Duke Herheart Final (24 page)

“We can be together, you and I. I have funds and a small home and you are strong and capable. I also believe that Michael would accept you—me and you—if he believed you cherished me as much as he does.”

She felt triumphant. . He had been resisting her because he thought he had to. Now that she had spoken with Kathryn, she was sure he no longer needed to, but he did not even realize it. She had means even if Michael disowned her but with Kathryn’s intervention, she was sure that wouldn’t happen. Even so, she had a small house and Jem could work.

They could be very comfortable but if Michael chose to accept it, Jem could be a full member of society since no one would speak against the Duke of Asterleigh’s brother-in-law.

“I do cherish you as much as he does. More so, Cassandra. Can’t you see it? I watched you melt away for so long and I wanted to pull you out of it, outside, into the world of people and gardens and riding and so much more. Then she came and you bloomed and while I was afraid you might leave me behind, more than anything I wanted you to be whole again. It was all I wanted.”

“What do you want now?” she asked as she raised her hand to touch his check. He closed his eyes and turned his lips into her palm. She shuddered and it shattered the remaining shards of his control.

He leaned his head toward hers and his lips skirted her temple, moving with feather-light caresses down her cheek to her ear so he could whisper words that had haunted his dreams for so many months. “I want to possess you, to know that you know you are mine, as you have been in my heart. I want to love you, openly.”

“Love me, Jem. Now. Show me.” It was a breathless invitation.

* * * *

Kathryn had sat on the Dowager’s bed for more than an hour wondering about all that had happened today. She had left at dawn expecting to break away and this family had pulled her back to them.

That Cassandra was in love with Jem and right now trying to explore their mutual feelings was a pleasant surprise. That Michael might love her was a startling surprise. That she might be ready to turn her back on America, Alabama, even finding Christine, was a shock. She was not however totally surprised. She loved this family. They were loyal and true and they loved her. She was becoming central to their happiness, she believed. They needed her.

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If she was the Duchess, she would have enormous power, enough to see Jem and Cassandra married, maybe? It would take so much of her energy and most likely overcoming Michael’s objections would be their worst obstacle. Society would pale compared to him, her huge, imposing, possessive, predatory, arrogant beloved Duke.

She did love him. Making a life with Michael no longer seemed a pipe dream. It seemed imperative, vital… but she still needed, would have, his declaration of love for her, too, before
she agreed.

Ellie rushed up to her. “Ooh miss, I am so glad, so glad you are back. I was worried sick, I was.”

Kathryn reached for the ecstatic maid, clasping the young girl’s hands in hers. “I know you were Ellie. It was wrong of me to leave without telling you. I tried to last night but I didn’t want to be stopped.

You know I value you, don’t you?”

“Oh miss, yes, I know you had your reasons. I don’t want you to leave though. Are you staying?”

“For now. You know, he may not ask me again.”

“Ask you? Marriage you mean?”

“Yes. I refused him and it was very civil.”

Ellie pulled away and began straightening the articles on the vanity.

“I think he cares for you, miss.”

“Yes, he does. Now we will just have to see how much. Do you have a new dress for me?”

* * * *

Michael paced the back and forth in front of the fireplace, listening as the chime clock struck another hour. Kathryn had been in her room for almost two hours since she had been back and there had been not one word from her. Did she think to spite him more? He couldn’t stand this feeling, of being caged and harnessed, waiting, wondering what she was about. Growling low, he let the snarling rage and rampant fear find its home as he continued to move about the room punching the air, flexing his muscles, fighting an invisible foe.

“Michael?”

He hadn’t heard the door.

She stood just inside his study door in a gown, if it could be called that, of diaphanous gold gauze. It nestled low on her breasts, tightened at her waist and flowed in waves over her hips. It belonged in a boudoir, not a dinner table. “Kathryn.” His voice was pinched. He was staring at her breasts.

“I was wrong…about a lot of things,” she began.

He raised one sardonic eyebrow. “
You
are admitting to being 144

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wrong
?”

“Yes. If I apologize for everything all at once will you forgive me and take me to dinner and smile at me again?”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“Leaving without a word, turning you down, and not allowing myself to explore my feelings for you.”

“You are being daring Kathryn, telling me of feelings when I have told you not of mine,” Michael countered.

“You have shown me, remember? I learned from my mistakes. I believe you care for me more deeply than you are willing to admit in words.”

“You are presuming to know my mind without words?” He raised his brows.

“Your actions give you away,
mon Capitaine
,” she demurred.

“Parle francais?”

“Un peu. Only enough to say Je t’adore, Michel.”

“Moi aussi, ma belle. Moi aussi. Je ta’ime.”

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Chapter Sixteen

Michael had never felt such satisfaction as he did when he led Kathryn into dinner and seated her beside him at the table in that dress that was barely presentable. He wasn’t sure how he would react when Agatha and Cassandra arrived but he would manage, since he had the greatest prize at his right. Kathryn would surely be his now. She had declared herself, albeit in French. It was very nearly a perfect oath.

They had waited until well past the dinner gong for both ladies, he impatient to be sitting with her sharing a glass of wine. Extending his arm to the goddess in gold, he was still expecting to be joined any minute by breathless women rushing in. Somehow, he realized a bit late now that he thought about it that no one should have been expected. The other women in his household could be as managing as the best and occurred belatedly that they had made themselves scarce tonight for his and Kathryn’s reunion meal.

He put his hand over hers. “I am so glad you are here tonight, with me at this table, Kathryn. You cannot imagine how I felt when you were gone.”

“I can say I’m sorry again and maybe you’ll forgive me but you have to understand, I thought I was doing the right thing.”

He tilted his head, puzzled by her explanation. “Leaving me was the right thing?”

“Staying was not the right thing. Leaving you was an alternative.”

“You will never leave me again?”

Kathryn pulled away slightly. “That’s not fair.”

“Is it not fair to ask you not to put me through again what I have suffered today?”

“Suffered sounds rather dramatic coming from you.”

“No, it is true. You caused me no small amount of fear today. What would I have done if Julian had not caught you before you got on the coach?”

“Michael.” She placed her hand over his. “You would have gone on without me. You would have found someone else.”

He put his soup spoon on the saucer. “Kathryn, there is no one else.

No one. Promise me you will not leave me again.”

“I promise I will not leave you like I did this morning” She looked into his serious eyes.

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“A grudging and unsatisfactory admission, but I will not press.” He smiled then at her. “For now, I will enjoy watching you in that excuse for a gown with your artfully piled hair and rather generous expanse of bosom exposed and be contented that you are gracing my table.”

“If I didn’t know better, Captain, I’d say there was a batch of compliments in that pronouncement.”

“I have noticed my dear that none of the other members of my household have joined us for dinner. Is this something you have arranged or are they all artfully occupied of their own volition?”

“I believe the ladies of your household thought I should face you alone during dinner. I take it there was a bit of raging and bellowing today so that everyone is more than happy to let me alone stand in the path of your wrath.”

“Quite a speech. What other witticisms do you have planned for me?” His tone was sarcastic but somewhere in it, she knew he was determined not to act terribly angry with her. It might be a good sign.

Seducing him to her bed was going to be a challenge because of his injured male pride. Wanting him, though, was a strong incentive.

“I wasn’t trying to be ugly,” she said softly.

“No, maybe instead to spite me for my highhandedness, for dragging you back, for not listening to your protestations about your home and family… for choosing your clothes, for offering you a Dukedom…and oh yes, for
not loving you
! Have I covered it all, your list of my shortcomings?” His vehemence struck her like a blow and she shrank from the rage in his eyes and the stinging lashes of his words.

“That was totally uncalled for, Michael. Where did that come from?

I thought we had just made up a few minutes ago and now, now this.

You’re shouting at me like you’ve wanted to all along but didn’t because your friends were around. Is that it? You were playing the controlled Captain-Duke-Lord-of-the-manor roll for their benefit. Now that we’re alone, and I am compliant and sweet, maybe even groveling just a bit, then you start railing at me…”

“
Enough!”

“That is not enough. I am only just getting warmed up you arrogant, self-centered, egotistical…”

“Kathryn! Please stop.” He yelled her down because he saw it all coming out and he knew beyond doubt that if either of them said another word it would go beyond the repairable stage and she would run from him again and his still aching heart would cease to beat.

“Yes, that was uncalled for.” He sighed and spoke softly as he gently took hold of her wrist and absently massaged it with his thumb. “I 147

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have been high handed and arrogant and I am letting all the pent up fears and frustrations of today make me say and do things I don’t mean. So much more than anything, I want to just take you into my arms, pull the pins from your hair, drape it and your body over my chest, and hold you while your heart beats in time with mine.” He was not yet ready to tell her of the attempts on her life and how much those had heightened the anxiety for her safety while she was alone and vulnerable today.

Her gaze held both warmth and confusion. “How is it that you can yell at me one minute and say the most romantic thing the next?”

He held her gaze. “Because you vex me like no one ever has and because I was truly terrified of losing you and it was all swirling inside of me. I was not destined to be a Duke. I was destined for command and then for some other type of life. It’s an…adjustment to know exactly how to act and what to do and when you showed up and made my life better and my home warm and when you just fit, I was sure you knew it.

I did not think I would have to convince you.”

“I probably need a little more convincing but that was a very nice speech.”

* * * *

Taking her hand and looking into her hazel eyes, Michael willed himself to say the words that would make her believe he was right for her. “Kathryn Ragland, you are all of the things I never realized I was missing from life—warmth, vitality, compassion and you are the most desirable woman I have ever met. My body aches for yours with a need that is…indescribable. I want you to be my Duchess so that you can be all of those things for the rest of my life and so that we can be lovers …”

His words trailed off because he registered the mischievous gleam in her gorgeous eyes.

“We have never made love, Michael,” she said “Do you think we should before you make any life-altering decisions?”

“Are you offering a trial?”

“You can come to bed with me now.”

“Yes, I think I will. Go, I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

* * * *

While all the family had studiously avoided the dining room to allow them dinner together, no one had retired for the evening and the household was still fully alive. At any moment someone could come to Kathryn’s door. Ringing for and dispensing with Ellie would be a sure way to ensure the maid did not come back tonight or even in the morning before she was needed. “Ellie, can you help me get ready for bed? I am turning in early.”

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“Aye, miss, sure you’re tired after the day you’ve had. Would you like me to order a bath?”

“No, thank you, I think I’ll rinse off and apply some perfume and maybe wear one of the silky gowns that Cassandra gave me.”

“Oh yes, the light blue silk is the prettiest. You want me to do something special with your hair?” The gleam in her eye not lost on Kathryn. So Ellie was expecting there to be an assignation and she was helping. Kathryn bit back a smile. What a little stinker.

“That one is really pretty and you know, I’d like my hair brushed out and wavy, just ease out the pins and the curls.”

“Miss?”

“Yes, Ellie?”

“He will, I’m sure of it.”

“We’ll see won’t we?”

“Aye that we will.”

After tonight, he’ll have no choice
.

Ellie had been gone long enough for her to begin wondering if Michael had changed his mind when there was a light tap on the door. It eased open a fraction, revealing a lounging predatory gentlemen in his dark blue dressing gown and loose trousers. In the two weeks she had been here, Michael’s lovely dark hair had grown long enough to begin curling, giving him a rakish charm that made him look decidedly more approachable. She turned fully toward him and watched appreciation grow in his gaze. He surely liked her choice of night gown.