Draw Me Close (20 page)

“Screw you, man.” Derek shook his head, his big hand still resting on Lindsey's leg, his fingers grazing her inner thigh. He glanced over at Anne, whose eyes had gone wide once again. “Anne, he's kidding. I never had that idea.”

“He's right, perfect. I was teasing you.” Mike leaned to the side and kissed Anne's cheek. Her happy smile as she bunched her shoulders and tried to pull away made Lindsey a little jealous.

She allowed Derek to rest his hand on her thigh. Was tempted to reach below the table and touch him back, but she didn't. She wanted things to be easy. Couples like Anne and Mike had no baggage to overcome. No resentment. Was it possible that this could just be fun? She had a sinking feeling that she was getting in too deep.

“Come outside with me,” a low voice said close to Lindsey's ear. She looked over to find Derek leaning in close to her. Lindsey glanced over at Callie, who gave her a raised eyebrow and then a quick nod.

“Okay.” Lindsey stood, effectively knocking his hand away. She grabbed her cardigan and followed him through the dining area.

It was now March and as they stepped out the front door they were greeted by a row of vintage-looking street lamps, wooden bench seats, and hanging baskets waiting to be filled with spring blooms.

Pie Mia's was one of the newer tenants in the buildings that lined the adorable Main Street that ran through the center of Preston. It was a fun little boutique town that served as a weekend getaway for people from Kansas City and other local towns. It was home to independently owned restaurants, antiques stores, an old barber shop, a beauty salon, Callie's Confections, and several little one-of-a-kind shops. One of Lindsey's favorites was Sweet Opal, owned by their friend Brooke, who graciously took many of Lindsey's creations in for consignment sale.

It was a lovely town, the kind that made you want to settle down, have a family. Have picnics on the weekend, pick up coffee before work, and go to football games in the fall to cheer on the local team. It elicited feelings of happiness and contentment. Something Lindsey so desperately wanted but wondered if she'd ever have. Not that she was unhappy, but didn't most people dream of having a happily ever after with someone by their side?

“Let's sit,” Derek said, motioning to a nearby bench.

She followed him without a word and sat, leaving a few feet between them. She heard Derek's annoyed sigh and then he was scooting closer to her. Before she knew it he was throwing an arm over the back of the bench and staring down at her.

“What are you doing?” she asked quietly.

“I'm getting close to you. What's it look like?”

She looked up at him. His pupils were large and his eyes focused on her. The days were slowly getting a little longer so the streetlights hadn't yet kicked on, the sun hanging low, just out of sight behind the row of old buildings.

It was really ridiculous how handsome he looked all the time. How was a girl supposed to do the right thing? Today he wore dark blue jeans and an ivory sweater, the color perfect against his lightly tanned skin and five o'clock shadow.

“I think we need to discuss something,” he said.

“Oh?” She was playing coy but they both knew better.

“Was it really so bad kissing me?” he asked quietly, his voice low and husky.

Lindsey's eyes flew up to his. She hadn't expected him to be so blunt about it. She found him trying to hold back a smile.

“Of course not.”

“Okay, then why have I not heard from you?”

“Well, we weren't really in the habit of chatting on the phone.”

“No, we weren't. But I know you've been avoiding me.”

She shrugged. “I just needed to think.”

“Fair enough. But I want you to know that no matter what, you don't have to pull away from me.”

“Of course I don't have to, but I needed to.”

“So while you were thinking … did you come to any grand conclusions?”

She nodded. “A few.”

He looked surprised. “Interested in sharing?”

“I think it was probably not a good idea. Something we shouldn't repeat.” That wasn't all she'd thought but it felt like the wisest response.

“Eh, I'm not so sure about that. Want to know my theory?” He reached out to touch a lock of hair that rested on her shoulder.

“I guess,” she said. The movement of her hair sent tingles through her scalp all the way down to her toes.

“I think that kiss scared you. It was amazing and now you want more. And you hate wanting me as bad as you do.”

Lindsey swallowed. His left hand slowly slid into her hair, his fingers caressing the back of her neck. She knew at any moment he was going to pull her toward him. She should stop him. In just a minute.

“And just so we're clear, it scared me too, but for another reason.” His eyes went molten with each of his words. “I enjoy wanting you this bad. But I worry that I may never have you again.”

She had no words. Would he ever have her again? The right answer was no, no, no. She couldn't handle the pain of losing him all over again, and he said nothing of loving her or wanting something more. A casual fling with Derek would just never work.

“What can I do to make it better?” he asked. His body angled closer to hers, their faces only inches apart.

Lindsey's heart began to hammer in her chest. This was his power, this persistent seduction of her mind and body. She had to be stronger.

A car full of teenagers drove down Main, voices whistling out of the windows as they passed by. “Get a room,” one called.

Like a splash of cold water, those words reminded her that they were quickly entering dangerous territory.

“You could give me some space,” she said.

He hesitated a moment and then pulled back. His hand dropped from her lap but he continued to stroke the back of her neck. “If that's what you need.”

“It is.”

He nodded, looking down at the ground. Finally he turned back to her with a sly grin. “I think I liked that punk's idea a little better.”

Lindsey groaned in mock annoyance and then they both laughed quietly.

“Things are just—”

“Moving too fast,” he finished for her. “I understand.” She was grateful that there was no annoyance in his tone. “I want to give you exactly what you need, Linds. What you deserve. What you want. I wish that was me, but if it's not, I'll accept that. Either way I want us to be friends.”

Her insides quivered at his statement. The serious look in his eyes. Finally she nodded her head. “Okay.”

Behind them the front door of Pie Mia opened, the warm glow from the restaurant casting light onto Derek's face. He was still staring at her but he pulled back.

“Oh boy, what a lovely evening,” Callie said, a little too loudly. Lindsey knew she was sending her a warning.

Lindsey stood and faced the building.

“How about we get back to work tomorrow?” Derek asked behind her. “No sense in not finishing what we started.”

Lindsey nodded and glanced up at him. “What we started with the island,” she clarified.

Derek winked. “Of course.”

She gave another nod. “Okay. I guess I'll see you in the morning.”

“In the morning, then.” Derek pulled his keys out of his pocket. “Good night, Lindsey.”

“Good night, Derek.”

He walked away toward his Mercedes. She wasn't sure which she liked better, that car or his truck.

“Everything okay?” Callie squeezed Lindsey's hand.

Lindsey let out a cleansing sigh. “I think so.”

“You two looked pretty cozy.”

“Too cozy.”

“For what it's worth, I don't think he's the same guy from eight years ago.”

“That's what I'm afraid of.”

 

Thirteen

Lindsey watched as Derek stood up from his sanding and stretched. They'd been out in the barn working on Anne's island for nearly two days. Amazingly, Derek had kept his promise and behaved. He hadn't flirted or touched her once, and she'd enjoyed herself. Even if she occasionally wished he'd might make a tiny move. But she was pleased that he'd respected her wishes for space. They'd talked, laughed, and gotten a lot of work done.

She still couldn't believe they'd found this amazing piece for the island and she was so excited for it to be completed. Lindsey honestly wasn't sure what it had been in its former life—some sort of one-of-a-kind workspace—but it was perfect. It was just a touch higher than counter height, had small cabinets on each end, two sets of drawers in the center and a large stainless steel shelf across the entire bottom. It would hold a ton of kitchen stuff and Anne was going to love it.

“I think I need a break. What about you?” Derek asked.

The weather had warmed considerably over the course of the afternoon, leaving the barn a little stuffy. The minute Derek's fingers went to the button on his plaid flannel shirt Lindsey's eyes went back down to the drawer she was working on.

After a moment she was unable to help herself and she let her eyes peer up through her lashes quickly. He almost had the last button undone. A light gray tee came into view, and when he pulled the shirt off Lindsey noticed how it squeezed against his biceps and shoulders. Derek ran a hand through his hair and turned to look down at the island.

Good Lord, why did the man have to be so beautiful? She remembered his naked body like it was yesterday. A blessing, because it was a wonderful memory, a curse because now she wanted to see it again. And here he was in the flesh, tempting her.

The dark hair on his arms drew her attention as he used a hand to absently scratch his stomach, pulling up his shirt, revealing just a trace of his abs and happy trail.

She picked up her sanding block and refocused on the small trim running around the drawer face. She should probably sand it again just to get her body under control. Yep, good idea.

From the corner of her eye she saw his feet coming toward her. His boot kicked at her tennis shoe and she looked up, faking surprise, as if she hadn't been watching him intently just a moment ago.

She pulled her dust mask off her head and looked up.

“I said break. My back's killing me from sitting on the ground.”

She glanced down at the dirt beneath her. Now that she thought about it, the ground was pretty uncomfortable. Almost as much as her unfulfilled lust. She moved to set her drawer aside but Derek leaned down and grabbed it from her.

“Let's go for a walk,” he said.

“Oh, okay.”

He held a hand out and she grabbed it so he could haul her up. She made sure not to fall against him, quickly letting his hand go. “You lead.”

“Gladly.” Derek headed out the back door of the barn. Lindsey instinctively lifted her face up to the sun, loving the feel of it on her skin.

She walked forward, following Derek as he cut across the yard. Taking in the property, she admired the garden as they walked by. It was basically a wildflower garden, untamed and random but so beautiful. It led up to an adorable little courtyard at the back of the house and the plants were just starting to come alive again.

“See that white line of fencing on the back of the garden?” Lindsey pointed to her right and stopped.

“Yeah,” Derek replied.

“Those are all lilac bushes running alongside it. Anne and Mike will get married with that as the backdrop. The plan is that they'll be in bloom. Let's hope they are. It would be such a shame if they weren't.” She turned to look at Derek, who was now standing close beside her. “Anne loves lilacs. That's where Mike proposed last fall, too.”

“Really. Guess he's a romantic. I didn't know. Although it doesn't surprise me too much. I knew the proposal was here but didn't realize that he'd put all that thought into it.” Derek started toward the garden taking lazy steps.

Lindsey watched the back of him as he walked in front of her. His jeans were well-worn, with a frayed hole above the back pocket that housed his wallet. She swore she could see navy material peeking through. She knew he used to wear boxers, but that had been a long time ago. He might have changed. Was it briefs? Boxer briefs? She was curious and it suddenly felt like a question that needed an immediate answer.

The muscles in his back flexed as he put out a hand and touched the white fence, giving it a little shake to see how sturdy it was. It struck her that it was an incredibly male thing to do. “I take it this wedding will be on the small side?”

Lindsey thought about that. “I think around fifty people. So fairly small. After the ceremony here in the garden, everyone will head to the barn for the reception. Anne has big plans for it. Lights, tables, chandeliers. It will be beautiful.”

“Yeah. It will.”

It was a little awkward discussing her friend's wedding with him. What had his wedding been like? Big? Small? Fancy? There was no way she would ask him and it really wasn't any of her business. But it was a reminder that there were still many things about him she didn't know.

“Do you live in Preston?” she asked.

“Just a little ways out of town.” They continued their walk as they talked.

“In the country?”

“Not so much the country. We have neighbors. They're just a safe distance away. It's not a big house, but good for Tanner and me. He has lots of space to play outside and his own room. I really don't spend a lot of time at home unless he's there. Usually working late in my office or on a job site. Of course lately I've been with you.”

Derek turned and smiled at her as they walked a little farther toward a massive old tree toward the back corner of the property. Stepping up to the giant trunk, which appeared nearly as wide as a whiskey barrel, he reached out with his palm. It almost looked like he was trying to feel its heartbeat. What an odd thing, and yet now she wanted to do it, too. So she did. Placing her hand about a foot away from his.