Eater of Lives(SPECTR #4) (7 page)

Caleb glanced around nervously as the other
agents formed up. “Wow. We’re not taking any chances, are we?”

“No.” John didn’t like sending Caleb in
first, but Kaniyar was right. Gray had the best chance of any of
them of sensing the wendigo first, before it got the drop on
them.

“We don’t have all day, people!” Kaniyar
yelled. “Move!”

“Go,” John said, and made for the front door
into the building. The wendigo had to know they were there by now.
With any luck, it would try to hole up instead of taking off
through a window.

They ran for the building, and in such close
proximity, John
felt
the rise of etheric energy beneath
Caleb’s skin, crackling like static. The pressure around him
dropped, and the fragrance of ozone and sandalwood incense curled
through the air.

Caleb—or maybe Gray—flung open the door. The
dingy hall led onto closed, numbered doors and a narrow stairwell.
The place stank of mildew and sweaty feet.

“Door to door,” John started to say, but
Caleb half-turned—and no, it definitely wasn’t Caleb anymore, his
eyes black as obsidian globes, lightning in their depths. Gray’s
nostrils flared, and his lip curled back, exposing a fang.

Then he darted for the stairwell.

Shit. “Come on!” John yelled, and charged
after. But he couldn’t match the drakul’s speed; Gray vanished up
the narrow turns, making for the upper part of the house. John
cursed and took the stairs two at a time. Behind him, the rest of
the team pounded up the old wooden steps, swearing beneath the
clank of weapons and gear.

A scream echoed from above: female, but with
an animalistic edge. Third floor—of course.

By the time they reached the top, Sean gasped
for breath, his face gone red. A door off the landing stood open.
The inhabitant had papered over the windows, and only the faintest
light showed through at the edges. Stale air wafted out of the
door, stinking like an open grave.

John skidded to a halt in the doorway,
uncomfortably aware the light from the hall made him a silhouetted
target to anything inside. “Federal agents!” he yelled.

There came a low rumble, like distant
thunder, accompanied by an oddly canine whine. Was there an injured
dog inside? Except it didn’t sound like a dog. It sounded like…

“Ghoul,” Gray said, disgust lacing the word.
“One you can exorcise.”

John risked reaching inside and feeling for a
wall switch. The light came on, revealing a filthy room packed with
dirty laundry and crusty dishes. Cockroaches scattered in all
directions, and Sean swore furiously, stamping at the few who made
for the hall. A woman in tattered clothing several sizes too large
for her huddled against the iron bulk of an ancient radiator,
whimpering in fear.

Gray stood in the midst of the squalor like
an avenging angel observing a particularly disappointing pit of
corruption. His clean scent cut through the reek, and wind stirred
his long hair and ruffled his leather coat, despite the close, dead
air of the room.

Goddess, he was beautiful.

Gray vanished, folding back into Caleb like
an origami rose. Caleb looked disgusted as well, although probably
for very different reasons.

“The hell? All this for a fucking ghoul?”
Tiffany demanded from behind John.

John sighed and motioned to Sean. “See to
her,” he said, nodding at the whining woman. “Or do you want to
take her to HQ?”

“Might as well. We’ve got the manpower, and I
don’t particularly want to hang out in here while doing an
exorcism.” Sean shook his head. “Damn it, didn’t the cop bother to
check if the foot was rotted or fresh before he panicked? What the
fuck do they teach at the police academy nowadays, anyway?”

Word had already spread that the raid had
turned into a bust. John walked down the stairs, wincing at the
pull of overtaxed muscles from running up them in the first place.
Caleb followed him down, big boots clunking loudly on the wooden
risers. “I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault.”

“No, but…” Caleb trailed off and shrugged,
the leather coat creaking with his movements. “I’m glad we got to
her before it was, you know, too late. But the wendigo is still out
there someplace.”

“Yeah,” John agreed, stepping out onto the
porch and taking a deep breath of winter air. “And we’re no closer
to finding her than we ever were.”

* * *

“Hey,” Sean said. “You want to get some
lunch? I’ve got something I’d like to talk to you about.”

Caleb looked around the confines of John’s
office, but no, he was the only person there. Sean must be talking
to him. “John is, uh…”

“With the rest of the team, sorting through
all the dead-end leads the tip line is bringing in,” Sean said with
a wry twist of his lips. “You know John won’t leave; it’ll be a
sandwich brought up from the cafeteria for him. Right now, you’re
sitting here bored as fuck, because you don’t have the training to
figure out what might be genuine and what’s bullshit. Well, except
for maybe the tip we got in last night about seeing the wendigo
take off in a flying saucer from the Battery.”

Caleb snorted. “Yeah. Even I could figure out
that one is probably bogus.” But truthfully, Sean had a point. No
one even had time to find something for him to do at the moment, so
he’d spent the morning wondering if he could get away with surfing
for porn on John’s computer, or if it was some kind of federal
offense to use SPECTR equipment to watch videos of hot guys
fucking. “Okay, sure. Let’s get out of here.”

Sean’s sedan was identical to John’s, except
the upholstery reeked of cigarette smoke. Caleb’s hypersensitive
nose itched like he’d just snorted fiberglass insulation, and he
prayed Sean didn’t intend to drive them very far. “Where are we
headed?”

“A little Middle Eastern deli a few blocks
from here. They’ve got hummus and falafel sandwiches. I figured it
would be a safe place for you to eat. Unless you don’t like hummus
and falafel.”

“Love both.”

“Good.” Sean seemed to relax slightly. He’d
acted a lot nicer ever since Caleb moved in with John; maybe he
really did want to be friends. Considering everyone else at SPECTR
looked at Caleb like he might vamp out and start sucking blood any
minute, it was good to have Sean on his side, even if just for
John’s sake.

“You into NASCAR?” Sean asked, after they’d
driven a few minutes in silence.

Too bad Caleb sucked at small talk. “Uh, not
really. I watched a few races with John, though. Some of the
drivers are cute.”

Sean flushed slightly. “I’ll take your word
for it.”

Fortunately, Sean parked the car not long
after. He’d picked out a true hole-in-the-wall for lunch, and
diners already packed the tables inside. In the spring and summer,
no doubt it offered café seating as well, but they hadn’t bothered
putting out tables and chairs on a winter day threatening rain.

“Maybe we should try somewhere else?” Caleb
suggested, even though he didn’t want to spend any more time in the
smoke-impregnated car.

“We’ll get it to go and walk while we’re
eating.” Sean touched his left shoulder, where the bullet had
grazed him. “I haven’t totally given up on my new health kick
yet.”

Caleb glanced at the overcast sky
uncertainly. But hell, maybe Sean thought a little exercise was
worth getting his suit wet. “Sure.”

Sean ordered a lamb gyro, and Caleb hummus on
pita. As they strolled away, Caleb sniffed it cautiously; the man
at the register had assured him the basil-pesto hummus didn’t
contain any garlic, but he didn’t want to take a bite without
confirming it himself. God, he couldn’t wait to get back to eating
garlic.

“
I do not understand why you wish to
poison us.”

Of course he couldn’t go long without Gray
chiming in. Caleb ignored the comment and took a bite. The basil
burst on his tongue: sweet and tangy, perfectly balancing the
chickpeas and lemon juice. “Good stuff,” he said, after he’d
swallowed.

“Yeah. John and I used to go there all the
time, when we first started working for SPECTR.” Sean glanced away,
as if the renovated buildings surrounding them held memories.

“But not any more?”

Sean shrugged and bit into his gyro. When
he’d finished chewing, he said, “You know John. Even at the
Academy, he’d stay in on a Saturday night and study, while the rest
of us were out partying. Once we were hired, eating lunch at his
desk, working ten-hour days, became normal for him. Then Will came
into his life.”

Caleb scowled. Was this what Sean wanted to
talk about? Why? “Oh?” he asked, as neutrally as he could.

Sean had the grace to look uncomfortable.
“You have to understand, John has lived and breathed SPECTR since
we were teens. The rest of us had families and summer vacations.
Friends from our old neighborhoods. And maybe it wouldn’t be a
problem, if the job were less high stress. If agents don’t have
enough time away from it, though, they burn out. Shit, you saw what
happened to Brimm—he ended up hiding in the woods with a pack of
ghouls, raving about SPECTR and government conspiracies.”

“John would never do something like that,”
Caleb snapped.

Still clutching his half-eaten gyro, Sean
held up his hands in a plea for peace. “I didn’t say he would. My
point is just that Will was good for him. For the first time, he
had something outside of SPECTR. Something normal.”

Caleb’s stomach cramped around the food he’d
eaten. “Then Will dumped him. And now he’s with me.”

Sean looked down at the cracked sidewalk.
“Yeah.”

Oh, no way. “What are you trying to say
here?”

“I had drinks with Will, night before last.
He wants to get back together with John.”

Caleb came to an abrupt halt. “What?” he
demanded, but a lower rumble tainted the words, Gray rising up
inside him.

Sean’s eyes widened and he took a wary step
back. Too late, Caleb remembered Sean was an exorcist; of course he
felt the fluctuation of etheric energy.

Gray didn’t care.
“John is ours.”

Let me deal with this, damn it
. But
anger burned in his veins, twining with Gray’s until he wasn’t sure
what belong to whom any more.

“I guess that’s just too fucking bad,” Caleb
said, and thank God, his voice sounded normal. Mostly.

A hard look came into Sean’s eyes, and Caleb
knew he and Gray had crossed some mental line in the other man’s
head. “Listen to yourself. The
thing
inside you is getting
stronger.”

“No he isn’t,” Caleb snapped, which was
true…but also probably exactly what every possessed bastard
insisted. “Besides, this isn’t about Gray. John’s going to exorcise
him—”

“What if he doesn’t? Today is Thursday. One
week from this Saturday, your time runs out in a big way. Have you
even stopped to think what losing you is going to do to John?”

“He’s not going to lose me!” Caleb yelled,
the roll of thunder crackling under his voice.

Sean stepped back, and his hand hovered near
his concealed holster. “If John can’t yank the drakul out of your
head, you’re gone. It will take over and that will be that. No more
Caleb Jansen.”

“
He lies!”
Gray boiled under Caleb’s
skin, fighting to get to the surface.
“Why would I do such a
thing?”

“And who do you think John will blame for
it?” Sean went on relentlessly. “Himself, of course. Bad enough for
him to put you down if you’re just friends. How much worse is it
going to be if you’re his boyfriend, too?”

Caleb’s heart pounded like it wanted to
wrench free of his chest. “Even if…even if I get stuck with Gray,
we can make it work. It’s working now, isn’t it?”

Was it? Did he really want to spend the rest
of his life this way?

Sean’s look turned grim. “NHEs
lie
Caleb. They seduce their victims, convince them everything is going
to be okay, until it’s too late.”

“But Gray didn’t ‘seduce’ me. He didn’t even
mean to possess me in the first place!”

“Sure, maybe. But now? Damn it, Caleb, don’t
you think I’ve heard all this before, from every idiot who summoned
an NHE because he thought he could handle it?” Sean shook his head.
“John won’t see it, because he’s got a death wish. You were
right—he won’t go off the deep end like Brimm. And even if he did
try to commit suicide as a teen, I don’t think he’d eat his gun.
But sleep with a possessed guy, who might vamp out and kill him any
minute? It’s the very definition of reckless stupidity.”

“We would never—” And shit, now
their—his—pronouns were slipping.

Sean caught it, of course. “John needs
someone normal. Someone stable. Someone who will help him pick up
the pieces if he isn’t able to figure out how to get rid of your
passenger. Will wants to be that guy.”

“So you want me to, what? Break up with John?
Step aside?”

The hardness faded from Sean’s gaze, replaced
by sympathy. “I want you to do what’s best for him. If you really
love him—”

“Fuck you.” Caleb clenched his hands into
fists, and just nails bit into his palms, not claws. Just human
nails. Really. “I’m not riding back with you. Tell John I went
home.”

“Caleb—”

Caleb spun on his heel and walked away, his
body shaking. He had to get away from these thoughts, these
feelings. He had to think.

The moment he was out of Sean’s sight, he
broke into a run. Gray rose in him, until he couldn’t tell the
difference any more, both of them running and climbing and jumping,
anything to get away.

Except they couldn’t escape the inside of
their own head.

* * *

Gray sits atop the spire of the church tower,
staring out over the city toward the ocean. Rain moved in shortly
after they left Sean, a silvery curtain draping the city, driving
the mortals inside.