Dragonfly (20 page)

“It’s delicious. I’m just tired all of a sudden. Long day, I guess.”

He smiled. “We can take off.”

I waited while he settled the bill, and soon we were back in the Jeep headed southeast toward home. The top was off, but the crisp fall air didn’t wreak as much havoc with my curls as in the summertime. I was starting to relax until we turned toward the beach road instead of town. I looked over at him.

His eyes were on the road. “Want to look at the water?”

“Sure,” I said, studying his profile, the wind pushing his hair around his face.

He parked in the same lot as the first time we came here after that first dance. With the engine off, the sound of the breakers crashing and the hiss of the surf were loud and close. The salty ocean-smell was strong.

“I’m going to miss this,” he said under his breath, sliding his hands from the wheel to his lap. “Sometimes at night, I leave all the windows open so I can hear it.”

I nodded. “It always helps me relax.”

His eyes moved to me, and he held out his hand. I put mine in it, and he pulled gently. For a half-second, I hesitated. Then I crossed the space between us, letting him pull me onto his lap facing him in a straddle. His warm hands found the skin under my sweater and his mouth was on my neck just as fast. My whole body was instantly burning, and I tried to calm my flying heart. But it was pointless. I was gone.

“Do friends make out?” I managed to say, eyes closed.

“Good friends,” he said against my skin before slipping a hand behind my neck and pulling my mouth to his.

The hand on my back traveled higher, loosening my bra, and I slid my fingers into his hair as he caressed me. I was moving, kissing him deeply, my heart pounding as the pressure built low in my stomach. The feelings were so intense, so good, I didn’t care what was coming. I didn’t care if I cried tomorrow or all week. I broke away to gasp for air, and his hands moved to my hair, pulling my ear to his mouth.

“Let me in,” he whispered, then kissed me. I frowned, not sure I understood. My confusion disappeared when his hands went under my skirt, adjusting my position as he found the line of my panties.

My stomach clenched as I placed my hands on his shoulders. “Here?” I whispered, my forehead against his. I kissed the tip of his nose. “Can’t we go somewhere else?”

He kissed my jaw, burning a trail to my cheek and covering my mouth again. He slid me forward against him, teasing me, before he pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. “I just… I kind of wanted my first time to be a little more… special.”

Everything stopped.

Jack leaned his head back against the head rest and closed his eyes. I watched his lips form a straight line as he moved his hands to my waist on top of my sweater, exhaling slowly.

“What?” My voice sounded small to me.

His eyes opened, blue crashing into hazel. “I’m sorry. I forget how young you are,” he said. “I’ll take you home.”

“Home?” I repeated, confused. “That’s it?”

He didn’t answer, and I climbed off his lap and moved across the Jeep, back to my side. My heart thudded as shame filled my chest. Anger followed close behind. I shouldn’t be ashamed, and I wasn’t that young. Pulling my knees up, I looked out the window as he turned the key. I didn’t speak as he drove us the short distance to my house.

The moment the vehicle stopped moving, I jumped out and ran to my door. I quickly went inside and slammed it, turning the lock. All those good ideas, those goals I’d spent so much time working on were so quickly forgotten. I ran up the stairs to my bathroom and turned the water on full-blast before sliding to the floor. With my back against the cabinet, I kicked my leg out in front of me. I pounded my fists against the rug as the angry tears fell.

He couldn’t make me feel this way if I didn’t let him. That’s what they always said, right? Pain twisted in my chest, and I cried harder, hugging my knees to my stomach.

Why couldn’t I believe it? Why did I go running every time he crooked his finger my way only to be tossed aside again because I was too young or required too much effort or he didn’t have time. Was that me? Was I that weak?

Oh, god. Tears drenched my cheeks, and I didn’t even try to stop them. But after a few moments, I helped myself up, avoiding my reflection in the mirror. I bent over and splashed cool water on my face, taking a rag and soaking it. Then I crossed the hall and crawled into bed.

Chapter 19

The strange thing about fall along the Gulf Coast was the flowers. Everywhere you looked impatiens and begonias were sporting happy blossoms. It was like spring all over again. Crepe myrtle trees were bursting with lavender, white, and all shades of pink. Encore azaleas were ablaze with color, and even the ubiquitous palms were showing the white blossoms at their hearts. And it was all shoved right up next to red, orange, and yellow nylon-leaf garlands and plastic jack-o-lanterns—things not found naturally in this area.

After three years here, I still missed fall in the Midwest. I missed it being frosty every morning by now and the cool sweater weather that made scary movies so much more fun to watch. I missed hot cider at apple orchards and low humidity. The only problem was that back home sweater weather soon turned into heavy coat weather, and it lasted months longer than everyone wished it would. And we never had blazing azaleas in the Midwest or miles of turquoise waters crashing on sugar-white sands.

The last two days had felt like two years with me trying not to think about Jack, trying to suppress my blazing cheeks the few times I did. He sent a few texts that remained unread, and his one call was sent to voicemail. I didn’t want to read an apology if that was what he was offering, and I couldn’t hear his voice. If he was saying anything else, it would only make it worse.

My thoughts were miles away when I heard the friendly voice calling my name. Only one voice was able to cut through it all. One person could make me forget that pain like a warm massage to the heart. I looked up and Julian was crossing the parking lot in the direction of my car. Black trousers, white oxford, shaggy dark head, as usual. Only today his left sleeve was rolled to the elbow above his cast.

“Wait up—I have something to show you,” he called.

He appeared very much back to normal, cute as ever, and pulling a white bundle from his back pocket.

“Hey,” I said as he got closer. “You’re looking much better.”

“Ribs have eased up a lot,” he smiled and my shoulders relaxed. I leaned against the car, and he stood in front of me unrolling the paper.

I watched his progress curiously. “What is it?”

“This.” He held it open, and I almost squealed. It was my ring! I forgot everything as my book bag slid to the ground

“Oh, look at it!” I cried softly. “It’s so beautiful!”

It was shining silver with a tiny, rainbow-sparkling dragonfly across the center. I reached forward to touch it carefully.

“I wanted it to fit you,” he watched my face as I studied it.

I lifted the delicate piece. “How did you make it sparkle?”

“Mom gave me a few crystal beads, and I ground them down and mixed them with the silver. I was just experimenting, but it paid off, I think.”

My eyes went to his. “I love it.”

He took my hand and slipped his unique creation on my right middle finger, seeming very pleased. A lump was in my throat.

“There you go,” he said, still holding my hand.

“But don’t you need it to show? Maybe you could just dedicate it to me like a book or something.”

“I told you, I’ll borrow it when I go for my interview,” he said. “But it’s yours. I want you to keep it.”

I couldn’t stop looking at my hand, tilting it in the light and watching the sparkles. Julian grinned watching me.

“I’m supposed to be at the paper office. Otherwise,” I hesitated. “I don’t know.”

“Are you coming to the hay maze with everybody tomorrow?”

“Yeah!” I looked up at his face. His eyes flickered to my mouth and then up again.

“Go with me?”

Just then I remembered—and I knew why Jack had probably called me. I looked down, that weight back in my stomach. “I invited Jack to come along. I think he’s picking me up.”

Julian poked his lips out and nodded. “I get it.”

“It’s not like—”

“No worries. I’ll see you there.” He touched my chin with his finger. “Later. Oh, and have fun at the paper, cubby.”

“Thanks, Julian.” I watched him go, releasing the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. This tension was killing me. I needed to check my phone.

* * *

When I got home that night, Mom was in the kitchen stirring a pot of what looked like yellow soup. An oval baking dish sat on the counter, and inside were layers of vanilla wafers and bananas.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m trying to make a banana pudding,” she frowned. “Nana sent me the recipe.”

“Banana pudding? That’s new. What’s it for?”

“We’re helping with the hay maze fundraiser, and they want to do a dessert auction. You get the release I sent over?”

“You sent that? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to bias your cute little newsy nose,” Mom grinned. “Did you send it on?”

“I sure did. And I’ve got a group of friends going tomorrow for the thriller maze.”

“It’s going to be a hoot,” she chuckled. “Rain Hawkins is getting a bunch of the coaches together. They’ve got a chainless chainsaw, fake blood. I think the Catman is supposed to make an appearance.”

“Catman?” I frowned.

“Half-man, half-wildcat. Local legend.”

“Hey, speaking of that, how old were you when Nana and Pop-pop moved to Indiana?”

“Huh? Oh, I was just finishing elementary school, I guess. Why?”

“We were digging through the archives at work. Nancy’s working on the bicentennial insert, and she found some old pictures of Ms. LaSalle when she was a senior in high school.”

“No kidding,” Mom said, thinking. “We’ve got some of her old paintings in the hotel, you know. She should send a photographer over.”

“Funny you said that. That’s exactly what she wants to do. I’m supposed to find out when would be a good time.”

“Any time. Tell her to call me, and we’ll set something up.”

“Did you know any of those guys before you left?”

“Alex LaSalle? I knew
of
her. There never have been that many full-time residents here. But we were all kids when I left.”

“Did you know Jack’s dad?”

“I doubt it,” she said. “What’s the sudden interest?”

“Nothing. I was just wondering.” I poked her in the side. “Remember to answer the phone.”

I thought about Mr. Kyser and Ms. LaSalle at the hospital. I wished I could remember what all they’d said to each other. They’d said they were just old friends, but it was obvious they had more of a connection. What did it mean? I was dying of curiosity, and it seemed like a harmless way to get my mind off boy troubles. Of course, I had no intention of ever doing anything with the information or telling anyone. I was simply following Gabi’s advice and focusing on work. Doing a little off the record snooping—just for me.

Chapter 20

The thriller hay maze was even bigger than the advertisement had made it sound. Giant speakers blasted spooky noises and eerie music across the grounds, and the place was jammed with groups of teenagers and families with younger kids. Twilight, the crisp air, and screams erupting every few moments from inside the maze created the perfect late-fall adrenaline rush.

Jack didn’t say a word about our previous date night or how it had ended when he picked me up, and I wasn’t going there. Every time I thought of his expression, how he’d shut down and shut me out, my stomach twisted with shame, which I also knew was stupid.

The upside was these feelings drowned out my frustrating desire for him. I’d returned his text simply verifying what time he could pick me up, and the radio precluded any conversation on the short drive to the pasture off the old county road. I was back to our previous agreement. We were only friends. Nothing more.

We arrived just in time to see Rachel and Brad, wearing orange and black fleece jackets and scarves. They walked over to meet us, and further in I saw Julian looking over the silent auction table. He was dressed in jeans and a dark blue shirt under a brown tweed blazer. His dark hair was tossed to the side, and a small smile touched my lips until I saw he was holding hands with Renee. Then I frowned. I hadn’t realized he’d go back to her after we’d talked. Not that I had any right to be mad.

She was dressed in a tight sweater and jeans, and she whispered something in his ear. He smiled and walked away. Then she waved to Rachel, who grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the silent auction area. Each item had a little card beside it to hold the handwritten bids, and I saw a small metal figure that looked like a miniature version of Julian’s runner. My finger lightly touched the band of the dragonfly ring hidden under my glove. So far I hadn’t taken it off except to bathe and wash my face.