Duality (Cordelia Kelly #1): Empath Urban Fantasy (13 page)

A sudden thought popped into my head as she rose to leave. “Chrissie, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s your asshole ex-boyfriend’s name?” The sudden vicious need to have an outlet for my agony reared up.

She hesitated for a moment and looked around the shop as if checking to see if anyone was close enough to hear. Satisfied, she walked over to me, leaned in close, and whispered softly in my ear. “I can tell you now since he can’t hurt me or anyone else ever again. His name was Dixon Sharpe”.

Chrissie left me sitting there with my mouth gapped open. In a trance, I slowly began to obediently eat all my food and ponder the mysteries of the Universe. Under the circumstances, it was the least I could do.

The brisk night air wound around me like a thick wool coat, and the wind rustled the trees in chaotic directions, swirling the fallen leaves into mini tornados. The unseasonable weather bothered me a little. Was it a precursor?

Normally, Sol walked me home if we were out together, but I hadn’t seen him in six days. The longest we’d gone without speaking or seeing each other since we met. Okay, what an absurd thought given we’d met two weeks ago, and yet the lack of communication chapped my ass he hadn’t contacted me.

People milled around peering into store windows as summer bled into fall and the school year rolled back around. Parents lugged home bags full of clothes for their spoiled, ungrateful children, so they could shower them with fake love and attention.

“Fuck, I hate shopping.” Probably because I didn’t have anyone to buy trinkets for, except for Sol. I’d bought him a present yesterday, and the gift was safely tucked away in a small box under my pillow, and yes, I realized the placement was odd. Well, to normal people anyway.

I wanted his gift to absorb all my happiness and positive energy, to help light his way. He’d given me so much in such a short time; I wanted to repay his kindness in one of the only ways I knew how. I just hope he liked my present and didn’t think the token was stupid.

“Of course he’ll like your thoughtful gift. Don’t be silly, Cordelia.”

At least I wasn’t alone in my muttering. Many around me berated themselves under their breath. Good company walked up and down the sidewalks. I laughed, put my head down, and started home a little faster. The chill in the air ratcheted up a few notches, and the wind blew faster waves of sinister clouds.

“Cordelia.” My name slithered across time and reverberated in my skull.

I stopped walking and fear clamored up my spine. Someone called my name
—in my mind.
A discrete glance up and down the street showed no one who looked out of place. I took a second to get my bearings and listen to the wind while fastening my mental cloak up and around my head. There would be no psychic attacks on me tonight. I’d started to build the steel walls and harden my auric armor when a flash of red caught my eye across the street, and that’s when the stench hit me.

A foul odor seethed just below the surface. Currents of dark magic black as midnight licked the air and swirled around me the way killer bees attack. I’d been in its presence before, this nameless miasma of violence that hovers over all preternatural predators. Creatures who wield this type of dark magic are vigilant. They’re always waiting, primed and ready for the signal to lash out, to hurt—to kill anything or anyone unfortunate enough to get in their way.

I turned and watched, oddly fascinated by the ethereal creature stalking the night like she owned the world, her red dress billowing out behind her like blood blowing in the wind. She halted even with me, both of us on different sides of the street, but the air screamed at me to run. Run and don’t look back.

“Cordelia Kelly, I challenge you.”

What the fuck?

Her killer heels stepped off the pavement and into the road, her long legs flashing through the slits of her dress as she strode with purpose in my direction. I caught a flash of silver at her hands and noticed claws shining in the moonlight. My breath caught as I looked up into her face and saw the cherry red lips and wild, glowing blonde hair.

Her.

I stumbled back and tried to turn and run, but my feet slipped on the black ice. I went down hard on my tailbone, momentarily shocked.

She strode closer and her eyes spat sparks at me.

“What are you?” The question was out before I could tell myself to shut up and run from the crazy fucking bitch trying to kill me, and yes, she did want me dead. I had no idea why, but you didn’t unsheathe your claws, stalk your prey, and chase them down to have a conversation over tea and cookies.

“What do you want from me?” I asked with a little more force as my breathing steadied, and I rose to my feet, standing my ground.

“I want you dead.”

Well, at least she didn’t mince words. “Um, cool. But, ah, why?” I looked around for a weapon but didn’t see much that would prove useful.

The blonde laughed and little animals went scurrying away. Her laugh was the kind that made you shiver and the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention.

She lunged at me with her claws, but stopped inches short of skewering me. Her silken voice whispered words, and my feet planted in psychic concrete. Potent fear grabbed me by the throat. I was immobile. My body encased in a fine sheen of ice, except my face.

“You are a tiny little morsel, aren’t you? I see why he likes you. He does seem to have a certain taste…petite or slender frame with blonde or red hair. “

She mused aloud as she stalked around my frozen form, and I tracked her with my eyes frantically searching for a way out of the mess I’d somehow gotten myself into.

Should I keep her talking?

“Who are you talking about?” I asked through cracked and cold fish lips.

“He told me all about you, you know. Every little detail. The other night when he spent the night with me. Oh yes, girl,” she said at my shocked expression. “I know your secrets.” She sent me a sharp and damning smile. “And, I know the answer you’ve been searching for.”

Hurt struck my heart, and suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. My lungs tried to pump oxygen into my blood, but fissure cracks formed and the air seeped out through the holes.

She leaned close to my ear and whispered, “We’ve been close for so long, he and I. We generally keep our relationship quiet and don’t parade around the town together, but well, you know how he is. He enjoys his privacy, and I indulge him.”

He talked about me with her? No. I don’t believe he would jeopardize me. He wouldn’t. He said I could trust him. He made me trust him.

“He told me how your conversations meant a lot to him. How he thought you’d be in his life forever. How he enjoyed sharing and spending time with you.” She pressed a razor sharp claw under my eye and dragged the harsh nail down my cheek, just breaking the surface of my skin. Blood welled and oozed like slime; the slow slide reminded me of sap from a pine tree.

He told her all that? He. He—

I blacked out for a second as everything fell into place. I was a game—a sick game between two fucked up and crazy people. None of our connection was real. All of my emotions, all our conversations, all the ways he’d opened up to me and shared himself…none of our love meant anything.

Everything I’d shared with him, all of my memories and heartaches.

Oh, God.

My hands itched. My eyes burned and fat tears of rage leaked down my cheeks. Where my tears met ice, the ice melted and the water ran in hot rivers down my skin. I focused on melting the ice, so I’d be free and able to fight. I’d figure out how to control and harness my new powers later. Sol had tried to teach me, but I wasn’t proficient yet.

No. Don’t think about him. Fuck him.

She continued to talk circles around me, her hands in the air waving her joy at my pain. “He even told me about your grandmother.”

The stench of putrid burning rubber swirled around us as she circled me. The potency jarred my mind, and I planned my attack. Nobody had power over me. I owned myself. The only thing I could control in this situation was my reaction to her words.

My mind raced with options. Cold jeans were hard to maneuver in, and my coat was singed at the cuffs—but I’d fight. She finally faced me once more and having melted all her ice while she smugly paraded around me, I reared back and punched her square in the face.

She never saw my fist coming.

“Fuck you, bitch,” I spat at her. “You don’t know me.”

She teetered on her heels then righted herself and returned fire with a punch to my cheek that sent me reeling back twenty yards. I slammed into a dumpster, my whole back numb and my ass soaked. My fingers rested in slush, and I tried to scramble to my feet, but she was preternaturally fast. Her body flew through the air as she landed on my stomach, her knees on either side of my waist, pinning me down.

Her eyes lit up with blue flames and danced merrily in carnage. She whispered in a dark and hungry voice, “Game over.” Then suddenly, her claws punched through my chest and grabbed my heart in her evil hands.

Shock swiftly replaced any perceived pain, my blood spurting out all over the ground and coating her hands. She didn’t even seem to notice the blood. She stared into my eyes, watching my light drain with a delight reserved for young children or sociopaths.

“Do you know his real name?” I rasped on a shaky exhale of breath, probably one of the last I’d ever take. Tears ran from the corner of my eyes and met the wet pavement, mixing with the dirt, grime, and years of trash leakage. Fitting I’d die with the trash.

I’d always been treated like garbage anyway.

The sky above us thundered and cracked, the rain clouds coalescing with my emotional torrent. They rolled and spit lightening, but the more blood I lost the weaker the storm got.

“His name is Sol.” Her smile lit up her face, and the streetlights danced off her porcelain skin. For a second, her eyes took a faraway gaze before they zeroed back in on mine.

I smiled at her. Moving my face hurt, but I grinned anyway. At least I had one secret of his. “No, his real name is not Sol.” I averted my eyes and stared up at the remaining stars twinkling in the rolling cloud covered sky.

My heart hurt. My head hurt, but peace also floated through my blood. At least everything would be over now. “Tell me who killed my grandmother, if you know.”

The pain. The sorrow. The sadness. I’d never have to feel again. I looked up at her once more, using the last vestiges of my energy.

She looked down at me, and smiled cruelly. “No.”

“I’ve tasted your venom, and you better pray I die because you’ll never get a second chance at killing me.”

“Don’t worry, girl. This is the last breath you’ll take.”

I closed my eyes and whispered on the wind. Secretly hoping my words would find him. “My Sol. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough for you.”

Then her claws pierced my heart as she screamed in a tyrannical fury and a soothing ocean tide swept me up in its rumbling waves. Erasing me. Erasing my agony.

My name is Cordelia Kelly. At least, I think that’s my name. It’s hard to know who I am anymore. I lost my identity, and I’ve been floundering around ever since. I think I met someone. He was my best friend. But my head is fuzzy now.

I opened my eyes and blinked against the onslaught of sunlight filtering through the trees and sat up, glancing around, my eyes taking in the scene before me. The surreal world was unlike anything I’d ever seen before. I owl blinked a few times, trying to make sense of all the weird shit around me. Bright birds chirped; frogs, lizards, and snakes littered the ground.

I woke in a field of bleeding hearts. They were everywhere. The reddish pink flowers flowed down from deep green stems and covered the entire forest floor.

Where am I and how did I get here
? I gently shook my head, looked down, and noticed my state of attire.

“This wasn’t what I wore last night, was it?” I muttered while fingering the soft, dainty red dress encasing my slender frame. My mind balked at the obvious absurdity, and the left side of my brain asked if I’d finally cracked from all the pressure.             

“Shut up,” I said out loud, hoping the logical half of me would listen.

I stretched my arms and legs while looking to the left and right, wondering if I were dreaming. There just was no way any of this was real. Tall, thick, red oaks towered around me, while moss covered the entire dreamy forest floor. Straight ahead I could almost make out a pond or maybe a lake. The sound of running water came from somewhere, and the sudden dryness of my throat made me choke.

I stood up, my first instinct to quench my thirst.

I stared down at the patch of deep green, springy moss indented from my body and inhaled the scents from the myriad of bleeding heart bushes. The symbolism was not lost on me even in my confusion. The right side of my brain laughed, thinking this was just the wake up call I needed.

I’d been cold for so long. So alone.

I didn’t remember how to feel or express my own emotions. I’d bottled every fear, tear, and laugh and now there was nothing left of the woman I used to be. I hid in plain sight and only gave what people wanted to see. Maybe this was my subconscious way of jump-starting my inner mojo. But no, that wasn’t right.

Something happened.

A red dress billowing on the wind reminding me of blood droplets. Blonde hair. Hate.

Rage ignited my senses, and there was no way to contain the tidal force inside me.

An overwhelming urge had my feet moving toward what I hoped was clean water or perhaps my own salvation.

As I walked over fallen branches and around large fieldstone boulders, a cacophony of thoughts and memories assaulted me. The day I lost my best friend and my heart froze over, causing large cracks to form. The time I witnessed a man choking his wife, and I could do nothing because I was weak. The night I lost my virginity. So many nights spent crying, hours pondering life, fate, and destiny.

With each daunting step, the armor I’d always worn like a protective cloak unraveled, and my footing faltered. I slipped on the now wet ground and reached up to feel my cheeks wet with tears.

How is the ground wet?
I thought as I looked up into the canopy of trees.
There is no rain.

Then I remembered my gifts, how when I cried rain happened, just as the right side of my brain said, “You’re walking on your tears, dumbass.”

I stopped dead and consulted the left side of my brain then poked my temples while closing my eyes and concentrating.

Could this day be any weirder? I’m walking on my own tears and talking to my brain?
Even as the thought formed, I let loose a hysterical giggle. My mind raced with all the possibilities.

So much blood. All over the pavement. Lies, betrayal.

I sucked in a deep breath, dislodging the pain.

An attack? Claws glinting silver in the moonlight like a honed blade. A sinister laugh? Animals running. So many thoughts pulsed through my head, and I couldn’t grasp just one, just an innate feeling, a terrible ache and sadness, and such a heavy loss.

As I continued down the narrow path between the bushes, I began to sing. Singing calmed my nerves and anxiety—anxiety that had sprung from deep within my psyche. On some level, I knew what I experienced was real. I didn’t want to believe the strangeness, but weird shit had happened to me before.

In fact, weird shit happened to me all the time.

My palms clammed up, and my heart raced with questions. The nearer I walked to the water and the closer to the lake I got, the more scared I became.

Then I remembered why and stopped moving. Around me the dreamy world silenced.

She’d killed me.

I was dead.

★★
★

I cleared the bushes and the path opened up into a large clearing dominated by a fresh water pond. How I knew this, I had no idea, but I was nostalgic—like I’d been here before.

“I’ve missed you, Cordelia,” said a voice I’d know anywhere.

I spun and there she sat on a large boulder covered with moss. My grandmother. Her dark blonde hair spun and twisted into a bun on top of her head. A pretty floral sundress and heels.

“Gram? Gram!” I cried out in a surge of joy and ran to her. I scrambled up the rock and fell into her lap, a heaping pile of repressed emotions and tears. I frantically tried to wipe the tears, but she stopped me.

“You can cry, sweetie. Your tears nourish the earth in this special place. They welcome you with open arms. You will do no harm here.”

And so I let go and cried in my grandmother’s arms.

“He’s done a good job so far,” my gram said as she stroked my hair. “The tear is mending. Still, there is much to be done to make you whole again, sweetie.”

“What?”

“Sol. His dedication is admirable.”

“Gram? You’re not making sense to me right now. Could you explain?”

She chuckled and the sound of her laughter warmed my heart. “Cordelia, you have always been so impatient. I thought you would have grown out of that worrisome trait by now.”

“Gram, it’s a little tough to be patient when you wake up dead. I’m so confused.”

She sighed and said, “Very well. When you were little, do you remember Dominic and Jasper?

I nodded because even though my memories were fuzzy from so many years ago, I remember the two men who were always by her side.

“They were my advisors and best friends. They protected, guided, and loved me. You will find yours as well. In fact, you already have.”

“I have?”

She gave me
the look.
The look that said, “What are you, daft?”

Okay, so maybe I was being obstinate on purpose, but I was going to blame my muleness on the utter weirdness of this conversation.

“Sol,” I said. “Sol is my advisor?"

“Yes, my child. He will be all that to you and maybe…maybe more. Sol is unique in ways you will come to understand. He’s not perfect and he’s done things he regrets, but at heart he’s a good man. He took longer than I anticipated to reject his darker nature and seek his light. You, my child, are the goodness and joy he needs to light his path as he searches for his redemption.”

“How do you know all of this? How do you know Sol?” The swift jealousy that she might know more about him than I did shocked me. Maybe they’d associated back in the day. Maybe they’d known each other. Maybe she’d slept with him.

I gasped out loud.

She laughed. “Oh, Cordelia, you make me laugh. I miss that about you. I watch from here. I check in on you from time to time. The fates whispered in my ear, and so I kept an eye on Sol as well. But I feel him in you. I sense him all around you and in your soul. That is where most of my knowledge comes from.”

“So you didn’t associate with him when you were alive?” My face must have showed her something of what I was feeling or where my mind was because she flat out laughed hysterically. Complete with tears streaming down her face as she held her stomach.

Eventually, she calmed down and said, “I’m sorry. Oh thank you for making me happy, Cordelia. No, I didn’t ‘know’ Sol back in the day—as you say.”

My emotions calmed once more, and my ego was assuaged. Well, I didn’t know if it was my ego or not, but something about him and her together, and then him and me together made me feel like a reality television star. Thankfully, that bridge stood uncrossed.

I bit my lip to stifle the grin that wanted to spread across my face. The thought of me and Sol more than just friends made a hot flush spread from the tip of my nose to the center of my core. As the grin formed I pushed it aside, the sting of betrayal rearing to the forefront of my mind and heart. Ice cooled the flush and I regained control of my wayward thoughts.

Whew. I quickly decided I needed to change the subject. I didn’t want to get all pissed or gushy in front of my Gram, I could go either way at the moment. “What happened to me? Why am I here?”

She sighed and swore in French, her native language.

“You’re here because you are in between. You’re special, Cordelia, as you know. As empaths we exist on a different plane of existence than normal humans. You’re not dead, not yet, but you will be soon if he doesn’t hurry.”

“What? I am so confused.”

She patted my shoulder and said, “Just watch, Cordelia.” She waved an arm and an oval circled formed out of mist in front of us then solidified into a two-way mirror.

What the hell?
I saw myself covered with blood and sporting a gaping hole in my chest as I lay unmoving on the ground with that bitch crouched over me, licking her blood stained claws. Licking
my
blood.

Monster.

My hands clenched, and I reached out, shaking with rage.

“You can do nothing from here, Cordelia. You can only observe the events as they unfold.”

As I brooded on the boulder, Sol appeared above my prone form, and the night around him darkened with malice. His aura burst from him in a spectacular display of deep and rich colors, and he bellowed such a horrific sound all the lights lining the street shattered.

“What have you done!” he screamed and raised his arms to the sky then brought them down with such force the pavement beneath their feet cracked.

The blonde merely looked up at him, still licking her claws clean, and said, “I did what needed to be done. She needed to be put down before she could rise up.”

“You had no right. She is mine.
Mine
!” he roared and crouched by my head and moved his hands over my chest about an inch from my skin. “Stay with me, baby,” he whispered. "My-flame. Don't let go."

Tears formed in my eyes at his moving words, but I quickly stopped them from falling. I was unsure, scared, and lost. My trust waned.

Sol chanted in the language I didn’t understand and closed his eyes, tilting his head back and raising his hands to the sky. Mist moved along his skin, swirling faster and faster, gathering force and melding with the blacks and reds of his aura. A static ball of mystical energy formed between his hands, and he sent the glowing ball hurling at the gaping hole in my chest.

I screamed because the pain hit me hard. The magic surged into me and electrified all my nerves. Even here, in this place between life and death, his call moved me.

Strong arms banded around me, and the calming scent of honeysuckle eased my pain. “Stay strong, Cordelia. You can weather this. You need to accept his healing, even if the pain hurts.”

The tears I’d held back fell with each agony, and I begged them to cleanse me and steal the pain away.

As I stared at the mirror and watched Sol work on my body in the living realm, I trembled here now, and my body pulsed with shock waves. He leaned over me and softly pressed his lips to mine. When he drew back, a silver cord stretched between us, and he pumped something into me through the sliver of our soul bond.

I shuddered, both in this space and in the realm of the living.

Sol looked up, and his eyes blazed with a red wrath as he stared at the blonde sitting idly on the curb, cleaning her nails and fixing her dress.

Tendrils of grey smoke leaked up from the concrete and wrapped around her wrists as Sol whispered words of power beneath his breath.

“Pandora, who is your master?”

“You are, Sol,” she said on a breathy exhale of rhapsody. “You’re my master.” She let her head fall back as the grey mist twirled around her arms and slithered over her skin then solidified and yanked her wrists down.

Sol rose up, stepped over my body, and towered over Pandora. “Did I give you permission to hurt her? Did I give you permission to even touch or go near her? Speak.” The heat and menace his voice cast made me tremble.

“No, Sir.”

“How did you find her?”

Her chin rose and her eyes flared with blue light. “You’re not the only game in town anymore,
Sol
.”