Early Irish Myths and Sagas (28 page)

Bricriu, meanwhile, began to think how he might incite the Ulaid once he had given them their hostages; and when he had given the matter considerable thought, he went to Lóegure Búadach son of Connad son of Iliu. ‘Well met, Lóegure Búadach,’ he said, ‘mighty blow of Brega, seething blow of Mide, bearer of red flame, victor over the youth of Ulaid! Why should you not always have the champion’s portion at Emuin?’ ‘Indeed, it is mine if I want it,’ said Lóegure. ‘I will make you king over all the warriors of Ériu if you follow my advice,’ said Bricriu. ‘Then I will follow it,’ said Lóegure. ‘Once the champion’s portion is yours at my house,’ Bricriu continued, ‘it will be yours at Emuin for ever. And the champion’s portion at my house will be worth contesting, for it is not the portion of a fool. I have a cauldron that would hold three of the warriors of Ulaid, and it has been filled with undiluted wine. I have a seven-year-old boar that since it was a piglet has eaten nothing but gruel and meal and fresh milk in spring, curds and sweet milk in summer, nuts and wheat in autumn and meat and broth in winter. I have a lordly cow that is also seven years old, and, since it was a calf, it has eaten nothing but heather and twigs and fresh milk and herbs and meadow grass and corn. I have one hundred wheat cakes cooked in honey; twenty-five bushels of wheat were
brought for these cakes, so that each bushel made just four cakes. That is what the champion’s portion is like at my house. Since you are the best warrior in Ulaid, it is yours by right, and I intend that you should have it. Once the feast has been set out, at the end of the day, have your charioteer rise, and the champion’s portion will be given to him.’ ‘Indeed, it will,’ said Lóegure, ‘or blood will flow.’ Bricriu laughed at that and was content.

When he had finished with Lóegure Búadach, Bricriu went to the host of Conall Cernach. ‘Well met, Conall,’ he began, ‘for you are a warrior of combats and victories – already you have earned great triumphs over the youths of Ulaid. When the Ulaid venture out to the borders of enemy lands, you are three days and three nights ahead of them in crossing fords; and, when they return, you protect their rear – no enemy slips past them or through them or round them. Is there any reason why you should not have the champion’s portion at Emuin Machae for ever?’ If Bricriu was treacherous in dealing with Lóegure, he was twice as deceitful when he spoke with Conall. And after he had induced Conall to agree with him, he went to the host of Cú Chulaind. ‘Well met, Cú Chulaind,’ he began, ‘battle victor of Brega, bright flag of the Life, darling of Emuin, sweetheart of the women and the young girls. Today, Cú Chulaind is no nickname, for you are the great boaster of Ulaid. You defend us from great onslaughts and attacks, you seek the rights of everyone in Ulaid, and where everyone else attempts, you succeed. All Ériu acknowledges your bravery and valour and high deeds. Why, then, should you leave the champion’s portion to anyone else in Ulaid when there is not a man in Ériu capable of meeting you in combat?’ ‘Indeed! I swear by what my people swear by,’ said Cú Chulaind, ‘the man who comes to fight me will be a man without a head!’ After that, Bricriu left the three heroes and
mingled with the hosts as if he had done no mischief at all.

The Ulaid arrived at Bricriu’s house, and each man settled into his apartment in the royal dwelling, king and prince and chieftain and young lord and young warrior. On one side of the house, the heroes of Ulaid gathered round Conchubur, while, on the other side, the women of Ulaid assembled round Conchubur’s wife, Mugain daughter of Echu Feidlech. The heroes who gathered round Conchubur in the front of the house included Fergus son of Roech, Celtchair son of Uthechar, Éogan son of Durthacht, the king’s two sons Fíachu and Fíachach, Fergnae son of Findchóem, Fergus son of Léti, Cúscraid Mend Machae son of Conchubur, Senchae son of Ailill, Fíachu’s three sons Rus and Dáre and Imchad, Muinremur son of Gerrgend, Errge Echbél, Amorgen son of Ecet, Mend son of Salchad, Dubthach Dóeltenga, Feradach Find Fechtnach, Fedilmid Chilair Chétach, Furbude Fer Bend, Rochad son of Fathemon, Lóegure Búadach, Conall Cernach, Cú Chulaind, Connad son of Mornae, Erc son of Fedilmid, Illand son of Fergus, Findtan son of Níall, Cethernd son of Findtan, Fachtna son of Senchad, Condlae Sáeb, Ailill Miltenga, Bricriu himself and the choicest warriors of Ulaid, together with the youths and the entertainers.

The musicians and the players performed while the feast was being set out, and when everything was in place, Bricriu was ordered to leave the house, as a consequence of the hostages he had given. The hostages rose, naked swords in hand, to expel Bricriu from the house, and so he left, with his household, and repaired to the bower. But, as he was about to leave the royal house, he said to the gathering ‘Yonder you see the champion’s portion, and it is no portion from the house of a fool; therefore, let it be given to the best warrior in Ulaid.’ With that, he left.

Thereupon, the servers rose to do their work, and there rose also the charioteer of Lóegure Búadach, Sedlang son
of Ríangabur, and he said to the distributors ‘Bring that champion’s portion over here, to Lóegure Búadach, for he is the most deserving of it in Ulaid.’ Id son of Ríangabur, Conall Cernach’s charioteer, rose and said the same about Conall. And Lóeg son of Ríangabur, Cú Chulaind’s charioteer, said to the distributors ‘Bring the champion’s portion to Cú Chulaind – no shame for the Ulaid to give it to him, for he is the most accomplished warrior here.’ ‘Not true that,’ said Lóegure Búadach and Conall Cernach, and, at that, the three heroes rose out into the middle of the house with their spears and swords and shields; and they so slashed at each other that half the house was a fire of swords and glittering spear edges, while the other half was a pure-white bird flock of shield enamel. A great alarm went up in the royal house, and the valiant warriors of Ulaid trembled; Conchubur and Fergus son of Roech were furious at seeing the unfair and unconscionable attack of two against one, Lóegure and Conall attacking Cú Chulaind. Not a man of the Ulaid dared separate them, however, until Senchae said to Conchubur ‘Part the men’, for Senchae was the earthly god among the Ulaid in the time of Conchubur.

Conchubur and Fergus stepped between the combatants, then, and the men at once dropped their hands to their sides. ‘Let my will prevail,’ said Senchae. ‘We agree,’ said the men. ‘It is my will,’ said Senchae, ‘that the champion’s portion be divided among the host tonight and that tomorrow the dispute be submitted to Ailill son of Mégu, since it is bad luck for the Ulaid to settle an argument without a judgement from Crúachu.’ The food and drink were shared out, then, and everyone formed a circle round the fire, and the assembly grew drunken and merry.

Bricriu, meanwhile, was in his bower with his queen, and he could see from his couch how matters stood in the
royal house. He pondered how he might incite the women as he had incited the men, and, just as he finished his meditation, Fedelm Noíchride and her fifty women emerged from the royal house after some heavy drinking. Bricriu perceived her going past and said ‘Well met tonight, wife of Lóegure Búadach! Fedelm Noíchride is not just a nickname, not considering your form and your intelligence and your lineage. Conchubur, a provincial king of Ériu, is your father, Lóegure Búadach is your husband, and it would hardly be to your honour if any woman of Ulaid were to precede you into the Tech Midchúarta – rather, the women of all Ulaid should follow upon your heel. If you enter the house first tonight, you will always be first among the women of Ulaid.’ Thereupon Fedelm went out to the third ridge from the house.

After that, Lendabair, the daughter of Éogan son of Durthacht and the wife of Conall Cernach, came out. Bricriu accosted her and said ‘Well met, Lendabair! No nickname yours, for you are the centre of attention and the sweetheart of the men of all the world, and that by reason of your beauty and your fame. As your husband outdoes the men of the world in weaponry and in appearance, so you outdo the women of Ulaid.’ As deceitful as he had been in talking to Fedelm, he was twice as deceitful in dealing with Lendabair.

After that, Emer came out with her fifty women, and Bricriu greeted her, saying ‘Your health, Emer, daughter of Forgall Manach and wife of the best man in Ériu. Emer Foltchain is no nickname, either, for the kings and princes of Ériu glitter round you. As the sun outshines the stars of the sky, so you outshine the women of the entire world, and that by reason of your shape and form and lineage, your youth and beauty and fame and your intelligence and discernment and eloquence.’ Although he had been very
deceitful in dealing with the other two women, Bricriu was thrice as deceitful in dealing with Emer.

All three companies of women then went out to the same spot, the third ridge from the house, and no wife knew that the other two had been incited by Bricriu. And all three women set out for the house. At the first ridge, the procession was steady and stately and measured – one foot was scarcely lifted above the other. At the second ridge, however, the steps became shorter and quicker. By the third ridge, the women were striving to keep up with each other, and they all raised their skirts to their hips, for Bricriu had told each woman that she who entered the house first would be queen over the entire province. The tumult that arose from their striving was like the tumult from the arrival of fifty chariots; it so shook the house that the warriors inside sprang for their weapons and tried to kill each other. But Senchae said ‘Wait I This is not the arrival of enemies – rather, Bricriu has incited the women outside to strife. I swear by what my people swear by, if he is not expelled from the house, the dead will outnumber the living.’ At that, the doorkeepers closed the door. Emer daughter of Forgall Manach reached the door first, by reason of her speed, and she put her back against the door and entreated the doorkeepers to open it before the other women arrived. Thereupon the men inside rose, each meaning to open the door for his own wife so that she might be the first to enter. ‘An evil night,’ said Conchubur, and he struck the silver sceptre in his hand against the bronze pillar of his couch, and the host sat down. Senchae said ‘Wait! Not a war of weapons this, but a war of words.’

With that, each woman drew back from the door, under the protection of her husband, and there began a war of words among the women of Ulaid. Upon hearing the praises
of their wives, Lóegure and Conall sprang up into the warrior’s moon; each of them broke off a pole as tall as himself from the house, and that way Fedelm and Lendabair were able to enter. Cú Chulaind, however, lifted the side of the house opposite his apartment so high that the stars were visible beneath the wall; Emer was thus able to enter with her fifty women and the fifty women of each of the other two wives. He then set the house back down; seven feet of panelling sank into the ground, and the fort shook so much that Bricriu’s bower fell, and Bricriu and his wife were thrown on to the garbage heap in the courtyard, among the dogs.

‘Alas I Enemies are attacking the fort,’ said Bricriu, and he rose quickly and looked at his house, and it seemed to have been destroyed, for one side had fallen down. He beat on the door, then, and the Ulaid let him in, for he was so besmirched that they did not recognize him until he began to speak. He stood in the middle of the house and said ‘Unlucky this feast that I have prepared for you, men of Ulaid. My house is dearer to me than all my possessions, and there is a geiss against your eating or sleeping until you leave it just as you found it when you arrived.’

Thereupon all the warriors of Ulaid rose and tried to restore the house, but they could not even raise it high enough for the wind to pass underneath. This was a problem for the Ulaid. Senchae said ‘I can only advise you to ask the man who made the house lopsided to set it straight.’ The Ulaid then asked Cú Chulaind to put the house to rights, and Bricriu said ‘King of the warriors of Ériu, if you cannot restore the house, no one in the world can.’ All the Ulaid entreated Cú Chulaind to help them, and he rose up so that the feasters would not have to go without food and drink. He attempted to straighten the house, and he failed. Then his ríastarthae came over him: a drop of
blood appeared at the tip of each hair, and he drew his hair into his head, so that, from above, his jet black locks appeared to have been cropped with scissors; he turned like a mill wheel, and he stretched himself out until a warrior’s foot could fit between each pair of ribs. His power and energy returned to him, and he lifted the house and reset it so that it was as straight as it had been before.

After that, they had a pleasant time enjoying the feast. On one side of the illustrious Conchubur, the glorious high king of maid, gathered the kings and chiefs, and on the other side were the queens: Mugain Attencháithrech daughter of Echu Feidlech and wife of Conchubur son of Ness, Fedelm Noíchride daughter of Conchubur (nine forms she displayed, and each was lovelier than the last), Fedelm Foltchaín (Conchubur’s other daughter and the wife of Lóegure Búadach), Findbec daughter of Echu and wife of Cethernd son of Findtan, Brig Brethach wife of Celtchair son of Uthechar, Findige daughter of Echu and wife of Éogan son of Durthacht, Findchóem daughter of Cathub and wife of Amorgen Íarngiunnach, Derborcaill wife of Lugaid Réoderg son of the three Finds of Emuin, Emer Foltchaín daughter of Forgall Manach and wife of Cú Chulaind son of Súaltaim, Lendabair daughter of Éogan son of Durthacht and wife of Conall Cernach, and Níam daughter of Celtchair son of Uthechar and wife of Cormac Cond Longes son of Conchubur. There was no counting the number of beautiful women at that feast.

And yet the women began once again to squabble over their men and themselves, with the result that the three heroes all but resumed their combat. Senchae son of Ailill rose and shook his staff, and the men of Ulaid fell silent. He spoke words to chasten the women, but Emer continued to praise her husband. Thereupon Conall Cernach said
‘Woman, if your words are true, let that lad of feats come here, that I might oppose him.’ ‘Not at all,’ said Cú Chulaind, ‘for I am tired and broken to pieces. Today, I will eat and sleep, but I will not undertake combat.’ All this was in fact true, by reason of Cú Chulaind’s encounter that day with the Líath Machae by the shore of Lind Léith near Slíab Fúait. The horse had come towards him from the lake, Cú Chulaind had put his arms round its neck, and the two of them had circled all Ériu until at last night fell and the horse was broken. (Cú Chulaind found the Dub Sainglend in the same way, at Loch Duib Sainglend.) Cú Chulaind went on: ‘Today the Líath Machae and I have sought out the great hostels of Ériu: Brega, Mide, Múrese, Muirthemne, Macha, Mag Medba, Currech, Cletech, Cernae, Lía, Líne, Locharna, Fea, Fernen, Fergna, Urros, Domnand, Ros Roigne, Anni Éo. Better every feat of sleeping, dearer food than anything else. I swear by the god my people swear by, if I had my fill of food and sleep, there would be no trick or feat that any man could meet me at.’