East End Angel (41 page)

On the bus the next day, Pearl felt very low. Jim hadn’t come home last night. She knew he would have been to the pub and slept the drink off at the yard. On VE day there had seemed to be hope for the future, but all that had changed. Jim had threatened to leave her if she came away. Yet, she didn’t have any choice. If Ruby fell very ill, she had to be by her side. She would never forgive herself if she wasn’t. And would Jim really consider leaving Cynthia? They were so close. She was certain that no matter how angry he was with her, he would put Cynthia’s welfare first.

Pearl looked down at their daughter as she gazed from the window. She was growing more and more like Jim, with her sandy hair and quick smile. Even the way she laughed was the same.

Pearl sighed, dragging her mind back to the moment. She had telephoned Patty yesterday from the public call box to say they were coming. This morning she had waited for Jim, but when he’d not come, she had written a note. Again she told him that she loved him and hoped he would understand that she had to see Ruby. She also wrote that there were things she wanted to tell him on her return. Now, as the bus sped through the countryside, she wondered if he would give her the chance to do so.

When the journey came to an end and the bus pulled into the depot, Pearl’s heart sank. It wasn’t her father who waited to meet them, it was Ricky.

‘Hello, Pearl.’ He took her bag as she stepped down.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘Your parents have gone to the hospital. I offered to meet you as I thought they deserved time alone with Ruby. We’ll catch the bus there straight away.’

‘How is Ruby?’ she asked anxiously as she took Cynthia’s hand in hers.

‘She’s been very unwell. The baby is in distress.’ His hand gripped her arm and steered her forward. ‘I’ll tell you as we wait across there.’

Pearl was frightened. Why had he come to meet her? He looked as though he was back to the same old Ricky, dressed immaculately in a navy-blue belted mackintosh, white collar and tie and brogue shoes. Pearl thought that his job at the aerodrome must be paying well, although she’d never seen her father dressed as well as this.

‘Here we are. Let’s all sit down on the bench over there, away from the crowds.’

‘I’d rather stand.’ She wanted to be with other people waiting in the queue. But Ricky insisted. ‘Sit down, Pearl.’

She did as she was told, keeping Cynthia close beside her.

He settled himself beside her. Sliding his gloved hand along the top of the bench, he murmured, ‘Relax, Pearl. You seem very nervous.’

‘I’m worried about Ruby.’

‘She’s being attended to.’

‘Aren’t you concerned that she might lose the baby?’ she asked in dismay.

‘I never wanted it in the first place.’ He took off one of his gloves. ‘As you can see, my hands are healing.’

Pearl looked quickly away. The badly scarred and deformed hand looked horrible.

‘And you’ll be pleased to hear the burns on my chest have healed. It won’t be long before I’m back to the way I used to look. The way you used to like me, Pearl.’ He took hold of her wrist. ‘Don’t move away. You’ve your daughter to think of. We don’t want her upset. Now listen carefully. The doctors think Ruby is going to have a dead baby.’

‘Dead!’ Pearl gasped.

‘Yes, it’s probably dead already.’

She saw the cold expression in his eyes and heard his emotionless voice. Was there something wrong with him? ‘When it’s over, I’m going to leave her,’ he said calmly.

Pearl felt her head spin. She clutched Cynthia tighter as he smiled a strange smile. ‘I despise it here,’ he said bitterly. ‘I hate the aerodrome and being confined to an office. I yearn for the sea, the adventure, the thrill of battle. And you are the only one who understands me.’

Pearl closed her eyes as he gripped her. ‘Ruby will find someone else. A man who can offer her what she wants. An upstanding member of the Church perhaps? She seems to like going there enough. But you and me, Pearl, we’re two of a kind. We’ve always had something special, the love of excitement, of the unknown. I’m never going to let anyone take that away from us again.’

‘R-Ricky,’ she stammered, ‘don’t say those things.’

‘Why not? You and I now have the chance to be together.’

‘Ricky, I’m married.’

His eyes flickered as though he barely remembered. ‘Your husband is a fool, always has been. He doesn’t deserve you.’

‘Ricky—’

‘I’ve thought about leaving Ruby for a long time,’ he continued in a composed voice. ‘When your mother told me she’d written to you, I realized the time had arrived.’ He glanced at Cynthia. ‘I do understand, however, that you have a daughter and I know you wouldn’t be happy to leave her.’ He smiled. ‘You see how considerate I can be?’

Pearl didn’t know what he was talking about. What plans did he mean?

‘We are going to start a new life, Pearl. The war is over and I’ve got plenty of money. All we need are papers to get out of the country. The black market trade is flourishing, if you know the right people to approach. With cash you can buy anything. That’s what the war has done for Britain. It’s opened doors that were previously closed to people like us.’

Pearl swallowed nervously. ‘Ricky, you’re frightening me.’

He looked slowly back at her. Passing his hand across his forehead, he nodded. ‘I’m sorry. But it has to be done like this. Now here is the bus. And when we arrive at the hospital, I want you to behave as normal for everyone’s sake, especially Ruby, who has to be kept calm. Cynthia will be left at the sister’s office as children aren’t allowed in.’ He held her arm tightly as they boarded.

He tried to take her hand, but she pulled it away. Why hadn’t she listened to Jim? If only she could put back time.

Syd walked away from the nurse, who had broken the news they had all been dreading. The long, half-tiled corridor with its Victorian embellishments reminded him of the gaslight era. He braced himself for telling his family. It wouldn’t be easy, as Amy had convinced herself that she was about to be a grandmother for the second time. Rounding the corner, he saw Pearl and his son-in-law sitting on the hard wooden chairs next to Amy. They all stood up when they saw him coming. Even before he got there, he could tell they guessed what he had to say.

‘I’m sorry, son,’ he said to Ricky. ‘She lost the baby.’

His son-in-law frowned. ‘And Ruby?’

‘She’ll be all right.’ Syd looked into the dark eyes that in all these months had never really regarded him with warmth. He didn’t know what to make of the lad. He was a closed book, no doubt about that. But he was Ruby’s choice of husband and that was the end of the matter.

He opened his arms to his daughter and wife.

‘Can we see her?’ asked a tearful Amy.

‘In a minute. They’re giving her something to calm her down.’

‘What was the baby?’

‘A boy.’

‘A boy,’ whispered Pearl, brushing the tears from her eyes. ‘Oh, Dad, poor Ruby.’

Amy began to cry and he tried to console her. ‘Come on, love, let’s walk up the corridor.’ He glanced again at his son-in-law. ‘Me and Amy will wait till you’ve seen Ruby. The nurse said she’d come and take you in.’ He guided Amy away, passing her his handkerchief.

‘Poor Ricky,’ Amy sobbed as they walked, ‘he must be devastated.’

‘Yes, reckon he must.’

Amy blew her nose and sniffed as they rounded the corner. ‘Still, they’re young, they can always try again.’

‘Course they can.’

‘A boy. Was something wrong with him? Did they say?’

‘No, wouldn’t tell me nothing.’

‘Syd?’ Amy lowered her voice. ‘Do you think they’ll stay in Abingley now? I don’t think I could bear it if they went back to the island. Oh, why did your bloody factory have to blow up? It was the start of all our troubles.’

He held her against him as she wept. ‘No use going on about the past, Amy. It ain’t the factory to blame, or moving down here. In fact, we got a new lease of life when I lost my job. We’re happy, ain’t we? You’ve got the Church and all its good folk and I’ve got me allotment. Now, look on the bright side. Ricky’s got a good job and is earning decent money. They’ve only got to wait a couple more months before they’re in a council place. They’d be silly to up sticks because of this.’

But the honest truth was he didn’t have the foggiest what was going to happen. Ricky wasn’t a man to share his thoughts or his plans for the future. In fact Syd found him a bit of a cold fish. There had never been a real bond between them. Not after the way he’d gone about marriage to Ruby. In Syd’s opinion, it wouldn’t have hurt to have waited till he’d come out of that hospital to ask them for the hand of Ruby in marriage. Not all formal, like, but just do them the courtesy of respecting Ruby. Still, that was water under the bridge.

Syd patted his wife’s back and, as he always did, talked his wife into reason. ‘Listen, ducks, our Ruby will have other little ’uns and you’ll be a granny again. I’m willing to bet me bottom dollar that Mr and Mrs Winters will be living just round the corner in them nice new houses behind the pub, by Christmas.’

Amy pushed herself away. ‘Do you really think so?’

‘Course I do.’

She nodded, blowing her red nose again. ‘You’re right, I must pull myself together. We’ve been through a lot, what with the Blitz and Roper’s Way going. But Ruby, bless her heart, has her whole life before her and a good man to make her happy.’

‘That’s more like it, love. Now let’s get back and see how they’re doing.’ Syd was proud of his Amy. She just needed encouragement. She’d been a darned good wife all these years, as Ruby would make, if her bloke thawed out. They’d make a fair marriage, given time.

As for Pearl and Jim, they were salt of the earth. They had no worries with them.

‘Wake up now, son. Go home and get yourself a wash and shave and a decent meal.’

Jim struggled to open his eyes. ‘Is it morning?’

‘I’m going out on me rounds.’

‘I’ll come with you.’

‘No, you won’t. You’ll do as you’re told.’ The rag-and-bone man extended his arm.

Jim was pulled to his feet. His coat was filthy and so were his overalls. He knew he stank, worse than Percy probably, as he hadn’t bathed for over a week.

‘Look, Jim, it’s no business of mine. You work bloody hard in this yard and now I’ve got used to your ugly mug, I’d miss your company if you wasn’t here. But you sleep with the ’orse more than you do with your wife.’

‘You’re right, Percy. It ain’t your business.’

‘Please yerself.' Percy climbed down the ladder that led up to the hay loft.

Jim followed a few minutes later, only to find the old man climbing aboard the cart and leaving the yard. He pushed his hands deep in his pockets and felt a few coins. Enough to satisfy his thirst at the Nelson. He’d asked Pearl point-blank if Winters had ever touched her. She hadn’t denied it, couldn’t. He’d looked into her eyes and seen her guilt. And he’d known without doubt there was something between them. Well, Jim Nesbitt had been a walkover for too long.

He rubbed his unshaven jaw as he entered the pub, the thirst building inside him. He threw back the first pint and felt the ale swim down to his legs. He swallowed another and the pain was eased. He’d have one more and then go back to Pride Place. Was she there or had she gone to Abingley? Was it Winters or him she’d chosen? Jim stared into his empty glass. If she’d decided to stay, there might be some hope . . . just a little, for a desperate man.

‘Ruby? It’s me.’ Pearl bent down to her sister. She was ashen, her damp blonde hair spread over the white pillow.

‘Oh, Pearl, my baby is dead.’

‘I know, Ruby. I’m so sorry.’

‘What did I do wrong?’

Pearl took her sister’s small hand. ‘It wasn’t you. It happens sometimes.’

‘But why?’

‘The doctors will be able to tell you that.’

Tears rolled down her cheeks. ‘I’m so unhappy.’

‘You’ll get over it in time.’

Ruby looked up at her. ‘It’s all right for you to say. You don’t know what it’s like to lose a baby.’

Pearl wanted to say that she did. That she understood what Ruby was going through. Her child hadn’t been formed like Ruby’s, but she had mourned it just the same. One day her grief would end, but how could she tell Ruby that?

Ricky stepped beside her. Pearl shivered at the touch of his arm against hers.

‘I want my baby, Ricky. Why did they take him away so quickly?’ Ruby’s voice was a whimper.

‘Come along,’ Ricky said coldly. ‘These things happen sometimes.’

‘Please take me home.’

‘You must wait until they say you can leave.’

Ruby began to sob.

‘Is there anything you need?’ Pearl asked quietly.

‘No. Ricky, please ask the doctor if we can see our son to say goodbye.’

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ruby. You’ll only upset yourself Ricky returned her hand to the bed. ‘Now, you really should buck up, for your parents’ sake. They’re very worried about you. Pearl and I will visit again tomorrow.’