Earth (The Invasion Trilogy Book 1) (18 page)

He glances down at my hand, reading correctly my intent by holding it.

“You hate me now because of what I am?” He doesn’t sound accusing, just tired and resigned.

“I don’t hate you. I’m disappointed that this has happened. I think I can sort of understand. This invasion has put a lot of pressure on you, and I’m sorry you’re not handling it well. I can see you believe what you’re saying, but I know it’s not true. You’re obviously getting worse if you felt the need to tell me. Maybe this is your way of warning me that you’re spinning out of control? I mean
, you harmed yourself because you believed you had a tracking device in your arm. What happens when you think there is one inside me? Or Logan? Will you cut us, too?”

He blanches at my words
, giving me a small amount of comfort that he doesn’t relish the thought of harming us.

“I think that maybe we’ve travelled as far as we can together.” I look back down at the bag, seeing all the ammo and the rifle. Is it safe to leave him with a weapon? What if he continues going crazy? What if he ends up harming himself?
But then, what happens if he comes into contact with one of those machines? Can I really just leave him with nothing to defend himself with?

I take out the rifle, knowing that’s the better weapon to have for shooting at a distance and causing the most damage. I place it in front of me on the couch and move the
handgun into Marduke’s bag as well as the spare ammunition.

“You’re leaving?”

“You want to go deeper into the forest, and I want to find Hank and Lisa. It’s time to go our separate ways.” My heart races with my words, and again, I have to blink back my tears.

“But I thought we were… I thought we were friends?” He sounds hurt and that
, too, causes an ache to swell in my chest.

“We are friends, Marduke. Even if we never see each other again, we’ll always be friends.”

“I’ll go with you. If you’re positive you want to find Hank and Lisa, I’ll help you.” He holds his hands up in surrender.

I sigh because I’m confused and afraid
, and I have no idea what I’m doing.

“I don’t want to fight with you
,” I say, sounding weary.

“I don’t want to fight with you
, either.”

“Good
.” I stare up at him, weighing in my mind what he’s saying to me. “Can I trust you, Marduke?”

“Yes.”

“You’ll tell me the truth, no matter what you think I want to hear?”

He’s more hesitant to answer now, but he does eventually. “Yes.”

“Where are you from?”

He stares back at me, our eyes locked
. I see his internal battle.

“Oden
,” he finally says, his craziness winning out.

“Why are you here with Logan and me?”

“Because you saved my life, and I want to protect you both.”

“Why do you want to protect us?”

“Because… you’re my friend. From what I’ve learned on this planet, friends are meant to be there for one another.”

His words cut me like a knife directly to my heart. I know what I need to do. I still care about Marduke because we’ve been through so much together
, and I really did start to like him, more than any guy before. However, as he answers my questions honestly, even though he knows I don’t believe it and he could have easily said what I wanted to hear, I still know Logan and I have to go off alone now.

I haven’t known Marduke for very long,
yet I have gotten a sense of who he is. He’s loyal, brave, sweet and kind. Right now, among that, I add the words crazy and unpredictable. If we stay with him, what will I find out next? That he’s also scary, paranoid and abusive? Will he slip so far into his delusion that he starts seeing things? What if he sees me and thinks that I’m one of those machines? What if he perceives a hug from Logan is an attack?

I know straight away that I can’t risk our safety with him
, but now he’s had to go and say that friends are meant to be there for one another. Marduke needs help—professional help by the sounds of it—but instead of trying, I’ve decided to abandon him. What type of person does that make me?

Logan’s hands tighten around my leg, a position that he hasn’t moved from since he told me he
’s scared. I guess right now the type of person I am is a protector for this small, vulnerable child. I’m not his parent, but I’m all he has. I need to be an adult for him and make tough choices. Leaving Marduke isn’t a nice thing to do, or a humane thing to do, but it’s the smart choice for us in the long run.

“Thank you for being honest with me
; I appreciate it,” I tell him, passing him the bag which now has most of the food and the handgun.

“You’re not going to leave me then?”

“I won’t ever forget you, Marduke. I don’t make connections easily. I’ve always been too focused on studying and basketball to make friends. Lisa and Hank are the only two friends I’ve made outside my team. You’re another person I can call a friend. And you’re right, friends are meant to be there for each other. I’m sorry that I can’t be there for you, though. I need to think of my future and Logan’s, and right now, our best shot is with Hank and Lisa, away from you.”

Marduke blanches at my words. “But my brother is out there
. If he finds you, then I’m not sure I can save you. He’s too powerful and too strong.” He shakes his head, stepping towards me.

I don’t get the chance to avoid his touch. Between the couch directly behind me, Logan wrapped around me on one side and Marduke blocking any exit I might have moving forward, I’m trapped when he places his hand over the side of my face, his touch warm and inviting.

“Please, Mattie, stay with me.”

I almost lean into his touch, his voice sounding too familiar and safe
, yet then I glance down at his injured arm, seeing the still healing cut. The realisation that he has done that to himself hits me again. It fuels my determination that I’m doing the right thing.

“Let go of me, Marduke
,” I demand, sounding harsher than I feel.

“I will if you say you’ll stay.”

This isn’t going to go anywhere between us. Neither of us will back down. “Fine, but we try to find Hank and Lisa, not go deeper into the forest.”

He seems to reali
se that this is the best he’s going to get from me. He nods his head, finally taking the bag off my hands.

There is a new tension between us that
hasn’t been there before. Since we’ve kissed, there has been a sort of tension, yet this feels different. We’re wary of each other now, and the silence doesn’t help.

We leave the shack, Logan wrapped in my arms. He’s not worn out yet
; but I think, after hearing Marduke and me fighting, he needs the comfort.

We walk together for hours, staying in the forest but skirting along the edges, almost within view of the town we’re nearing. I’m hoping Hank and Lisa
have kept moving this way. Staying close to houses is the best way to gather food and supplies, something Marduke hasn’t thought through when he’s suggested moving deeper into the forest.

For hours
, we walk, only stopping once to eat and quench our thirst.

Logan gets grumpy and irritable in the afternoon
, and I’m happy he wants to walk on his own for a while. I’m losing muscle mass from my lack of eating properly, but walking all day, every day carrying Logan is keeping me fit. At least for now. I’m sure my lack of a proper diet will soon start to affect me; it’ll affect all of us. We’ll become weaker and slower. We need to have a system worked out before then. We’ll need to have found a place to stay safe.

When nightfall hits
, we find a grassy area to sleep on. Marduke doesn’t snore, so it’s hard to tell when he’s fallen asleep. In the end, I just quietly call out his name to see if he answers. When I try a little louder and still get no response, I know now is my only shot.

I gather Logan quietly and carefully in my arms, not wanting to wake him up
, either. Then with the gym bag hugging my back and Logan hugging my front, I leave Marduke, disappearing into the darkness and losing him from view. I use the full moon to guide my way through the trees, sticking close to the edge of the forest so I can keep an eye out in case I see the others.

Guilt and nerves eat away at
me, however I still keep placing one foot in front of the other. I’m doing the right thing for us, and once my grief and panic recedes, I’ll realise that.

I
have no reason to believe I am making a mistake. No clue that I am about to experience one of the worst days on Earth I’ve ever lived—a day that will set my future in motion and change my life forever.

Chapter 17

Mattie

Logan is disorientated and worried when he wakes up to find Marduke gone and that we are moving. I’ve assured him that Marduke has just left us to find more food and will be back. I’m a coward. Obviously, I couldn’t explain that he’s lost his mind and claimed to be an alien, but I could have told him something that didn’t get his hopes up. His earlier discomfort at our fighting has now been forgotten, though.

Yesterday
, he held onto me after the fight and refused to be out of my sight. He was wary of Marduke, and I thought that maybe that would be how he’d feel about him from now on. Instead, he woke up missing him and mentioning him every few minutes.

“Where do you think
M’dude is now?”

“When will
M’Dude be back?”

“What type of food will
M’Dude bring us?”

“I hope
M’Dude doesn’t bring me more pink clothes.”

I smiled at that last one.

I’m just glad he isn’t freaking out about Marduke leaving like he did yesterday morning. I’m sure him not waking up to a scary nightmare has helped.

I just wish I
could be sure about how I feel about Marduke. Yesterday, I felt wary and anxious around him. I’ve hoped that as today wore on, I’d feel surer of my decision. Instead, I’m beginning to doubt that I’ve made the right choice.

My insistence to find Hank, Lisa and the girls feels right. I can’t leave them
, and knowing we’re close and heading in the right direction is too tempting. Unless there is a machine directly in my path, then there is nothing that will stop me from staying on this track. Even if a machine does come up, I’ll just find a new way around it and keep going.

Lisa and Hank are my best friends. I’m completely unsure of my feelings towards Marduke, but I am sure about my feelings for them. I love them and they are all I have right now
—I won’t give them up without a fight.

There is
a nagging feeling scratching at the edge of my thoughts, however; piling guilt and unease into my mind, telling me I’ve done a shit thing.

I
’ve left him behind without even a goodbye. I’ve even denied Logan having the chance to say goodbye, something he also never got to say to his dad. Not only that, I’ve left a friend who is clearly in need. What type of person does that? What type of person am I to do that?

I
’ve already had these thoughts at the time I left, and somehow I have been able to justify them enough to go through with this, yet now I can’t remember those reasons that have seemed so logical to me earlier. Logan needed protecting, right? He needed me to do what is best for him.

Well
, now we’re short a person, a set of arms to carry him and eyes keeping a look out for anything wrong. We’re down another companion to keep up the conversation, even if Marduke has been sort of crap at keeping it going, and Logan has no one to talk to when he gets sick of me. Already, he’s missing him, and it’s only the first day.

I feel stuck now, just like I was earlier. I can admit I
’ve made a mistake, go back and hope I can find him and beg him to forgive me for treating him so poorly and hope his mental breakdown isn’t as bad as I feared. Or I can keep moving forward, hoping to find Hank and Lisa, and maybe after I find them, I can go searching for Marduke.

I’ve lost so many people because of this invasion, but this is the first person I’ve lost
when it is my own doing. This is the first person I’ve left behind.

My heart feels heavy in my chest and it doesn’t let up,
not even once. I walk for hours, past the point where my feet ache, past my blisters getting blisters and hours past Logan’s whining of being bored and tired. I eventually tune out his complaints, not able to concentrate on them when I need everything just to remember how to walk and stay upright. I’ve walked all through the night without a break, all through the today, and now night is falling again.

When I have to sit because I can’t walk any longer, Logan and I nearly finish the rest of our food
while I look out at the open fields ahead of me. We’re still walking under the cover of the forest, but we’ve stuck close to the edge so we can see what is around us.

I haven’t seen any machines nearby
, and even though I know Marduke is crazy, I still feel on edge from his warning.

A few bugs scatter around us, unsettled
, quickly burying themselves deep into the ground. I’m too tired to feel fussed by them, instead taking comfort in something normal.

There still hasn’t been any sign or any animals in the forest. At first there were birds squawking and flying above us
, but it’s been eerily silent; no birds, mammals, nothing except the odd, small bug. It’s unnatural that so many animals have fled or been taken away. Another thing to feel angry over. Not only are people being killed, our planet invaded and homes destroyed, they’re also scaring our animals and possibly killing or taking them. Nothing is being left unscathed.

I sleep restlessly and continually wake up throughout the night.

Even given my exhaustion, at first light, I wake Logan up and begin our new trek for the day. I have no choice other than to either find Hank and Lisa today or a new place to get some food and water.

No pressure
, though.

***

After several hours of more walking, luck
finally
comes my way. In the distance, I see two adults walking while carrying two young girls.

I know it’s them, I know it with all my heart and soul.
And for the first time since this invasion, I run without being chased.

New energy spikes up inside me
. When I’m close enough, I scream out their name. I’m holding Logan and he’s on the bumpiest ride of his life, however he doesn’t appear to care. I feel his excitement building, too. When I see them also running towards us, he struggles in my arms until I put him down.

I overtake him then, knowing he won’t find any trouble for the few seconds I can’t see him.

I reach Lisa first, crying with her as we hug each other tightly. Hank wraps his arms around us both, and for long minutes, we’re all just crying and laughing. I hear Logan and the girls catching up, giggling and talking loudly as well.

“We’ve been so worried about you! Are you okay?” Lisa pulls away, scrutinizing me from head to toe carefully.

“You look like shit,” Hank says bluntly, earning a slap on the arm from Lisa.

“I feel like shit. I’m so tired
,” I explain, wrapping my arm around Lisa’s shoulder and using her for support. “I saw you guys a couple days ago, chased you into the vineyards when I saw those machines hunting you. I was about to take them out when they started that fire.”

“Shit, you were in that? I had no idea
. I’m so sorry, Mattie.” Hank pulls me into his side, hugging me so that I have one of them on each side of me now.

“It’s okay
. I was worried you didn’t get out. I nearly didn’t.” Another stab of guilt hits me.

“That’s awful
. Was Logan there, too?” Lisa looks over at the kids, still talking loudly while telling stories of what has happened during their time apart. Logan is telling them the tale of learning to swim even though there were “crockadoodles” and fish as big as a TV in the water.

“No, he was with Marduke.” I swallow heavily saying his name. I know they’re going to ask me about him, and I’m going to have to admit to being an awful person.

“Where is Marduke?” Lisa asks carefully, hesitant and worried. I know she fears he’s been killed by the machines.

“I… I left him behind
,” I whisper, grateful for my hoarse voice when I realise how close Logan is. He still doesn’t know Marduke isn’t coming back.

“You what?”
Hank asks in shock, earning him another slap in the arm.

“Let her explain.”

“He… he saved my life. He pulled me out of the fire and even risked his life to find us food and water.”

“Why did you leave him then?” Lisa asks carefully, no accusation in her voice.

“He started to go crazy. He started saying things, like his brother was after him and…” For some reason, I can’t bring myself to tell them that he thought he was an alien. “And he said his brother wanted to harm us. He went strange, and I worried that he might hurt us. I wanted to keep searching for you, but he wanted to go deeper into the forest. I thought it was best that we went our separate ways.”

“That sounds scary; I think you did the right thing.” Lisa rubs my back, offering me comfort.

“But he saved my life, and he deserved better. I shouldn’t have left him, not when he needed us the most. He was going crazy, and I just left him to die alone.” I burst into fresh tears and this time Lisa wraps me up in a hug, squeezing me tightly.

“It’s okay
. You did the right thing, and you found us. We’re together now and nothing will change that. If you want, we can try to find him, we can go back for him,” Lisa offers, strangely being the put-together friend while I break down.

Hank clears his throat. “Well
, if Marduke was losing his mind, I don’t think we should risk—”

“If Mattie wants to go back, we’ll go back
,” Lisa snaps at him.

“Hanky, I’m hungry.” One of the girls moves over to Hank’s side
, pulling down on his arm.

“Hanky?”
I ask, sniffling while I pull away and wipe my eyes dry.

“Don’t even think about it.” Hank glares at me and
Lisa, but when he stares down at the small girl, his eyes soften. “I know, sweetie, and we’ll eat soon, I promise. How about you show Logan the new game we made up, and afterwards, we’ll have a break and eat?”

The small girl agrees
. Hank carries her over to the others and they keep moving forward.

“Hank’s been casing out what’s ahead. He barely sleeps. During the night
, he walks to make sure nothing dangerous lies ahead, and then he comes back and walks us there, too. He’s been… he’s amazing, Mattie. Like seriously, I think I want to marry him and have ten kids,” Lisa says with a completely straight face.

“You’re kidding right,
ten
kids?”

“Okay, maybe not ten, or any given the state of the world, but you know what I mean. He’s so good with the girls and my heart just melts whenever I see him with them. Look at him, isn’t he adorable right now
?” She points at Hank and I watch as he holds one of the girls upside down, all three kids laughing. I stare at Logan, loving the smile on his face.

“I heard laughing when we got to that field before I reali
sed the machines were there.” I recall the laughter of one of the girls.

“He’s been trying to put them at ease. They absolutely
love him. They sleep on each side of him. I haven’t had a single second alone with him.”

“I’m not really sure this is the time for that type of thing,” I comment, my mind instantly replaying that intense kiss Marduke and I shared.

“Are you kidding me? Not only is it the end of the world, not only have I had feelings for him since last year, not only am I horny, but I also have to see him being this amazing father figure to those girls, seeing him protecting and providing for us, and I have to stay away from him?”

“Well
, okay, how about once the girls are asleep?” I ask, pulling a face at the fact that I’m discussing their sex life, even if it’s their lack of one. I still think of them both as my family, so thinking of them having sex isn’t something I’m overly keen to do.

“They grip onto him like their hands are mini vices. I’ve actually tried to pry them off
, and I can’t move them at all.”

“I guess
, now I’m here, maybe I can give you guys some time alone?” I offer, hoping I’ll be exhausted enough that no noises will make it to my ears. That’s the last thing I want.

“Yes!” Lisa yells, briefly gaining the attention of Hank and the kids before they go back to the game they’re
playing. Right now he has Logan hanging upside-down while the girls dance around them. We’re behind them, moving slowly to keep our distance from them so we can speak privately—well, except when Lisa decides to yell.

“Okay then
.” I laugh a little at her enthusiasm.

“How about you, did you manage to get any alone time with Marduke?” She raises her eyebrow suggestively and winks.

I shake my head, not wanting to tell her about the kiss we shared. She’ll just read into it, and I’m already confused and guilt-ridden enough, I don’t need any more contradicting thoughts entering my mind.

Lisa drops it, perhaps sensing that Marduke is now a sensitive subject. Instead
, we talk about what has happened to us over the past few days we’ve spent apart. I leave out Logan’s imaginary fish as big as TVs and crockadoodles, though.