Earthman Jack vs. The Ghost Planet (9 page)

Not far off State Route 380 was a
homey greasy-spoon diner called “Emma Jean’s Burger Shack.”  It was an old gas
station situated in the middle of a large, empty, gravel-filled lot with a
tall, well-lit sign that was a 24-hour beacon to all manner of night owls,
late-shifters, and truckers on their way to the main freeway.

Long ago, the gas pumps had been closed down, but the food
was still flowing.  Emma Jean’s liked to boast “The Best Hamburgers In River
Heights,” but they served everything from scrambled eggs to New York strip
steak, and they did so at all hours.

Jack actually liked the food better at the Fox Hole Diner
where his mom worked.  Indeed, the Fox Hole did have better food, but it was
all the way out by the freeway – which meant more customers and therefore more
tips for his mom.  But Emma Jean’s was closer, and he wouldn’t think of trying
to make Anna walk all the way to the Fox Hole with him.  Not to mention that the
last thing he wanted was his mom spying on him and his date.

The idea that he was actually
on
a date with the most
beautiful girl in school still amazed him.  Jack was sure a huge, stupid grin
was still plastered on his face as he watched Anna noisily slurp up the last of
her third chocolate milkshake of the evening.

“Dang,” teased Jack.  “If I didn’t know better, I’d think
you’ve never had a milkshake before.”

In all actuality, Anna
had
never had a milkshake
before, since cows (and therefore their milk) were rather unique to Earth, and
she found she quite enjoyed it.  But of course, how was Jack to know that?  She
covered her mouth shyly, as though to hide her sudden bout of gluttony. 

“I, um… don’t get to indulge much,” she said diplomatically.

“I can imagine,” said Jack.  “Your dad’s strict enough at
school.  I don’t even want to think about what he’s like at home.”

Anna nodded.  “He can be… difficult sometimes.”

“Understate much?” joked Jack.

Anna smiled.  “He means well.  Besides, he tends to be
toughest on the people he cares for the most.”

“Then he must
really
care for me!” said Jack.

Anna chuckled.  “Well, then there are the people he just
doesn’t like.”

Jack and Anna both laughed.

“Tell me about it,” said Jack.  “Sometimes I think your dad
really has it out for me.”

“Yeah, you think he’s bad now?  Could you imagine what he’d
do if he found out I snuck out to see you?” she said.

Jack suddenly stopped laughing.

“Um… he doesn’t know you’re gone?” he said.

Anna caught herself.  “Oh,” she said.  “Is that a problem?”

“Pft!  No.  Of course not!” lied Jack.  “I think it’s
awesome.  Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here with me, right?”

“That’s right,” sang Anna.

Images of Mr. Shepherd ripping out Jack’s lungs and gazing
into his gaping chest wound flooded into his mind.

“So!” said Anna cheerily.  “What do you want to do now?”

Get you home before your dad tracks me down and kills me
,
thought Jack.  It would figure Mr. Shepherd would find some way to ruin his
night, even if he were nowhere in sight.  Thus was the scope of that man’s
fearsome power.  Of course, there was always the chance that he didn’t know
Anna was gone, but Jack didn’t count on being that lucky.

“Hmmmm…” said Jack, glancing at his watch.  “Maybe we should
be getting home.  It’s kinda late and we’ve got school tomorrow.”

Anna looked a little disappointed.  It was obvious she was
having fun.  Indeed, since the moment she’d shown up at his place, the entire
night had flown by.  They’d laughed and joked, and Jack had shared all types of
stories about the kids at school that Anna couldn’t seem to get enough of.  Jack
didn’t want it to end either, but he also didn’t want to incur the wrath of Mr.
Shepherd, especially now that the two of them seemed to have reached a type of
understanding.

“But, we could do something tomorrow,” suggested Jack.  “I
mean, I’ve got detention and all, but we could do something afterward.”

“I’m… not sure I’ll be able to get away again,” said Anna
sadly.  “This was kind of a one-time thing.”

Jack and Anna looked at each other.  Jack crumpled his face
like one does just before doing something that’s going to hurt, like ripping
off a band-aid.  But if this was his chance, he wasn’t going to let fear spoil
it.

“Screw it,” said Jack.  “Let’s go catch the midnight show
over at the drive-in.”

Anna looked at him quizzically.  “The what?” she asked.

“The Cedar Point Drive-In,” said Jack.  “I think they’re
playing some horror movie from the 70’s or something tonight, but it could be
fun.”

“A movie?” said Anna excitedly.  “But don’t you need a car
to go to a drive-in?”

“Nah,” said Jack, waving away the question like it was an
annoying fly.  “There’s this hill that overlooks the place.  It’s kinda far
away, but you can still see the screen.  They’ve got this radio station you can
tune to so you can listen in your car, but I’ve got a boombox that works just
as well.”

“Hmmm.  Sitting on a grassy hill, under the stars, at night,
snuggled up and watching a movie…” said Anna playfully.  “Sounds kind of…
romantic, doesn’t it?”

Jack was sure his face chose that exact moment to turn
bright red.

“Oh… well, uh… I wasn’t thinking… I mean, um… I guess you
could… uh…” he stammered.  For some reason, his discomfort made Anna smile.

“Sounds good to me,” she said.

Jack’s heart began racing.  Did the girl of his dreams
really just agree to a romantic starlit night on a hill…
with him
?

What are you waiting for, you fool?
thought Jack. 
Let’s
get out of here!!!

Without wasting another moment, Jack snatched up the check
their waitress had left after delivering Anna’s last milkshake.

“I’m, uh… gonna pay for this,” said Jack.

“Don’t be too long,” Anna smiled, with a hint of playfulness
to her voice.  “We wouldn’t want to miss the movie.”

Jack giggled (rather stupidly, he thought) and leapt up from
their booth.  “Don’t go anywhere,” he said.  “I’ll be right back…”

Jack left Anna and walked up to the cash register at the
counter.  Unfortunately, there were two other people waiting in line to pay
their bills.  Jack twitched anxiously, wondering what the night had in store
for him.

Will I get to kiss her?
he thought nervously. 
I’ve
never kissed a girl before.  How do you do it?  It can’t be that hard. 
Everyone does it, right?  I wonder if she’s kissed anyone before.  What am I
thinking? Look at her!  Of course she has.  Probably some dude who was way
better at it than me.  No, don’t think like that.  This is your night, Jack!  YOUR
NIGHT!  She’s into you!  It’s obvious.  You’re the man!  Nothing is going to
stop you now!  Not Mr. Shepherd, not J.C. Rowdey, not some freak act of God –
NOTHING!!!

Nothing, that is, except maybe the line to pay.  Of course,
the universe decided now would be the right time to make the slowest line ever,
in the history of lines, appear at the Burger Shack.  As some old lady was
squabbling with the waitress at the register over an item on her check, Jack
looked up behind the counter at the old TV mounted on the wall.  It was tuned
to some lame news channel.  He didn’t know what kind of weird “UFO” story the
anchorman was going on about in closed-captions, but it was something to take
his mind off the wait.

Then, the picture on the TV began to go wavy and give way to
salt-and-pepper static.  Even the cheesy soft-rock music that had been playing
over the diner’s speaker system disintegrated into a dead-air hiss.

Suddenly, Jack felt something – a slight vibration, beneath
his feet.  That vibration turned into a low rumble, and all the plates and
silverware in the diner began to clatter.

The patrons all looked around, some of them voicing concern
about what was happening.  Jack heard someone mention “earthquake,” but that
didn’t make any sense.  They were in Ohio.  Ohio never had earthquakes… did it?

Then, the shrill scream of an extremely powerful engine rang
out from overhead.

The windows all around began to rattle from the force of
whatever had flown by.  It felt like a fighter jet had just buzzed the top of
the Burger Shack.  Then it happened again, and a third time.

Jack saw Anna shoot to her feet, her eyes wide.  The people
around him were rushing to the windows, curious about the noises, but Jack went
to Anna’s side.

“Hey, relax,” said Jack, putting his arm around Anna
comfortingly.  “It’s probably just some military jets doing an exercise. 
Wright Patterson Air Force Base isn’t too far away.”

“Right, the Air Force…” she said.  “Do their jets always
sound like that?”

Jack shrugged.  “I dunno,” he said.  “But what else would it
be?”

Anna was tense and looked incredibly frightened.  Jack
thought it was odd she should be so freaked out.  He actually thought the whole
thing was kind of cool.  Nothing exciting ever happened in River Heights, and
it gave him the perfect opportunity to show Anna how brave he could be.

“Hey, maybe your dad found out you were missing and sent the
military to track you down,” he joked.  “If anyone should be scared, it’s me,
right?”

Unfortunately, Anna didn’t respond to his attempt at levity. 
She still looked worried.  Jack tossed some money on the table along with the
check.  It would mean not getting any much needed change back, but Jack was
anxious to get to his romantic rendezvous on the hill.

“C’mon,” he said, taking her hand.  “Let’s get outta here.”

Jack made a move to leave, but Anna wasn’t following.  He
looked at her as she stood, unsure, as if she were stuck on some test question
in school.

“It would have alerted me if anything were wrong…” she
mumbled.

“Hey,” said Jack concerned.  “Are you okay?”

Anna looked at him, as though she had just realized he was
there.  “Um… just give me one second, okay?” she said.

Jack backed off.  “Yeah… sure.”

Anna dug into the front pocket of her jeans and pulled out a
small, thin, metal pad.  It almost looked like a cell phone, but it was a
little too big and flat to be one.  Jack glanced at it out of curiosity as Anna
ran her finger along its screen.  Some strange lettering flashed on it for a
moment and then disappeared.  Anna looked relieved.

“Hey, what is that thing?” asked Jack.

Anna smiled at him.  “Nothing,” she said, putting whatever
it was back in her pocket.  “Let’s go.”

She took him by the hand and began to head toward the exit. 
Jack was still curious, but he wasn’t going to press the subject.  He was
holding hands with the girl of his dreams, getting ready to go to a romantic
encounter on a hill, and at that moment, that was all he cared about.

Before they reached the exit, however, there was a crackle
in the air, almost like the sound of static electricity.  Suddenly, there was a
blinding flash of purple light, and tendrils of purple energy
snap-crackled-and-snaked across the diner.

Everyone in the joint stopped and turned to the source of
the flash, including Jack and Anna.

There, in the middle of the diner, stood two people who had
not been there a moment ago.  In fact, to call them “people” wasn’t really
accurate.  They resembled people in the sense they had a head, two arms, and
two legs – but they were also tall, dark, and imposing figures, clad head-to-toe
in armor so black, they almost seemed like they were shapes cut out of the
fabric of reality itself.  The only things exposed were their eyes, which
burned hot and fiery red.  The rest of their faces were hidden behind an
angular helmet, which looked like something one would find in a torture chamber
from the Middle Ages.

Their long arms were lithe and muscular – obvious even under
the armor – and their hands had talons instead of fingers, which seemed
razor-sharp enough to slice through anything – anything, that is, except the
long, slender, black rifles they were holding, which looked like they were made
from obsidian rock rather than any type of metal.

Everyone in the diner was frozen, staring in shock at the
visitors who had just arrived out of thin air.  One of them held up a small
tablet, made from the same black material as their guns.  He held it out and
slowly swept it across the room as it made a high pitched beeping sound.

He passed it by the shocked waitress at the counter.

BEEP
.

He passed it by a family, frozen in their booth near the
exit.

BEEP BEEP
.

Finally, his hand came to Anna, standing back by the door
with Jack.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP
…

The four fiery red eyes of the shadow men focused on her.

The one with the tablet barked something in a voice that
sounded like a gong shattering – deep and dark and guttural.

The other one raised its rifle and aimed it at Anna.

“Get DOWN!” she yelled.

Before Jack could react, Anna pushed him away and dove in
the opposite direction just as the taloned finger squeezed the trigger.  A ball
of purple light shot from the rifle and barreled toward the spot where Anna had
been not a moment before.

It hit the door to the diner, and in a flash, the door was
no longer there.

The blast from the rifle sent the diner into a furor as the
shock of the shadowy strangers wore off and unbridled panic set in.  Women
began to scream, and people began to scuttle about, looking for cover or an
exit – whichever was more readily available.

Before Jack knew it, Anna was back on her feet and out the
door.  He didn’t wait around either.  He got up and quickly followed, narrowly
dodging yet another ball of purple light that hit the ground and took a chunk
of the floor with it.  For some reason, these jerks were intent on shooting his
girl, and he didn’t like that one bit.