Authors: Veronica Melan
It seems that the deepest canyon, located to the east of Klendon-City, was much shallower than the gap that forcibly crippled my inner landscape, and instead of the overgrown flowers of hope and new timid joy, this gap seemed to be widening day by day.
Hulk, did you think it was a good idea to send me back here? Why couldn’t we wait for a while and think of something different? We could have talked about it at least...
But Hulk heard neither my thoughts, nor my words. He was somewhere far away - in the white mansion where the wind gently touches the light curtains. Where the sofa opposite the chair where he likes to sit, is always empty.
I shook my head, wiped off the cold droplets from my face and realised that I was completely frozen. Not looking around, I made my way to the house, walked through the entrance, got in the lift to take me up to the fifth floor, turned the key in the lock, as I had done many times before, and went into the quiet hallway.
Not a single sound, not a movement, nothing.
Only the raindrops rattling outside the window.
I took my wet raincoat off, put it on a hanger and went to the lounge. The sofa, the table, the shelf above the fireplace, with a porcelain hare and crystal vase - everything was still the same.
Not feeling anything at all, I approached the fireplace, picked up the black and white picture of smiling Alex from the shelf and threw it into the bin. It’s enough of it being there. That was not the face I was willing to see anymore.
In complete desolation, I sat down on the sofa, and suddenly realised that I didn’t have a single picture of Hulk. Only my memories had everything - his face, his laughter, his smell, his touches, his words... Even though there was no aging in the Cities as we know it, but somehow I felt more grown-up now. No, not grown-up, but old. I felt empty, lonely and strangely aged from everything that had happened to me over the past three months.
Just three months ago, I was mourning Alex, who deceived me so cruelly, and who, as it turned out, wasn’t worth a piece of a rotten egg, and as I got into Tally, I found the man I loved with all of my heart. Wasn’t that just twisted?
I suddenly thought about the bracelet - how many points did it have on it before it was taken away from me? I didn’t even look at it. I stopped looking at it after Hulk, from being the owner of the ranch, turned into the owner of my heart. After all it didn’t really matter how many points I had - in reality I wasn’t even supposed to gain any of them at all for something I never did.
A bag with my simple possessions - a few t-shirts, pair of jeans, couple of knickers and that little bag with the gems, was unpacked by the door. Should I just throw everything away, so it doesn’t remind me about those times?
My mind was producing heavy and gloomy thoughts. Pushing them away I was drowning in memories, in all of the situations that were now “past”. I also recalled Christopher Laroche, who had been now free for over three months. Where is he and what is he doing? Was he happy with buying his freedom from the Corporation?
Well, maybe yes.
Later, on the same evening as I was lying in bed, I began thinking that I have to come up with some plan and keep myself busy with something, because it was no longer possible to live like I have done for the past three days. I must stop searching for someone to blame for what went wrong. I didn’t feel happy because I was one of those lucky prisoners who got a chance to leave Tally, without even having to collect a thousand points, and therefore I must think of what to do next.
Before falling asleep, I thought that I still hadn’t visited my own boutique, which was strange and I also thought that somewhere in this city, there are Hulk’s friends here - the one with the knife and another one, who can chase people from a distance. Why didn’t I ask Hulk for his home address? Who knew that at that time my freedom was only one day away from me? If I’d been aware of that, I would’ve asked him about so many things, and would’ve tried to prepare myself for living here, if not physically, but mentally. And what’s the point in thinking about it all now?
Listening to the rain, I fell asleep.
*****
Hulk was exhausted.
It wasn’t because of the daily worries that needed to be resolved or because of training a new senior warden on how to deal with the rebels - a group of new prisoners were delivered at the ranch a day earlier. Nor was it because he was playing poker in the Polo till the early hours, emptying the pockets of his colleagues. What was the point of getting more money, when he’s already got so much that it would be enough for three luxury lives? Money was nothing in this city and the nearest place where he could spend some of it was behind the borderline which he couldn’t cross.
Hulk was exhausted because of Tally – once and for all.
Everything became different and suddenly unbearable: the air - too hot, the office - ignominious and the mansion - now empty.
Why is that only few days ago it felt so right to send her back? Back then he desperately wanted to present Shereen with freedom, give her a chance to wait for his return outside of “Area 33”, living a normal life. And now he felt like an immature youth, worrying about everything - was she alright? Because if she wasn’t, he couldn’t help her from here as he couldn’t ask any of his friends to do so.
Sheer prohibitions and pitfalls. Damn that Drake!
Beforehand, Hulk was trying to reconcile his position, hiding his anger inside and waiting patiently for the Commission to decide to revoke the punishment, but all he could do was sit around doing nothing.
Nothing felt right anymore.
The trained soldier from the Special Squad rested his fist on the door-post by the balcony, lowered his head and stood still, feeling the hot dry wind getting under the collar of his shirt.
He was so tired of it. He’s had enough of being the prisoner in this shithole. He was more patient being single, but after he’d found his soul mate, which he was separated from now, his patience had disappeared.
Uncontrollable anger was growing inside and it was dangerous. He must keep calm as long as possible in order to avoid making new mistakes.
Hulk vigorously hit the door-post with his fist.
Before, he was the person he’d always wanted to be - strong and confident - and he had everything. He knew how to find a solution to any problem, and now he was standing there, cooped up, if not in doors, but in a huge place that wasn’t even on any map, unable to return to the normal world and do what he loved. He was now barely breathing without the one he let go a few days ago.
Hulk slowly pushed away from the wall, walked over to the bar, poured a glass of whiskey and sat in the painfully irritating chair. It was better for her to be in Klendon City, where she could do whatever she liked, meet up with her friends, chat to them in a cafe, and go shopping. By giving her a credit card, he’s secured her future - the monthly transfers will allow her to live comfortably.
But he knew that curly devil... He knew her well enough to understand that despite all the luxuries in the world, Shereen will still be suffering alone and waiting for him. Perhaps, with her stubborn and restless personality that he loved so much, she’ll even try to plot something.
His grey, half shut eyes were staring at the horizon, while his brain was feverishly scrolling through the options of changing the current situation.
It wasn’t possible to call anyone - all telephone lines in Tally were blocked and there was no internet. Hulk could not make contact either with the guys or with the Commission, and even if he could... Drake was not a soft toy and stuffed with cotton wool. Most likely, the conversation with him would be short and unpleasant.
Should he escape from Tally? Break through the security guards and get out into the outer world? But what will happen next - fighting again?
Hulk grinned, realising that he wouldn’t mind stretching his hands a little. How much time will he have before Drake will make an appearance? Probably, not much. And no fight can help against the Commission. If he kills one of them - his death will be pretty much guaranteed. Nobody would be forgiven for things like that, Hulk knew that for certain.
Should he take a short trip to Klendon-city in one of his trucks in order to make sure that everything is alright with Shereen? But if they find out about his raid, the penalties will be toughened.
Hulk took a big gulp, put the glass on the table and rubbed his forehead wearily, still searching for some acceptable and not too risky options. He must find one; he just must, because it was harder and harder to sit still while worrying about Shereen’s safety. Yes, Klendon-city was quiet, suitable for leisure and for business, almost a "normal" city, but Hulk knew that there were no “normal” cities within the Levels. They were all dangerous.
The Commission had formed the Special Squad for a reason, members of which were well aware of all the hidden threats and, oh my, there were plenty of them.
Hulk felt irritated that the time he’d spend thinking didn’t pay back with any ideas that would be worth consideration. He’d pushed one option after another away, because all of them would endanger the only thing he wasn’t prepared to risk - his ability to be with Shereen.
She wants to see him healthy and alive, so he must curb his temper and work with his head. Well, it wouldn’t be the first time! But how exhausting it was to waste time with no result!
Fucking Commission. Fucking Tally.
Hulk walked over to the bar to splash some more whiskey into the glass, and swore out loud hoping that Drake, by some incomprehensible way, will be able to hear him.
*****
“How great! I can’t believe you are here!”
Usually moderate in expressing her emotions, Linda was hanging around my neck for almost half an hour now, glowing with joy and relief. We were in the staff room, which was located on the shop floor. There was some freshly brewed tea and three types of different biscuits on the bright chequered tablecloth. The girls had already run to the nearest supermarket desperate to celebrate my unexpected return.
“Your skin is so tanned! Fabulous!” My unusually talkative deputy was babbling on non-stop, “Everything is alright in the shop! Although we didn’t know for how long your unscheduled holiday would last, we did everything for the boutique to flourish. And you are a good girl! How many times did I tell you that you need to get some rest? You went through so much worrying and crying...”
Linda stumbled and rapidly changed the topic, thinking that any conversation about Alex was still painful for me.
“And, Shereen, we are really doing great now! Can you imagine, Jacques Laurent himself now orders the clothes from our shop and Divuee gave us an additional ten per cent discount!”
She was talking and talking and talking. I could understand her. Three months of my absence made Linda become more responsible and enterprising, forced her to invent her own ideas and make bold moves in the organisation and management of the business. I had to admit that she’d done really well and now, of course, hastened to share with me every significant and insignificant detail of her (in her opinion "our") success.
“All the paperwork, all the bookkeeping, and taxes - we took care of everything. I hired a new employee about a month and a half ago - you, of course, will decide whether you want to keep her or not, but I think she is doing great with our accounts...”
I was barely able to squeeze in a word into her monolog. While Linda was dumping all the details of sales and orders in recent months on me, I was silently munching on a strawberry flavoured biscuit, thinking if Hulk would like it? Probably, yes. Or, maybe, he was keen on chocolate? How little I still knew about him.
The flow of Linda’s words suddenly ended, and I realised that I missed a question.
“What?”
She smiled softly.
“You are still not yet fully here after your trip, huh? That’s ok. Soon you’ll be alright, I know you. I asked what kind of accessory you wore so there is a white strip around your wrist?”
I stopped chewing the biscuit and slowly looked at my hand, where for the last three months there was a tightly fastened bracelet.
“Yes, there was one trinket. This bracelet, quite wide and it had beads. It must be somewhere at home, I suppose,” I lied.
“Where did you enjoy the sun for so long?”