Read Dream of Me: Book 1 The Dream Makers Series Online
Authors: Quinn Loftis
“I can’t speak for others, but my word is good. If I say I’m going to do it then I’m going to do it,” she told him and then looked over at Emma. “Come here, Emma.” She motioned with her hand. Emma started to move forward but Rat pointed the gun at her and she froze.
“Stop!” Serenity yelled. “If you shoot her then you might as well shoot me too because you will not take me alive from this house if you don’t let her go.” Rat looked at her, back to Emma, and then back to Serenity again. She could tell that he was trying to figure out if she was bluffing. She hoped that he chose correctly.
“Fine,” he huffed like a petulant child. “But if she goes for help and someone shows up here, I’ll kill you.”
Serenity ignored his threat as she again motioned for Emma to come to her. Emma moved cautiously across the living room and, though it was only around twenty five feet, it felt as though miles separated the two as she waited for the girl to reach her. When Emma was less than a foot away from Serenity’s outstretched hand, Rat suddenly lifted the gun and, from that moment on, everything seemed for Serenity to move in slow motion.
Her eyes widened as she looked over at Rat and saw something else staring out of the man’s eyes. It was an evil so vile and dark that the already meager lights in the room seemed to dim.
“She must die,” Rat howled, but it wasn’t Rat’s voice, and even that statement seemed to come out in a slow motion scream.
Serenity simultaneously pushed Emma behind her while moving toward Rat and the gun that was now aimed at her. Rat pulled the trigger and the bullet flew from the barrel. Serenity felt as though she could see it slicing through the air moving directly toward her.
Somehow, from somewhere far away it seemed, she heard Dair’s voice. It was a primal roar, and she could feel pain in the sound. But despite that awareness, she was at total peace. For so long she had wondered what her destiny was. She never knew what she wanted to do or where she wanted to go. Since her parents’ death, she had felt as though she was just going through the motions of life until…until Dair. Flashes of his handsome face flew threw her mind. Then she saw the future she could have had with Dair shatter along with her rib cage as the bullet sliced into her body. The projectile hit with such force that it knocked her back against the wall behind her, and her head made a resounding thud but her body never hit the floor. Dair’s arms were around her, lowering her gently to the ground. His dark eyes bore into her, swirling with emotions. She wanted to reach up and smooth away the crease in his brow but her arm would not obey her command. She shivered as the cold crept inside, enfolding her in death’s embrace.
Serenity was dying. She knew that with utter certainty and yet she was not afraid. There was a part of her that was sad. The part of her that belonged to Dair wanted her to fight. It wanted a life with him and it refused to leave this life behind. But another part of her, somewhere deep inside, knew that this had been her path all along. This part of her knew that it was her destiny all along to be here to save Emma, and it was resigned and at peace with what had happened.
“Don’t leave me,” Dair whispered against her ear. She felt the darkness surround them and knew that Dair was using his disappearing act to take them somewhere else but she was quickly growing tired. She wasn’t able to concentrate on the sounds that now filled the air. Dair laid her down on a firm surface and suddenly there was a flurry of people surrounding her but none of them were Dair. He was pushed back away from her and she wanted to cry out for him to come back. If she was going to die, she wanted his face to be the last thing she saw and his voice to be the last sound she heard. But instead, as her eyes slipped closed, the last thing she saw were green scrubs leaning over her, and the last sound she heard was the voice of some random person saying, “We’re losing her.” And then there was nothing.
D
air fought the urge to push the medical staff out of the way to get back to where he belonged, back to her side. He had no idea if she could be saved, but he had to try. He couldn’t just let her go without a fight. His footsteps echoed against the tile floor as he paced outside the room where the doctors and nurses were attempting to save his love’s life. The harsh florescent lights seemed even brighter as fear and anger filled him. Dair couldn’t get the image out of his mind. He had appeared in Mildred’s house to the scene of his darkest nightmare.
He had waited for Serenity to return from the ladies’ room, and after fifteen minutes he had gone back to check on her. When he realized she wasn’t in the restroom, he had searched the restaurant, and the longer he went without finding her the more frantic he had become. Just as he was walking out to the parking lot to see if her car was still there, he heard Raphael’s voice in his mind. “Come to Mildred’s. Now.” The angel’s voice had been so filled with rage that Dair had begun to shake with his own.
Then he was there watching Rat pull the trigger, the bullet rushing through the air, and then hitting its target―his Serenity. Dair hadn’t been able to move. As though his feet were encased in cement, deep in the ground, he was trapped in the spot where he had appeared. As he watched her body fly back with the impact and crash into the wall, he saw her begin to crumble to the floor. That brought him out of his stupor and he caught her before she could hit the ground. Her body was limp, lifeless, and broken. Dair looked into her eyes, searching for her, imploring her to fight. Serenity’s breathing was labored and he could hear her heartbeat stutter as it fought to keep pumping. He could see the light fading from her, pulling further and further away from him, and he panicked. Dair knew what the Creator had shown him. He knew that this was her destiny but he could not accept it. So he vanished with her in his arms and reappeared at the hospital not caring if he scared some poor soul to death when he suddenly materialized in the ER doorway.
The hours ticked by as he continued to pace. He was vaguely aware of Serenity’s aunt and uncle arriving with Raphael, Glory and Emma. They didn’t approach him and he imagined that had something to do with Raphael, and he would be forever grateful to the angel for interfering. Although the looks Glory was shooting him made it clear she was not happy about not being able to speak with him. He wasn’t sure that he could be polite and maintain the correct social etiquette that the situation warranted. Dair didn’t want to hurt Darla or Glory or be rude so it was better if he just stayed separate from them for now. Raphael, however, didn’t seem to be worried about Dair’s temperament.
“Are you alright?” the angel asked, his voice flat, betraying no emotion.
Dair shook his head unsure of how to answer. He didn’t know if he was alright and he wouldn’t know until Serenity’s fate was made clear. If she died, then the answer to that question would be a huge resounding hell no.
“I killed the human who shot her.” He told Dair this as if he went around killing humans every day, which was not the case.
Dair’s head snapped up as his furrowed brow deepened. “You broke the law?”
Raphael shook his head. “No. The demon that the man housed took matters into his own hands. He made the human raise the gun and pull the trigger. He took the man’s free will away and so I destroyed him. But it cost the human his life.”
“It’s no less than he deserved,” Dair growled through clenched teeth. He finally stopped his pacing and stood in front of his long time comrade. “I have something I have to do. Will you stay here with her?” The last thing Dair wanted to do was leave Serenity, but there was one who could save her, one who had that power, and he would try anything to save her. Even begging.
“Of course.”
Dair nodded his thanks and then stepped around the corner of the hallway, making himself invisible to all but two. He came back around the corner and passed Raphael without a word, heading straight for the young girl who sat quietly in one of the dingy waiting room chairs. Dair knelt down in front of Emma and gave her a sad smile. “How are you doing?” he asked with more gentleness than he realized he was capable of in that moment. Glory sat next to the young girl holding her smaller hand tightly in hers. Her face also was streaked with tears but Dair could tell she was trying to keep it together for Emma’s sake.
A single tear slid down Emma’s cheek as she looked up at him. Her eyes darted away to check and see if anyone was watching her he assumed. If anyone was watching, it would appear that she was talking to herself. She apparently wasn’t worried about what Glory would think, probably because Glory knew all about him. When her eyes were back on him she let out a shuddering breath. “I didn’t want to call her. I did this to her. If I’d told Rat no then—,”
“Then you would be dead, Emma,” Dair interrupted. He wouldn’t sugarcoat it, not for her. Such patronizing would be insulting to her intelligence. “Rat did this, not you. Nobody blames you, and you know Serenity doesn’t either.”
“She’s going to die, isn’t she?” Emma asked, her words shaking out of her.
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I hope not.”
“I’m praying that she doesn’t. It’s not her time, Dair. She’s too young; I mean she’s older than me but mama would still call her a barely blossomed flower. She’d say Serenity hadn’t reached her full bloom and that the sun was still rising in her life. She used to say that to me all the time. She’d say my mind bloomed way before the rest of me. Serenity shouldn’t be picked before her season is over. Think of how many people will miss out on knowing her. She saved me, Dair, not just my life but my spirit. She and Darla and Wayne took me in and loved me, and now Serenity will pay the price for knowing me and being a part of my messed up life.”
Dair placed his finger under her chin and raised her head once again so she would look at him. She was so wise for one so young, and yet she was still just a child in so many other ways. The grief she had already experienced in her few short years was more than most would experience in an entire lifetime. The fact that she wasn’t a complete mess was a miracle, and yet she truly had no clue just how special she was. “First of all, even if Serenity had known the outcome, even if she could have seen into the future, and had known what happened today, she would not have changed anything. She would still have latched onto you and taken you as her little sister. She would have still loved you fiercely and she would have given her life knowing that yours was one worthy of saving. Whatever the outcome of this, I hope that you will not let it make you bitter. You’ve lost so much, Emma Jean, and yet you remain a beacon of light in a dark world. Don’t change, not for anything or anyone.”
Emma wiped the tears from her eyes as she attempted to give him a reassuring smile. “What about you?” she asked. “You love her.”
He nodded.
“If she dies, what will become of you?”
Dair attempted to let out a slow breath but it felt tight in his chest and threatened to choke him. He didn’t want to think about Serenity dying. He didn’t want to give a second’s thought to a world without her. “I do not know. I have never experienced loss. The emotions that I’ve recently begun to feel are new to me, and I will admit that I don’t know what I will do if I lose her.”
“You deserve her, you know,” Emma said gently. “I know you don’t think you’re worthy of her. My daddy used to tell my mom that all the time. My mama would look at him and say,
stupid man, it is the love we choose to give each other that makes us worthy.
Don’t sell yourself short, Sandman. Sure, you have terrible taste in clothes and your job is pretty weird, but you chose to love an imperfect human and she chose to love you. I think that proves that you both are worthy too.”
Dair patted her softly on the knee and then stood. Emma truly baffled him at times with her wisdom and knowledge and it left him speechless. “I have to go for a little while. Raphael will stay.”
“I’m asking Him too.”
Dair’s head tilted to the side.
She nodded up toward the ceiling. “The Creator. That’s where you’re going, right? Well, I’m talking to Him too and asking Him to leave her here with us.”
Dair didn’t know what to say. Again he was speechless. So he only nodded and then disappeared. Emma was right; he was going to the Creator. He had no clue what he was going to say. But he knew he had to petition Him, to intercede on Serenity’s behalf. Dair wasn’t sure if he was about to face the wrath of the Creator for his interference, but he would risk it. For her sake, he would risk anything.
“Dreaming that you are moving toward a bright light does not necessarily mean your time on earth is coming to an end. It could perhaps mean that you have a brilliant idea brewing and don’t even know it.”
S
erenity opened her eyes and felt the warmth of the sun on her skin. She took in a deep, painless breath and smiled as a gentle breeze blew across her face. As she looked around her, she realized she was standing in a large field surrounded by green grass, full trees, and blooming flowers; the landscape around her was nearly too perfect. Perhaps, this was what it was like to be dead. She was surprised to find that the idea that she was indeed dead didn’t upset her. She had peace about it, just like when she had decided to move in with her Aunt Darla and Uncle Wayne. She just knew it was the path she was supposed to take.
“Do you think that there is but one path for a person to follow?” A deep voice surrounded her, and though she probably should have been frightened, Serenity found that she couldn’t be. Her spirit recognized the one who created her, and she could feel her Creator’s love radiating in the very rays of the sun beaming down on her. Serenity hadn’t always ‘believed’ in the Creator, and yet somehow she had always known he was real. Feeling his love now, she suddenly wished she had searched more while she’d been alive. She couldn’t see anyone around her, but she could feel him.
“I don’t know,” Serenity answered honestly. “I’ve heard people talk about destiny and fate, and I have wondered if someone could stray from the path destined for them. Would there be no opportunity to get back on it? Would there be a plan B?”
“Do you have an answer to your questions?” the Creator asked.
Serenity thought about it. Even though she couldn’t feel any physical ‘arms,’ she felt as though she were being wrapped in a warm embrace―one that was full of love, peace, and comfort. She knew that, as the one that created her, he would want her to fulfill her purpose. After all, her parents had created her physical body, and they cheered her on every step of the way. They held her when she cried, they instructed when she failed, and they believed in her when she doubted herself. If her parents felt that way about her, how much more would the Creator, who created her spirit and ordained every day of her life, care about her. Surely he would give second chances, and third and fourth and fifth for that matter. He knew his children better than anyone, and he certainly knew their propensities to wander. So there had to be more than one way to fulfill her destiny.
“Yes, I think that there must be more than one path, more than one option.” She felt his approval. When he said nothing more, she asked her own question. “Is my life over? Was that my path?”
“You fulfilled one purpose in the life given to you,” he told her. “There has been an outcry on your behalf by those who love you. I created humans in my image, and therefore their emotions are strong, though they are only a fraction of what I feel. Death is a very difficult truth for them to process, and they see it only as a negative result. They do not consider that in death you are truly being born into a life that will go on forever, spent with me as you were designed to in the beginning. There is no grief, no pain, or disease. There is no anger, hatred, wars, or natural disasters. With me there is only ever peace. That is what death is—simply a new birth into a new life.” There was a pause and Serenity thought he might not say anything else. But then his voice rumbled across the field once more.
“I can hear the cries of my people. They desire you to stay with them. But I want to hear from you. Daughter of mine, what is it that you want? What resides in your heart of hearts? Do you feel that there is still a purpose left for you on earth?”
Serenity plopped down ungracefully on the soft grass under the weight of his questions. Those were doozies. He wasn’t asking her favorite color or food; he was asking whether she wanted to live or die.
“Does my answer affect the outcome?” she asked.
“It is how it was always to be.”
Serenity wasn’t sure what that meant. Did that mean that her choice was already decided and had been before he ever asked her, and therefore, the outcome could never have been changed regardless of the cries of her family and friends? She supposed that that was a question she could wrestle with for eternity and never find the answer. Her little brain couldn’t even scratch the surface of understanding the Creator, much less form a working knowledge of predestination.
Serenity thought about His words―about how in death she wouldn’t experience all the painful things of life. She thought about eternal peace and everlasting joy, but she still couldn’t really grasp them. All she had known her eighteen years was the struggles of life on earth. Did she want to go back to that? And if she decided she did, did that make her ungrateful for the gift that the Creator offered in the afterlife? Because if she was truly honest with herself, though she loved the peace she felt now, there was a big part of her that wasn’t done living.
“You gave your creations life, right?”
“Yes, child, I created them and blew breath into them.”
“So you must have wanted them to live and experience the world that you created. I’m not talking about all the messed up stuff; I don’t even want to get into that. I just mean the things that make life worth living―the love of good parents, the miracle of birth, birthday cakes, and dancing with friends. There is such an abundance of life that I still haven’t experienced― being proposed to, a wedding, children, and all that comes with them. There is joy in the life you created that I haven’t felt and I want to.”
“What if those things aren’t yours to have in life? If there were no children in your future or no wedding?” He asked and it was a difficult question.
Serenity swallowed down the disappointment and looked past the sorrow of never having those things. There was more to life, wasn’t there? It wasn’t all about the love of a man and woman or raising children. There had to be more.
“Then I will find joy in the other things. Humans aren’t the only thing you created. I mean, you created this huge round ball of water and land and beauty and mystery. There is plenty for me to find purpose in even if I am not to have a husband or children.”
“So you have made your choice then?” the Creator asked her.
“I have. I want to live. If there is more for me to do then I want to do it.”
E
mma’s tears had finally stopped. Her tears had flowed until her head hurt as much as her heart. She had rung in the New Year with her aunt being arrested, Rat dying, and Serenity saving Emma’s life and fighting for her own. Now as she sat in the dim hospital waiting room with Darla holding her hand and Wayne pacing the already worn path from one end of the room to the other, there were no tears left. What was the point in crying? Tears didn’t solve a problem. They didn’t bring someone back to life or undo a horrible event. Tears simply left her with an ugly headache and puffy eyes. Just as those thoughts crossed Emma’s mind, a memory surfaced of her mother.
“I hate crying. It doesn’t fix anything. Mama, why do we have tears?”
Emma had once asked.
“God wanted us to be able to wash away the things in this life that bring us pain. He gave us tears because crying is like cleaning the slate. You’re right child; tears don’t fix whatever it is that might be wrong, but they do cleanse us and help make us ready to move forward.”
Emma didn’t feel cleansed. Even after all those tears, she didn’t feel ready to move forward. She understood what her mama had been saying, but right in that moment the only thing she could see was a friend who had sacrificed herself for her.
“Darla, why is there so much ugly in this world?” Emma asked, her voice raspy from crying.
Emma’s small hand was in Darla’s and the older woman squeezed it gently. “So that we could appreciate beauty.”
“There was nothing beautiful to appreciate tonight.”
Darla shook her head. “I have to kindly disagree.”
Emma’s head turned as she looked up at her. Darla had her full attention because she couldn’t imagine, after all the horrible events of the night, anything could possibly be beautiful.
“Serenity loves you like a sister. She loves you so much that she was willing to die so that you wouldn’t have to. That is beautiful, Emma Jean. And you are here in this waiting room. Though you’re tired, scared, and have no clue what the future holds, you are here waiting because you care about Serenity. That, too, is beautiful. Painful? Definitely, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful.”
Glory, who had been quiet most of the time let out a sigh. “Leave it to Darla to find the beauty in this and damn it if she isn’t right.” She looked at Emma. “Serenity loves you, and it’s not hard to see why. You Emma, are beautiful too.”
“I don’t want her to die,” Emma said suddenly and the tears that she thought she couldn’t possibly cry anymore welled up again.
“Oh, baby,” Darla soothed as she wrapped her arms around Emma. “I know you don’t. None of us do. Serenity is like you. She’s unique—special—and everyone who meets her knows it. She’s also strong and a fighter.”
Emma shuddered. “But what if fighting isn’t enough? Mama said that we all have a time we’re appointed to go. She said that we can’t expect to live forever, and when it’s time there is no amount of medicine or man’s wisdom that can stop it.”
Darla pulled back and looked down at her. “I wish I could have known your mama.” She smiled and Emma couldn’t help the small smile that pulled on her lips. Darla had that effect on people; she was contagious.
“She would have liked you too,” Emma agreed.
Darla’s face grew serious then as she looked into Emma’s eyes. “If this is Serenity’s time you have to make peace with that. You have to accept that she lived her life caring about others and died the same way. There is a reason that bullet hit her tonight and not you, Emma. So you grieve and you be angry and you mourn, but then you dry your tears and you figure out what it is that you’re supposed to do and you do it.”
“What if I can’t?” Emma’s lip quivered as she tried so desperately to hold herself together.
“You can’t, not on your own,” Darla’s eyes sparkled. “But you aren’t alone. You have me and Wayne, Glory and Dair and your very own guardian angel, not to mention all the ladies at the library.” She winked at her. “You are surrounded by people who love you and want to see you succeed. Never forget that.”
Emma said thank you because she didn’t know what else to say, and even that felt so very inadequate for the gratitude she felt. She, Darla and Glory sat in silence after their talk. There was nothing left to say or do but to wait. Finally the doors to the room where Serenity had been taken opened and a very tired looking doctor walked out. Glory and Darla stood and pulled Emma up with them. They, Wayne, and Raphael all converged on the doctor but none of them said anything.
“You are Ms. Tillman’s family?” the doctor asked.
Darla nodded. “She’s our niece and she lives with us.”
The doctor let out a slow breath. “The bullet that struck your niece was the kind that shatters on impact. So instead of a clean entry and exit, it destroys more than just where it hits. We had to do a transfusion and fix some major arteries. She’s stable, but not conscious. As far as we can figure, she must have hit her head when she fell after being shot because she has quite a lot of swelling around her brain.”
“When will she wake up?” Wayne asked.
“We don’t know if she will.”