DYING TO SURVIVE (Dark Erotica) (21 page)

“Well,” Meghan rotated her head from side to side and looked around her.

“I kind of feel a guilty pleasure about it. I smiled when I heard,” she whispered.

Ryan began to think of his father and the hatred he felt regarding what he had done to him as a child. Ryan was aware of all of his own shortcomings as an adult, and attributed all of his faults and idiosyncrasies to his father. Right or wrong, Ryan blamed his father for each and every concern he had with himself as an adult. As he sat and thought, he began to become uncomfortable. He rotated his right hand, looked at his index finger, and his hatred mounted.

“I often think of my father, and what relief I would feel if he died. Most victims of child abuse feel a tremendous relief when their abuser dies. Confrontation and death are the two largest means of the victim feeling closure. I try desperately not to hate, Meghan, but I will confide in you. I hate that man for what he did,” Ryan said as he leaned forward and picked his coffee cup from the table.

Meghan though of the lifetime she had spent feeling uneasy about her uncle. Her guilt, shame, concerns with exposure, and her desire for him to be punished. She considered how she felt now, and wished that Ryan could feel the same relief. For a fleeting moment, she considered what may change in Ryan if his father was dead. She expected Ryan would feel the same relief as she did.

Meghan glanced up at the clock, startled at the amount of time that had passed.

“This is so strange. We’ve been sitting here for an hour and a half talking like we’re old friends. Again, call me weird, but I like it. I’m going to have to go, I need to be at the school in just a little bit,” Meghan said as she looked down from the clock, and immediately back up again, once again confirming the time.

“So…” Ryan began to stand as he spoke.

Meghan did not feel threatened by Ryan in the least; and in fact, felt an odd comfort around him. Excited about he thought of Ryan becoming interested in her, their sexual interests being similar, and potentially having some sort of a sexual relationship with Ryan, Meghan interrupted Ryan as he spoke.

“Well, I’m thinking. I want to pick up Amanda, take her to my mother’s for the afternoon, and see you. What do you think about that? Is that possible?” Meghan asked excitedly as she stood from her chair.

“Certainly,” Ryan said, smiling.

Let me give you my phone number,” Ryan looked down at the table and back up at Meghan.

“And I’ll clean up this mess,” Ryan said.

And as he gave Meghan his phone number, he began to consider if he could truly clean up the potential mess that could be made of the bodies that were at the bottom of her uncle’s pond. As he watched Meghan walk to the door he wondered if it even mattered.

And he smiled.

CHAPTER TWENTY - FOUR

UNLEASHING THE BEAST.

TWENTY- FOUR.
Nervously, Ryan pulled his car into the driveway and turned off the engine. He leaned over and removed the single rose from the cup of water that he obtained from the coffee shop. As he reached for the door handle, he drew a slow breath through his nose. He then opened the door, stepped from the car, looked up the sidewalk toward the porch, and exhaled.

Ryan slowly walked to the porch. With each step came wonder of the unknown. His apprehension had grown with each passing minute as the afternoon progressed. Part of him wanted for what may develop between him and Meghan to flourish. By and large, however, he knew that it never could or would.

As he stepped in front of the front door, he leaned forward and pressed the doorbell button. As he waited, he inhaled a slow breath through his nose.

“I chose it for the symmetry and color,” Ryan said as Meghan opened the door.

Dressed in a light blue sun dress and flat sandals, Meghan stood in the doorway. Her hair pulled back in a ponytail, she looked considerably different than she had at the coffee shop. Ryan shifted his gaze from her face to her feet and back up to make eye contact with her as he held the rose at arm’s length.

“It’s beautiful, thank you,” Meghan smiled and accepted the rose as she stepped aside, making room for Ryan to enter.

Ryan nodded and smiled.

“My daughter’s at my mother’s for the week. Just so you know,” Meghan offered as Ryan stepped into the house

As Ryan entered the hallway, Meghan began to walk toward the living room. Naturally, Ryan followed, observing the contents of the home as he did, admiring the simplicity of the Meghan’s choice of decoration. As Meghan stepped in front of the couch, turned and sat down, Ryan stood and stared - uncertain of where he should sit.

“Sit in the chair if it makes you feel more comfortable,” Meghan said as she leaned into the cushion of the couch and smelled the rose.

Attempting to act comfortable, but feeling quite awkward, Ryan lowered himself into the chair at the corner of the living room, facing the couch.

“So, it’s three o’ clock now. It will be dinner time soon. Would you like to eat together this evening?” Ryan asked as he settled into the chair.

“Maybe. I mean if you really want to. Or I can make something here if we get hungry,” Meghan responded as she stood.

As Meghan stood, Ryan pressed his hands into the arms of the chair and began to stand.

“No, stay comfortable. I’m just going to take this to the kitchen and put in in a vase of water. I’ll be right back. Would you like something to drink?” Meghan asked.

“No thank you,” Ryan shook his head as he responded.

As Meghan turned and stepped from the room, Ryan admired her physical features and the fit of her dress. As she walked away from him, he watched the shape of her butt rise and fall through the rear of her dress with each step. The anticipation of something developing sexually between them began to arouse him as she disappeared into the kitchen.

Sitting in the chair waiting, Ryan began to recall what he had seen on-line regarding BDSM type scenes. Although he had not physically been with a woman, he had experience at watching the sexual acts between men and women, his focus being BDSM, bondage, and forceful sexual acts. As his mind began to think of Meghan, sex, and his involvement, he became more aroused and less aware of his surroundings.

“I brought you a bottle of water,” Meghan said walked back into the room.

Startled, Ryan sat up in his chair and began to cross his legs. As he attempted to cross his left leg over his right, he realized he had reached full erection. Immediately, he uncrossed his legs and pressed his knees together. The boxer shorts and slacks he wore provided little if any support for hiding the fact that he was excited, erect, and emotionally ready. Nervously, he looked up at Meghan.

“I uhmm. Well. Uhmm. Thank you,” Ryan stammered as Meghan placed the bottle of water on the table beside Ryan’s chair.

“Are you alright?” Meghan asked as she turned to focus on Ryan.

Meghan, feeling some sorrow for what she believed to be Ryan’s uneasy and somewhat nervous nature, noticed his erection as she turned to face him. She considered sitting on the couch, and instead, knelt on the floor beside the front of the chair.

“So, what do you think could develop between us,” Meghan asked quietly as she twisted the lid from her bottle of water.

Nervous, Ryan sat forward in his chair, felt immediate discomfort from his erection, and relaxed back into the rear of the seat. As he slumped into the seat, he glanced at his crotch, which now pointed straight up.

“I suppose,” Ryan paused as he turned to remove his bottle of water from the table.

“That anything is possible. If what you said at the coffee shop was accurate.”

“Quite. Actually, I don’t think I can emphasize it enough. I’m attracted to you. In some weird, sick probably borderline insane way, I feel I can be in a relationship with you without much effort at all,” Meghan raised her eyebrows in wait as she tipped the bottle of water to her lips and took a slow drink.

“Why do you say in an insane, sick way? What do you mean?” Ryan asked as he opened his water bottle and placed the lid on the table.

“Well, you kidnapped me, threatened me with murder, involved me in some weird assed conspiracy, and had me kill someone to prove to you I wasn’t going to go to the law about all of it. And I want to be with you. You’re the Psychiatrist, tell me if that’s normal” she smiled and pressed the bottle between her legs, purposely raising the bottom of her dress up her thighs.

“Psychologist, and no. I suppose it’s not. How we feel is how we feel. Changing it is often impossible. Figuring it out, at times, is almost as difficult,” Ryan said as he glanced down at Meghan’s legs.

“So, you’ve never been with a woman? No sex, no head, no making out?” as Meghan spoke, Ryan shook his head.

“Anything?” Kissing?” she asked.

Somewhat embarrassed, Ryan shook his head and tipped the bottle to his mouth. As he drank from the bottle, Meghan leaned forward. The neck of her dress opened as she did, revealing the top of her bra. As Ryan swallowed, he stared. As he attempted to shift his gaze and cross his legs, he realized his erection had become rather uncomfortable.

Meghan, sitting on the floor at the corner of the chair, shifted her weight to the other side of her butt, and pulled her feet to meet her upper thighs. As she did, she purposely pulled her dress a little higher on her thigh, revealing more of her tanned legs for Ryan to view.

“Can I speak freely?” Meghan asked as she shifted her weight and leaned her upper body toward the chair.

Ryan, still nervously holding the water bottle close to his mouth and staring, nodded.

“I want to suck your cock. I want to do that for you. I think it will loosen you up. Let me suck your cock,” Meghan scooted across the floor, inching her way closer to the chair as she spoke.

“I uhhm. I hadn’t really planned on us starting anything quite this early. We, uhhm. We barely know each other,” Ryan stuttered as he shifted his weight in the seat away from Meghan.

“You kidnapped me, held me captive, and made me murder a woman I barely knew. Let me suck your cock, we’ll call it even,” Meghan chuckled.

Ryan felt both uneasy and relieved that Meghan was comfortable laughing about the events that led to this. Her ability to joke about the murder could simply be her denial that the event happened; or she could, in his professional opinion, be consciously repressing the memory. As he struggled with thoughts of Meghan’s placement of the memories, Meghan reached into his lap and toward his belt.

“I, uhhm,” Ryan shifted in his seat as Meghan reached for his belt.

“Shhhh,” Meghan looked up into his eyes and smiled.

Ryan, although anxious, began to feel more comfortable as Meghan unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. Eagerly, he watched as her hand reached into his pants, through his boxers, and wrapped around his erection. As she pulled the tip of his cock upward, he flinched.

“Sorry, it’s hard to get it out of your boxers. It’s hard as a rock,” Meghan smiled.

“Your hands. They’re cold,” Ryan sighed as he pressed his back into the rear seat cushion.

“Oh God. You have a gorgeous cock,” Meghan’s eyes widened as her fingers wrapped around Ryan’s stiff cock.

Meghan, her eyes fixed on Ryan’s hard cock, raised her butt from the floor, and knelt at the edge of the chair on her knees. She watched intently as Ryan’s eyes followed her every movement. She reached with her left hand and grabbed her ponytail, flipping it over her left shoulder.

“Grab my hair in your hand,” Meghan said as she nodded her head.

Without speaking, Ryan reached for her ponytail, and held it tightly in his right hand. His hand gripped the ponytail at the base of her skull. As he watched Meghan extend her tongue and lick the tip of his cock, he shivered.

“Does that feel good?” Meghan asked as she looked up into Ryan’s eyes.

As Ryan watched, he immediately began to feel more comfortable with Meghan, her desires, and his own desires. Attempting to recall everything he had witnessed in internet streaming videos, his mind began to become jumbled with practices, positions, and what to possibly say. As he drew a slow breath in through his mouth, he sat up in the chair and rolled his shoulders.

Meghan’s gaze shifted from Ryan’s cock to his eyes as she sat forward and began to wrap her lips around the tip of Ryan’s cock. As her mouth encompassed the head fully, she closed her eyes and slid her lips half way down the shaft of his cock.

As Ryan’s cock filled her mouth, Meghan’s mind began to wander to thoughts of Ryan fucking her pussy, pounding her hard from behind. It had been years since she had had sex with anyone, and she was now well beyond the state of arousal. As her mouth slid up the shaft, she opened her eyes and glanced up at Ryan’s face. As she shifted her knees, she felt her juices dripping onto her thighs. Her thoughts shifted to Ryan fucking her as she closed her eyes softly and began to slide her mouth down the thick shaft of Ryan’s cock.

As Meghan’s mouth worked its way up and down the shaft of Ryan’s cock, she felt him began to rise from the seat. As she opened her eyes, she saw him shift his weight in the seat and brace himself to stand. As his legs straightened, she straightened her legs, and stood straight up on her knees.

“Open your mouth wide, Meghan,” Ryan demanded as he stood.

As Ryan stood, his pants fell to his ankles. He pressed his palms against the waistband of his boxers, pressing them along his thighs. Meghan slid her mouth from his cock, and looked up into Ryan’s eyes, confused.

“Open your mouth, Meghan,” Ryan demanded as his hands encompassed Meghan’s cheeks.

As he slid his fingers under her chin, Meghan looked up into Ryan’s eyes, her lips pursed lightly.