Duality (Cordelia Kelly #1): Empath Urban Fantasy (9 page)

I wanted to relax and allow him to permeate my aura, but I remained locked in my own prison, unable or maybe unwilling, to let go and let him in.

He lifted my chin with his fingertip and lowered his mouth, softly pressing his warm lips to mine before opening fully and kissing me more deeply. The texture of his essence reminded me of heated butter, and he tasted of cinnamon. He pulled me tighter against him, both of us getting lost in each other. His fingers clutched my hair and his thick tongue dueled with mine, coaxing me, teasing me. His passion spoke to the long dormant longing I kept hidden inside.

Sol pulled away and rested his forehead against mine as we both breathed hard. I collapsed against him, my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

A slow warmth spread across my frigid skin, and I sank into the heat of him. Everywhere he touched me calidity followed in his wake. His hands rubbed large and small circles up and down my back, allaying the ache left behind by my tense posture.

The affection moved like honey, oozing down my nerves. One of his hands wove into my hair, and he massaged the back of my head.

“I know what you’re doing,” I mumbled into his chest. “Your seductive ministrations won’t work.”

“Hmm.” He laughed softly under his breath.

“You won’t find any weaknesses. My shields are impenetrable and locked down.”

“Okay,” he whispered close to my ear as he bent his head down and nuzzled me. “If you say so.”

He held me so tight that being surrounded by his scent and aura had me clutching him and trying to hold on to myself at the same time. His hands grasped my hair, and he pulled down. I tilted my head back so our gazes met.

The soothing color of deep amber snared my attention, and I was lost, suddenly sucked down into molasses quicksand.

“Please. Please let me go. Don’t do this,” I said as I struggled in his firm grasp. My shields were dissolving painstakingly slowly, but dissolving nonetheless.

The soul gaze hit me full force, and my knees buckled under the weight and knowledge that this man was older, wiser, and more powerful than I ever imagined.

“Please,” I whispered on a harsh and ragged breath. “My shields keep me from falling apart. I don’t want to fall apart.” I sagged from the pressure squeezing my mind, and my body went limp as he lowered us both to the floor.

For a moment his eyes cleared, and I thought he’d heard me. Or at the very least would respect my wishes. He held my face in his hands, his thumbs caressing my cheeks as he said, “I’ll catch you, Cordelia. Let me in, so you won’t be alone.”

Sandalwood and frankincense drifted on the air; the scents seemed to waft straight from Sol himself. Comforting and enticing.

“I don’t know how.”

“You have to trust me.”

“How can I trust you when I barely know you?” Even as the words left my lips, I knew them to be a lie. Sol and I were connected in ways neither of us fully understood. At least, I didn’t understand. “Why do you care, Sol?”

“Because in a different time and place, in another life,” he paused and inhaled before he blew out the breath, “our lives are tied together.”

His statement, given as fact, gave me pause. I relaxed in his arms and allowed his emotions to touch mine. To gauge his sincerity, but also because I wanted the peace he afforded me. I didn’t let my shields down, not yet, but I opened up a small hole for him to feel me too.

“How do you know, my Sol.”

He smiled at me, a broad and full smile with lots of pearly whites gleaming, and said, “Do you realize what you call me, Cordelia?”

I replayed my words in my head and gasped out loud.

He broke our locked gaze and hugged me tightly against his chest. “I’ll never force you to do something you aren’t ready for or really don’t want to do. But I wish you’d consider letting your guard down to me. I’ll keep you emotions safe, I promise.”

A strange sensation braided up through my veins and into my heart. I didn’t dare look too long, and instead pushed up and pressed my lips to his in a gentle promise.

“I need to lay down.”

He sighed and untangled our limbs, and I climbed out of his lap on unsteady legs. He stood and gently held my elbow as I walked towards my bedroom.

I crawled back into bed under the weight of my warm blankets and shivered uncontrollably. My teeth sounded like those little wind up toys that jumped around.

Sol removed his shirt, climbed over me, and placed himself behind me in my bed.

Sol was
in
my bed.

“What are you d-doing?”

“Be easy, Cordelia, and rest. I’m going to help warm you up. I am hopelessly affectionate that way.” Sol snaked his arm around my waist and tugged me back further, so our bodies pressed together. He rested his chin on my shoulder, and his body relaxed and sank into the magic of my wool mattress.

I, on the other hand, was still strung out and tense like a heroine addict. “How old are you, Sol?”

His amusement danced up my spine in waves of silky ribbons. “Old enough to know better, but too young to care.”

I smiled at his cryptic answer, somehow knowing he was being purposely evasive to calm me. “What is your first memory of?”

He inched closer and tightened his grip; the warmth he exuded soaked into my skin. He sighed into my hair and whispered, “My mother’s scent. Delicate and sweet with a raw undertone.”

“Where did you grow up?”

“Here and there.”

“I thought we said we’d be honest?”

He chuckled behind me. “I’ve lived the longest on the East Coast. I have also lived in California, Texas, Arizona, Florida, and Canada.”

“So, you like warm weather over cold weather, too? Actually, I’d love to live somewhere the sun shone and the temperature stayed at seventy.”

“Sounds nice.” His low voice sent shock waves through my nerves, and my heart picked up its pace. The scent of him consumed me, lulled me, and tempted me.

“Have you had many women?” I slammed my mouth shut and slapped my hand over my lips for good measure. My body tensed, prepared for war. Dear God, why the hell did I ask him such a weird question?

A rumbling shook the bed. Then Sol laughed in earnest. Somehow the sound warmed me even further than his touch alone could reach. The frequency he rode was tuned just for me, and I relished the unbridled closeness.

“Oh, Cordelia, you are priceless. I believe the line hails from a Ms. Francis Houseman, correct? Nobody puts Baby in the corner, being the most famous movie line?”

I giggled and relaxed in his arms once again.

“To answer, yes, I’ve been with many women over the course of my life. A few men as well. You’ve seen a bit from our soul gaze; you know how I’ve experimented and played.”

I nodded.

“How about you, hmm? Have you had many lovers over the course of your life?” He stroked my hair and ran a finger down the rim of my ear.

I closed my eyes and thought about each of the men who had graced my bed. Aside from a few one-night stands, I tended to shy away from casual encounters. I’d sown some wild oats, sure, in my youth, but found as I aged, I'd become more selective.

“I’ve had my share of suitors, though, I’m more picky now. Sex is just an itch to scratch, and my small trail of failed relationships proves I don't have the ability to connect with a human. All I've ever felt is loneliness after the physical is over. Do you have a current flame, Sol? Someone you’re exclusive with?”

He nodded behind me, then he brought his legs up, tucked them tightly behind mine, and whispered, “I do now. Go to sleep, baby.” He twined our fingers and then rested our hands over my heart.

Sleep claimed me, and, I drifted off wondering if he meant me, or someone else.

★★
★

My brain was in a fog as I pulled myself out of sleep. My body was sore and warm. Unfortunately, the heavy and fullness were not from sexscapades or the man asleep next to me, but from the erotic pheromones he produced.

Delia pressed her lacquered nails into my brain and wrested control of my consciousness from me.
We had needs
and she wanted those needs satisfied—now. I inhaled the potent mix of his scent and let the aroma settle in my bones as I crept out of bed, destination: unknown. I glanced at Sol sleeping in my bed, his face soft in sleep, the lines of worry and age all but disappeared as he slumbered peacefully. He seemed relaxed and I hated to disturb him.

The shower called to me, and after turning it on, I stepped into the moist air to clean off the remnants of my self-imposed pity party. I dried off, and dressed in dark jeans, a blue silk top with red lace bra. I snatched a pair of my favorite come-hither shoes and my keys then out the door I went.

Sol might be angry I took off without him, but oh, well. Something told me he wouldn’t have fucked me, and I needed to extinguish the flames he created when he invaded my shields. He unknowingly unleashed the desires I’d been trying to hide and keep at bay in his presence. I needed to be sated.

I strolled the dark streets with a cloud of melancholy at my back, and my legs cruised on autopilot. My brain and limbs seemed disconnected. My body required release and fulfillment, but my mind wanted the comfort of Sol’s arms and craved the warmth of my own bed. I almost turned around and went back home to ravish Sol whether he wanted me or not.

I warred as I walked, wondering if this was a good idea given my state of mind. Living in the city afforded certain pleasures. One of those pleasures was people milled around at all hours, day or night, and if I needed to find a partner, one could usually be found quickly.

A favorite upscale club of mine was around the corner from my house, and I found myself through the doors, at the bar, and ordering a drink before I registered exactly what I’d done.

Routine.

Drink in hand, I wound my way through the sea of sweaty bodies, and the moment I saw him I knew. His dark wavy hair and emerald green eyes snared me. His soul was pure, and his aura shone with a white silver light. He was the flame, and I was currently a moth.

I sauntered up to him in the smoky, crowded bar and whispered in his ear, “Come with me, and don’t ask questions.” My fingertips caressed his arm, and his deep, spicy scent held me rapt for a few seconds. I savored the cinnamon and allspice flavor. Then I turned and sashayed out of the bar, hoping he’d follow.

I needed him to follow. His light footsteps behind me tightened my core with every tread.

A karmic connection formed—from that one small touch and one shallow inhale, his essence clung to me. My redolence rolled from my skin as we strolled down the sidewalk towards my home, no words necessary. An electric river flowed between us, joined us together. He was mine this evening. Probably could be mine forever, should I wish it.

The toxic darkness burned inside, urging me to use this man. I sensed his eyes perusing my body. My blood heated, and my panties adhered to my pussy lips. I ached, craved, and needed release. I led him upstairs, unlocked my door, and turned to face him. For a brief moment, guilt rode thoughts on white wings that Sol might get angry, but as they formed were shot down by the black arrows of lust.

“Go lay on the couch,” I said with my voice low and seductive. His aura blazed with lust, his eyes glazed, and pupils dilated as he walked by, and I shut the door. The constrictive bra hurt my ribs, so I unclipped and removed the flimsy fabric then kicked off my shoes and unzipped my jeans with shaky fingers. The heavy material fell to the floor, and I crawled on my knees to the couch like a cat in heat.

“What’s your name?” I whispered as I lifted his shirt and licked his nipple.

“Zach,” he groaned with a rough, gravelly voice.

“Pleasure to meet you.”

I unzipped his jeans and lowered both them and his boxers over his hips, exposing his hard cock. He arched, sending his cock high in the air and toward my face. Zach was consumed by lust, emotions, and my scent.

“Please,” he whispered.

My hand surrounded his shaft as I pumped up and down, listening to him groan, and fighting the urge to mount and ride him hard, fast, and dirty. The silk of my shirt caressed my nipples, teasing me further. My hips rotated and swayed from side to side, my inner thighs rubbed my pulsing clit, and I moaned as I attempted to assuage the deep ache on my own.

The sweet taste of banana cream flowed down my throat as I inhaled the primal desires of lust.

A sharp crack sounded in the steamy, spinning room, and then a painful sting rent its way through my body. I turned my head, and there was Sol, kneeling behind my naked ass with his hand up and eyebrow raised.

“If you needed something, you could have asked,” he said in a smooth, even tone. I couldn’t tell if he was turned on, irritated, angry, or jealous. Maybe he was none of those things. I mean, who was I to him? And what did it matter who I screwed?

I tried to clear my throat on a hasty rebuttal, but my voice seemed lost, and suddenly, I deflated. A mess of emotions slid over my usually tough skin, and I started trembling. Then I realized I must have let my shields down when I’d fallen asleep, so sure Sol would keep me safe. The hazy spell I was under dissipated, leaving me bereft. The darker side retreated back into the holes of me, and I lay vulnerable and exposed to all the emotional energy around me.

I realized I’d felt safe with him, safe enough to sleep unprotected. But he’d let me go.

Whip-flash anger roared through me, causing my pulse to spike and my heart to hammer my chest like a pissed off construction worker hell bent on revenge.

“Why did you let me leave the house?” I whispered and collapsed onto the floor listening to Zach moan and thrash on my couch, wondering how I’d gotten to this point in my life. Wondering why all this was necessary. The cushions creaked and I briefly turned my head to look at Zach, his cock surging up as his hips lifted. His eyes closed and the strain on his face made my girlie parts tingle.