Drawing Dead (20 page)

Where you headed?

He was about forty. Slim and tall. Seemed nice enough, perhaps somewhat of a simpleton, but a polite enough fella all the same.

Just driving really.

North?

Yeah...well, might head east a tad, what’s the next town if head in that direction?

Big one or any one?

Any.

That’s be Moderna. Bout eighteen kilometres north-east. They got a road block though.

As he was gabbing he was working, tallying things up on a notepad. They were living in the dark ages up this way. Didn’t even have a calculator this asshole.

A roadblock?

Yep. Trying to trap some murderers I hear. From the city. Both ways are blocked. North and north-east. And there ain’t no other way through. I don’t know much about it. Just that the roads are blocked. Police sitting there waiting about two kilometres outside the town. They’ll stop you either way.

I was getting a kick outta this. Mine and Evie’s picture was on the front page of the newspaper I was buying. He was too dumb to know he was aiding and abetting.

Murderers?

Yep. Cold-blooded too they say. City people are all mad you know. Too much to do and have down there. Too much in general. But what do I know?

Very fucking little.

I think you’re onto something there.

I know I am.

How much do I owe you?

He tallied it up. I’m pretty sure he fucked that up and undercharged me too. No way what I’d bought added up to what he told me. Thicker than full cream. What did I care? I walked and threw the lot of it into the boot with the money and gun. Got in and sat a second. Braced myself. Leant back and seized that booze I'd thrown back there and took a decent hit. Capped the bottle, hurled it back where I’d got it, then started wheeling with sharpened watchfulness toward hell or Moderna.

I consulted the map as I drove, watched the odometer tick over, another five clicks up the road there was a dirt track that went left and went deep. I found it easy enough and followed the sonofabitching thing until its crunching, pot-holed conclusion. It ended in an opening up of space, a plaza of red dirt and rocks. A nice marker to aspire back toward. From that clearing it was just under six clicks directly down and to the left to where I was planning to clamber out the water and scale that crumbling semi cliff face then scramble crossways over the bush land. I knew it was gonna be a real bitch but it was just dawning on me now how tough this could actually get. Hacking through virgin green, sun screaming, sweating, swearing, Evie in tow moaning and crying. It was a batshit wild plan, crowded to the brim with adversity and disorder, but I had no other one man!

The day stealing a million dollars of someone else’s money was easy, was the day whores starting fucking for free. I didn’t even have a knife on me. I stared back through the bush, shook my head and spat; it was gonna be a virtual shitfight in there. At least with a blade if it got too much I could have killed her and then myself soon after…Lexy, goddamn! Not fucking now son. Not now. I remembered I had the gun. Yeah that was much easier, and more efficient too. Bang and then bang. I stopped kidding about and got to work. I got the canvas bags and laid them on the ground and then started transferring the money over to them in bundled double handfuls. From a quick guess I’d’ve said there were about two hundred five grand packs. So it took me a good quarter-hour of work. I’d never seen so much money collected together at one time. Expected I probably never would again. I placed the supplies on top of the cash and zipped up. Pocketed ten large for expenses and then with the jack from the boot and down on my knees I dug out two shallow holes, cursing myself for not having bought a spade at the store. I sat the two bags there, each to its own grave and then covered them with debris. Got that juice back in my hand and took a much deserved jolt.

If this thing I had planned worked out I was gonna be pretty damn proud of myself, if not I was gonna be in jail or dead, or the first awhile and then eventually the other, ah we’re all gonna die someday anyhow.

A lamenting riot of a requiem for the loser if you could sir.

23

It was maybe eight in the morning when I pulled back into the hotel. Callous cold-blooded sunlight still in reign. I got out the car map in hand and purposeful, resolute to fuck Evie a couple more times and then to run over this jackass scheme of mine a few minutes before we tried the bastard on. All in all everything was skipping along and the nonsensicality of the design and tightness of the rope garroted round my neck was pale in comparison to insurgence and mutiny in my heart and loins. I took the last of the fermented fluid as an acknowledgment to the arriving clusterfuck and as a dirge to life in general. I was gonna march in and lay assault to her ass, let loose so as she loved it and then we were gonna stride out and in all probability give up the ghost together.

Yee-haw!

When I got inside, Evie was hog-tied on the bed with black tape. Face first, wrists to her ass and ankles to the roof. A neat little package if ever there were one. As much as I wished she’d gone and done it as a splendid surprise for my twisted tastes I knew a person couldn’t pull that off themselves. Took at least one man, plus the victim, to do. With two it was easier, the second held’em down if they squirmed you see, and they usually did just that.

Again though, I’m off track.

I stood in the doorway a second trying to make a decision, should I go for the gun in the boot, or go and see if she was alright. Got made for me though. Heard it before I saw it. A beast with its great bulky ass hanging out my car window. A bear foraging for food perhaps, a golem come to life and tearing after his beloved.

No such luck.

Motherfucker popped the boot. Hoofed over to it. Beat his chest with Evie’s gun in hand and then made for the place I was standing. I tried to evoke what to do when under attack from a beast of this magnitude.

Stand still?

Act mad?

Run downhill?

Play dead?

All of the above?

Instead I just did as he said and ambled backward one foot after the other with my hands in the air. The pull-tie had left his neck red and black and blue. Man I wished I had some of those right here and now, and that this animal hadn’t have shown up; Evie would be getting what for and then some. Rob still had on his leather pants and denim jacket and I could tell he wasn’t happy with me by the way he crashed the gun into the side of my head and sent me stumbling back into the room proper.

He had determined he owed me some more, and in fairness he did, and he went about delivering on the owe with a series of exploding kicks and detonated stomps. He left me in a heap and went over and closed the door. Motherfucker still hadn’t said a word. He didn’t have to though; the taste of blood in my mouth and the gun in his hand said it all. I felt nauseous from the impact. Didn’t stop me getting up and taking a swing at him. Which missed by a mile, and led to a further bombardment of blows.

Settle down there Jack.

Evie had been whimpering the entire time through an apple stuffed in her mouth and kept there with tape. Like a piglet ready to eat. I’d bought that apple, and couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of doing the same thing yesterday when I had her all tied up myself. Had no tape though. Rob went on with the speech he’d prepared.

If you play it smart Jack you might live through the day, I'm not promising anything now though, 'cause I'd just be plain fucking lying, course you’re gonna have to tell me where all that money is.

Evie kept yelping. I wished to hell she would shut the fuck up. Rob kept on with the talk.

If you’re lucky you’ll end up like that friend of yours, I borrowed his car, nice guy, found him at your office, Larry right, a tough son of a bitch; I had to beat the living daylights out of that motherfucker. He eventually gave you up, hard as a coffin nail though…was pretty difficult to understand him in the end, I’d broken his jaw, badly too, I think maybe he said hi.

It was a bullshit pitch. Chenko had no idea where I was headed, fuck he didn’t even know I was gone. And he’d never be dumbass even to go to my office with heat enough to singe your eyebrows on this entire damned circus we’d created. I played along.

I didn’t think you were capable of stringing that many sentences together Rob.

A fucking wiseass to the end huh?

I made a sudden move, just to test him, and he shoved the gun forward with deliberate menace.

I got the gun Jack, remember that, no unexpected moves ok you son of bitch?

Spell unexpected for me.

He booted me for that. A real nice one. Evie hollered through the apple. Goddamn I coulda done some things to her in that precarious position. Rob spotted the map I’d dropped when he had started kicking my ass.

Maybe we don’t need you huh Jack?

I hadn’t put a mark on the thing on account of my ambiguous feelings of trust toward Evie.

Good luck finding it off of that dickhead.

Could be anywhere couldn’t it.

Goddamn right it could.

He threw the map on the floor and kicked me again. I was getting real sick of that.

Maybe I should just shoot you now then.

Evie kicked and struggled and popped the apple out her mouth somehow. If I’d rigged it up there’s no way that would have happened.

He’s crazy Jack, he’ll do it.

Even though he looks it, he can’t be that stupid Evie.

Kick. Stomp. Kick.

I’m the only one who knows where the money is Fonzi; shoot me at your peril you dimwitted fuck.

Kick. Kick. Stomp. It was getting real old I can tell you. He made another play then, moved over to Evie, captured her ruthlessly by the hair and jacked her up into a wide-eyed arch. One handed he had her whole body off the bed, balancing painfully on her knees, he pushed the gun hard into her right eye-socket. She made a noise like an animal would just before slaughter.

Whaddaya say Jack?

This guy was such a recreational criminal I almost laughed but instead I threw up a little. Blood and booze.

Shoot the bitch…then you don’t get her or the money.

He smiled at that. Maybe because I was so mean to Evie. Dropped her like a bad habit. She bounced on the mattress. Breath pressed from her lungs in forced exhalation.

Whaddaya want Jack?

He was starting to catch on. I thought quick, laid it on him.

Evie, half the money, and three days head start on you.

He smiled again. With all the consternation of an imbecile.

That ain’t gonna work Jack.

He moved over, right there almost atop me. He scratched his face with the muzzle screwed in firm to hush the gun. I could hear it grate against his stubble.

I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at my ass Rob, if you’re gonna fuck me just get it over with huh, just make sure you oil the hell outta me first.

He chuckled to himself.

You’re about the biggest asshole I ever met in my life Jack.

Wasn’t the first person to tell me so.

Better than being an ass-bandit though ain’t it Rob.

If some sucker had taught me a lesson years ago I wouldn’t have this motherfucking mouth on me you know. He bent down and positioned the gun against my knee, my shoulder, my gut, my groin. I didn’t like this game. Every point the gun touched went afire with phantom pangs. I told him so.

When I get that gun off you I’m gonna shove it your ass and pull the trigger Roberto, what you think about that?

He thrust the gun against my throat. He didn’t have to say it, I knew what he thought. Rob took a minute then. He was running out of options. He couldn’t kill me, or really even threaten to, I held all the aces and he knew it. The asshole still musta thought I didn’t know it had been Evie who’d called him up and got his ass out here. Musta done it yesterday. The Chenko explanation held about as much water as a sieve would. How’d he know Larry’s name though? I made eyes with Evie and she widened hers in a mimed countenance of petition and artificially stricken fear. Rob saw it. I saw he saw it. He went and put the gun down on the bedside table, picked up the tape and then started to undress. When done he came and stood over me again. Nothing but his underwear on. Just perfect I thought, on top of everything fucking other thing, now I’m gonna get ass raped too. It was turning out to be one hell of a week. If I’d had anything but a thumping head and sickened stomach I woulda made for the gun.

As it was I had nothing, maybe less than that.

He slumped me up and onto a chair, positioned it so my back was to the bed and taped me to it. When he was done with that he laid into me some more. Going so far as to go back and get the gun and pistol-whip my ass until he saw suitable. I was hurting. Real bad I can tell you. To the point where I was losing consciousness at times, not fully, but in and out of hot speckled vortices and the flourishing din of struggle and clatter. I was taped down and hovering at once. A trampled spaceman bleeding into his helmet and about to suffocate on the blood. Lexy was there. Anti-gravity in her bathtub by me, sunlight filtered through her windswept blonde hair, saying kiss me there Jack through the crimson clogging my ears. I licked the freckles from her cheekbone and they tasted like cherry.

On the bed I could hear Evie resist. She was moving enough for me to think that Rob had untied her. Now he was planning on pretending to rape her in my presence and hope to hell it was enough to get me on side. I wasn’t sure if she was in on it, hell I hardly knew where I was. My face and ribs stung. Breathing hurt. Thinking hurt. And Lexy wouldn’t stop blowing kisses at me, blowing kisses and pulling faces, made me fucking smile.

Behind me the feigned fight was on, or maybe Rob was really gonna rape her, I didn’t care anymore. Lexy was pushing her bee-stung breasts at me, arching her back so as her ribs and flesh gave as much drive as they could. She pouted her lips and looked about as serious as her teenage wantonness would allow. I told her to stand up and she said but I’ll get cold outta the water Jack.

The way Rob had taped me I couldn’t really get a look back over my shoulder. I tried but all I caught was feet. Lexy stood up and did that same slinging arch, got me every time, chest out, ass out, slight turn so as to display those underwrought hips and the place where thigh becomes fleshy, that beautiful youthful face saying if you don’t fuck me all night I just won’t ever forgive you Jack, you know I won’t, then bursting into a laughter that rang out like bubbly machine gun fire and exploded in my senses like springtime can do out off winter. Her features igniting the way the sun would through the down on the back of her thighs, that spot she somehow always missed shaving, sparks raining divided through the darkness of restlessness and existence, how she would sometimes ask me evocative questions and really and truly listen to my inconsequential answers.