Dying to Be Me (20 page)

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Authors: Anita Moorjani

BOOK: Dying to Be Me
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Wayne then went on to tell me that he’d printed out my entire online NDE story, which is about 21 pages. He’d made about 40 copies and had been distributing them to everyone he knew. He’d shared it with his mother, and she’d drawn a lot of comfort from it. He also told me that he’d quoted me several times throughout his latest book,
Wishes Fulfilled.

All I could think was,
Is this really happening? Wayne Dyer quoted
me
throughout his latest book?

We then exchanged contact information, and Wayne told me that I was welcome to call him anytime.

I was filled with joy! I spent the next few days walking on air, unable to eat or sleep, with a constant feeling of butterflies in my chest. I’d felt that I was at the edge of something really big, and I knew this was going to be a challenging test of my ability to just hang tight and do nothing but be myself, enjoy the ride, and allow.

Over the next few weeks, I had many opportunities to speak with Wayne over the phone as we discussed the book and its direction, and he read me the beautiful Foreword he’d written, which brought me to tears once again. I’m a bit soft about these things—especially when seeing the vision from my NDE unfold before me.

During one of our conversations, Wayne told me that when he first read of my experience, he didn’t
ask
Hay House to locate me. He
told
them that they
must
find me, and if I was writing a book, that they
must
publish it!

As you can imagine, I was blown away by this revelation, and I asked how he came to learn of my experience. He told me that he’d heard of me through a woman named Mira Kelley who lives in New York, and he then introduced us via e-mail. Mira and I began corresponding and speaking on the phone, and she told me of all the incredible little events that had to take place at precisely the right time for Wayne to have had access to my NDE. He doesn’t surf online, nor does he enjoy spending any significant length of time on the computer reading long articles, so he wouldn’t have stumbled on my story by accident.

I’ll let Mira tell you the chain of events in her own words:

On January 11, 2011, I spoke with a friend who told me that Wayne Dyer was leading a group of people through Europe on a tour called “Experiencing the Miraculous.” My intuition anchored on the word
miraculous.
I knew that Wayne had leukemia, and hearing this word somehow caused me to understand that he was ready for a miracle.

I initially talked myself out of contacting Wayne, but the feeling that I needed to speak with him persisted and became even more compelling. I assured myself that if I’m meant to be a tool in the hands of God, I have to allow for the unfolding of whatever miracles need to take place. Several days later, I wrote Wayne a letter.

When he called me about a month later, I’d forgotten about the incident. We spoke briefly and were about to hang up when I interrupted Wayne’s good-bye. To my own surprise, I said that there was something I wanted to send him, something that he needed to read. Without a moment’s pause, he gave me a fax number.

That “something” was Anita’s NDE story, which had come to my inbox just the day before via a list of people who e-mail each other on spiritual topics. The person who sent the message pointed out the section of the story that spoke of all time existing simultaneously, which caught my eye because of my regression work; and reading Anita’s account made me feel that magical sense of locking into the true vibration of my spirit.

The moment Wayne and I hung up, that question
Why?
crept up again.
Why did I feel so compelled to share Anita’s story with Wayne?

The only explanation I could think of back then was that it described so perfectly what I believed in and what I could offer. Through sending him Anita’s story, I was saying: “I know you can be healed instantaneously. That possibility exists, and if you choose to know yourself as perfect health, I can assist you in creating that reality.” It would have taken a lot longer conversation for me to say what Anita so simply and eloquently put into words.

Now I see a second reason. I understand that I’m part of the process that seeks to bring Anita’s inspiring words to the entire planet. The timing was absolutely synchronous. Had that e-mail arrived any sooner, it wouldn’t have been at the forefront of my thoughts, and I wouldn’t have shared it with Wayne. Had it come later, it wouldn’t be receiving this enormous recognition. The synchronicity of this coming together so magically reminds us that everything happens at once, at the same timeless moment, just as Anita found during her NDE.

Wayne and I agreed to do a regression, and I flew out to Maui to meet with him. On April 15, when I went to Wayne’s home, he was on the phone. When he hung up, he told me that he was speaking with Hay House and that they would publish Anita’s book. His enthusiasm told me that he was ready for a miraculous event of his own. His session was profoundly powerful, and I share in his belief that he’s healed of leukemia.

I went back to the message that brought Anita’s story to me and found that it came from someone I didn’t know—Ozgian Zulchefil, an engineer who lives in Constanta, Romania. When I shared the awe-inspiring synchronicities that he was part of, he responded that he was glad and joyful that I took the time to tell him, even though he doesn’t remember where he found the account of Anita’s NDE. He said that this serves as a confirmation that we constantly affect one another by what we do and say, even if we aren’t aware of it. Therefore, he concluded, it’s “important to have a really good, positive attitude for every moment of your life even if you don’t see a reason for doing it in the first place.” I couldn’t help but smile.

Just a few days ago, I received an e-mail suggesting that I watch an inspiring interview with a woman named Anita Moorjani, who was miraculously healed of cancer following an NDE. A surge of excitement went through me as I recalled how Wayne and I had agreed that the two of us coming together allowed Anita’s powerful words of love to affect and uplift millions of people. Receiving that e-mail confirmed that the circle has been completed. Simultaneously, Anita’s words assisted in creating Wayne’s healing.

By allowing Spirit to move through me, I became a tool in the hands of God in ways I could have never imagined.

 

Mira’s story only reinforces that we’re all—every single one of us—unique, indispensable facets of the infinite universe. Each of us is an integral part of the greater unfolding tapestry that’s continually working toward healing the planet. Our only obligation is to always be true to ourselves and to allow.

As I look back on the trajectory of my life, it’s crystal clear that every step along my path—both before and after my NDE, both those events I saw as positive and those I perceived as negative—has ultimately been to my benefit and guided me to where I am today. What’s also very clear is that the universe
only
gives me what I’m ready for, and only
when
I’m ready. My trepidation about publicity slowed down the process, and when that anxiety was removed, I received the confirmation from the universe immediately through the Hay House e-mail.
I allow how much of what I want to come into my life…or not!

The book you’re reading is, from my perspective, just the latest proof of this. Had it not been for the environment I grew up in and the way I saw myself and reacted as I experienced all that transpired in my life, I might very well not have gotten cancer. Without the cancer, there wouldn’t have been an NDE, and that would have meant no special vision to share with the world. Were any of those steps eliminated, the outcome could very well have been different. While I strongly believe that it’s not necessary to reach the extreme state of an NDE in order to heal or have a great purpose in life, I can see that my personal path has led me to this point. Everything happens when we’re ready for it to happen.

I
’VE NOW WELL AND TRULY LEARNED THAT
when I become centered—when I realize my place at the heart of the universe and
feel
my magnificence and my connection to all that is—time and distance become irrelevant. If you’ve ever been in a deep sleep and involved in an intricate dream that culminates in the ringing of a doorbell or phone, and you suddenly awaken to find your doorbell or phone
actually
ringing, then you’ve experienced timelessness. Even though the device only started going off a few seconds prior to your waking up, it feels as though the entire drama of your dream revolved around that final moment.

This is what life becomes like when you truly realize that
you’re one with everything.
Time and space lose all significance. For example, I received the e-mail from Hay House at the exact moment that was appropriate for me, yet a whole drama was unfolding on Wayne Dyer’s side that culminated in me receiving the message!

I want to say, too, that after my NDE, things got a whole lot easier. I no longer feared death, cancer, accidents or any of the myriad things that used to concern me…except for expanding out into the greater world! I’ve learned to trust the wisdom of my infinite self. I know that I—along with everyone else—am a powerful, magnificent, unconditionally loved, and loving force.

This energy flows through me, surrounds me, and is indistinguishable from me. It is, in fact, who and what I truly am; trusting in it is simply trusting myself. Allowing it to guide me, protect me, and give me all that’s needed for my ultimate happiness and well-being happens simply by being myself. I need only be the magnificent love that I am and allow events and circumstances in my life to play out in the way that I
know
is always in my best long-term interest.

I detach myself from preconceived outcomes and trust that all is well. Being myself allows the wholeness of my unique magnificence to draw me in those directions most beneficial to me and to all others. This is really the only thing I have to do. And within that framework, everything that’s truly mine comes into my life effortlessly, in the most magical and unexpected ways imaginable, demonstrating every day the power and love of who I truly am.

 

PART III

 

WHAT I’VE COME TO UNDERSTAND

 

CHAPTER 15

 

Why I Got Sick…and Healed

 

During my NDE, I experienced so much clarity that the question I get asked most frequently when sharing my story is:
So, what caused your cancer?
It’s pretty understandable that most people are really interested in the answer!

But before I discuss this, I just want to put in a word of caution regarding the dangers inherent in this topic. One of the hazards is that what I say can come across sounding as though those who don’t recover or those who still have cancer and other illnesses are in some way “less than” those who have healed.
This is just not true!

It can also be frustrating if what I say sounds too simplistic, especially when you or someone you know is suffering. This is one of the first problems with language—sometimes words can cause more harm than good. I want to emphasize that anyone who still has cancer or who didn’t heal is a completely magnificent person. The reasons for their illness lie in their personal journey and are probably related to their individual purpose. I can now see that my disease was part of why I’m here, and whether I chose to live or die, I wouldn’t be any less magnificent.

I know there will be some who disagree with what I say about healing, which is perfectly fine. I’m only expressing what I felt happened within me at that time, in the hope that my words may help someone else.

A
S
I
SAID, THE MOST FREQUENT QUESTION
people ask me is why I think I got cancer. I can sum up the answer in one word:
fear.

What was I afraid of? Just about everything, including failing, being disliked, letting people down, and not being good enough. I also feared illness, cancer in particular, as well as the treatment for cancer. I was afraid of living, and I was terrified of dying.

Fear is very subtle, and it can creep up gradually without our even noticing it. Looking back, I see that most of us are taught from a very young age to be afraid, although I don’t believe we’re born this way.

One of the things I believe is that
we already are what we spend our lives trying to attain,
but we just don’t realize it! We come into this life knowing our magnificence. I don’t know why, but the world seems to erode it as we start to grow up.

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