Earthman Jack vs. The Ghost Planet (23 page)

It felt like they had been walking
for hours.  Jack stumbled after Scallywag and Faruuz as they made their way
over the rocky terrain, occasionally stopping to scavenge various pieces of
what looked like wreckage of space ships, but they usually came up with
nothing.

The two aliens didn’t use flashlights or torches, which made
traveling with them difficult.  The Pit was so dark, sometimes it felt like they
were walking through an empty void.  If it weren’t for the faint glow of
whatever was veined into the rock, and the illumination from that strange
pillar of light, Jack doubted he’d be able to find solid footing on anything.

Faruuz took the lead, since he claimed he was better at
seeing in the dark (though that hadn’t helped when Jack hit him in the head
with a rock).  The two aliens moved quickly, as though they knew the terrain,
and Jack had to hustle to keep up.  They traveled in silence, which meant the
only thing Jack had to focus on was the sound of wailing and moans that seemed
to echo through the air.  Occasionally, he’d hear the rustling of pebbles nearby,
as though some small animal had just streaked across their path, but Jack never
saw anything.  He just gripped the small pistol Scallywag had given him a
little tighter.

“Are we almost there?” Jack whispered as he climbed over an
outcropping of rock after the two aliens.  “You know, wherever it is we’re
going?”

“Aye,” said Scallywag.  “The camp’s just a bit further.”

“You said that, like, an hour ago,” whined Jack.  With all
he’d been through that day, he was incredibly tired, and the brisk pace his
companions were keeping was quickly wearing him out.

“And I was right an hour ago,” replied Scallywag.  “Just
like I am now.”

“Well, you think we could slow down a bit?” pleaded Jack. 
His legs were starting to feel heavier than lead.

“Not a good idea,” said Scallywag.  “A leisurely stroll
through the Pit is a good way to get killed, lad.  The sooner we’re back at
camp, the better.”

Jack grumbled.  The only thing he’d seen so far in the Pit
were these two aliens, and they didn’t seem that dangerous (well, compared to
the Deathlords, anyway).  Jack wondered what was out there that had them both
so on edge.

“Well, if you’re not going to slow down, can we at least
talk about something so I don’t have to listen to all these creepy noises
constantly?” Jack begged.

Faruuz snorted.  “Want me to recite a beddy-bye story for
ya?  Maybe give ya a nice cup o’ warm milk before tucking ya in?”

“No offense, but you doing that sounds even creepier than
all these noises,” replied Jack.

Furuuz turned and gnashed his pointy teeth at Jack.  “Ya
think this is a joke?  Just where do ya think ya are, Earthman? Eh?”

“Um… the creepy Pit of Death, apparently,” said Jack.

“Back off, Faruuz,” muttered Scallywag.

“Oy, stop ordering me around like yer still me Captain,
Scally,” sneered Faruuz.  “This tag-along you picked up is gonna get us killed
with all his talking.  Remember yer own rules?  ‘Move silent, move fast.’ 
That’s what ya said.”

“I know what I said,” replied Scallywag.  “I also know what
it was like when we first wound up in here, too.  The lad’s just scared–”

“Toss the boy,” replied Faruuz.  “He hit me in the head—”

“With a bleedin’ rock, yes, you mentioned that a time or two,”
snapped Scallywag.  “And I’ll cave yer oblong face in with me sodding fist if ya
don’t shut up about it.  We’ll need every gun hand we can get when the next
wave attacks, so you’re gonna learn to live with the lad until one o’ ya stops
breathin’, savvy?”

“Next wave?” asked Jack.  Whatever that was, he didn’t like
the sound of it.

Faruuz looked at Jack with his beady black eyes and smiled a
shark-like grin.  “Aye.  Don’t suppose a tasty morsel like him will last long
anyway,” the alien snorted and spat a thick glob of phlegm at Jack’s feet.

Faruuz turned and kept walking.  Jack looked at Scallywag,
who’d thankfully slowed his pace down a bit, presumably for Jack’s benefit.

“What’s he mean by that?” Jack asked.  “What’s attacking
you?”

“Zombies,” muttered Scallywag dryly.

“Zombies?” said Jack, his eyes wide.  “Like, rotting corpses
shuffling around trying to eat brains, that type of zombie?”

“More like mindless, nasty, mean ol’ browners running ‘round
with the singular purpose of ripping us all to shreds,” Scallywag replied.

“Cooool…” said Jack.  Scallywag raised his eyebrow.  “Oh,
uh, I mean, that’s awful,” Jack corrected.

Scallywag chuckled.  “Yer a strange one, Earthman; I’ll give
ya that.”

“So where do they come from?” asked Jack.  “The zombies, I
mean.  Are they like the product of an evil zombie virus or something?  Or
alien parasites that worm their way into their brains?  Oooo, or are they being
mutated by some weird type of
space
radiation?”

“Don’t know,” replied Scallywag.  “Never bothered to ask ‘em.”

Jack smiled.  Scallywag was a pretty cool alien.  Even
trapped in a deep dark pit of despair, the guy moved with a swagger that seemed
to say he wasn’t scared a bit.  For some reason, that made Jack feel much safer
than he probably was.

“Guess this is normal for you, huh?” said Jack.  “Being a
pirate and all.  You’ve probably had all sorts of crazy intergalactic
adventures and stuff.  Am I right?”

“If by ‘adventures’ ya mean almost getting killed
constantly, yeah, I guess ya could say that.”

“Right on.  I’ve almost been killed, like, 50 times today
already.”

“Well then, sounds like yer off to a fine start for a life
of adventuring.”

“I’d rather have my old life back,” said Jack.  “It used to
be the worst thing I’d have to worry about was some jock meathead picking on me
at school.  I’d give anything to have that back right now.”

“Aye,” said Scallywag.  “And I’d like to be back on me ship,
with a pretty yellow lass on me lap and a cold pint of plaxar rum in me hand. 
Guess that just proves we never get what we like.”

“Is that the ship you were on when the Deathlords got you? 
What’d you call it?”

“The Reaver,” smiled Scallywag.

“Yeah, that.  The Deathlords captured it?”

“Takes more than a few Deathlord Motherships to capture The
Reaver, lad.  We were on a prison transport, actually,” said Scallywag.  “Ol’
Faruuz got himself nipped while raiding a Tarush merchant frigate.”

“What did you get nipped for?” Jack asked.

“Me?” said Scallywag innocently.  “I wasn’t captured.  I was
there ta rescue the bum.”

“I seem to remember you locked up in the prison pod next ta
me,” grumbled Faruuz.

“Well, how else was I supposed ta get aboard the bloody transport?”
replied Scallywag.  “It’s not like they sell tickets onto those things.”

“Just saying, I don’t see how being locked up in the same
ship as me was part o’ some brilliant escape plan,” the alien said.  “Still
think ya probably just said ya were there to help me so I wouldn’t rip your
sodding throat out first chance I got.”

“Trust me, if we hadn’t gotten captured by the Deathlords, me
plan woulda worked just fine,” said Scallywag.  “And I told ya, I was there to
make amends.”

“Bah,” spat Faruuz.  “Like ya could ever make up for what ya
did.”

“Why? What’d you do?” asked Jack.

Scallywag sighed.  “It ain’t important.  We should stop
talking until we get back ta camp.”

“Oh, so now ya want the Earthman to shut up?” smirked
Faruuz.  “Brilliant.  Go on, Earthman.  Ask him.  Ask him more of yer sodding
questions to pass the time, why don’t ya?”

Jack was quiet.  There was obviously something going on
between the two aliens, and he was positive he didn’t want to keep poking at
it.

“What?” asked Faruuz at Jack’s silence.  “No more?  Ain’t
you got at least one more bloody stupid question to ask?”

“Actually,” said Jack.  “Either of you wouldn’t happen to
know what ‘petulant’ means, would you?”

Faruuz stopped and turned toward Jack.  For a second, Jack
thought he was going to raise his rifle at him when Scallywag put his hand on
its barrel and stopped it.

“Easy, mate,” grinned Scallywag. 

Faruuz grumbled.  “Enough of this.  Next one who utters a
peep, I’m blasting.  Don’t care which one o’ ya it is.”

Faruuz yanked his rifle from Scallywag’s hand and stormed
off.  Scallywag winked at Jack before following silently behind his alien friend. 
Jack figured that was his way of telling him Faruuz was serious, so he stayed
quiet the rest of the journey.

After what felt like another couple of hours, the group
approached what appeared to be a crevice in the walls of the Pit, flanked by
large outcroppings of rock.  Faruuz and Scallywag slowed down as they
approached.

“Oy, Rodham,” whispered Scallywag loudly.  “It’s us.  Don’t
bloody shoot.”

Two figures silently emerged from one of the outcroppings of
rocks, carrying what looked like some pretty cool plasma rifles.  Jack thought
the guns looked an awful lot like M-16s, but more futuristic.

The men looked human, but their pointed ears made it obvious
they were Regals, like Anna and Shepherd.  Both were wearing dirty and dusty
uniforms, dark grey jumpsuits with some navy blue tinted armor inter-woven into
them.  On their shoulders were circular crimson patches, containing two golden
orbs – one within the other.

The man in the front as they approached was tall, rugged,
and muscular.  He had a small scar under his left eye, and his gaze was cold
and hard, much like Shepherd’s.  He had close-cropped blonde hair and some
stubble on his face, which said he hadn’t shaved in a while.

The man behind him was more slender and far less muscular. 
He had an uncombed head of dark blonde hair, but his light eyes were far more
scared than that of his companion.  His face looked drawn and pale, even in the
darkness.

“Took your kitten time coming back, pirate,” said the big
man Jack assumed was Rodham.

“Well, had I known you’d miss me so much, I’d have hurried
back sooner,” replied Scallywag.

“Did you find anything?”

“Does an Earthman count?” replied Scallywag, pointing his
thumb toward Jack.

Rodham looked down at Jack as if noticing him for the first
time.

“Not unless we can eat him,” he grumbled.

“Something which I’m not sure isn’t an option,” said Faruuz.

“Any water?” asked the other man, his voice wavering
slightly.  “What about food?”

“It be pretty sparse out there,” replied Scallywag.  “We did
find a few goodies, though.  But nothing that’ll last us more than a day or
two… assuming we can choke it down, that is.”

“Exits?” Rodham inquired.

“Nada,” said Scallywag.  “Solid rock everywhere.  Did the
other team find anything?”

Rodham shook his head.  “They’re not kitten back yet,” he
said.  “You all better get in and report what you found to the Major.”

“Aye-aye, Sergeant,” mumbled Scallywag.  “Don’t know how we
survived for so long without you military types around to report to.”

Rodham’s eyes narrowed.  “Been wondering that myself, Red,”
the big man grumbled.  He punched the shoulder of his companion lightly, though
even that almost knocked the poor fellow over.

“Escort them in, Porter,” said Rodham.  “Make sure they
actually deliver their kitten findings.  Then send Tappert out to replace you.”

“Ya still don’t trust us?” said Scallywag, smiling slyly. 
“Yer breakin’ me cold, black heart, Sergeant.”

“Trust me, pirate, I’d be breakin’ a whole lot more if we
didn’t need each other to survive.”

“You and me both,” said Scallywag as he walked past the
man.  “C’mon, Yeoman Porter.  Lead us to his Majesty.”

Without waiting for his escort, Scallywag entered into the
crevice of rock, followed closely by Faruuz.  Jack walked behind with Yeoman
Porter, his feet screaming and burning with every step.  All he wanted at that
moment was to sit down and take a nap.

“You’re an Earthman?” asked Porter as he walked, trying to
keep an eye on the two aliens ahead of them.

“Yeah,” said Jack.

“What are you doing here?” Porter asked.

“Just lucky, I guess,” said Jack dryly.  Porter chuckled.

“Sorry,” the Yeoman replied.  “I mean, we were taken when
the Deathlords boarded our ships.  One moment, I’m getting the Captain his
coffee, the next, Dark Soldiers appear out of nowhere and shoot me with a ball
of purple light, and now I’m here.”

“Coffee?” asked Jack.  “You mean, like, space coffee?”

“Huh?  No, just… coffee.  Do they not have coffee on Earth?”

“We do, I just didn’t know they had it on other planets.”

“Oh, well, maybe it’s not exactly the same thing.  I am… I
was the Captain’s assistant.  That’s what a Yeoman is, you know.  Kinda like
the head officer’s right-hand man.  If he wants coffee, I get him coffee.  I
also deal with visitors, take his subspace communications, basically run his
life.  You know, stuff like that.”

“Sounds… awesome,” said Jack, not really meaning it.

“It’s not glamorous, but it’s a heck of a lot better than
standing guard out there with Sergeant Rodham; I’ll tell you that.”

“Yeah, what’s his deal with kittens, anyway?” Jack asked.

“What do you mean?”

“He talks about kittens a lot,” said Jack.

“Oh, sorry about that.  The Sergeant tends to swear a great
deal when he’s stressed.”

“Swear?” asked Jack.

“Uh-huh.  Why?  What’s kitten mean on Earth?”

“We use it to refer to a cute baby animal.”

Porter laughed.  “I think it’s safe to say it stands for
something completely different to the rest of the universe.”

Suddenly, Porter began to cough uncontrollably.  He wheezed
and tried to catch his breath.

“You okay?” asked Jack.

“No…” said Porter weakly.  “Ever since we got here, I’ve
been feeling worse and worse.  Like I’m coming down with something, but… it’s
not like any sickness I’ve ever experienced.  It’s this place.  It’s like it’s
crushing me on the inside.”