Dreams Don't Count (2 page)

****

"That wasn't very nice, what you did last night," was
the first thing I heard the next time I wound up in the dream
room.

I rolled my eyes, though the effect was lost on my
brother since I wasn't actually facing him. "Haven't you ever heard
of 'no means no?'"

"I was only touching your boobs. Which we'd agreed
was okay, I might add."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you get unlimited
access." I crossed my arms and faced Tyler, doing my best to look
firm. "You need to listen better."

"And you need to play fair."

"Or what?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. "What exactly
is going to happen if I don't?"

I took my eyes off him for a second, which turned out
to be a mistake. He took the opportunity to tackle me to the floor
and pin my arms above my head.

"You know I'm stronger than you, right?" he said.
"Especially in my dream, 'cause I can basically be as strong as I
want here."

"Not your dream," I said and attempted to fling him
off me. It didn't work. I was getting really fed up with all these
arbitrary limitations my brain was giving me.

"Whatever you say. Point is, apparently you can wake
me up by trying to hurt me, so all I have to do is make sure you
can't do anything of the sort."

I continued to struggle, but with less and less
resolve to actually break free. It was something I'd never dared
tell anyone, and hadn't even wanted to admit it to myself for a
long while, but sometimes I kind of liked being restrained. It was
kind of a rush to know I was completely helpless against whatever
Tyler decided to do to me, though a lot of that was only because I
could trust him not to take too much advantage of me.

"You're so dead when I get free," I said, more for
show than anything.

He smiled. "Uh huh, 'cept the worst you can do is
wake me up and the whole point is to make sure you can't."

Slowly and with great care not to let me go, he
removed his shirt while holding me down with his free hand,
switching out as necessary. He then proceeded to use the shirt as a
make-shift rope to tie my hands together above my head. I hated
myself for starting to get aroused at the treatment. If only it had
been someone else tying me up, someone I could have fantasized
about without any guilt or self-loathing.

"So," he said as he finished and sat back, "are you
going to behave now?"

I sat up and tested my bonds. It wasn't the first
time I'd been tied up by Tyler, though it had been a long, long
time since he'd done it. He still remembered how to make sure I
couldn't get free easily it seemed. I couldn't help wondering if
some of those childhood games had anything to do with some of my
current feelings toward being held captive.

"Do I have much of a choice?" I asked.

"Not really."

"So what are you going to do to me?"

He shook his head. "You make it sound like I'm gonna
abuse you or something, and to be fair I probably could if I wanted
to. It's weird though, you're just too much like the real you. Like
I'm not even dreaming you up. Makes it hard to be too rough."

A thought occurred to me, one that had been bouncing
around in the back of my head but that I'd never put too much stock
in.

"You ever wonder if we're both actually here?" I
asked. "Like, if we're both having the exact same dream at the same
time."

He though for a moment. "That... would explain a lot
actually," he said slowly. "Except it also doesn't make any sense.
Like, people can't share dreams."

"How do you know? You have any proof of that?"

Tyler's rejection of my hypothesis, even though I
didn't really believe it either, immediately put me into argument
mode. Damned if I was going to let him win just because he was
probably right.

"Do you have any proof that it is possible?" he
countered. "Or any idea how it would even work?"

"No, but I totally can," I said.

"How?"

"Easy. Magenta. Make sure you remember that."

"What? That doesn't even... what?"

I smirked at his confusion, but also at how
distracted I'd gotten him. He hadn't even noticed how I'd been
working at untying his shirt from my wrists until I had already
slipped one of my hands free. He gave me a disbelieving look as I
lunged at him.

****

The more I thought about it, the more I tried to
convince myself there was no way Tyler and I were having shared
dreams. It was a silly idea. And yet... it would explain a lot
about the dreams, like why we were both there every time and why
neither of us had much control over them.

It didn't really matter what I thought though,
because at least now I had a way of determining the truth, and I
was actually quite pleased with my sleeping self for having come up
with it. All I had to do was talk to my brother when I saw him at
breakfast.

Tyler was already there when I made it down, and so
was mom which almost made me chicken out since it made the
necessary conversation far less private than I wanted. However,
there was nothing that needed to be said that would alert her to
anything she shouldn't know about.

"Hey Ty?" I said.

"Yeah?" he replied, giving me a funny look as I sat
down at the table.

"Gimme a colour."

He stared at me for far too long as I tried to act
unconcerned.

"Magenta," he said finally.

Mom looked at us both like we were crazy, and to an
extent we must have been. It could have been pure coincidence that
he picked that colour, sure, but it was highly unlikely. That's why
I'd picked magenta to begin with; it wasn't a colour I'd expect him
to pick randomly. If I needed further confirmation, the expression
on his face made it pretty clear he was thinking the exact same
thing I was thinking.

Obviously we couldn't discuss the issue too much
further with mom sitting right there, that would have been asking
for trouble even if we were subtle about it. In order to get out of
what I expected to be a fairly awkward meal, I grabbed some toast
and went back to my room instead of sitting at the table like
usual.

I decided that, even if it drove me crazy to wait all
day, it might be better to wait and talk to my brother during our
dream that night. Now that I knew it was actually him and not some
figment of my imagination, it made sense to take advantage of the
complete privacy we'd have. There was a reasonable chance yelling
might be involved.

****

"This is seriously fucked up," I said.

"Like you need to tell me," Tyler said.

We were standing a safe distance apart in the dream
room, neither of us really sure how to proceed.

"I can't believe you actually wanted to touch my
boobs," I said. "But I guess at least that makes you the perv and
not my own subconscious."

"Hey, you let me do it, don't put it all on me. We
both thought we were just having weird recurring dreams. I just
wanted to get something out of it is all."

"Uh huh, and how long exactly have you wanted to 'get
something' from me?"

"I swear, if I'd known it was you, I never would have
done that. You're my sister for fuck's sake. Do you even understand
how bad I feel about it now?"

"Not bad enough."

I was probably being too hard on him, honestly. He'd
just wanted some boobies, and I couldn't really blame him for that.
Deep down, I knew part of my anger was actually at myself for the
reactions I'd had to the situation, and I was purposefully
misdirecting it.

"Well, I'm sorry, okay?" Tyler said. "I promise I
won't do anything like that again."

"Whatever," I said.

We tried to ignore each other for a while, but there
really wasn't much to do and I soon got bored. It was a pretty sad
state of affairs when even my dreams bored me. That was usually
what school was for.

Tyler was lying on the bed, off in his own little
world I assumed. It was going to be up to me to reinitiate contact,
if only I knew how. I supposed I could just say I forgave him or
something, but it seemed such an unnatural thing to say to my
brother. I needed a less direct approach.

"You know, in some ways, it really wasn't all bad," I
said. Tyler looked at me warily. "I mean, that back rub was pretty
nice."

"You always did like those," he said.

"Mm-hm. And really, like, everything else wasn't a
big deal, right?"

"Could have been a lot worse," he agreed. "Does this
mean you're not mad at me?"

"Something like that. Less mad anyway." I approached
him and sat down cross-legged on a corner of the bed that wasn't
too close to where he lay. "Mostly I'm bored."

"Ah, of course."

"Seriously, you wanna just forget about it? Pretend
it never happened?"

"Yeah maybe that's best." He sat up and stretched.
"It'll be tricky though, your boobs felt amazing."

I glared at him out of principle, but I knew he was
only teasing. Just trying to get a rise out of me.

"Damn straight they're amazing," I said, instead of
getting angry again. I thrust my chest out a little more. "You're
lucky I let you touch them at all."

He shook his head and looked away. "Careful, you'll
tempt me into doing something stupid again."

"What makes you think I'd let you?"

For a moment I almost thought Tyler was going to try
something, just to prove he could. I was oddly disappointed when he
didn't.

"I told you already, I am legitimately stronger than
you," he said. "You know that as well as I do."

"Maybe you are, but I'm totally smarter and more
agile, so suck it."

Now I was baiting him, pure and simple. Not for the
first time I wondered what the hell was wrong with me.

"I'm not playing this game with you," he said. "It's
not going to end well."

"Chicken."

"Cut it out." He held up a menacing finger, which
only encouraged me.

"Bawk bawk. What ya gonna do, chiiiicken."

Tyler lunged at me, which I had fully been
anticipating and was therefore one step ahead of him. I was already
off the bed and dancing away before he came anywhere near me.

"Cut it out!" he repeated.

"Or what? You gonna whine some more?"

I dodged his next attempt to grab me and stuck my
tongue out while continuing to dance away. He'd probably succeed in
taking me down at some point, but until then I had every intention
of taunting him mercilessly. I knew it was stupid, and I knew my
reasons for getting him to chase me were stupider still, but I
couldn't help myself.

Tyler soon calmed down enough to realize he needed to
play smarter, years of living with me had taught him a few things,
even if he still hadn't learned all my tricks. Instead of wild
lunges, he switched to stalking me around the room and waiting for
an opening. It caused me to gradually let my guard down since he
wasn't coming after me with as much intensity.

I saw it coming too late when he reached out and
grabbed my wrist. I managed to twist away from him and start to get
away, but his other arm went around my waist and tugged me entirely
the wrong way, causing me to fall. The floor came up at my face far
too quickly for my liking.

Then I woke up. I was breathing heavily, almost like
I had actually just been running around instead of sleeping safely
in my bed. I swore under my breath and rolled over onto my other
side, trying to go right back to sleep but knowing it wouldn't
happen.

Much as I didn't want to admit it, I'd been hoping
Tyler would tackle me to the floor and pin me down again. He might
have done it too, if I hadn't been jolted awake. Fucking dreams
were messing with me more and more all the time.

****

It seemed every time Tyler and I saw each other the
next day we couldn't help sharing a secret look and a small,
hesitant smile. It reassured me that things were going to be okay,
weird as the situation might be. There was some kind of sexual
tension there, which was fucked up, but he was still my one and
only brother. It would take a much, much bigger problem to ever
ruin our relationship.

Probably it would have helped if either of us had
someone in our lives. A boyfriend, or girlfriend in my brother's
case, to keep us occupied might have prevented our minds from
seeking each other out. It was hard to say though, because I had no
idea what exactly was happening to us. Some kind of twin powers
activating maybe, if only that wasn't too 'Saturday morning
cartoon' for the real world.

I tried looking it up online at one point just to see
if maybe there was some plausible explanation, but nothing came of
that. I didn't even know where to start, other than typing in
things like 'shared dreams' and hoping for the best.

I found myself actually excited for bedtime that
night, partly because by unspoken agreement Tyler and I wouldn't
talk about our dream world while we were awake. Also, I was coming
to realize that I might be an even bigger perv than what I accused
my brother of being.