their measure, then lunged at Gurken, Pellonia, Maximina, and Clem, coming two and three at a time.

Gurken raised his axe.
 
Pellonia took a step back, drawing her knives.
 
Maximina pulled a cap out of her magic bag.
 
Clem stood there.
 
Apocalypse took to the air.

They were no match. Gurken was taken first.
 
He sliced a Phage in twain with his axe, the next creature found its mark and stuck to his head, tentacles sucking at his cheeks and nose.
 
Pellonia fell next, deftly tumbling and avoiding the Phage before one took her from behind.
 
Maximina held the cap tightly onto her head, but once several of the Phage were upon her, they overpowered her, ripping off the cap and latching onto her.
 

Apocalypse scorched a score of Phage with his fiery breath.
 
As he burned his way through them, it took longer and longer for one to succumb to the flames until they ignored the flames entirely.
 
Phage climbed on each other, building a pyramid until one was able to leap and latch onto his legs, pull itself up and latch onto his head.

Their tongues swelled and blistered.
 
The blisters popped, a warm fluid seeping into their mouths.
 
In place of the blisters, suckers covered their tongues.
 
Something writhed and flopped around in their mouths, squirming tentacles where once there were tongues.
 
“Kill them.”
 
They heard a deep raspy voice speaking, all anger and rage and dripping with hatred.
 
“Kill ‘em all.”
 
They looked around for the voice, then realized it was their own.

C
HAPTER
S
IXTEEN

The Berserker and the Ant

MAXIMINA WOKE UP as if from a deep slumber, a time of nightmares, memories seeping away like sand through a screen.
 
Her tongue stretched and her sense of self slammed into her as her tongue stretched to the breaking point and snapped.
 
Blood pooled into her mouth and she spat it out as she opened her eyes.
 
Two huge black orbs stared at her, inches from her face.
 
In front of the orbs, chitinous pincers twitched. A flopping tentacle, suckers wet with her blood, fell to the ground, flipping about in place, unable to move any appreciable distance.
 
Air blew into her nose as the creature sniffed at her.

She screamed and jumped into the air.
 
The ant went flying, landing and rolling several feet away.
 
There were several dozen ant corpses arrayed around her on the ground.
 
She held a crude club in her hand, red and black ichor coating the end from where she had smashed the ants.
 
She looked around wildly.
 
The ant got back to its feet and its antennae shook.
 
It stood, watching her.
 
Several other ants crawled over to it.