Draw Me Close (23 page)

 

Fifteen

Sunday morning Lindsey and Melanie met their dad for brunch. Mel had offered to pay and that was probably why Isaac had agreed to come since he was perpetually broke. Lindsey hated that he couldn't seem to find work. Ever since his heart attack seven years ago he'd been on disability. The problem was that he couldn't afford to not work at all, so he'd taken random minimum-wage jobs here or there, never sticking with one for long. It was irritating, but she felt bad for him. Every year that went by he seemed more and more depressed. She'd been so sure that if he could just get back on his feet, get ahead, he'd feel better.

She should have known better. It was why she'd quit college—thinking that she'd go back after she'd stayed home with him for a while—and also why she'd agreed to help him out last fall. He'd been in a bad place, and without his car he couldn't get to work. She was afraid if he didn't try to keep some sort of normalcy in his life, he would go into a depression he couldn't climb out of.

It was true. She'd given up a lot to help him. She never did make it back to college, the money was just never there. But what else could she do? She and Mel were all he had, but since Lindsey's sister was good at creating boundaries, she never got burdened by his needs. He never even asked Mel for anything, and Lindsey hadn't revealed the depths of his struggles to her sister.

Lindsey smiled as she watched her father make silly faces at Eden, who had recently started giggling at anything and everything. He bounced her on his knee and spoke in a baby voice, kissing her chubby cheeks.

“I'm glad you could meet us, Dad,” Melanie said. “You haven't seen Eden in a while.”

“I know, I can't let that happen again,” he said. “We're best buds, aren't we?” He said in his baby voice again.

Lindsey smiled at Mel and then looked back at her father. “How is the job at the grocery store going?”

“Oh, you know, pretty good. Just keeping busy.”

Mel and Lindsey looked at each other, probably both noting how vague his response had been. He looked healthy, seemed happy this morning, and said everything was fine. But something seemed off. And nothing seemed to be improving with his financial situation, which wasn't good news for Lindsey, either.

Melanie usually had a comment where their father was concerned, but Lindsey was grateful she kept her mouth shut today, just sipped her coffee. Lindsey would no doubt hear all of Mel's thoughts later when they were home.

“So, Linds, you're still staying with Mel and Brett?” her father asked.

“Yes. Until I can afford to get a place of my own.” It didn't seem to register with him that she was broke and that loaning him money might have contributed to it.

“It's been such a blessing for us to have Lindsey around to help. It's worked out perfectly,” Mel said.

“Of course it has. Lindsey's our girl,”

Lindsey smiled, but his comment struck a nerve.
Lindsey's our girl.
She always had been. Lindsey helps, sacrifices, forgives. It was what she did.

“I think we might have a ripe one,” Isaac said, sniffing at Eden with a grimace.

Mel scooted away from the table and laid down her napkin. She reached out for Eden and spoke in her own baby voice. “Be right pack, Abuelo, I need my diaper changed.”

He handed the baby right over as Mel picked up the diaper bag and headed to the back of the dining room toward the restroom. Suddenly Lindsey felt nervous sitting alone with her father, especially when he leaned into the table and stared at her.

“You okay, Dad?” she asked.

“I'm trying, mi hija. Always trying,” he said.

Lindsey's stomach dropped, her heart began to race. “Did you lie? Are you no longer working at the grocery store?”

He had the decency to look ashamed. “No. They let me go, but I knew it was coming.”

Lindsey sucked in a breath. “When did this happen?”

“Last month.”

“Last month? Dad!”

“I know, I should have said something sooner. I just hate having to bother you with my problems.” Lindsey glanced around the room. He never did this in front of Mel because he knew she would be pissed.

“Dad, what does this mean? How have you been paying all of your bills?”

“I had to quit paying a few of them.”

Lindsey leaned back in her seat, trying not to panic. In some ways her father was like a child, always had been. And she had been his mother. It was infuriating and sad at the same time. Why couldn't she be more like Mel, create healthy boundaries, put herself first? Mel wasn't selfish or ungenerous, she was just … strong. Exactly what Lindsey was always trying to be. Often failing.

“I have a job interview Tuesday morning. I think if you could just float me … say, three hundred dollars till I can get back on my feet, everything would be fine.”

Lindsey felt tears burning her eyelids. She had $300, but she'd spent the past few months saving for when she could afford to move out of Mel's. She had hopes of renting her own place, somewhere with a large space that she could work in. On top of that, business had been slow for her since she didn't have studio space right now. There wasn't really $300 to spare.

And she knew she would never see it again from her father. It was not a loan.

“Dad, I—”

“I promise, mi hija, this will be the last time. The grocery store just wasn't a good fit for me physically, but I feel like this job I got lined up could be the one. It's just, the city has only given me till the rest of the week before they shut off my water. And the electric—”

“Dad. That's enough.” Lindsey couldn't stand to hear it. She saw Mel enter the dining room. “I'm sorry, Dad. I can't bail you out anymore.”

Lindsey dug in her purse and slid him a twenty-dollar bill. “Here. It's all I can do. That should cover gas for you to go fill out some applications. Do interviews.”

“Lindsey, I need you.”

“I'm sorry, Dad. I really am.”

She felt like she might cry but managed to put on a smile when Mel came back to the table. Her father also recovered by instantly reaching for Eden once again. But they didn't speak much after that. When it was time to say good-bye he gave Eden and Mel a big hug and a kiss, telling them how much he loved them. Then he turned to Lindsey, gave her a quick sideways hug and told her he'd “see you next time.”

The entire exchange had left her feeling cold and guilty. And that wasn't fair. She'd done so much for him. He'd never, ever treated her that way.

Before they walked back to Mel's car, her sister looked at Lindsey. “Everything okay with Dad?”

“Of course, why?” Lindsey said.

“Just felt a little tense between you two. He didn't ask you for money, did he?”

Lindsey reared back, looking shocked. Which wasn't difficult because she definitely had not expected that question from Mel. “No.”

And now she was a liar. Which made her feel even shittier.

Mel didn't look entirely convinced. “Okay, well, if he ever does, you don't give it to him. Okay?”

That comment struck Lindsey as odd but she chose not to continue the conversation. She only shrugged. “Okay, whatever.”

 

Sixteen

One week.

That's how long it had been since he'd walked away from Lindsey. Since they'd yelled at one another. And also when they'd had what had started out as totally amazing sex.

Glancing at his watch, Derek stood up from his desk. He had a presentation meeting in twenty minutes that he should be prepping for, but instead he was doing the only thing he seemed to be capable of anymore. Thinking of Lindsey.

He hated himself for how he'd left, but he'd been way too much of a pussy to try and reach out to her since. He'd been pushing her a lot lately and decided that maybe he should try hanging back. Actually give her that space she'd requested. She'd had valid reasons for withdrawing. And maybe he was just straight up stupid for thinking that they could ever get back what they'd had before. He'd gotten wrapped up in her, said things he probably shouldn't have. But damn it, he hadn't been lying. He had missed her. Thought of her. And she'd admitted the same.

His secretary knocked on the door and peeked her head in. “Davis is a little early, shall I send him in?”

“Yeah, that's fine. I'm ready.”

Within an hour he was shaking hands with the man and signing contracts to fully design a new building for a new showroom and warehouse for Davis and Jennon Appliances. They wanted something modern and functional and had liked Derek's initial ideas better than anyone else's. Derek was pleased and felt slightly better once he'd walked Neil Davis outside and said good-bye after one more handshake.

Derek inhaled deeply. It was overcast, the sky gray and perfectly matching his mood. He decided to do what he normally did when he felt like crap, so he started to walk around the building. He found Mike leaning on a worktable, phone to his ear, a huge grin on his face. He nodded at Derek when he saw him.

“I love you, too.”

Derek angled his body away, annoyed by his friend's conversation with his fiancée. Jealousy wasn't a feeling Derek had often, and really never with Mike. He wanted his best friend to be happy, he deserved it more than anyone, but damn, right now anyone else's relationship bliss pissed him the hell off. He heard Mike say good-bye and turned to face him.

“Hey, man, you're just in time for lunch,” Mike said. “How about my treat and then we go get fitted for the tux?”

“Ah, man.” Derek sighed. A clothes fitting sounded like the last thing he wanted to do today. “Do we have to?”

“Anne's been bugging me. It's got to happen this week. Might as well get it out of the way.”

Derek almost protested but quickly realized he was being a dick. This was his friend's wedding, he was his best man, and if he needed to go have some old guy push his nuts aside to find his inseam then so be it. “Okay, but you're not treating. If anyone should be doing that it's me.”

“You've twisted my arm,” Mike said, grabbing a shirt and pulling it over his tee. “I'll drive. Let's do the fitting first.”

Twenty minutes later they were crossing the river and heading into Kansas City, and Derek suddenly realized he hadn't spoken one word the entire drive. He forced himself to speak. “So, uh, everything else ready for the wedding?”

Mike gave him a surprised look. “I think so. You looking to help?”

Derek laughed and shook his head. “No. I was just trying not to sit here and be a brooding asshole.”

“Yeah, about that. You okay?”

Derek didn't respond right away. Then he decided to just lay it out there. “Linds and I had sex.”

Mike's eyes went wide and he glanced quickly at Derek before looking back at the road. “Shit, man. Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“When did this happen?”

“A week ago when we were working at the house.”

Mike's brow furrowed. “So, this is bad? Or this is good?”

“Well, it should have been good. But no. It's pretty damn bad.”

“Shiiiit.” Mike looked out the windshield as he sat at a red light. “What happened?”

“Honestly? I don't even know. I mean, I do, but I don't know when it went wrong or what I can do to fix it. She accused me of trying to get back what we used to have.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Well … yeah.”

Mike seemed to be considering his next comment. “Did she say what she wished you would have done?”

“That's just it, I don't think she even knows. She's hot and cold. I think we both are to a point.”

“So she's scared.”

“I think so.”

“Understandable.” Mike took a left turn and headed down 14th Street. “Sounds like you two just need to talk it out.”

Derek laughed. “I don't know if she wants to ever see me again.”

“Oh please, you know that's not true. It can't be that bad if she hasn't gotten on the horn and bitched about what happened.”

“How do you know she hasn't?”

Mike looked confused by the question. “Anne would have told me.”

“Why would Anne tell you if Lindsey called and talked about me?”

“Because Anne tells me everything.” Mike pulled into a parking garage.

“No way does she tell you everything,” Derek argued.

“Wanna bet?” Mike pulled into a spot and killed the engine on his Camaro.

“You seriously think Anne shares everything with you?” Derek turned in his seat, staring him down.

Mike shrugged. “Something like that she would. I know it.”

Derek shook his head. “I don't believe that. Girls keep secrets.”

Mike opened his car door and looked at Derek. “Yeah, everyone keeps secrets, but now I'm her
person
. You know? The one. And she tells me stuff, especially when it's her friends she's worried about. Believe me, even things I'd rather not know.”

“Her
person,
huh?”

“Yeah. And it's good. You need to get yourself a person.”

Maybe he did. It sounded good, and he'd never had that with a woman. Had never had that one person to always count on and turn to when you needed to unload. Find support. Just share stupid stuff with. He certainly hadn't had that with Lisa, that was for damn sure. But he wanted it. More than anything.

“Come on.” Mike slid out of the car. “Let's get your ass in here and get you all dolled up for my wedding.”

They were almost to the tux shop doorway when Mike turned and glared at Derek. “Hold up. Are you telling me you had sex in my new house before I did?” When Derek didn't respond Mike just shook his head and opened the door. “That's messed up, man.”